Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 haha, indeed, any religion can be used like a battering ram. My family is Catholic, and surprisingly, I still am a Catholic (not even of the cafeteria variety). My parents have fundie Catholic leanings, and when I was disowned, they kept appealing to our shared faith to try to get me to come back. (I wasn't going to be blamed for something I didn't do, and kept the boundaries, which eventually meant going NC) And they didn't like that my boyfriend-turned-fiance-turned-husband is Presbyterian. My mom, a convert, kept asking my now husband about converting to Catholicism. Awkward... Holly On Thu, Sep 9, 2010 at 10:34 AM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > I like Annie's idea. How about we invite them to join our religion? The > Summums is a super interesting one. . . or you wouldn't believe the ties I > have with Mormon Missionaries. Just send the Mormon's over (ha ha ha, my > nada is mormon no offense if you are - but any religion can be used like a > battering ram). > > > > > > > > > Thanks. > > > > I guess I still feel sorry for the monkeys... It's the sympathy that I > > struggle with and then that snowballs into me dealing with the crazy > again. > > You are very right. There is no good outcome from dealing with it on any > > level. > > > > I think I'm going to explain to my SO that it's a lot harder to keep my > > resolve when he or anyone else expresses doubt about it. What I need from > > him is support whether or not he believes I really can maintain NC. > > > > Again, so grateful for this group. > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > palm. > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has > called, > > I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want > contact. > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > > just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been > in > > contact with him. > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and > don't > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > breast > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > because > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense > in > > it don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph > infection > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > to > > her. > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > > is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. > She > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > due > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > along > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > see > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > this > > is not a surprise. > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and > talk > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > > in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > > her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > > this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 haha, indeed, any religion can be used like a battering ram. My family is Catholic, and surprisingly, I still am a Catholic (not even of the cafeteria variety). My parents have fundie Catholic leanings, and when I was disowned, they kept appealing to our shared faith to try to get me to come back. (I wasn't going to be blamed for something I didn't do, and kept the boundaries, which eventually meant going NC) And they didn't like that my boyfriend-turned-fiance-turned-husband is Presbyterian. My mom, a convert, kept asking my now husband about converting to Catholicism. Awkward... Holly On Thu, Sep 9, 2010 at 10:34 AM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > I like Annie's idea. How about we invite them to join our religion? The > Summums is a super interesting one. . . or you wouldn't believe the ties I > have with Mormon Missionaries. Just send the Mormon's over (ha ha ha, my > nada is mormon no offense if you are - but any religion can be used like a > battering ram). > > > > > > > > > Thanks. > > > > I guess I still feel sorry for the monkeys... It's the sympathy that I > > struggle with and then that snowballs into me dealing with the crazy > again. > > You are very right. There is no good outcome from dealing with it on any > > level. > > > > I think I'm going to explain to my SO that it's a lot harder to keep my > > resolve when he or anyone else expresses doubt about it. What I need from > > him is support whether or not he believes I really can maintain NC. > > > > Again, so grateful for this group. > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > palm. > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has > called, > > I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want > contact. > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > > just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been > in > > contact with him. > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and > don't > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > breast > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > because > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense > in > > it don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph > infection > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > to > > her. > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > > is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. > She > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > due > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > along > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > see > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > this > > is not a surprise. > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and > talk > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > > in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > > her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > > this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 haha, indeed, any religion can be used like a battering ram. My family is Catholic, and surprisingly, I still am a Catholic (not even of the cafeteria variety). My parents have fundie Catholic leanings, and when I was disowned, they kept appealing to our shared faith to try to get me to come back. (I wasn't going to be blamed for something I didn't do, and kept the boundaries, which eventually meant going NC) And they didn't like that my boyfriend-turned-fiance-turned-husband is Presbyterian. My mom, a convert, kept asking my now husband about converting to Catholicism. Awkward... Holly On Thu, Sep 9, 2010 at 10:34 AM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > I like Annie's idea. How about we invite them to join our religion? The > Summums is a super interesting one. . . or you wouldn't believe the ties I > have with Mormon Missionaries. Just send the Mormon's over (ha ha ha, my > nada is mormon no offense if you are - but any religion can be used like a > battering ram). > > > > > > > > > Thanks. > > > > I guess I still feel sorry for the monkeys... It's the sympathy that I > > struggle with and then that snowballs into me dealing with the crazy > again. > > You are very right. There is no good outcome from dealing with it on any > > level. > > > > I think I'm going to explain to my SO that it's a lot harder to keep my > > resolve when he or anyone else expresses doubt about it. What I need from > > him is support whether or not he believes I really can maintain NC. > > > > Again, so grateful for this group. > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > palm. > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has > called, > > I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want > contact. > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > > just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been > in > > contact with him. > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and > don't > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > breast > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > because > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense > in > > it don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph > infection > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > to > > her. > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > > is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. > She > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > due > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > along > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > see > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > this > > is not a surprise. > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and > talk > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > > in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > > her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > > this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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