Re: I'm new and this is my story.

November 18, 2010

Hi, Carla,

I don't think there are any "rules" about drinking, beyond having what you want and stopping when you're full. For me, drinking high caloric beverages never really satisfy hunger, at least not like I feel when I've had solid food. So, my body then is still craving more nourishing food and I end up eating more than I really want or need. I also found that the more lattes I drank, the more exhausted I felt at the end of the day. I only found this out by doing an experiment: trying not drinking them, and eating more truly nourishing food, and voila! I felt better. I still drink them sometimes, when I really want them, but mostly for me I think it was a habit, a way of giving myself a sugar and caffeine boost that, unfortunately, just led to a crash later in the day, instead of taking the time to make sure I had truly nourishing food, and some time away from the job to relax and enjoy the food.

I gave up drinking sodas for the same reason...and now I only drink one maybe once a year, if that. I never crave them, and don't even want to have them; I just never even think about it. And I used to have a three-to-four-Cokes-a-day habit. At one point, I was getting fibrous tumors in my breasts from the caffeine. I first cut back for that reason, I think, and that's when I started noticing, huh! I feel better overall. After that, it was easier to choose some other drink, just because I wanted to feel better.

One thing I like to use is just "getting curious" about whether or not eating a slightly different way will help me feel better. Then it's something I want to do, because I'm truly curious, and not something I feel is imposed on me by some "diet." And the power of habit can work against your body's better interests as well as for it, which is liberating to realize: you don't have to spend the rest of your life craving things. In fact, you'll find you want to eat things that make you feel well, and look forward to eating those. It's like magic, but magic that takes some time to develop. At least that's how it has worked for me. Don't get me wrong: I've still got plenty of issues! I'm a work in progress.

Hope this helps!

Laurie

I'm new and this is my story.

>

> Hello everyone,

>

> My name is Carla and this is my first post. Here's a bit about me:

>

November 18, 2010

Carla,First off, I totally " hear " you! I have been there for SO many months and years. So I am not at all dismissing your concerns.But here's the thing: wishing really hard for weight loss, and hating how you look... how has that worked for you so far? has that been an effective strategy in the past?

it look me SO long to figure this out, but i finally realized that putting a lot of negative energy into my appearance didn't help at all! not one single bit!and if you look at our country, we are so obsessed with diets, and our bodies, and how they look... and yet we are one of the fattest developed countries in the world. other countries where people worry a lot less about what they eat, but enjoy their food, they look a lot more like how we want to look!

and what if, hypothetically speaking, LOVING your body, right now, or at the very least, making peace with it now, made you lose weight faster? would you stop hating it then?

i think there is good evidence that making peace with your body makes you much MORE likely to lose weight. especially since it happened for you this way in the past. i'm not saying you should give up your goal of weight loss (though i do think you should give up your scale! you will know if you have lost weight, and if you read the other emails from today, you will see that scales can really mess with people's " process " ), i'm saying you can hope for it while still promising yourself to love you TODAY. geneen roth says that if you don't love yourself today, you won't love yourself any more when you are thin. (and thus will likely gain the weight back, because you will still be looking for that love, and likely will seek it from food.)

i always ask myself, too: at the end of the day, HOW MUCH does it matter what i look like? and here's the deal, it doesn't matter at all. my health, my family, my friends, my work, my ability to do good in the world... these are the things that matter. my appearance is a distraction from doing my best with all these other things.

you are a valuable person no matter what your weight. your weight is as relevant to your worth as your shoe size. in this world, exercise isn't a problem because of your weight... it's a problem only if by not exercising, you are not being fully present in your life. and you know what, exercise will wait until you are ready for it.

i hope this is helpful. best,abby ps if you haven't read Women, Food, and God yet, i highly highly recommend it.

Thanks Abby,

I think in my head I am stuck in that 'weight loss is the end goal' mentality. And I want for it to be so badly. I can't yet part with my scales and have a wedding next year. I feel I need to lose so much weight because I can't stand the thought of myself in photographs. I just came from my sister's wedding and I felt I looked horrific. I want to be in shape and healthy and at a healthy weight. I don't even want to be skinny, I just don't feel like I am at my healthy best. I know exercise is part of the problem - I don't do it at the moment. I work so much I find it hard to hand my free time over to working out.

C

> > >

> > > Hello everyone,

> > >

> > > My name is Carla and this is my first post. Here's a bit about me:

> > >

> >

>

November 19, 2010

Thanks Abby,

This is really good advice. I work in an industry that stresses appearance so it

is so hard to be constantly around beautiful people and hard not to compare!

But everything you say is correct. I need to just take the plunge. Thanks for

the book recommendation. I've only read Intuitive Eating and Why Weight? so far.

Any other suggestions?

Your sentence on exercise was perfect. I think by not exercising it is

preventing me from feeling my best, and that's why I should start.

Cheers,

Carla

> > > > >

> > > > > Hello everyone,

> > > > >

> > > > > My name is Carla and this is my first post. Here's a bit about me:

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

November 19, 2010

OOOOOOOOOOHH!Â Â I like â€œtruly curiousâ€!Â Iâ€™ll use that, too! Thanks! From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of Laurie Haight KeenanSent: Thursday, November 18, 2010 1:57 PMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: Re: I'm new and this is my story. Hi, Carla, I don't think there are any " rules " about drinking, beyond having what you want and stopping when you're full. For me, drinking high caloric beverages never really satisfy hunger, at least not like I feel when I've had solid food. So, my body then is still craving more nourishing food and I end up eating more than I really want or need. I also found that the more lattes I drank, the more exhausted I felt at the end of the day. I only found this out by doing an experiment: trying not drinking them, and eating more truly nourishing food, and voila! I felt better. I still drink them sometimes, when I really want them, but mostly for me I think it was a habit, a way of giving myself a sugar and caffeine boost that, unfortunately, just led to a crash later in the day, instead of taking the time to make sure I had truly nourishing food, and some time away from the job to relax and enjoy the food. I gave up drinking sodas for the same reason...and now I only drink one maybe once a year, if that. I never crave them, and don't even want to have them; I just never even think about it. And I used to have a three-to-four-Cokes-a-day habit. At one point, I was getting fibrous tumors in my breasts from the caffeine. I first cut back for that reason, I think, and that's when I started noticing, huh! I feel better overall. After that, it was easier to choose some other drink, just because I wanted to feel better. One thing I like to use is just " getting curious " about whether or not eating a slightly different way will help me feel better. Then it's something I want to do, because I'm truly curious, and not something I feel is imposed on me by some " diet. " And the power of habit can work against your body's better interests as well as for it, which is liberating to realize: you don't have to spend the rest of your life craving things. In fact, you'll find you want to eat things that make you feel well, and look forward to eating those. It's like magic, but magic that takes some time to develop. At least that's how it has worked for me. Don't get me wrong: I've still got plenty of issues! I'm a work in progress. Hope this helps! Laurie I'm new and this is my story.> > > > > > Hello everyone,> > My name is Carla and this is my first post. Here's a bit about me:>

November 21, 2010

I too used to drink a lot of Starbuck drinks sometimes as many as three or

smoothies from Jamba Juice. When I realized and calculated last year I had

spent $2,000 at coffee shops, this year I reigned myself in. I have a simple

latte machine by Mr. Coffee ($30-$50) and I make my own at home.

As far as the IE part goes, for me, once I really learned to ask and listen to

my body, those drinks don't do anything for me anymore and they are way to

sweet. I do think they were filling an emotional need - usually stress related

- and it was an illusion of calming myself down and making myself feel better.

I know now deep breathing does so much more for me.

But you have to figure it out for yourself and what works for you. I wish you

luck in your journey.

alana

> >

> > Hi, Carla, and welcome to our group. What a great introductory post--and

what a long journey it's been for you, starting as you did back when you were a

child!

> >

> > The challenges you mention are ones I have faced/am facing, too. I used to

drink a lot of calories in lattes--without ever checking the calorie count, so

wasn't even aware that's what I was doing--and it wasn't until I started IE that

I realized they just didn't make me feel all that good afterwards. I had my

first latte last week since April when I started IE in earnest, and I ended up

getting the smallest size and barely being able to finish it. I used to use

those instead of breakfast, telling myself I didn't have time for breakfast (and

frankly I was never hungry in the morning because of how much I'd eaten at

night), but now that I'm actually sitting down and having breakfast, I find the

lattes have minimal appeal. I only used to drink them on the days when I worked

in the office (two days/week), and one of those days my commute buddy still

wants to stop at Starbucks, but I'm never hungry and also want to be able to

enjoy my lunch break (I only eat lunch out on the days I work in the office), so

the lattes just naturally started not sounding as good as they used to. I never

felt like I was " being good " or depriving myself by not ordering one--instead I

just plain didn't want one, even though the easiest thing would have been to go

ahead and get one, because after all, I was there with my commute buddy.

> >

> > Can't say I've got this perfect by a long shot--I still overeat nights after

the long days in the office, unless I can get myself to realize that eating

won't solve how tired I am, and just go to bed with a good book. But there's

even some progress there. I also find, oddly, that I would *rather* do most of

my eating earlier in the day now--I, who balked and could never follow Bob

Greene's so-strict rule of not eating anything after 7:00 or 8:00. Now many

evenings I prefer just have a cup of tea. So strange.

> >

> > I look forward to hearing more from you. Welcome aboard! Lots of good

support here.

> >

> > Laurie

> >

> > I'm new and this is my story.

> >

> > Hello everyone,

> >

> > My name is Carla and this is my first post. Here's a bit about me:

> >

>

November 21, 2010

Thanks Alana,

I'm up to three a day as well and just noticed the toll it's taking on my

wallet. You're right, I am using it to calm down or energize. Thanks for your

advice!

> > >

> > > Hi, Carla, and welcome to our group. What a great introductory post--and

what a long journey it's been for you, starting as you did back when you were a

child!

> > >

> > > The challenges you mention are ones I have faced/am facing, too. I used to