What can you laugh about?

[Guest guest]

When us kids do happen to get together, we do the usual " have you talked to mum

lately? " and compare stories of what she has done/said lately. If we are in a

good enough mood, we might compare things that we can laugh about. It takes some

effort at times, but I think it is good for us, and brings us a little closer

together. Truely, the things she does can be comical at times.

Once I went with mum to a picture framers. She fancied herself to be a great

artist, and she was pretty good in her early days. She wanted a picture framed,

and while we were talking to the elderly framer he asked how to pronounce our

last name.

Her current husband is of Dutch descent, and Mum did her thing where she half

closes her eyes, puffs out her chest, lifts her chin and declares in a superior

voice " it is pronounced RRRRRR-OUT-men! Its Dutch! " . The guy smiled, and asked

if she could speak Dutch. Mum replied " but of course " . Now, my mother cant speak

a damn word. Neither can her husband. At this point Im standing there with one

eyebrow up, wondering what on earth possessed her to say such a thing.

The framer smiled even wider and began rattling on to her in Dutch! There is

nothing as wonderful in the world than the look of dismay and " oh crap, what do

I do now? " that crossed her face. I had to control myself not to fall on the

floor weeing myself with laughter while she stammered and stuttered through some

excuse about not having practised for ages. It was gold. Needless to say, she

packed up her pictures and stalked out of the store, furious.

We lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere when I was a kid. Mum was apparently

hanging washing out while us kids were at school, on a line behind the shed,

300m from the house, in her undies. Suddenly a car pulls up and people get out.

Mum panics (reputation is huge to her) and runs behind the shed. As they walk

around the shed to the house, she walks the other way so they cant see her. She

didnt realise that the walls of the shed are elevated - there is a large gap

between the walls and the floor - the people heard her footsteps, looked under

the walls and saw there was someone on the other side of the shed. So they

walked faster, chasing her around and around the shed. Mum would have been

FRANTIC!!! How DARE anyone see her in her underwear! She would never live it

down!!! Anyway, they got sick of chasing and left, and Mum scampered into the

house and it took days for her to get over it. I still get the giggles when I

think about it - for her that would have been an ultimate embaressment.

I think being able to laugh about irrational behaviour is a good thing. Often

when us kids are together it stops us from getting into a morbid " mum screwed us

up " conversation, which ends is us all getting mad. There is a time and a place

for laughing at the stupidness of it all.

[Guest guest]

there is a big fight I always laugh about. it's not funny at all and I still

have a scar but to me it is the perfect illustration of my family.

I cut my finger opening a can (i.e. the scar I still have) and went to ask nada

for bandaids. She screams at me 'how can you be so stupid to cut your finger on

a can opener' blah blah blah. Up to that point I'd been brave but then i started

bawling, my brother jumped in and started chiding me about 'crying like a baby',

then my father was sitting there and told me to put a bandaid on it (not at all

out of concern, just annoyance) and when I said we didn't have any, he seized on

the opportunity to start an argument since he and my mother were fighting by

yelling at the top of his lungs, " what kind of mother wouldn't have any bandaids

in a house full of children " and they were off to the races in another argument.

Meanwhile I'm standing at the sink bleeding everywhere...I remember my hand

shaking and stuff. I don't know why but every time I think about him starting

with 'what kind of mother...' I just burst out laughing. it wasn't funny then,

but it's so d*mn typical of the emotionally charged insanity I lived in every

day of my life. I think I was around 8 or 10 when that happened.

another time I remember is when nada and fada were having their almost daily

fights about money and nada was begging fada to pay the bills and fada finally

relented and wrote out all the checks, but he wrote " f*ck you " in the memo

section of every one of the checks. apparently that was their last checkbook so

nada was forced to send the checks out like that.

sigh...

>

> When us kids do happen to get together, we do the usual " have you talked to

mum lately? " and compare stories of what she has done/said lately. If we are in

a good enough mood, we might compare things that we can laugh about. It takes

some effort at times, but I think it is good for us, and brings us a little

closer together. Truely, the things she does can be comical at times.

>

> Once I went with mum to a picture framers. She fancied herself to be a great

artist, and she was pretty good in her early days. She wanted a picture framed,

and while we were talking to the elderly framer he asked how to pronounce our

last name.

> Her current husband is of Dutch descent, and Mum did her thing where she half

closes her eyes, puffs out her chest, lifts her chin and declares in a superior

voice " it is pronounced RRRRRR-OUT-men! Its Dutch! " . The guy smiled, and asked

if she could speak Dutch. Mum replied " but of course " . Now, my mother cant speak

a damn word. Neither can her husband. At this point Im standing there with one

eyebrow up, wondering what on earth possessed her to say such a thing.

> The framer smiled even wider and began rattling on to her in Dutch! There is

nothing as wonderful in the world than the look of dismay and " oh crap, what do

I do now? " that crossed her face. I had to control myself not to fall on the

floor weeing myself with laughter while she stammered and stuttered through some

excuse about not having practised for ages. It was gold. Needless to say, she

packed up her pictures and stalked out of the store, furious.

>

> We lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere when I was a kid. Mum was

apparently hanging washing out while us kids were at school, on a line behind

the shed, 300m from the house, in her undies. Suddenly a car pulls up and people

get out. Mum panics (reputation is huge to her) and runs behind the shed. As

they walk around the shed to the house, she walks the other way so they cant see

her. She didnt realise that the walls of the shed are elevated - there is a

large gap between the walls and the floor - the people heard her footsteps,

looked under the walls and saw there was someone on the other side of the shed.

So they walked faster, chasing her around and around the shed. Mum would have

been FRANTIC!!! How DARE anyone see her in her underwear! She would never live

it down!!! Anyway, they got sick of chasing and left, and Mum scampered into the

house and it took days for her to get over it. I still get the giggles when I

think about it - for her that would have been an ultimate embaressment.

>

> I think being able to laugh about irrational behaviour is a good thing. Often

when us kids are together it stops us from getting into a morbid " mum screwed us

up " conversation, which ends is us all getting mad. There is a time and a place

for laughing at the stupidness of it all.

>

[Guest guest]

Which to relate? Hmmm.....

My mother claimed she was blind, which she wasn't. It came back to

bite her repeatedly. We had a red oriental rug and a red golden

retriever who often slept on it. One day she walked into the room and

fell headfirst over the dog face down. It was terrible - I was

laughing hysterically and couldn't let her know.

The best fall though was one in which she pretended not to see a sign

on a metal pole in a mall and fell over it. My dad stood there looking

at her and said: " Why did you do that? "

Boy oh boy was she mad. And ever since if one of us trips, drops

something, or gets injured we say: " Why did you do that? " and then

burst out laughing.

Em

Sent from my blueberry.

On Sep 1, 2010, at 9:11 PM, " faerydancing96 "

wrote:

> I love these! These are so great keep em coming! Haha!

>

> Okay here is mine.

>

> This is so mean of me, but my nada the queen was doing some queenly

> business up town cashing a queenly check at the bank. We were

> together and I was in the passenger's seat, my baby in the back she

> was the driver (much like life was at the time). Well she leaned to

> grab the tube to stuff her check in she was too fast for her own

> good and smacked her head on the car door (not too hard to cause a

> concussion just hard enough to cause embarrassment). I busted out

> laughing! She looked at me with the witch's eyes but then strangely

> turned waif in the blink of an eye and started to sob and cry and

> " shame on you I am hurt why would you laugh at me? " I was trying so

> hard not to laugh, but I have this problem like when I hurt myself I

> start to laugh, or when I see other people (like on Americas

> funniest videos getting whacked in the balls) I cant help but laugh!

> I was able to contain my laughter on the outside but inside I was

> dying of laughter and I still giggle thinking abo ut her like a long

> horned elk barging so quickly through the car door to get that check

> cashed it gave us both a shock! I'm sorry I don't know why it was

> such a vision to me I snort now as I think of it! Maybe it was wrong

> of me to find it funny, but things like this get to me.

>

> Here is another one, my nada prides herself on how hard she would

> make me work, just like Cinderella. She thought nothing to kick me

> in the ribs while I was on my hands and knees scrubbing her floors

> (daily). I was nothing more than a live in maid. Well my best friend

> and lived right next door and we looked so much alike and often

> dressed the same and spent every day together even when we were

> grounded. One summer day the witch showed up out of the blue my mom

> screamed at her and i believe she even grabbed her by the hair and

> said " grab that bucket and scrub the floor on your hands and knees

> and it better look good! " My neighbor just grabbed the bucket and

> started to clean, meanwhile I was in another part of the house

> listening to music or playing with my hair dreaming of the ball with

> my mice friends or something.

>

> After a while nada came through and saw my friend scrubbing the

> floor and of course the witch disappeared as fast as she arrived she

> said to my friend " what on earth are you doing I told LB to do

> that? " and my friend said " no you told me to do it " rather than be

> embarrassed that she was so blinded by irrational rage that she

> could not even recognize her own daughter she bragged about her

> power for years!

>

> I don't know why those stories are funny to me, but in a twisted way

> they are. LB

>

>

> >

> > Ha ha, okay the fuck you part did make me laugh. Really hard.

> Loudly.

> >

> > Welcome to the FREAK SHOW! (that's what I always tell myself)

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Isnt it funny how they cant tolerate being embaressed? Its like their

kriptonite. I know if I ever want to put mum in her box (I rarely ever do it

because it makes me feel so mean) is to laugh at her in public. She cant stand

it and because there are people around that dont know her she cant go nuts at

me, its like watching a stressball get squeezed when she is trying to hold it

in. I swear her eyes are going to pop out of her head.

>

> I love these! These are so great keep em coming! Haha!

>

> Okay here is mine.

>

> This is so mean of me, but my nada the queen was doing some queenly business

up town cashing a queenly check at the bank. We were together and I was in the

passenger's seat, my baby in the back she was the driver (much like life was at

the time). Well she leaned to grab the tube to stuff her check in she was too

fast for her own good and smacked her head on the car door (not too hard to

cause a concussion just hard enough to cause embarrassment). I busted out

laughing! She looked at me with the witch's eyes but then strangely turned waif

in the blink of an eye and started to sob and cry and " shame on you I am hurt

why would you laugh at me? " I was trying so hard not to laugh, but I have this

problem like when I hurt myself I start to laugh, or when I see other people

(like on Americas funniest videos getting whacked in the balls) I cant help but

laugh! I was able to contain my laughter on the outside but inside I was dying

of laughter and I still giggle thinking about her like a long horned elk barging

so quickly through the car door to get that check cashed it gave us both a

shock! I'm sorry I don't know why it was such a vision to me I snort now as I

think of it! Maybe it was wrong of me to find it funny, but things like this get

to me.

>

> Here is another one, my nada prides herself on how hard she would make me

work, just like Cinderella. She thought nothing to kick me in the ribs while I

was on my hands and knees scrubbing her floors (daily). I was nothing more than

a live in maid. Well my best friend and lived right next door and we looked so

much alike and often dressed the same and spent every day together even when we

were grounded. One summer day the witch showed up out of the blue my mom

screamed at her and i believe she even grabbed her by the hair and said " grab

that bucket and scrub the floor on your hands and knees and it better look

good! " My neighbor just grabbed the bucket and started to clean, meanwhile I

was in another part of the house listening to music or playing with my hair

dreaming of the ball with my mice friends or something.

>

> After a while nada came through and saw my friend scrubbing the floor and of

course the witch disappeared as fast as she arrived she said to my friend " what

on earth are you doing I told LB to do that? " and my friend said " no you told me

to do it " rather than be embarrassed that she was so blinded by irrational rage

that she could not even recognize her own daughter she bragged about her power

for years!

>

> I don't know why those stories are funny to me, but in a twisted way they are.

LB

>