Re: Re: Consequences

[Guest guest]

That's interesting.

Here is my belief/opinion,

Maybe I'm rationalizing things, but I think he can stop things, but chooses not

to in order for us to learn love, compassion, mercy, etc..... I don't think our

man-made version of evil and wrong is the same as God's. I have heard the

saying that you can't know love without hate, peace without war, pain without

healing. And I've always believed that we're on a testing ground of sorts here

on earth. My faith is tested every day. Many times a day sometimes, and I

don't truly understand it, but I have always fallen back on the idea that there

is a God looking out for me. Even when it seems like he just doesn't care.

I've tried to ignore it, shake it, push it away, but I always come back to the

same thing -- that He loves me. And I can't say that's not just wishful

thinking, because it might be, but it gets me through.

Like you, though, I do struggle with understanding why people who do evil are so

prosperous and living what seems to be a better life. However, I also believe

that they have their reward here and I'm storing rewards in heaven. So my

reward for me will be eternal, while theirs is temporary.

Hope that makes sense and doesnt sound nutty, lol. I'm definitely nowhere near

understanding it all. I struggle with this issue a lot myself. Why did God let

some have what seems to be a perfect life and not us? I don't understand. I've

hated God, I've had a lot of one-sided conversations about that in my head. But

at the end of the day, I just have to almost metaphorically lay it all down and

not take it all on myself.

Anyway, I also don't believe my path is the only right way and all others are

wrong. I think we have to all find what's right for us and if what's right for

you is not believing, then I think that's your path and you have to embrace that

-- you know? If someone's path is to be spiritual, christian, muslim, buddhist,

new age...that is okay. It's all about who you are inside that counts.

Hope that made sense, lol.

Re: Consequences

This is probaly why I do not beleive in a higher being, or in Karma or anything

else for that matter.

Epicurus the Greek philosopher made an interesting observation:

" Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?

Then he is not omnipotent.

Is he able, but not willing?

Then he is malevolent.

Is he both able and willing?

Then whence cometh evil?

Is he neither able nor willing?

Then why call him God? "

While I get that many here have actually formed a stronger bond with their

beleif/god or faith. I went the other way. Having been what I've been through -

the absolute hell. To see these abusers go on to live a prosperous life while I

struggled for so long and they happily go on living in their little world happy

as pigs in shit. To see the pain, destruction and suffering in the world.

Completely destroyed any beleif that I would have in a higher power.

I've tried. My abusers are all bible thumpers. The thought of religion takes me

back to where I don't want to go.

>

> I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor

said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there

are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused.

>

> It got me thinking.

>

> I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for

their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them.

>

> Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are

immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . .

>

> I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get

off without suffering any consequences for their behavior.

>

> I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really,

really bothered me, even after 2 years NC.

>

> Thanks,

> Karla

>

[Guest guest]

irene, try not to be too hard on yourself.. these things take time and work i

have found to change in ourselves.. but it can be done.. i wish you luck with

it.. don't give up on yourself, you will find your adventures if you look for

them, one step at a time.

blessings, ann

Subject: Re: Consequences

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Saturday, August 21, 2010, 8:55 AM

 

Ann - It's amazing how the scars/surprises keep appearing even after I

think I have it figured out. Hubby and I went away on a mini vacation for our

37th anniversary. We had a fairly nice time but there were tense moments that

took away some of the sparkle. After coming home, we talked about it.

He loves to explore and poke around. I tend to hold back. That takes the fun out

of it for him because he wants to see the nooks and crannies of the old city and

he practically has to drag me along. I'm always afraid that we'll get in trouble

or someone will say something to us and be mad. Then I realized, that's exactly

how I felt growing up - always afraid of nada or anyone else getting mad at me.

I was afraid to answer questions in class in case I got it wrong and the teacher

might get mad or disappointed in me. I always go in the " Enter " door at a store

so I don't get yelled at (like anyone cares). For years I was even afraid to pet

someone's animal in case the animal got mad at me. That's just sick. Even now at

my age, I worry and that has to stop. Imagine all the fun things I've missed

because I wouldn't stray off the main path.

>

> yes, irene, i agree completely.. bp does affect us in our internal selves, our

very souls i might say.. the memories of scars just newly realized and felt

haunt me nearly every day.. they affect my attitudes, behaviors, relationships,

with myself and others.. i could go on and on.  things others can do for

themselves and take for granted take real hard work for me to achieve.. and lots

of help like we offer each other here.

> and when i think of my nada and the phony,empty martyred life she lead with

the guilty conscience of the way she traumatized me, the most beloved person in

her life.. i would be sad if i weren't still so angry and even bitter sometimes.

  the wheels of justice grind very slowly but exceedingly fine i think the

saying goes.. and the same is true for bpd i believe. to me there is a God in

heaven who really does care about us, hard as that is to believe at times and

who grieves with us over the pain we all have endured.  thanks again for

sharing your thots.ann 

>