talking yourself down off of the ledge

[Guest guest]

I would like to hear people's self-talk when they are pulling themselves back

from the ledge of being hoovered back in. I keep making the same mistake over

and over, I can't even afford to have conversations with either parent because

they are so stressed and so both are acting out of their own personality

disorders even more than usual.

Is there one particularly bad example that you remind yourself of that keeps you

from being hoovered? or do you have a meditation or mantra that keeps you sane

when you are contacted by them in some way whether mail or text or phone call?

or if you are NC what are the things you say to yourself in your head to keep

you from taking a flying leap back into insanity. Does anyone do mental ward

scrapbooks? I am thinking about doing this, a visual aid of what my crazy

moments have been like in order to have something to 'look at' when I am getting

weak. I can only have small talk with them right now, everything else is just a

free fall into psych ops. I started smoking again a couple days ago.

The worst thing is that my martyr waif nada keeps wanting to dump her garbage on

me. I can't take it. The theme song to her life would be 'gloom, despair, and

agony on me, deep dark depression, excessive misery...etc'. She honest to go

thinks that I don't have problems of my own apparently, plus I'm here all day

with the kids so I see alot more of the bad situation than she does. Plus I am

in school full time. I have already had to drop 2 classes because of this, and

every time I go around them, she starts her whining, which literally makes me

want to ring her neck because it's such a violation to me that she thinks that

she is the only one being affected emotionally by this situation. She has done

this to me all her life, and I literally want to backhand her every time she

starts whining right now. Because I am the only one confronting and getting info

about this situation and talking to outside authorities (about my nephews). She

just enables and whines, and then when I tell her to stop enabling and whining,

she plays the victim even more.

I know that most people here are LC or NC but in those weak moments, what goes

through your head? It can be a specfic situation where the light bulb just went

on and you got clarity, or it can be a medidation or quote or mantra. I need all

the help I can get, I would appreciate any 'reinforcing' admonishments about

being as LC as possible.