New Member

[Guest guest]

Hi, new member here. I am 55, married and living on a truck. I am not new to IE, I practiced it in the past, when I first read the books in the 1990’s. Lots of Geneen Roth too. Currently I am reading the Zen of Eating, love the book, One Bowl and have a few other mindful eating type books at home that are waiting for the next run.

I firmly believe the concepts of these books are the key to getting in touch with ourselves, our relationship to food and maintaining a normal and comfortable weight without obsessing about it. However, all I ever could do was maintain my weight, even when severely obese. The concept of being intune with ones body’s cues and eating mindfully will bring the body back to it’s natural weight may work for those with a small amount of weight to lose, but it never happened for me. Perhaps my eating was geared towards a heavier body and my intuition kept me eating just enough to maintain? I do not know.

I went on a diet when both my husband and I went through some major life changes. I had gained more weight and topped at 317 lbs. I went on a simple calorie counting diet and in a year, lost 80 lbs. I am now at an 85 pound loss today, and see it will take at least another year of dieting to lose the remaining weight (75 more pounds). While I like how I feel with the loss, and I like eating small amounts of food, I still feel the concept of another year of counting nutrients as a heavy sigh. Even if I gave up calorie counting, I still have to count carbs as I have become diabetic from my obesity and I want to stay off of medication which I can do on a very low carb count.

Why I am here, is that I attempted to do IE last September when I hit my 1 year anniversary with dieting. It just did not come easy to me and the weight was coming back on because I desired foods that shot my blood glucose readings to the roof. I went back on my diet mid October and the loss is coming again and the blood glucose readings are back in a better range for me. This is my longstanding problem with IE, is that I can find balance and peace with eating, but I cannot return to a normal weight, nor stay obese for health reasons. I went IE for 2 years in the 1990’s and my weigh dropped naturally down about 25 pounds (then completely stopped) because I no longer binged. But that does not work for my overall obesity. Yes, I do know that it is not a weightloss method, but I believe the body does know what it needs and we have only to carefully listen.

I had thought I could go back to IE once I had secured enough of a loss to get mobile again. I am getting there, but have a huge fear of not being able to leave my diet and do IE and still eventually return to a normal weight. My diet has been long term and become a way of eating for me that is manageable and I have no issues with temptations or wanting to binge or cheat. My original idea was to wait until the maintenance period to experiment with IE and have the relationship with eating worked on in a positive and mindful way. However, as I am studying the teachings of the Buddha, I am becoming more aware of mindfulness and finding that I want to move into this direction now! I do not trust myself to be able to do it without support and guidance.

I am pondering the wisdom of changing what is working for me when I realize that perhaps I am not ready to let go of the control and certainty the diet has provided. I have decided for now, to stay within the framework of my diet until I have reached my normal weight and practice mindfulness eating what I can eat as I go along. I have been waiting for hunger before eating, learning the different degrees of hunger, smelling, tasting, observing the meal before eating, eating slowly and practicing gratitude for having a meal to nourish my body. It’s a shift in the right direction and hopefully through meditation and continuing to learn the lessons I need to know, I will slip further away from a numbers based diet into intuitive and mindful eating. I am however, not there yet.

Any suggestions welcome.

[Guest guest]

Welcome ,

Like you, I had to make a few false starts before 'getting' IE to work for me.

Also like you, I read Geenen Roth's books years back, but while they clicked for

me, I could find the support there that I needed. Happily I did find this group

and support too. I also agree with your reservations about naming food issues

'addictions'. What I love about IE is that its 'me' centered. I'm in charge as

well as responsible for by body. And the most lovely thing about my body is its

acceptance of my treatment of it.

Post as much as you can, even if that tests a comfort level for you. The IE

journey is about living, not fighting our own lives. Returning to eating as a

part of life is wonderful but more than likely will take a different focus than

we have developed in our eating histories. I sense that you are up to that

effort and glad to have you join us here.

BEST to you,

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> My name is ...and hmm, what to say to introduce myself!

>

> I'm 50, and I'd say I started struggling with my relationship to food in my

early to mid thirties. I found some help in my late thirties in OA, and for a

while that worked well for me. I'm still very grateful to OA for vastly

enhancing my spiritual and emotional lives.

>

> However, over time it just didn't seem to be working well for me - I was never

sure if it was because I didn't throw myself into it at 100% in various ways, or

because it just wasn't the right fit.

>

> In any case, a couple months ago I read Geneen Roth's new book, and it

reminded me of things I'd read in what I think was her very first book, many

years ago. I then picked that one back up too. I decided I wanted to really

try eating when I'm hungry, stopping when I'm satisfied, not eating for

emotional reasons, etc. I love the idea of learning to trust my body.

>

> For a couple weeks I had a little honeymoon with it and was so excited. I

felt in tune with my body, wasn't overeating, wasn't denying myself

anything...and then, wham. I'm not sure what happened, but for the last month

or so I have been really struggling. For one thing, I am THINKING way too much

for my liking, about food. Second, I'm eating way more sugar and white flour

than feels good for my body, but can't seem to stop making those choices even

when I know they're " mind " choices not " body " choices.

>

> I'm not judging myself for eating " bad " foods - it's that I truly don't feel

these are loving choices for my body. Sugar usually makes me feel tired and

logy, and also from a healthy place in my mind (as opposed to the obsessing

about what I think I should look like or what others think), I DON'T want to

gain more weight. I'm about 20 pounds overweight and it's not about the looks,

it's that I like the energy I feel and my joy in movement, when I am lighter.

And yet I can't seem to stop...so now I'm a little worried that maybe I do need

to go with OA's model of addiction (which I never really went with completely,

even in OA - as I was one of those rare birds who did allow some sugar in my

food plan, and never restricted white flour at all). Yet I really love the idea

of IE if I could believe it can work for me. I'm wondering a little about

combining the best of both programs, but somehow that feels a little mind

boggling.

>

> I could go on and on but this has already been long. I'm hoping to find

support on this board, and offer it too when I have it to offer! I'm a little

fearful of joining because I tend to have time for online activity in

spurts...I'll have a couple weeks with more time, then very little, then back

again... But I figure I'll just do my best!

>