Re: when Body image screws up your entire evening

[Guest guest]

thanks Abby

it has been a challenge but it has been a partial victory as well.

I know it would have been a major victory if I had been able to leave all fears

out and allow my boyfriend to introduce me to his ex...but it was just too much

A

> >

> > I was in a fat mood the entire Sat and not because I was eating

> > excessively.It was just excessive body checking. I wrote a lot of

> > affirmations and they helped to some extent.

> >

> > My boyfriend invited me to see a play and I accepted. He then added I was

> > going to meet his best friend who was going to be there.That sent an

> > inmediate red flag. My mind started going in all directions but mainly one:

> > I am too fat to meet him, he is going to look at my fat ass, he is going to

> > count the rolls under my stomac\h, etc, etc.

> > To make things worse, my boyfriend said his ex-girlfriend was the main

> > actress in the play.

> > I was ready to say that I didn't feel well to go. After all, I had the

> > perfect excuse: I have had a cold for the last 2 days and I didnt want to

> > sneeze and cough in a small theatre.

> > Anyway, the affirmations on accepting my body styarted to work and I felt

> > stronger so I did get dressed and fortunately, it was ONLY a fat mood as my

> > clothes did fit.

> > We walked into the theatrer and as we were waiting for the tickets, my

> > boyfriend's friend came to greet us and then we walked to the room.

> > My boyfriend wanted me to sit by his friend's girlfriend but I didnt want

> > to be near a superskinny girl who was going to make me feel super fat.

> > During the entire two hour play, I was doing nothing but over studying my

> > boyfriend's ex. They broke up more than 6 years ago and there is no

> > indication that they want to get back but I can't help comparing myself to

> > the women he dated.

> > so during the entire play, I was studying at every detail of her body.

> > I have done the same in the past with a girl he dated in 2004. She gained a

> > lot of weight and I even went to the point of printing her current picture

> > to tell myself that I don't want to get as fat as she got.

> >

> > I know this is sick.

> >

> > an yway, to end my story about last night, let me say that the body

> > checking went on to the point of making me isolate myself.The play ended and

> > we went to the lobby. I imagined that they were going to wait for the

> > actress to come out and talk to her so I pretened to be busy on my phone. I

> > pretended to pick up a call and I stepped outside.

> > I wasn't comfortable meeting my boyfriend's ex despite the fasct that I

> > didnt think she was cuter or more successful than me.

> > Despite feeling that I was beautiful, I allowed her to have more power over

> > me.

> >

> > My boyfriend came out to ask me to be introduced to his ex girlfriend and I

> > told him: " Thanks, I pass " .

> >

> > We came home and we didn't talk about it. My boyfriend said his friend

> > thought that I was cute. He didn't mention anything about why I didnt waqnt

> > to meet his ex. We just left it like that, no discussion.

> >

> > Do I know why I really didn't want to meet her?

> >

> > no

> >

> > probably more body checking, more insecurities.

> > I did tell him that he should have told me in advance that they were

> > planning on waiting for the actors after the play.

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

thanks Abby

it has been a challenge but it has been a partial victory as well.

I know it would have been a major victory if I had been able to leave all fears

out and allow my boyfriend to introduce me to his ex...but it was just too much

A

> >

> > I was in a fat mood the entire Sat and not because I was eating

> > excessively.It was just excessive body checking. I wrote a lot of

> > affirmations and they helped to some extent.

> >

> > My boyfriend invited me to see a play and I accepted. He then added I was

> > going to meet his best friend who was going to be there.That sent an

> > inmediate red flag. My mind started going in all directions but mainly one:

> > I am too fat to meet him, he is going to look at my fat ass, he is going to

> > count the rolls under my stomac\h, etc, etc.

> > To make things worse, my boyfriend said his ex-girlfriend was the main

> > actress in the play.

> > I was ready to say that I didn't feel well to go. After all, I had the

> > perfect excuse: I have had a cold for the last 2 days and I didnt want to

> > sneeze and cough in a small theatre.

> > Anyway, the affirmations on accepting my body styarted to work and I felt

> > stronger so I did get dressed and fortunately, it was ONLY a fat mood as my

> > clothes did fit.

> > We walked into the theatrer and as we were waiting for the tickets, my

> > boyfriend's friend came to greet us and then we walked to the room.

> > My boyfriend wanted me to sit by his friend's girlfriend but I didnt want

> > to be near a superskinny girl who was going to make me feel super fat.

> > During the entire two hour play, I was doing nothing but over studying my

> > boyfriend's ex. They broke up more than 6 years ago and there is no

> > indication that they want to get back but I can't help comparing myself to

> > the women he dated.

> > so during the entire play, I was studying at every detail of her body.

> > I have done the same in the past with a girl he dated in 2004. She gained a

> > lot of weight and I even went to the point of printing her current picture

> > to tell myself that I don't want to get as fat as she got.

> >

> > I know this is sick.

> >

> > an yway, to end my story about last night, let me say that the body

> > checking went on to the point of making me isolate myself.The play ended and

> > we went to the lobby. I imagined that they were going to wait for the

> > actress to come out and talk to her so I pretened to be busy on my phone. I

> > pretended to pick up a call and I stepped outside.

> > I wasn't comfortable meeting my boyfriend's ex despite the fasct that I

> > didnt think she was cuter or more successful than me.

> > Despite feeling that I was beautiful, I allowed her to have more power over

> > me.

> >

> > My boyfriend came out to ask me to be introduced to his ex girlfriend and I

> > told him: " Thanks, I pass " .

> >

> > We came home and we didn't talk about it. My boyfriend said his friend

> > thought that I was cute. He didn't mention anything about why I didnt waqnt

> > to meet his ex. We just left it like that, no discussion.

> >

> > Do I know why I really didn't want to meet her?

> >

> > no

> >

> > probably more body checking, more insecurities.

> > I did tell him that he should have told me in advance that they were

> > planning on waiting for the actors after the play.

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Pushing yourself past your comfort zone does not help the process of working through fears. I think you did exactly right by respecting your own needs first and foremost.Abby

 

thanks Abby

it has been a challenge but it has been a partial victory as well.

I know it would have been a major victory if I had been able to leave all fears out and allow my boyfriend to introduce me to his ex...but it was just too much

A

> >

> > I was in a fat mood the entire Sat and not because I was eating

> > excessively.It was just excessive body checking. I wrote a lot of

> > affirmations and they helped to some extent.

> >

> > My boyfriend invited me to see a play and I accepted. He then added I was

> > going to meet his best friend who was going to be there.That sent an

> > inmediate red flag. My mind started going in all directions but mainly one:

> > I am too fat to meet him, he is going to look at my fat ass, he is going to

> > count the rolls under my stomac\h, etc, etc.

> > To make things worse, my boyfriend said his ex-girlfriend was the main

> > actress in the play.

> > I was ready to say that I didn't feel well to go. After all, I had the

> > perfect excuse: I have had a cold for the last 2 days and I didnt want to

> > sneeze and cough in a small theatre.

> > Anyway, the affirmations on accepting my body styarted to work and I felt

> > stronger so I did get dressed and fortunately, it was ONLY a fat mood as my

> > clothes did fit.

> > We walked into the theatrer and as we were waiting for the tickets, my

> > boyfriend's friend came to greet us and then we walked to the room.

> > My boyfriend wanted me to sit by his friend's girlfriend but I didnt want

> > to be near a superskinny girl who was going to make me feel super fat.

> > During the entire two hour play, I was doing nothing but over studying my

> > boyfriend's ex. They broke up more than 6 years ago and there is no

> > indication that they want to get back but I can't help comparing myself to

> > the women he dated.

> > so during the entire play, I was studying at every detail of her body.

> > I have done the same in the past with a girl he dated in 2004. She gained a

> > lot of weight and I even went to the point of printing her current picture

> > to tell myself that I don't want to get as fat as she got.

> >

> > I know this is sick.

> >

> > an yway, to end my story about last night, let me say that the body

> > checking went on to the point of making me isolate myself.The play ended and

> > we went to the lobby. I imagined that they were going to wait for the

> > actress to come out and talk to her so I pretened to be busy on my phone. I

> > pretended to pick up a call and I stepped outside.

> > I wasn't comfortable meeting my boyfriend's ex despite the fasct that I

> > didnt think she was cuter or more successful than me.

> > Despite feeling that I was beautiful, I allowed her to have more power over

> > me.

> >

> > My boyfriend came out to ask me to be introduced to his ex girlfriend and I

> > told him: " Thanks, I pass " .

> >

> > We came home and we didn't talk about it. My boyfriend said his friend

> > thought that I was cute. He didn't mention anything about why I didnt waqnt

> > to meet his ex. We just left it like that, no discussion.

> >

> > Do I know why I really didn't want to meet her?

> >

> > no

> >

> > probably more body checking, more insecurities.

> > I did tell him that he should have told me in advance that they were

> > planning on waiting for the actors after the play.

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Pushing yourself past your comfort zone does not help the process of working through fears. I think you did exactly right by respecting your own needs first and foremost.Abby

 

thanks Abby

it has been a challenge but it has been a partial victory as well.

I know it would have been a major victory if I had been able to leave all fears out and allow my boyfriend to introduce me to his ex...but it was just too much

A

> >

> > I was in a fat mood the entire Sat and not because I was eating

> > excessively.It was just excessive body checking. I wrote a lot of

> > affirmations and they helped to some extent.

> >

> > My boyfriend invited me to see a play and I accepted. He then added I was

> > going to meet his best friend who was going to be there.That sent an

> > inmediate red flag. My mind started going in all directions but mainly one:

> > I am too fat to meet him, he is going to look at my fat ass, he is going to

> > count the rolls under my stomac\h, etc, etc.

> > To make things worse, my boyfriend said his ex-girlfriend was the main

> > actress in the play.

> > I was ready to say that I didn't feel well to go. After all, I had the

> > perfect excuse: I have had a cold for the last 2 days and I didnt want to

> > sneeze and cough in a small theatre.

> > Anyway, the affirmations on accepting my body styarted to work and I felt

> > stronger so I did get dressed and fortunately, it was ONLY a fat mood as my

> > clothes did fit.

> > We walked into the theatrer and as we were waiting for the tickets, my

> > boyfriend's friend came to greet us and then we walked to the room.

> > My boyfriend wanted me to sit by his friend's girlfriend but I didnt want

> > to be near a superskinny girl who was going to make me feel super fat.

> > During the entire two hour play, I was doing nothing but over studying my

> > boyfriend's ex. They broke up more than 6 years ago and there is no

> > indication that they want to get back but I can't help comparing myself to

> > the women he dated.

> > so during the entire play, I was studying at every detail of her body.

> > I have done the same in the past with a girl he dated in 2004. She gained a

> > lot of weight and I even went to the point of printing her current picture

> > to tell myself that I don't want to get as fat as she got.

> >

> > I know this is sick.

> >

> > an yway, to end my story about last night, let me say that the body

> > checking went on to the point of making me isolate myself.The play ended and

> > we went to the lobby. I imagined that they were going to wait for the

> > actress to come out and talk to her so I pretened to be busy on my phone. I

> > pretended to pick up a call and I stepped outside.

> > I wasn't comfortable meeting my boyfriend's ex despite the fasct that I

> > didnt think she was cuter or more successful than me.

> > Despite feeling that I was beautiful, I allowed her to have more power over

> > me.

> >

> > My boyfriend came out to ask me to be introduced to his ex girlfriend and I

> > told him: " Thanks, I pass " .

> >

> > We came home and we didn't talk about it. My boyfriend said his friend

> > thought that I was cute. He didn't mention anything about why I didnt waqnt

> > to meet his ex. We just left it like that, no discussion.

> >

> > Do I know why I really didn't want to meet her?

> >

> > no

> >

> > probably more body checking, more insecurities.

> > I did tell him that he should have told me in advance that they were

> > planning on waiting for the actors after the play.

> >

> >

> >

> >

>