Re: Sharing food

[Guest guest]

Sohni,I can see why you might hoard... your boys can scarf down your special food without even realizing it, and without leaving any for you! that would make me anxious, too. 

can you buy such a large amount of at least some of these foods that you know the boys won't eat it all? you know, like a dozen bags of chips? it may lose it's excitement for them, too, if there's tons of it around....not that they wont eat if they are hungry, but they'd probably also eat other things in that situation. maybe you can stockpile some other snacks that they like that you don't.

the point is for EVERYONE to legalize food. even if they are thin, ravenous, oblivious teenage boys... in their case, just to make make un-special your special foods.i also think it would be ok to have a spot that's just for you...  but maybe you can make it not a secret? at least tell one other person about it... maybe your husband? 

i hope some of this might help.best,abby

 

Ever since childhood I've been a hoarder/sneaker/possessive nut about my

binge food. I know that this attitude isn't healthy, because it's

labeling food as some kind of treasure, but it's something that I have a

really hard time dealing with. So one of my current goals is to be

willing to share food--mostly with my teenage boys, who of course are

like locusts with food--and not become anxious over it. Sometimes it's

working, sometimes not. I'm trying to get it in my head that if I run

out, I can always get more. Just wondering if anyone else has the same

issues with being secretive with food.

Just wanted to add that despite all my food problems, somehow I managed

not to pass that on to my kids and they are pretty normal eaters--for

teenagers, that is. ; ) I'm thankful for that!

Sohni

-- Abigail C. Wolfson, RN, MS, CPNPLICH School Based Health CenterBrooklyn New School & Brooklyn School for Collaborative Studies610 Henry Street, Room 209

Brooklyn, NY 11231 (fax)

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Sohni, for bringing this subject up; I admire your courage for doing so! I've always been too embarrassed to admit it, but when I binge, I also horde and hide. Then eat the stash in secret. Have to admit I'm embarrassed right now to write this confession. The deceit makes me feel so contemptible, but it would make me feel even worse if people found out or I was caught. Thank God, I haven't done this in several months. But you know, I sometimes wonder if I'll ever really be able to eat baked goods like a normal person. You know, one is too many and 100 isn't enough!!

Yesterday I finally purged my soul and told my husband about this problem. I promised that next time when I got the urge I'd tell him how I was feeling and eat in front of him rather than stuffing my face in secret.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest!

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

It's really not the kids, though--this has gone on since I was a small

child.  If I buy something for me, they know not to eat it (like my

Breyer's mint chip ice cream--no one touches that but me, ha!), and

most of what they'd eat I don't want anyway.  It's more of a mental

issue with me.  For instance, if I'm having something like

chocolate-covered raisins, and I have way more than I am going to want

to eat, if they ask if they can have some my first instinct is to yell

"No!"  So I'm working on instead saying, "Sure, go get a dish and I'll

give you some" and not worrying about it.  I can buy more tomorrow, buy

something else good, etc.  The kids don't eat a lot of junk food, but

naturally if they see me eating it, they want some.  I do most of the

things you suggested--I have my own space, they have their own snacks,

etc.   It's hard to explain, but it's not the food so much as the act

of sharing that's the thing.  It wouldn't matter if I had an endless

supply of food.

I think it all ties in to when I was a kid and had to eat so many

things I didn't like and never enough of foods I did like. 

Sohni 

Abigail Wolfson wrote:

 

Sohni,

I can see why you might hoard... your boys can scarf down your

special food without even realizing it, and without leaving any for

you! 

that would make me anxious, too. 

can you buy such a large amount of at least some of these foods

that you know the boys won't eat it all? you know, like a dozen bags of

chips? it may lose it's excitement for them, too, if there's tons of it

around....not that they wont eat if they are hungry, but they'd

probably also eat other things in that situation. maybe you can

stockpile some other snacks that they like that you don't.

the point is for EVERYONE to legalize food. even if they are

thin, ravenous, oblivious teenage boys... in their case, just to make

make un-special your special foods.

i also think it would be ok to have a spot that's just for

you...  but maybe you can make it not a secret? at least tell one other

person about it... maybe your husband? 

i hope some of this might help.

best,

abby

On Fri, Feb 12, 2010 at 9:11 PM, jeanniet58 <jeanniet58gmail>

wrote:

 

Ever since childhood I've been a hoarder/sneaker/possessive

nut about my

binge food. I know that this attitude isn't healthy, because it's

labeling food as some kind of treasure, but it's something that I have

a

really hard time dealing with. So one of my current goals is to be

willing to share food--mostly with my teenage boys, who of course are

like locusts with food--and not become anxious over it. Sometimes it's

working, sometimes not. I'm trying to get it in my head that if I run

out, I can always get more. Just wondering if anyone else has the same

issues with being secretive with food.

Just wanted to add that despite all my food problems, somehow I managed

not to pass that on to my kids and they are pretty normal eaters--for

teenagers, that is. ; ) I'm thankful for that!

Sohni

--

Abigail C. Wolfson, RN, MS, CPNP

LICH School Based Health Center

Brooklyn New School & Brooklyn School for Collaborative Studies

610 Henry Street, Room 209

Brooklyn, NY 11231

(fax)

[Guest guest]

It's very, very habitual with me, so I really have to make a conscious

effort not to do it. The hoarding and hiding is mostly with binges,

but even with just regular food I have the trouble with sharing. I

think being able to share more will help me get into the mindset of

knowing that there's always enough food and that one kind of food isn't

more special than another.

Sohni

J W ELLER wrote:

Thanks, Sohni, for bringing this subject up; I admire your

courage for doing so! I've always been too embarrassed to admit it,

but when I binge, I also horde and hide. Then eat the stash in

secret. Have to admit I'm embarrassed right now to write this

confession. The deceit makes me feel so contemptible, but it would

make me feel even worse if people found out or I was caught. Thank

God, I haven't done this in several months. But you know, I sometimes

wonder if I'll ever really be able to eat baked goods like a normal

person. You know, one is too many and 100 isn't enough!!

Yesterday I finally purged my soul and told my husband

about this problem. I promised that next time when I got the urge I'd

tell him how I was feeling and eat in front of him rather than stuffing

my face in secret.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest!

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

It's very, very habitual with me, so I really have to make a conscious

effort not to do it. The hoarding and hiding is mostly with binges,

but even with just regular food I have the trouble with sharing. I

think being able to share more will help me get into the mindset of

knowing that there's always enough food and that one kind of food isn't

more special than another.

Sohni

J W ELLER wrote:

Thanks, Sohni, for bringing this subject up; I admire your

courage for doing so! I've always been too embarrassed to admit it,

but when I binge, I also horde and hide. Then eat the stash in

secret. Have to admit I'm embarrassed right now to write this

confession. The deceit makes me feel so contemptible, but it would

make me feel even worse if people found out or I was caught. Thank

God, I haven't done this in several months. But you know, I sometimes

wonder if I'll ever really be able to eat baked goods like a normal

person. You know, one is too many and 100 isn't enough!!

Yesterday I finally purged my soul and told my husband

about this problem. I promised that next time when I got the urge I'd

tell him how I was feeling and eat in front of him rather than stuffing

my face in secret.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest!

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

Sohni, good for you! Doesn't it give you such freedom when you make peace with food?

[Guest guest]

I really relate to this. A part of my recovery has been sharing food often.

I've forced myself to offer some of my food to others to prove to myself that

(1) I CAN share and it'll be okay, and that (2) I'm not a selfish/greedy person.

More recently in recovery, I don't think bad of myself if I forget to offer some

of my food, or if I consciously choose mot to - it doesn't hold some negative

meaning over me anymore. And, that, is progress.

--

>

> Ever since childhood I've been a hoarder/sneaker/possessive nut about my

> binge food. I know that this attitude isn't healthy, because it's

> labeling food as some kind of treasure, but it's something that I have a

> really hard time dealing with. So one of my current goals is to be

> willing to share food--mostly with my teenage boys, who of course are

> like locusts with food--and not become anxious over it. Sometimes it's

> working, sometimes not. I'm trying to get it in my head that if I run

> out, I can always get more. Just wondering if anyone else has the same

> issues with being secretive with food.

>

> Just wanted to add that despite all my food problems, somehow I managed

> not to pass that on to my kids and they are pretty normal eaters--for

> teenagers, that is. ; ) I'm thankful for that!

>

> Sohni

>

[Guest guest]

Ha, I wouldn't say I've quite made peace with food yet. Let's say

we're having a tentative cease fire. ; )

Sohni

J W ELLER wrote:

Sohni, good for you! Doesn't it give you such freedom

when you make peace with food?

[Guest guest]

Sohni, I'm 59 years old. And after a 40 plus year fight with this eating/weight stuff, all I can say is this old woman has had enough!!!

Have a good Valentine's Day!

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

It's nice to know that there are other women around my age that are

going through this struggle, it really is. I have visions of being a

70 year old woman binging in secret on candy. Ugh.

Sohni

J W ELLER wrote:

Sohni, I'm 59 years old. And after a 40 plus year fight

with this eating/weight stuff, all I can say is this old woman has had

enough!!!

Have a good Valentine's Day!

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

Last year shortly before I joined the support group and with the big 59 approaching, it hit me that I was REALLY tired of dealing with this junk and don't want to drag this ball and chain with me into the next new decade of my life.

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

I think you're right about how long it may take for IE to feel

natural. Right now I still feel pretty tentative about it. Sometimes

I decide against something and I don't know if I'm not choosing it

because I know it will make me feel bad or if in the back of my mind

the voice says "bad food." Seems like there's a fine line sometimes.

The good news is that I haven't felt really bingy for about a week.

Feel like eating when I'm not hungry, yes, but not bingy. I'm trying

to remind myself that it's OK to see something and think, "Hey, that

looks really good" and know the world won't fall apart if I have some

even if I'm not hungry.

Sohni

sue wrote:

Hi Sohni: I just turned 63 this month. Although I don't have

excess weight problems, I struggled with disordered eating habits for

over 35 years before I finally committed to intuitive eating. Then I

went through all the symptoms and diagnoses for celiac and food

allergies. Those medical restrictions initially made me feel more

deprived, until I discovered allergy free versions of my favorite

foods. However, I still regularly binged (average once a month) until a

year ago, when I realized that I still unnecessarily restricted a few

foods that I considered 'unhealthy', even though I wasn't allergic to

them.

Now I eat anything which is not a diagnosed allergen. I still eat a

fairly 'healthy' diet, because I like lots of different foods (fruits,

vegies, grains, nuts, legumes, meats, fish, poultry, vegan entrees AND,

of course, allergy free sweets). However, I no longer restrict sweets

and substitute 'healthier' foods, if I want sweets. (I made allergy

fudge and frosted valentine cookies to celebrate valentine's day.) If I

notice that I'm overeating or even wanting to binge, I almost always

have unnecessarily (usually unintentionally) restricted a food I like.

I suspect that the longer we have practiced 'disordered' eating habits,

the longer we may need to practice intuitive eating habits before those

feel natural and normal for us.

SUE

> >

> >

> > Sohni, I'm 59 years old. And after a 40 plus year fight with

this

> > eating/weight stuff, all I can say is this old woman has had

enough!!!

> >

> > Have a good Valentine's Day!

> >

> > Jeanne

> >

> >

>