Deep sadness......grieving my lost childhood

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

I am very sad right now.  Lately I have been connecting to my inner child, the

little girl in me.

Im getting to know her and love and nuture her, I had some kind of awakening the

other day, I was driving in my car to work, and I felt my inner child with me, I

pictured her sitting on the passenger seat of the car, and I was telling her how

beautiful and amazing she is, and that even though she was severly abused as a

child, and her real parents, as in my real parents didnt look after he, (me), I

told her that I will take care of her now, and thats she doesnt need to be

scared anymore.

Thats is the great part of connecting with my inner child, the sad part is that

I see my beautiful son, who is my life, I see him growing up and living a

healthy happy childhood, and I have triggers, of how could anyone put a child or

even and adult through so much abuse.  I have so many unanswered questions, why

was I never allowed to be a child, why was I never allowed to be happy, I never

ever deserved what I was put through as a child, all I wanted was to be loved

and looked after by my parents, I never asked for any of the abuse I endured.

Just a moment ago a real deep sadness came over me, a sadness that I have never 

felt before, I sat with the sadness although it did overwhelm me a little.

Is this me finally starting to heal???  Is what I am going through a sign that I

am well on the road to recovery and on the road to valuing myself and loving

myself?

Thoughts welcome at this very sad time for me

Thanks

x