Guest guest Posted September 1, 2010 Report Share Posted September 1, 2010 When us kids do happen to get together, we do the usual " have you talked to mum lately? " and compare stories of what she has done/said lately. If we are in a good enough mood, we might compare things that we can laugh about. It takes some effort at times, but I think it is good for us, and brings us a little closer together. Truely, the things she does can be comical at times. Once I went with mum to a picture framers. She fancied herself to be a great artist, and she was pretty good in her early days. She wanted a picture framed, and while we were talking to the elderly framer he asked how to pronounce our last name. Her current husband is of Dutch descent, and Mum did her thing where she half closes her eyes, puffs out her chest, lifts her chin and declares in a superior voice " it is pronounced RRRRRR-OUT-men! Its Dutch! " . The guy smiled, and asked if she could speak Dutch. Mum replied " but of course " . Now, my mother cant speak a damn word. Neither can her husband. At this point Im standing there with one eyebrow up, wondering what on earth possessed her to say such a thing. The framer smiled even wider and began rattling on to her in Dutch! There is nothing as wonderful in the world than the look of dismay and " oh crap, what do I do now? " that crossed her face. I had to control myself not to fall on the floor weeing myself with laughter while she stammered and stuttered through some excuse about not having practised for ages. It was gold. Needless to say, she packed up her pictures and stalked out of the store, furious. We lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere when I was a kid. Mum was apparently hanging washing out while us kids were at school, on a line behind the shed, 300m from the house, in her undies. Suddenly a car pulls up and people get out. Mum panics (reputation is huge to her) and runs behind the shed. As they walk around the shed to the house, she walks the other way so they cant see her. She didnt realise that the walls of the shed are elevated - there is a large gap between the walls and the floor - the people heard her footsteps, looked under the walls and saw there was someone on the other side of the shed. So they walked faster, chasing her around and around the shed. Mum would have been FRANTIC!!! How DARE anyone see her in her underwear! She would never live it down!!! Anyway, they got sick of chasing and left, and Mum scampered into the house and it took days for her to get over it. I still get the giggles when I think about it - for her that would have been an ultimate embaressment. I think being able to laugh about irrational behaviour is a good thing. Often when us kids are together it stops us from getting into a morbid " mum screwed us up " conversation, which ends is us all getting mad. There is a time and a place for laughing at the stupidness of it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2010 Report Share Posted September 1, 2010 Ha ha, okay the fuck you part did make me laugh. Really hard. Loudly. Welcome to the FREAK SHOW! (that's what I always tell myself) > > > there is a big fight I always laugh about. it's not funny at all and I > still have a scar but to me it is the perfect illustration of my family. > > I cut my finger opening a can (i.e. the scar I still have) and went to ask > nada for bandaids. She screams at me 'how can you be so stupid to cut your > finger on a can opener' blah blah blah. Up to that point I'd been brave but > then i started bawling, my brother jumped in and started chiding me about > 'crying like a baby', then my father was sitting there and told me to put a > bandaid on it (not at all out of concern, just annoyance) and when I said we > didn't have any, he seized on the opportunity to start an argument since he > and my mother were fighting by yelling at the top of his lungs, " what kind > of mother wouldn't have any bandaids in a house full of children " and they > were off to the races in another argument. Meanwhile I'm standing at the > sink bleeding everywhere...I remember my hand shaking and stuff. I don't > know why but every time I think about him starting with 'what kind of > mother...' I just burst out laughing. it wasn't funny then, but it's so d*mn > typical of the emotionally charged insanity I lived in every day of my life. > I think I was around 8 or 10 when that happened. > > another time I remember is when nada and fada were having their almost > daily fights about money and nada was begging fada to pay the bills and fada > finally relented and wrote out all the checks, but he wrote " f*ck you " in > the memo section of every one of the checks. apparently that was their last > checkbook so nada was forced to send the checks out like that. > > sigh... > > > > > > > When us kids do happen to get together, we do the usual " have you talked > to mum lately? " and compare stories of what she has done/said lately. If we > are in a good enough mood, we might compare things that we can laugh about. > It takes some effort at times, but I think it is good for us, and brings us > a little closer together. Truely, the things she does can be comical at > times. > > > > Once I went with mum to a picture framers. She fancied herself to be a > great artist, and she was pretty good in her early days. She wanted a > picture framed, and while we were talking to the elderly framer he asked how > to pronounce our last name. > > Her current husband is of Dutch descent, and Mum did her thing where she > half closes her eyes, puffs out her chest, lifts her chin and declares in a > superior voice " it is pronounced RRRRRR-OUT-men! Its Dutch! " . The guy > smiled, and asked if she could speak Dutch. Mum replied " but of course " . > Now, my mother cant speak a damn word. Neither can her husband. At this > point Im standing there with one eyebrow up, wondering what on earth > possessed her to say such a thing. > > The framer smiled even wider and began rattling on to her in Dutch! There > is nothing as wonderful in the world than the look of dismay and " oh crap, > what do I do now? " that crossed her face. I had to control myself not to > fall on the floor weeing myself with laughter while she stammered and > stuttered through some excuse about not having practised for ages. It was > gold. Needless to say, she packed up her pictures and stalked out of the > store, furious. > > > > We lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere when I was a kid. Mum was > apparently hanging washing out while us kids were at school, on a line > behind the shed, 300m from the house, in her undies. Suddenly a car pulls up > and people get out. Mum panics (reputation is huge to her) and runs behind > the shed. As they walk around the shed to the house, she walks the other way > so they cant see her. She didnt realise that the walls of the shed are > elevated - there is a large gap between the walls and the floor - the people > heard her footsteps, looked under the walls and saw there was someone on the > other side of the shed. So they walked faster, chasing her around and around > the shed. Mum would have been FRANTIC!!! How DARE anyone see her in her > underwear! She would never live it down!!! Anyway, they got sick of chasing > and left, and Mum scampered into the house and it took days for her to get > over it. I still get the giggles when I think about it - for her that would > have been an ultimate embaressment. > > > > I think being able to laugh about irrational behaviour is a good thing. > Often when us kids are together it stops us from getting into a morbid " mum > screwed us up " conversation, which ends is us all getting mad. There is a > time and a place for laughing at the stupidness of it all. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2010 Report Share Posted September 1, 2010 I know what you mean! Sometimes, things are just funny, even though to anyone else they arent. One particular sister and I have a good laugh about the rubbish mum says about us to the other. We have to laugh, because to take it seriously would make us cry (and does some of the time). Heres another bizarre thing my mum did once- I had my best friend over at my house on the weekend. We were playing outside, and she decided to go in to grab a drink or something. She opened the door, and then slammed it shut and came running back with her mouth open. Apparently my mother was standing right inside the door, talking on the phone without her false teeth in, butt naked. When I went inside and told mum to go put some clothes on, she got upset that my friend was so rude to see her naked. She couldnt see that standing around the house naked made it her own fault! Another time my mother wouldnt let me go on school camp, and told the school teacher it was because she had an affair with an arabian prince years before, he was watching and would kidnap us kids. I was as embarressed as a kid can get, but us girls have a good laugh about it now. My friend and I still giggle about things like this when we get together for drinks. > > there is a big fight I always laugh about. it's not funny at all and I still have a scar but to me it is the perfect illustration of my family. > > I cut my finger opening a can (i.e. the scar I still have) and went to ask nada for bandaids. She screams at me 'how can you be so stupid to cut your finger on a can opener' blah blah blah. Up to that point I'd been brave but then i started bawling, my brother jumped in and started chiding me about 'crying like a baby', then my father was sitting there and told me to put a bandaid on it (not at all out of concern, just annoyance) and when I said we didn't have any, he seized on the opportunity to start an argument since he and my mother were fighting by yelling at the top of his lungs, " what kind of mother wouldn't have any bandaids in a house full of children " and they were off to the races in another argument. Meanwhile I'm standing at the sink bleeding everywhere...I remember my hand shaking and stuff. I don't know why but every time I think about him starting with 'what kind of mother...' I just burst out laughing. it wasn't funny then, but it's so d*mn typical of the emotionally charged insanity I lived in every day of my life. I think I was around 8 or 10 when that happened. > > another time I remember is when nada and fada were having their almost daily fights about money and nada was begging fada to pay the bills and fada finally relented and wrote out all the checks, but he wrote " f*ck you " in the memo section of every one of the checks. apparently that was their last checkbook so nada was forced to send the checks out like that. > > sigh... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 this makes me think of a show I saw on tv last night where the family were nudists, and the girl said that the first time she introduced her boyfriend to her grandmother she ran up to him, completely naked and gave him a great big hug. oy. > > > > there is a big fight I always laugh about. it's not funny at all and I still have a scar but to me it is the perfect illustration of my family. > > > > I cut my finger opening a can (i.e. the scar I still have) and went to ask nada for bandaids. She screams at me 'how can you be so stupid to cut your finger on a can opener' blah blah blah. Up to that point I'd been brave but then i started bawling, my brother jumped in and started chiding me about 'crying like a baby', then my father was sitting there and told me to put a bandaid on it (not at all out of concern, just annoyance) and when I said we didn't have any, he seized on the opportunity to start an argument since he and my mother were fighting by yelling at the top of his lungs, " what kind of mother wouldn't have any bandaids in a house full of children " and they were off to the races in another argument. Meanwhile I'm standing at the sink bleeding everywhere...I remember my hand shaking and stuff. I don't know why but every time I think about him starting with 'what kind of mother...' I just burst out laughing. it wasn't funny then, but it's so d*mn typical of the emotionally charged insanity I lived in every day of my life. I think I was around 8 or 10 when that happened. > > > > another time I remember is when nada and fada were having their almost daily fights about money and nada was begging fada to pay the bills and fada finally relented and wrote out all the checks, but he wrote " f*ck you " in the memo section of every one of the checks. apparently that was their last checkbook so nada was forced to send the checks out like that. > > > > sigh... > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 Ninera- They took over your wedding reservation?!? my how....thrifty. Or something. Please tell me they didn't expect YOU to be all happy and bubbly on their " special day " . Did your mum borrow your dress, too? Unbelievable. Letty > > > > > > > > > > there is a big fight I always laugh about. > > it's not > > > > funny at all and I still have a scar but to me it > > is the > > > > perfect illustration of my family. > > > > > > > > > > I cut my finger opening a can (i.e. the scar > > I still > > > > have) and went to ask nada for bandaids. She > > screams at me > > > > 'how can you be so stupid to cut your finger on a > > can > > > > opener' blah blah blah. Up to that point I'd been > > brave but > > > > then i started bawling, my brother jumped in and > > started > > > > chiding me about 'crying like a baby', then my > > father was > > > > sitting there and told me to put a bandaid on it > > (not at all > > > > out of concern, just annoyance) and when I said > > we didn't > > > > have any, he seized on the opportunity to start > > an argument > > > > since he and my mother were fighting by yelling > > at the top > > > > of his lungs, " what kind of mother wouldn't have > > any > > > > bandaids in a house full of children " and they > > were off to > > > > the races in another argument. Meanwhile I'm > > standing at the > > > > sink bleeding everywhere...I remember my hand > > shaking and > > > > stuff. I don't know why but every time I think > > about him > > > > starting with 'what kind of mother...' I just > > burst out > > > > laughing. it wasn't funny then, but it's so d*mn > > typical of > > > > the emotionally charged insanity I lived in every > > day of my > > > > life. I think I was around 8 or 10 when that > > happened. > > > > > > > > > > another time I remember is when nada and > > fada were > > > > having their almost daily fights about money and > > nada was > > > > begging fada to pay the bills and fada finally > > relented and > > > > wrote out all the checks, but he wrote " f*ck you " > > in the > > > > memo section of every one of the checks. > > apparently that was > > > > their last checkbook so nada was forced to send > > the checks > > > > out like that. > > > > > > > > > > sigh... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------ > > > > > > > > **This group is based on principles in > > Randi Kreger's new > > > > book The Essential Family Guide to Borderline > > Personality > > > > Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop Walking on > > Eggshells, > > > > available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems? > > Write @ > > > > DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST. > > > > > > > > To unsub from this list, send a blank email to WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe > > > > > > > > > > > > Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a > > Borderline > > > > Parent, " and " Understanding the Borderline > > Mother " (hard to > > > > find) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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