Guest guest Posted August 26, 2010 Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 Annie, I LOVE your new designation for Cluster B disorders!! I am laughing out loud on that one. Definitely right on the money, Girl! Jan > > I wish I could picture my mother as just a rather tall little girl and let her behaviors just roll off me and not affect me, but my mother is just so damned *mean.* She actually wants to hurt me; she goes out of her way to hurt me. She actually feels justified in saying ugly, critical, denigrating, insulting things to me. I would go so far as to say *meanness*, the desire to hurt another, is the defining trait underlying all my mother's negative behaviors. > > If that's a child's behavior, then that is one spoiled, mean, hateful child who was never given boundaries, who was never given consequences for breaking boundaries or for hurting other people, a child who never developed even a rudimentary sense of empathy, and who simply doesn't care if she's hurting someone else as long as she is getting her own way: being the center of attention and being catered to. > > Its just... I just don't want to be around that any more. I feel like I've put in enough decades trying to please her and getting raked over the coals instead for not being good enough. I'm just tired of it. I'm topped off. > > In a fit of pique once, and indulging in " black " or " gallows " humor, I suggested that the combination of several Cluster B disorders (like my nada has) be renamed " SAD " , which would stand for " Sadistic Asshole Disorder " . Who knows, the DSM gets revised every few years. Maybe they'll like the idea of a name for the combo of bpd/npd/hpd/aspd. > > -Annie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 27, 2010 Report Share Posted August 27, 2010 > All I can say is that the executive (rational, thinking part) of my nada's brain must not have been working for a long time, if she couldn't figure out that if you kick a dog hard enough and often enough, eventually the dog won't come to you when you call it even if you feed the poor damned thing every day. The pain of the mistreatment will eventually outweigh the benefits, and the dog's survival instinct will kick in and it will try to escape if it can. Annie, I think what nadas are shooting for is creating " learned helplessness " . You know those awful experiments where a dog is shocked and can't escape because they trap it, and then one day the experimenters have the door open, but it just lies there and lets itself gets shocked. That's what they want. If a kid is broken thoroughly enough they never ever are free no matter what age they are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 27, 2010 Report Share Posted August 27, 2010 That's true; those experiments in " learned helplessness " showed that if a living creature is tormented under conditions in which it learns (after endlessly repeated sessions of physical torture) that there is no escape, the creature becomes limp and passive and just endures the torture. The creature has been psychologically " broken. " Pretty horrific, pretty monstrous, to subject one's own child to treatment that will break the child's mind and will in such a way. And how easy: a child, the very definition of " helpless " and " dependent " , comes into this world pre-programmed to abjectly trust her mother. So if mommy calls her little child vile names and smacks her around, terrifies her, and says something like " You make me do this because you are very bad but I love you anyway " , or rejects and neglects her child, saying something like, " You don't deserve any attention or care, you are worthless " , or cries and clings to the child (parentifies the child) and says something like, " Its your job to take care of mommy; if you leave mommy you will kill her " (or some such thing) the child has no way of objectively evaluating or judging that she's being subjected to physical and psychological torture. Its just so sad that at the current time and in the forseeable future there is simply no system in place with the objective and authority to evaluate whether a person is mentally healthy, competent and responsible enough to be allowed to raise kids. Its just not possible to have something like that in place and have personal freedom too. Its an unresolvable dilemma, I guess. -Annie > > > All I can say is that the executive (rational, thinking part) of my nada's brain must not have been working for a long time, if she couldn't figure out that if you kick a dog hard enough and often enough, eventually the dog won't come to you when you call it even if you feed the poor damned thing every day. The pain of the mistreatment will eventually outweigh the benefits, and the dog's survival instinct will kick in and it will try to escape if it can. > > Annie, I think what nadas are shooting for is creating " learned helplessness " . You know those awful experiments where a dog is shocked and can't escape because they trap it, and then one day the experimenters have the door open, but it just lies there and lets itself gets shocked. That's what they want. If a kid is broken thoroughly enough they never ever are free no matter what age they are. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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