Guest guest Posted September 18, 2010 Report Share Posted September 18, 2010 On the thread about hoarding, Girlscout Cowboy ( what a mental image!) wrote: YES YES YES on the hoarding. And treating THINGS like they were more important than your children. That got me thinking, GSC. That was the key , wasn't it? We were never the most important thing. Things, other people, her own wishes, her own pathologies, all of these things were ahead of us. We grew up knowing that we were never the most important thing. It is not that we are broken or unworthy, but Nada s brokenness instilled that message in us. Something will always be ahead of you. Sad, sad , sad message. It is one we carry throughout our lives. You are less important than something. You don t count, you dont rate. And we believe it, Oh how we believe it! At least part of the journey toward healing is rejecting that message. It s hard. It is the work of a lifetime. But maybe, just maybe, it is possible. It s worth a try though. May we all heal. Doug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 18, 2010 Report Share Posted September 18, 2010 Ha ha ha, yep I'm a Girlscout Cowboy - those are actually my dog's names, but I'm sure I picked them for a reason. And its the dumbest alias ever, because the only people I need to remain anonymous from know my damn dog's names - so they would be able to spot me a million miles away. i guess I didn't think of that when I created the account. yes, I agree, we were less important than so many things. My nada had a nasty little dog that did whatever she wanted - and the dog was loved a million times more than me. . . oh well. . . XOXOXO, we are more important! Let's take it back! > > > On the thread about hoarding, Girlscout Cowboy ( what a mental image!) > wrote: > > YES YES YES on the hoarding. And treating THINGS like they were more > important than your children. > > That got me thinking, GSC. That was the key , wasn't it? We were never > the most important thing. Things, other people, her own wishes, her own > pathologies, all of these things were ahead of us. We grew up knowing > that we were never the most important thing. It is not that we are > broken or unworthy, but Nada s brokenness instilled that message in us. > > Something will always be ahead of you. Sad, sad , sad message. It is > one we carry throughout our lives. You are less important than > something. You don t count, you dont rate. And we believe it, Oh how > we believe it! > > At least part of the journey toward healing is rejecting that message. > It s hard. It is the work of a lifetime. > > But maybe, just maybe, it is possible. > > It s worth a try though. > > May we all heal. > > Doug > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 18, 2010 Report Share Posted September 18, 2010 CHARGE! OORAH! SEMPER FI! GARRY OWEN! We ll have to take it by force. > > > > YES YES YES on the hoarding. And treating THINGS like they were more > > important than your children. > > > > That got me thinking, GSC. That was the key , wasn't it? We were never > > the most important thing. Things, other people, her own wishes, her own > > pathologies, all of these things were ahead of us. We grew up knowing > > that we were never the most important thing. It is not that we are > > broken or unworthy, but Nada s brokenness instilled that message in us. > > > > Something will always be ahead of you. Sad, sad , sad message. It is > > one we carry throughout our lives. You are less important than > > something. You don t count, you dont rate. And we believe it, Oh how > > we believe it! > > > > At least part of the journey toward healing is rejecting that message. > > It s hard. It is the work of a lifetime. > > > > But maybe, just maybe, it is possible. > > > > It s worth a try though. > > > > May we all heal. > > > > Doug > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2010 Report Share Posted September 19, 2010 I am more convinced than ever that these folks are stuck at a developmental stage of 2 or 3. My nephew is 2 and a half and he will listen to every conversation, he will be playing quietly and as soon as anyone present says the word 'my' or 'mine' he will shout, " No, MINE! " or 'no MY ______(fill in the blank). It's like he may not comprehend the conversation but he completely understands possession and everything in the world is his or belongs to him. For a toddler that is not pathological but for an adult it is completely dysfunctional. Watching the show hoarders it does seem common that there can be an 'inciting event' where the person can relapse into hoarding, I wonder if the stress makes them regress back to the toddler phase (not bpd people but just the ones who are straight hoarders) where the unresolved trauma is. > > YES YES YES on the hoarding. And treating THINGS like they were more > important than your children. > > That got me thinking, GSC. That was the key , wasn't it? We were never > the most important thing. Things, other people, her own wishes, her own > pathologies, all of these things were ahead of us. We grew up knowing > that we were never the most important thing. It is not that we are > broken or unworthy, but Nada s brokenness instilled that message in us. > > Something will always be ahead of you. Sad, sad , sad message. It is > one we carry throughout our lives. You are less important than > something. You don t count, you dont rate. And we believe it, Oh how > we believe it! > > At least part of the journey toward healing is rejecting that message. > It s hard. It is the work of a lifetime. > > But maybe, just maybe, it is possible. > > It s worth a try though. > > May we all heal. > > Doug > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2010 Report Share Posted September 19, 2010 I am more convinced than ever that these folks are stuck at a developmental stage of 2 or 3. My nephew is 2 and a half and he will listen to every conversation, he will be playing quietly and as soon as anyone present says the word 'my' or 'mine' he will shout, " No, MINE! " or 'no MY ______(fill in the blank). It's like he may not comprehend the conversation but he completely understands possession and everything in the world is his or belongs to him. For a toddler that is not pathological but for an adult it is completely dysfunctional. Watching the show hoarders it does seem common that there can be an 'inciting event' where the person can relapse into hoarding, I wonder if the stress makes them regress back to the toddler phase (not bpd people but just the ones who are straight hoarders) where the unresolved trauma is. > > YES YES YES on the hoarding. And treating THINGS like they were more > important than your children. > > That got me thinking, GSC. That was the key , wasn't it? We were never > the most important thing. Things, other people, her own wishes, her own > pathologies, all of these things were ahead of us. We grew up knowing > that we were never the most important thing. It is not that we are > broken or unworthy, but Nada s brokenness instilled that message in us. > > Something will always be ahead of you. Sad, sad , sad message. It is > one we carry throughout our lives. You are less important than > something. You don t count, you dont rate. And we believe it, Oh how > we believe it! > > At least part of the journey toward healing is rejecting that message. > It s hard. It is the work of a lifetime. > > But maybe, just maybe, it is possible. > > It s worth a try though. > > May we all heal. > > Doug > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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