Re: Re: Looking for Feedback on Letter to Nada

[Guest guest]

From experience I wouldn't send that letter. She's going to either twist your

words or give you either no response or the opposite of what you're looking for.

My nada has said a lot of those similar things to me. I am a twin and he came

out first after he arrived my nada learned there was a second baby she said she

hoped.it was a girl but if she would have known I would be the way I am she

would of rather me not be born.

It hurts to hear you say your nada has said similar things to you. I couldn't

imagine ever saying that to anyone. I'm sure you are a strong left handed woman

(lol) and a great mom! Keep moving forward and try not looking back. Write all

you want get it out but don't share those open wounds that she created with her

it will just give her satisfaction.

Hang in there,

>Oh honey, please don't send that letter! I normally steer clear from telling

people what to do on this site, but that is a really, really, really bad idea.

>

>This letter was painful for me to read. It must be very painful for you to

have those feelings. The thing I don't like about you sending her that letter,

is it REALLY is putting YOU down. It puts you in a one-down position, which you

DO NOT DESERVE TO BE IN.

>

>It is OKAY to be left handed! It is OKAY to be a girl! Wetting your bed was

probably a sign of huge emotional distress and is NOTHING to be ashamed of! And

you are NOT incompetent.

>

>You may have been saying those things in jest, but I just think it would

possibly be too satisfying for her to read. This letter is coming from a place

of a very, very wounded child. And that is OKAY too! I just feel like you need

to PROTECT that wounded child from her. Don't reveal her hurt feelings to a

freaking cobra, you know what I mean? Reveal them to someone safe, like us or a

therapist.

>

>At least just promise you'll sit on it for a week? Maybe you will change your

mind by then.

>

>But keep writing if you need to; just rethink the sending part. And sorry

about all the yelling! ;-)

>

>Deanna

>

>

>

>

>

>>

>> Hello,

>>

>> After my recent experience with nada rubbing my face in the fact that she's

hoovering my sons into her corner, I've decided to write her the following

letter. Mostly I'm doing it to validate her feelings and behaviors towards me

and by doing so I'm hoping to take away the power and reward she's been feeling.

I'm hoping that by seeming to give her my blessing upon her behavior will

cheapen the thrill for her.

>>

>> Feedback prior to mailing this is most welcome. Thanks. Here's the letter:

>>

>>

>>

>> Dear Mother,

>>

>> I know your dreams were to have a son who would appreciate you, make you

increasingly proud by exceeding all of your expectations and cause you to feel

grateful to be a mother.

>>

>> I know those dreams were destroyed when you gave birth to a left-handed

bedwetting daughter who's been nothing but a huge disappointment to you from the

start, who's never done anything right, who's never come close to meeting your

expectations. You told me many times you wished you were never born, but I know

deep down you were really saying you wished I was never born because I've done

nothing but make your life miserable. I'm sorry that I'm incompetent and

incapable of ever being the child you wanted or needed. I've finally accepted

the fact that I'll never measure up.

>>

>> It appears my sons have succeeded in doing something which I've never been

able to - bring out the best in you. May your grandsons and great-grandson

fulfill all of your long-awaited dreams and expectations, making you proud and

happy to be alive.

>>

>>

>>

>>

>

>

[Guest guest]

From experience I wouldn't send that letter. She's going to either twist your

words or give you either no response or the opposite of what you're looking for.

My nada has said a lot of those similar things to me. I am a twin and he came

out first after he arrived my nada learned there was a second baby she said she

hoped.it was a girl but if she would have known I would be the way I am she

would of rather me not be born.

It hurts to hear you say your nada has said similar things to you. I couldn't

imagine ever saying that to anyone. I'm sure you are a strong left handed woman

(lol) and a great mom! Keep moving forward and try not looking back. Write all

you want get it out but don't share those open wounds that she created with her

it will just give her satisfaction.

Hang in there,

>Oh honey, please don't send that letter! I normally steer clear from telling

people what to do on this site, but that is a really, really, really bad idea.

>

>This letter was painful for me to read. It must be very painful for you to

have those feelings. The thing I don't like about you sending her that letter,

is it REALLY is putting YOU down. It puts you in a one-down position, which you

DO NOT DESERVE TO BE IN.

>

>It is OKAY to be left handed! It is OKAY to be a girl! Wetting your bed was

probably a sign of huge emotional distress and is NOTHING to be ashamed of! And

you are NOT incompetent.

>

>You may have been saying those things in jest, but I just think it would

possibly be too satisfying for her to read. This letter is coming from a place

of a very, very wounded child. And that is OKAY too! I just feel like you need

to PROTECT that wounded child from her. Don't reveal her hurt feelings to a

freaking cobra, you know what I mean? Reveal them to someone safe, like us or a

therapist.

>

>At least just promise you'll sit on it for a week? Maybe you will change your

mind by then.

>

>But keep writing if you need to; just rethink the sending part. And sorry

about all the yelling! ;-)

>

>Deanna

>

>

>

>

>

>>

>> Hello,

>>

>> After my recent experience with nada rubbing my face in the fact that she's

hoovering my sons into her corner, I've decided to write her the following

letter. Mostly I'm doing it to validate her feelings and behaviors towards me

and by doing so I'm hoping to take away the power and reward she's been feeling.

I'm hoping that by seeming to give her my blessing upon her behavior will

cheapen the thrill for her.

>>

>> Feedback prior to mailing this is most welcome. Thanks. Here's the letter:

>>

>>

>>

>> Dear Mother,

>>

>> I know your dreams were to have a son who would appreciate you, make you

increasingly proud by exceeding all of your expectations and cause you to feel

grateful to be a mother.

>>

>> I know those dreams were destroyed when you gave birth to a left-handed

bedwetting daughter who's been nothing but a huge disappointment to you from the

start, who's never done anything right, who's never come close to meeting your

expectations. You told me many times you wished you were never born, but I know

deep down you were really saying you wished I was never born because I've done

nothing but make your life miserable. I'm sorry that I'm incompetent and

incapable of ever being the child you wanted or needed. I've finally accepted

the fact that I'll never measure up.

>>

>> It appears my sons have succeeded in doing something which I've never been

able to - bring out the best in you. May your grandsons and great-grandson

fulfill all of your long-awaited dreams and expectations, making you proud and

happy to be alive.

>>

>>

>>

>>

>

>

[Guest guest]

From experience I wouldn't send that letter. She's going to either twist your

words or give you either no response or the opposite of what you're looking for.

My nada has said a lot of those similar things to me. I am a twin and he came

out first after he arrived my nada learned there was a second baby she said she

hoped.it was a girl but if she would have known I would be the way I am she

would of rather me not be born.

It hurts to hear you say your nada has said similar things to you. I couldn't

imagine ever saying that to anyone. I'm sure you are a strong left handed woman

(lol) and a great mom! Keep moving forward and try not looking back. Write all

you want get it out but don't share those open wounds that she created with her

it will just give her satisfaction.

Hang in there,

>Oh honey, please don't send that letter! I normally steer clear from telling

people what to do on this site, but that is a really, really, really bad idea.

>

>This letter was painful for me to read. It must be very painful for you to

have those feelings. The thing I don't like about you sending her that letter,

is it REALLY is putting YOU down. It puts you in a one-down position, which you

DO NOT DESERVE TO BE IN.

>

>It is OKAY to be left handed! It is OKAY to be a girl! Wetting your bed was

probably a sign of huge emotional distress and is NOTHING to be ashamed of! And

you are NOT incompetent.

>

>You may have been saying those things in jest, but I just think it would

possibly be too satisfying for her to read. This letter is coming from a place

of a very, very wounded child. And that is OKAY too! I just feel like you need

to PROTECT that wounded child from her. Don't reveal her hurt feelings to a

freaking cobra, you know what I mean? Reveal them to someone safe, like us or a

therapist.

>

>At least just promise you'll sit on it for a week? Maybe you will change your

mind by then.

>

>But keep writing if you need to; just rethink the sending part. And sorry

about all the yelling! ;-)

>

>Deanna

>

>

>

>

>

>>

>> Hello,

>>

>> After my recent experience with nada rubbing my face in the fact that she's

hoovering my sons into her corner, I've decided to write her the following

letter. Mostly I'm doing it to validate her feelings and behaviors towards me

and by doing so I'm hoping to take away the power and reward she's been feeling.

I'm hoping that by seeming to give her my blessing upon her behavior will

cheapen the thrill for her.

>>

>> Feedback prior to mailing this is most welcome. Thanks. Here's the letter:

>>

>>

>>

>> Dear Mother,

>>

>> I know your dreams were to have a son who would appreciate you, make you

increasingly proud by exceeding all of your expectations and cause you to feel

grateful to be a mother.

>>

>> I know those dreams were destroyed when you gave birth to a left-handed

bedwetting daughter who's been nothing but a huge disappointment to you from the

start, who's never done anything right, who's never come close to meeting your

expectations. You told me many times you wished you were never born, but I know

deep down you were really saying you wished I was never born because I've done

nothing but make your life miserable. I'm sorry that I'm incompetent and

incapable of ever being the child you wanted or needed. I've finally accepted

the fact that I'll never measure up.

>>

>> It appears my sons have succeeded in doing something which I've never been

able to - bring out the best in you. May your grandsons and great-grandson

fulfill all of your long-awaited dreams and expectations, making you proud and

happy to be alive.

>>

>>

>>

>>

>

>