What can you laugh about?

[Guest guest]

When us kids do happen to get together, we do the usual " have you talked to mum

lately? " and compare stories of what she has done/said lately. If we are in a

good enough mood, we might compare things that we can laugh about. It takes some

effort at times, but I think it is good for us, and brings us a little closer

together. Truely, the things she does can be comical at times.

Once I went with mum to a picture framers. She fancied herself to be a great

artist, and she was pretty good in her early days. She wanted a picture framed,

and while we were talking to the elderly framer he asked how to pronounce our

last name.

Her current husband is of Dutch descent, and Mum did her thing where she half

closes her eyes, puffs out her chest, lifts her chin and declares in a superior

voice " it is pronounced RRRRRR-OUT-men! Its Dutch! " . The guy smiled, and asked

if she could speak Dutch. Mum replied " but of course " . Now, my mother cant speak

a damn word. Neither can her husband. At this point Im standing there with one

eyebrow up, wondering what on earth possessed her to say such a thing.

The framer smiled even wider and began rattling on to her in Dutch! There is

nothing as wonderful in the world than the look of dismay and " oh crap, what do

I do now? " that crossed her face. I had to control myself not to fall on the

floor weeing myself with laughter while she stammered and stuttered through some

excuse about not having practised for ages. It was gold. Needless to say, she

packed up her pictures and stalked out of the store, furious.

We lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere when I was a kid. Mum was apparently

hanging washing out while us kids were at school, on a line behind the shed,

300m from the house, in her undies. Suddenly a car pulls up and people get out.

Mum panics (reputation is huge to her) and runs behind the shed. As they walk

around the shed to the house, she walks the other way so they cant see her. She

didnt realise that the walls of the shed are elevated - there is a large gap

between the walls and the floor - the people heard her footsteps, looked under

the walls and saw there was someone on the other side of the shed. So they

walked faster, chasing her around and around the shed. Mum would have been

FRANTIC!!! How DARE anyone see her in her underwear! She would never live it

down!!! Anyway, they got sick of chasing and left, and Mum scampered into the

house and it took days for her to get over it. I still get the giggles when I

think about it - for her that would have been an ultimate embaressment.

I think being able to laugh about irrational behaviour is a good thing. Often

when us kids are together it stops us from getting into a morbid " mum screwed us

up " conversation, which ends is us all getting mad. There is a time and a place

for laughing at the stupidness of it all.

[Guest guest]

I love these! These are so great keep em coming! Haha!

Okay here is mine.

This is so mean of me, but my nada the queen was doing some queenly business up

town cashing a queenly check at the bank. We were together and I was in the

passenger's seat, my baby in the back she was the driver (much like life was at

the time). Well she leaned to grab the tube to stuff her check in she was too

fast for her own good and smacked her head on the car door (not too hard to

cause a concussion just hard enough to cause embarrassment). I busted out

laughing! She looked at me with the witch's eyes but then strangely turned waif

in the blink of an eye and started to sob and cry and " shame on you I am hurt

why would you laugh at me? " I was trying so hard not to laugh, but I have this

problem like when I hurt myself I start to laugh, or when I see other people

(like on Americas funniest videos getting whacked in the balls) I cant help but

laugh! I was able to contain my laughter on the outside but inside I was dying

of laughter and I still giggle thinking about her like a long horned elk barging

so quickly through the car door to get that check cashed it gave us both a

shock! I'm sorry I don't know why it was such a vision to me I snort now as I

think of it! Maybe it was wrong of me to find it funny, but things like this get

to me.

Here is another one, my nada prides herself on how hard she would make me work,

just like Cinderella. She thought nothing to kick me in the ribs while I was on

my hands and knees scrubbing her floors (daily). I was nothing more than a live

in maid. Well my best friend and lived right next door and we looked so much

alike and often dressed the same and spent every day together even when we were

grounded. One summer day the witch showed up out of the blue my mom screamed at

her and i believe she even grabbed her by the hair and said " grab that bucket

and scrub the floor on your hands and knees and it better look good! " My

neighbor just grabbed the bucket and started to clean, meanwhile I was in

another part of the house listening to music or playing with my hair dreaming of

the ball with my mice friends or something.

After a while nada came through and saw my friend scrubbing the floor and of

course the witch disappeared as fast as she arrived she said to my friend " what

on earth are you doing I told LB to do that? " and my friend said " no you told me

to do it " rather than be embarrassed that she was so blinded by irrational rage

that she could not even recognize her own daughter she bragged about her power

for years!

I don't know why those stories are funny to me, but in a twisted way they are.

LB

> > >

> > > When us kids do happen to get together, we do the usual " have you talked

> > to mum lately? " and compare stories of what she has done/said lately. If we

> > are in a good enough mood, we might compare things that we can laugh about.

> > It takes some effort at times, but I think it is good for us, and brings us

> > a little closer together. Truely, the things she does can be comical at

> > times.

> > >

> > > Once I went with mum to a picture framers. She fancied herself to be a

> > great artist, and she was pretty good in her early days. She wanted a

> > picture framed, and while we were talking to the elderly framer he asked how

> > to pronounce our last name.

> > > Her current husband is of Dutch descent, and Mum did her thing where she

> > half closes her eyes, puffs out her chest, lifts her chin and declares in a

> > superior voice " it is pronounced RRRRRR-OUT-men! Its Dutch! " . The guy

> > smiled, and asked if she could speak Dutch. Mum replied " but of course " .

> > Now, my mother cant speak a damn word. Neither can her husband. At this

> > point Im standing there with one eyebrow up, wondering what on earth

> > possessed her to say such a thing.

> > > The framer smiled even wider and began rattling on to her in Dutch! There

> > is nothing as wonderful in the world than the look of dismay and " oh crap,

> > what do I do now? " that crossed her face. I had to control myself not to

> > fall on the floor weeing myself with laughter while she stammered and

> > stuttered through some excuse about not having practised for ages. It was

> > gold. Needless to say, she packed up her pictures and stalked out of the

> > store, furious.

> > >

> > > We lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere when I was a kid. Mum was

> > apparently hanging washing out while us kids were at school, on a line

> > behind the shed, 300m from the house, in her undies. Suddenly a car pulls up

> > and people get out. Mum panics (reputation is huge to her) and runs behind

> > the shed. As they walk around the shed to the house, she walks the other way

> > so they cant see her. She didnt realise that the walls of the shed are

> > elevated - there is a large gap between the walls and the floor - the people

> > heard her footsteps, looked under the walls and saw there was someone on the

> > other side of the shed. So they walked faster, chasing her around and around

> > the shed. Mum would have been FRANTIC!!! How DARE anyone see her in her

> > underwear! She would never live it down!!! Anyway, they got sick of chasing

> > and left, and Mum scampered into the house and it took days for her to get

> > over it. I still get the giggles when I think about it - for her that would

> > have been an ultimate embaressment.

> > >

> > > I think being able to laugh about irrational behaviour is a good thing.

> > Often when us kids are together it stops us from getting into a morbid " mum

> > screwed us up " conversation, which ends is us all getting mad. There is a

> > time and a place for laughing at the stupidness of it all.

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Another one I thought of...

When my father was selling his business, a pair of brothers I went to school

with came over to buy it. While they were talking, my mother asked one of them

" what do you do for a living? " He replied " Im a male stripper " .

My 50 year old mother replied, completely sincere, " Really? Ive always wanted to

do that myself! " The two bothers pissed themselves - she didnt realise they were

joking....

I think my father almost died.

[Guest guest]

These stories are AWESOME! Thanks for starting a great thread!

>

> When us kids do happen to get together, we do the usual " have you talked to

mum lately? " and compare stories of what she has done/said lately. If we are in

a good enough mood, we might compare things that we can laugh about. It takes

some effort at times, but I think it is good for us, and brings us a little

closer together. Truely, the things she does can be comical at times.

>

> Once I went with mum to a picture framers. She fancied herself to be a great

artist, and she was pretty good in her early days. She wanted a picture framed,

and while we were talking to the elderly framer he asked how to pronounce our

last name.

> Her current husband is of Dutch descent, and Mum did her thing where she half

closes her eyes, puffs out her chest, lifts her chin and declares in a superior

voice " it is pronounced RRRRRR-OUT-men! Its Dutch! " . The guy smiled, and asked

if she could speak Dutch. Mum replied " but of course " . Now, my mother cant speak

a damn word. Neither can her husband. At this point Im standing there with one

eyebrow up, wondering what on earth possessed her to say such a thing.

> The framer smiled even wider and began rattling on to her in Dutch! There is

nothing as wonderful in the world than the look of dismay and " oh crap, what do

I do now? " that crossed her face. I had to control myself not to fall on the

floor weeing myself with laughter while she stammered and stuttered through some

excuse about not having practised for ages. It was gold. Needless to say, she

packed up her pictures and stalked out of the store, furious.

>

> We lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere when I was a kid. Mum was

apparently hanging washing out while us kids were at school, on a line behind

the shed, 300m from the house, in her undies. Suddenly a car pulls up and people

get out. Mum panics (reputation is huge to her) and runs behind the shed. As

they walk around the shed to the house, she walks the other way so they cant see

her. She didnt realise that the walls of the shed are elevated - there is a

large gap between the walls and the floor - the people heard her footsteps,

looked under the walls and saw there was someone on the other side of the shed.

So they walked faster, chasing her around and around the shed. Mum would have

been FRANTIC!!! How DARE anyone see her in her underwear! She would never live

it down!!! Anyway, they got sick of chasing and left, and Mum scampered into the

house and it took days for her to get over it. I still get the giggles when I

think about it - for her that would have been an ultimate embaressment.

>

> I think being able to laugh about irrational behaviour is a good thing. Often

when us kids are together it stops us from getting into a morbid " mum screwed us

up " conversation, which ends is us all getting mad. There is a time and a place

for laughing at the stupidness of it all.

>

[Guest guest]

Wow I can't believe that they got married on your wedding day! Regardless if you

called yours off that is really lame. I am sorry for you.

And as for the bread....yeah I am pretty sure you can believe him that he did

invent it, because probably only people who would think of these creations would

be our family members ha-ha.

A famous dish in our house was called " I don't know what it is but we got a lot

of it " Anybody want some? It was unidentifiable, and to this day I am still

not sure what was all in it, but there was always a lot of it. It is so funny

though how in their delusional minds (at least my nada) she was the best cook.

Tonight I made a tomato basil noodle dish (stuff from my garden) topped with

fresh mozzarella slices for my family. when they asked " what's for dinner? " I

had to jokingly reply " well I don't know what it is but we got a lot of it! " I

am having too much fun with this! LB

> > > > >

> > > > > there is a big fight I always laugh about.

> > it's not

> > > > funny at all and I still have a scar but to me it

> > is the

> > > > perfect illustration of my family.

> > > > >

> > > > > I cut my finger opening a can (i.e. the scar

> > I still

> > > > have) and went to ask nada for bandaids. She

> > screams at me

> > > > 'how can you be so stupid to cut your finger on a

> > can

> > > > opener' blah blah blah. Up to that point I'd been

> > brave but

> > > > then i started bawling, my brother jumped in and

> > started

> > > > chiding me about 'crying like a baby', then my

> > father was

> > > > sitting there and told me to put a bandaid on it

> > (not at all

> > > > out of concern, just annoyance) and when I said

> > we didn't

> > > > have any, he seized on the opportunity to start

> > an argument

> > > > since he and my mother were fighting by yelling

> > at the top

> > > > of his lungs, " what kind of mother wouldn't have

> > any

> > > > bandaids in a house full of children " and they

> > were off to

> > > > the races in another argument. Meanwhile I'm

> > standing at the

> > > > sink bleeding everywhere...I remember my hand

> > shaking and

> > > > stuff. I don't know why but every time I think

> > about him

> > > > starting with 'what kind of mother...' I just

> > burst out

> > > > laughing. it wasn't funny then, but it's so d*mn

> > typical of

> > > > the emotionally charged insanity I lived in every

> > day of my

> > > > life. I think I was around 8 or 10 when that

> > happened.

> > > > >

> > > > > another time I remember is when nada and

> > fada were

> > > > having their almost daily fights about money and

> > nada was

> > > > begging fada to pay the bills and fada finally

> > relented and

> > > > wrote out all the checks, but he wrote " f*ck you "

> > in the

> > > > memo section of every one of the checks.

> > apparently that was

> > > > their last checkbook so nada was forced to send

> > the checks

> > > > out like that.

> > > > >

> > > > > sigh...

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > ------------------------------------

> > > >

> > > >  **This group is based on principles in

> > Randi Kreger's new

> > > > book The Essential Family Guide to Borderline

> > Personality

> > > > Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop Walking on

> > Eggshells,

> > > > available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems?

> > Write @

> > > > DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST.

> > > >

> > > > To unsub from this list, send a blank email to

WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a

> > Borderline

> > > > Parent, " and " Understanding the Borderline

> > Mother " (hard to

> > > > find)

[Guest guest]

HAHA! I think I just sprayed coffee all over my keyboard... that is hilarious!

He sounds just like Mum!!!!

My mother used to think she was the worlds best cook too. Her " Chinese " was just

stew with some curry powder in it and carrots cut on an angle.

Has anyone had their nada meet another nada-type person? I find it fascinating

in the rare times that it has happened. My sister once went out with a guy who

was very opinionated, bullying and paranoid, not as bad, but still had a few

bats in the belfry. Him and mum would just go nuts at eachother, each trying to

be the centre of attention, each thinking the other was mad, voices gettting

louder and louder and Id just watch, thinking " its like a dog barking at itself

in a mirror " !!

>

> We mock nada stories quite a bit, although lately we've mocked her husband

more.

>

> He's likely on the NPD scale...and there has been great validation for me in

finding out that pretty much EVERYONE in my extended family finds him just as

ridiculous as I find him.

>

> Several years ago my cousin and his wife came to visit me from out of state

while our grandmother was here, staying with nada. Dinner was rough, what with

nada ripping apart my cousin's mother right in front of him (she seems to be the

only one who doesn't like my aunt!). We finally got on to stories of my

grandmother...she's had a pretty fascinating life. Nada's husband was

completely out of the loop...had nothing to share...when out of the clear

freaking blue he interrupts with a chortle and a very proud, " Well! I make my

own water! " My grandmother didn't miss a beat...she said, " So do I, five or six

times a day when everything's working properly. " Gawd, it was classic. I was

like, " You are *not* fusing hydrogen and oxygen in the basement to make

water...and if you are, then I'm calling the cops to tell them you have a meth

lab down there just for kicks and giggles. " The rest of us were cracking up,

nada was infuriated, and her husband didn't get

> the joke and went on to explain for TWENTY minutes, the elaborate set up he

supposedly had in the basement to purify the tap water and how brilliant he was

about it, how nobody else could do this, that he could make millions selling the

idea but he had to be careful because the government doesn't like people as

smart as he is and they'd hire an assasin...ad nauseum and non stop.

>

> It's become a running joke with my grandmother, my cousins, their friends, and

myself...random texts of " did you make any water today " or in conversation out

of the blue " You know I make my own water, right? "

>

> Ninera

[Guest guest]

Indeed. My humour covers some very intense anger towards my mother. Although all

the things I read insist that she is doing it out of fear, and doesnt mean to

manipulate, and so on - I cant feel sorry for her. I truely hope she rots in

hell.

>

> " Humor is also a way of saying something serious. " T.S. Eliot

>