Re: Re: Friendships are so difficult for me.

[Guest guest]

sounds like 'all work' and 'no play' .. i am sad for you linda. i recommend a

good massage but then when would you find the time?ann

Subject: Re: Friendships are so difficult for me.

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Thursday, August 26, 2010, 6:50 PM

 

I also have problems making friends, but for me the issue is different. I

just wasn't well socialized as a child. I acted " weird " which made me the

scapegoat for other kids. Actually, the whole school and the whole neighborhood

is more like it. If you have ever spent your ENTIRE day at school being ignored

or made fun of by everybody else in the classroom and then spent the entire

busroad home being yelled at, laughed at, made fun of, poked at, picked at, and

gum thrown in your hair (with the bus driver doing nothing), you have some idea

where I was at.

This didn't stop until my dad died in a plane crash when I was 12 and it made

the news and the papers. By then, I just didn't know how to enjoy other people

anymore. I don't know how to talk to people or how to have fun with people. I

don't know what people talk about or how to make friends. If there's some

shared job to be done or some strong shared interest, I can do OK because I have

some faint clue WHAT TO DO, but otherwise, forget it. I'm uncomfortable around

people and I just don't have a clue what other people enjoy about it anymore. I

vaguely remember being an outgoing child when I was, like, 4, but that was

almost 40 years ago.

I'm sure it doesn't help that my life now is nothing but struggling to work at

my job, work at the gym, work at a healthy diet, work at keeping up the

housecleaning, and work at keeping two elderly handicapped mentally ill

relatives going in two separate homes with bills paid, doctor visits taken care

of, meds purchased, supplies, etc. I'm sure most people can make small talk

about TV, movies, books they've read, etc. I can't because I do not have time.

All I do is work.

come to think of it, even if I did have friends, I wouldn't have time for them,

so what the hell?

--.

[Guest guest]

Wow, I know exactly how this is. I was the social outcast growing up. I

had no idea how to talk to others. I was teased and outed in school. The

" friends " I did have I came to realize just felt sorry for me and were

tolerating me. All through life I have never been able to make friends. If

I behave as myself I annoy others (I get so over excited when someone is

nice to I talk a mile a minute and just come off as creepy) and if I

purposely attempt to be more acceptable I come off as fake.

I have one good friend from childhood. She now knows my history with nada

but it was a gradual process one piece at a time to reveal it to her. I

have found the same with most others-if I say anything " bad " about nada they

either think I am horrible or overreacting.