Re: Jumping from the frying pan into the fire

[Guest guest]

Oh yes, I think that growing up as a KO it sets us up to fall into these kind of

things. Twice now in my life " cults " have almost sucked me in and my initial

interest in them was based around trying to get healing and freedom from my

upbringing. One time at college a " Moony " literally jumped out from behind a

bush as I was walking down the sidewalk and tried to recruit me. I'm not even

counting that one! The two I mentioned I only got peripherally involved and

thanks to the internet discovered I was in trouble and backed out in time.

Unfortunately the internet didn't save me from getting involved with the wrong

individual people who would replicate the environment I grew up in. As KO's I

think there's a set up: first we've been exposed to so much craziness that the

initial warning signs of a dysfunctional group or individual don't scare us off.

That gives us the label of a " good prospect " in their minds and they begin to

pursue. Also we've got needs for healing and validation that can lead us to

being manipulated by nasty types. A person who doesn't have primal wounds

doesn't have the same level of hooks a manipulator can pull on. So I think

KO's must be very very very careful.

I'm sorry you went through such awful experiences and glad you got out and found

support groups for ex-members. It took a ton of strength to break out of that

after you were all the way into it - I hope you give yourself credit for that

every day. All we can do is live and learn in the end.

>

> warning - this post contains my opinions on a certain religious group. They

are simply my opinions and I am not trying to slander/offend/etc.

>

> Since coming onto this website a lot of things that Ive done in my life make

more sense. Ive always been fiercely protective of myself and tried to be very

independant, but I can see a lot of the choices Ive made may have been as a

result of the damage my mother did to me growing up. Til now I hadnt considered

that to be the case, Ive alsways thought that I did a good job of " not having

baggage " .

>

> When I left school I moved to the city to go to university. My boyfriend at

the time was a Scientolgist and before long I was too. The church convinced me

to drop out of uni and work for them - saying that they could fix my mother and

the upset she causes me. For the next 3 years I worked for free, lived below the

poverty line, put up with verbal abuse (called an SRA in the church - a " severe

reality adjustment " - basically being screamed at for up to several hours), and

my husband became violent when I was pregnant - with the permission of church

leaders. I hated the fact that my mother may have been right - these people were

not good to be around, so I think I put up with it for a lot longer than I

wanted to. I ended up having to pack a bag and disappear, staying at friends

places as members of the church tried to " recover " me. They stalked me for the

next 7 years, and I was terrified of what they would do to get me back in, until

I started reading a forum for ex-members and began to get a grip on what Id

actually been through and how they made me so scared. They scared me more than

my mother. Now I see how I put myself in a very similar position to how I had

been with my mother.

>

> Im not saying its my mothers fault that I was so stupid. My own decisions have

always been my responsibility. But why couldnt I see these people for what they

were - conmen? I SAW them taking people's life-savings, I SAW them taking

advantage of the elderly, I saw it all and still thought it was for the " greater

good " for too long. I find it hard to understand how I was so stupid.

>

> Now I can see that in desperation to try to understand why my mother was so

horrid, and wanting to belong to a group of people that understood me and seemed

to have all the answers, made me susceptable to influence if they said the right

things. Made me easy to brainwash. I just thought I was making my own decisions

and being independant.

>

> Has anyone else tried to get out of the circle of influence of their nada,

only to fall into a similar relationship/group? Its only now that Im starting to

join the dots.... Its freaking me out a little.

>

[Guest guest]

Oh yes, I think that growing up as a KO it sets us up to fall into these kind of

things. Twice now in my life " cults " have almost sucked me in and my initial

interest in them was based around trying to get healing and freedom from my

upbringing. One time at college a " Moony " literally jumped out from behind a

bush as I was walking down the sidewalk and tried to recruit me. I'm not even

counting that one! The two I mentioned I only got peripherally involved and

thanks to the internet discovered I was in trouble and backed out in time.

Unfortunately the internet didn't save me from getting involved with the wrong

individual people who would replicate the environment I grew up in. As KO's I

think there's a set up: first we've been exposed to so much craziness that the

initial warning signs of a dysfunctional group or individual don't scare us off.

That gives us the label of a " good prospect " in their minds and they begin to

pursue. Also we've got needs for healing and validation that can lead us to

being manipulated by nasty types. A person who doesn't have primal wounds

doesn't have the same level of hooks a manipulator can pull on. So I think

KO's must be very very very careful.

I'm sorry you went through such awful experiences and glad you got out and found

support groups for ex-members. It took a ton of strength to break out of that

after you were all the way into it - I hope you give yourself credit for that

every day. All we can do is live and learn in the end.

>

> warning - this post contains my opinions on a certain religious group. They

are simply my opinions and I am not trying to slander/offend/etc.

>

> Since coming onto this website a lot of things that Ive done in my life make

more sense. Ive always been fiercely protective of myself and tried to be very

independant, but I can see a lot of the choices Ive made may have been as a

result of the damage my mother did to me growing up. Til now I hadnt considered

that to be the case, Ive alsways thought that I did a good job of " not having

baggage " .

>

> When I left school I moved to the city to go to university. My boyfriend at

the time was a Scientolgist and before long I was too. The church convinced me

to drop out of uni and work for them - saying that they could fix my mother and

the upset she causes me. For the next 3 years I worked for free, lived below the

poverty line, put up with verbal abuse (called an SRA in the church - a " severe

reality adjustment " - basically being screamed at for up to several hours), and

my husband became violent when I was pregnant - with the permission of church

leaders. I hated the fact that my mother may have been right - these people were

not good to be around, so I think I put up with it for a lot longer than I

wanted to. I ended up having to pack a bag and disappear, staying at friends

places as members of the church tried to " recover " me. They stalked me for the

next 7 years, and I was terrified of what they would do to get me back in, until

I started reading a forum for ex-members and began to get a grip on what Id

actually been through and how they made me so scared. They scared me more than

my mother. Now I see how I put myself in a very similar position to how I had

been with my mother.

>

> Im not saying its my mothers fault that I was so stupid. My own decisions have

always been my responsibility. But why couldnt I see these people for what they

were - conmen? I SAW them taking people's life-savings, I SAW them taking

advantage of the elderly, I saw it all and still thought it was for the " greater

good " for too long. I find it hard to understand how I was so stupid.

>

> Now I can see that in desperation to try to understand why my mother was so

horrid, and wanting to belong to a group of people that understood me and seemed

to have all the answers, made me susceptable to influence if they said the right

things. Made me easy to brainwash. I just thought I was making my own decisions

and being independant.

>

> Has anyone else tried to get out of the circle of influence of their nada,

only to fall into a similar relationship/group? Its only now that Im starting to

join the dots.... Its freaking me out a little.

>

[Guest guest]

I did something similar but not nearly to that degree. When I realized I

needed out of nada's house I took a job with a company that was like a giant

FOO. Every day at work, which was 6-7 days a week, it was the black and

white thinking, verbal abuse, and crazyness from management.

[Guest guest]

I did something similar but not nearly to that degree. When I realized I

needed out of nada's house I took a job with a company that was like a giant

FOO. Every day at work, which was 6-7 days a week, it was the black and

white thinking, verbal abuse, and crazyness from management.

[Guest guest]

I did something similar but not nearly to that degree. When I realized I

needed out of nada's house I took a job with a company that was like a giant

FOO. Every day at work, which was 6-7 days a week, it was the black and

white thinking, verbal abuse, and crazyness from management.