Re: Re: going through nada's stuff

[Guest guest]

,

I think there are many memories and baggage that I have not overcome and

probably won't for many years. It may be that I can stay in her house

because she has lived so many different places and this was just her current

one - so I don't have any childhood or really even that many memories in

this particular house. Her dog is also here, who we will be taking to live

with us. He is a great dog. So, if he weren't here to look after, take for a

run with me and talk to (he has been anxious to say the least that his owner

is gone, but he is calming down and seems to be switching allegiances - he

is super happy when I come back, and started sleeping near my room rather

than in what was her room), I might lose my mind being here all alone. I am

introverted and tend to process things internally or a bit more on my own -

so being here has also given me a bit of space from all of the people - as

there has been a lot of people interaction. I am welcome at my brother's and

I spend at least part of every day at his house with him and his wife and

kids.

Thanks for your kind words.

>

>

> ,

>

> I think it's extraordinary that you feel comfortable staying in your nada's

> house. I think it really shows how you have overcome many of the " memories. "

> (Oh, nadas)

>

> The stories about her keeping files on the notes she'd sent out and hiring

> an FBI agent to investigate you, is yet another example of how BPs spend

> their lives attempting to control every aspect of their children's lives

> because they feel it is their RIGHT and their entitlement. Making copies of

> the notes serve as a backup in case nada had a confrontation with the person

> she sent the note to--she could PROVE that she apologized and did it in a

> " loving " way (which we all know is manipulative). And then they feel this

> control is showing love. You're right, it's really crazy and warped.

>

> Nadas probably try and make sure their children feel guilty after their

> death. I wonder if they wish they could be there to witness all the people

> mourning over them. Every single person is (finally) giving nada their full,

> undivided attention. Maybe in death they get what they truly wanted.

>

> But I would also hope that in death, BPs find peace at last.

>

> , I'm so happy that you and your brother have time together during

> this difficult time. I am glad that you can find comfort in eachother and

> can also do all of the difficult arranging (and digging) as executors

> together. It's possible that you would both sleep better if you were in the

> same house at night. But I can also understand the desire to spend some time

> alone.

>

> Best,

>

> - CVidz,

>

>

>

>