family history

[Guest guest]

Okay, so this is really foreign to me. But my therapist today suggested that

I make a chart of my family history and see what issues are common and have

been passed down through the generations. I thought it was a very

interesting idea, and something Girlscout could put her detective pants on

and really get excited about.

The thing is, I know almost nothing about my mother's parents. Her dad died

when I was 1. And since she splits dead people as golden, I don't really

trust the info she gave me about him. And then about the only things I know

about her mother are that she was a career woman (maybe a bit ahead of her

time, my mother was born in the 40s) and that she had issues with

depression, and she had electroconvulsive shock therapy sometime in the 50s

or 60s.

So thats not much to go on.

Does anyone have research tips for me? Anyone want to join in and do it

together a little bit. I'm just going to focus on my maternal grandparents

for starters.

The other thing I know (and don't get all weirded out) but on my mother's

side of the family, there was polygamy as recently as my grandmother's

grandmother (does that make sense)? So, my great great grandmother was in a

polygamist relationship.

I don't know if that is relavant, but it is a very interesting factoid. And

it's kinda gross.

Researching these people kind of weirds me out - like am I seriously going

to open my mind to this after setting a boundary that they aren't part of my

life?

But I'm also very curious.

What you think guys?

[Guest guest]

I have done a similar thing when I was in therapy. I don't really have any

research tips for you... I asked my family about their family so if you're not

actually talking to them or they are not alive that is hard.

That's interesting about the polygamy in your family. Where did they live?

A much grosser (imo) aspect of my nada's parents is that they were first

cousins!! I do wonder if this contributed to her illness.

My nada's side of the family has a lot of mental illness in it. Her grandmother

killed herself (in my nada's bathroom). Her great uncle also killed himself. Her

parents are both NPD or something similar. Her mom, her grandma, and her great

grandma all suffered depression.

My dad's side also has mental illness, but they are much more quiet about it. My

grandma on my dad's side apparently has a sister that no one knows where she is,

she was institutionalized for schizophrenia many years ago. My grandfather had

some kind of OCD type disorder.

I wonder if I'd have been mentally ill even if I wasn't raised by my nada.

Casey

>

> Okay, so this is really foreign to me. But my therapist today suggested that

> I make a chart of my family history and see what issues are common and have

> been passed down through the generations. I thought it was a very

> interesting idea, and something Girlscout could put her detective pants on

> and really get excited about.

>

> The thing is, I know almost nothing about my mother's parents. Her dad died

> when I was 1. And since she splits dead people as golden, I don't really

> trust the info she gave me about him. And then about the only things I know

> about her mother are that she was a career woman (maybe a bit ahead of her

> time, my mother was born in the 40s) and that she had issues with

> depression, and she had electroconvulsive shock therapy sometime in the 50s

> or 60s.

>

> So thats not much to go on.

>

> Does anyone have research tips for me? Anyone want to join in and do it

> together a little bit. I'm just going to focus on my maternal grandparents

> for starters.

>

> The other thing I know (and don't get all weirded out) but on my mother's

> side of the family, there was polygamy as recently as my grandmother's

> grandmother (does that make sense)? So, my great great grandmother was in a

> polygamist relationship.

>

> I don't know if that is relavant, but it is a very interesting factoid. And

> it's kinda gross.

>

> Researching these people kind of weirds me out - like am I seriously going

> to open my mind to this after setting a boundary that they aren't part of my

> life?

>

> But I'm also very curious.

>

> What you think guys?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

GS, it s called a genogram. I ve done one. It can be very revealing.

My own family has some wierd stuff in it too. I used to joke my family

tree is a bush! lol. My father married my 1st cousin s ex wife. Now I

have 2 half sisters, and to step sisters , who are also my cousins. It

gets worse. My cousin, after he divorced his wife, who is now my step

mother, then married his former mother in law! Her other daughters,

were married, at different times, to the same guy.

But it does help you to understand some of your journey.

Tips:

Get a big piece of paper, and draw bubbles to write stuff in. Leave lots

of room.

Add lines as you find out the relationships. Get the names down. Talk

to older family members first. You can use geneology sites, but what

you can extract from live interviews is best.

Fill in what you know first. Talk to relatives or family friends and

take notes. A little digital recorder is a great help. Add information

as you get it and a picture will start to take shape. People who know

or knew relatives can often shed a lot of light for you.

Then put on your big girl panties and check hospital records, write

and request information on Grandparents that they may have. You can

also put out ads and notices requesting information keyed on people who

you DO know about.

Dig as deep as you wish. It gets to be fun after a while.

I found my great gg grandfather emigrated from Ireland in 1863. He was

a farrier and blacksmith. One of my gg great uncles was a circuit

riding preacher.

Final tip, you are in this for the process, not the final result. Enjoy

the journey. It will shine light on shadows in your life. And that is

what your therapist has in mind.

Good hunting!

Doug

[Guest guest]

Wow sounds awesome!!! Thank you!!!

My only problem is that my only living relative I was in contact with - my

paternal grandmother - is now dead. And I'm NC with the rest. So I'll see

what I can do with hospital records, newspapers, public records etc. I do

have a bundle of geneology my great aunt gave me - but it appears to be

mainly inspirational LDS quotes. Not too helpful!!! But I'm only one day

into my journey, with many many steps left to take.

XOXOX thank you

>

>

> GS, it s called a genogram. I ve done one. It can be very revealing.

>

> My own family has some wierd stuff in it too. I used to joke my family

> tree is a bush! lol. My father married my 1st cousin s ex wife. Now I

> have 2 half sisters, and to step sisters , who are also my cousins. It

> gets worse. My cousin, after he divorced his wife, who is now my step

> mother, then married his former mother in law! Her other daughters,

> were married, at different times, to the same guy.

>

> But it does help you to understand some of your journey.

>

> Tips:

>

> Get a big piece of paper, and draw bubbles to write stuff in. Leave lots

> of room.

>

> Add lines as you find out the relationships. Get the names down. Talk

> to older family members first. You can use geneology sites, but what

> you can extract from live interviews is best.

>

> Fill in what you know first. Talk to relatives or family friends and

> take notes. A little digital recorder is a great help. Add information

> as you get it and a picture will start to take shape. People who know

> or knew relatives can often shed a lot of light for you.

>

> Then put on your big girl panties and check hospital records, write

> and request information on Grandparents that they may have. You can

> also put out ads and notices requesting information keyed on people who

> you DO know about.

>

> Dig as deep as you wish. It gets to be fun after a while.

>

> I found my great gg grandfather emigrated from Ireland in 1863. He was

> a farrier and blacksmith. One of my gg great uncles was a circuit

> riding preacher.

>

> Final tip, you are in this for the process, not the final result. Enjoy

> the journey. It will shine light on shadows in your life. And that is

> what your therapist has in mind.

>

> Good hunting!

>

> Doug

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah, I might have to go over to the geneology library. i'm sure that will

be a strange experience!!!! I do have one famous LDS ancestor - and the

polygamy going back is so WEIRD!!! I'll let you guys know what I find out.

On Wed, Sep 15, 2010 at 10:33 AM, Holly Byers

wrote:

>

>

> The LDS has a geneology database on their website that may be esp. helpful,

> since your relalatives are LDS. Good luck!

>

> On Sep 15, 2010 11:18 AM, " Girlscout Cowboy "

<girlscout.cowboy@...<girlscout.cowboy%40gmail.com>

> >

> wrote:

>

> > Wow sounds awesome!!! Thank you!!!

> > My only problem is that my only living relative I was in contact with -

> my

> > paternal grandmother - is now dead. And I'm NC with the rest. So I'll see

> > what I can do with hospital records, newspapers, public records etc. I do

> > have a bundle of geneology my great aunt gave me - but it appears to be

> > mainly inspirational LDS quotes. Not too helpful!!! But I'm only one day

> > into my journey, with many many steps left to take.

> > XOXOX thank you

> >

> > On Wed, Sep 15, 2010 at 8:03 AM, <doug883@...<doug883%40yahoo.com>>

> wrote:

> >

> >>

> >>

> >> GS, it s called a genogram. I ve done one. It can be very revealing.

> >>

> >> My own family has some wierd stuff in it too. I used to joke my family

> >> tree is a bush! lol. My father married my 1st cousin s ex wife. Now I

> >> have 2 half sisters, and to step sisters , who are also my cousins. It

> >> gets worse. My cousin, after he divorced his wife, who is now my step

> >> mother, then married his former mother in law! Her other daughters,

> >> were married, at different times, to the same guy.

> >>

> >> But it does help you to understand some of your journey.

> >>

> >> Tips:

> >>

> >> Get a big piece of paper, and draw bubbles to write stuff in. Leave lots

> >> of room.

> >>

> >> Add lines as you find out the relationships. Get the names down. Talk

> >> to older family members first. You can use geneology sites, but what

> >> you can extract from live interviews is best.

> >>

> >> Fill in what you know first. Talk to relatives or family friends and

> >> take notes. A little digital recorder is a great help. Add information

> >> as you get it and a picture will start to take shape. People who know

> >> or knew relatives can often shed a lot of light for you.

> >>

> >> Then put on your big girl panties and check hospital records, write

> >> and request information on Grandparents that they may have. You can

> >> also put out ads and notices requesting information keyed on people who

> >> you DO know about.

> >>

> >> Dig as deep as you wish. It gets to be fun after a while.

> >>

> >> I found my great gg grandfather emigrated from Ireland in 1863. He was

> >> a farrier and blacksmith. One of my gg great uncles was a circuit

> >> riding preacher.

> >>

> >> Final tip, you are in this for the process, not the final result. Enjoy

> >> the journey. It will shine light on shadows in your life. And that is

> >> what your therapist has in mind.

> >>

> >> Good hunting!

> >>

> >> Doug

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

interesting... I know if I just look at my Nada's siblings... ugh ... they are

so messed up... One of them is a serious drug addict. One has severe paranoia

(spelling??) ... just a whole slew of problems... Makes you wonder what the heck

happened to them? I bet your therapist thinks that you may find some sort of

cycle??? that is my guess anyway... I think that it is awesome that you are so

aware of things that you are able to break whatever cycle might be going on

there... Someone has to stop the craziness!! Good for you and good luck with

that... I have never looked into family history so no advice from me... sorry.

jen

>

> Okay, so this is really foreign to me. But my therapist today suggested that

> I make a chart of my family history and see what issues are common and have

> been passed down through the generations. I thought it was a very

> interesting idea, and something Girlscout could put her detective pants on

> and really get excited about.

>

> The thing is, I know almost nothing about my mother's parents. Her dad died

> when I was 1. And since she splits dead people as golden, I don't really

> trust the info she gave me about him. And then about the only things I know

> about her mother are that she was a career woman (maybe a bit ahead of her

> time, my mother was born in the 40s) and that she had issues with

> depression, and she had electroconvulsive shock therapy sometime in the 50s

> or 60s.

>

> So thats not much to go on.

>

> Does anyone have research tips for me? Anyone want to join in and do it

> together a little bit. I'm just going to focus on my maternal grandparents

> for starters.

>

> The other thing I know (and don't get all weirded out) but on my mother's

> side of the family, there was polygamy as recently as my grandmother's

> grandmother (does that make sense)? So, my great great grandmother was in a

> polygamist relationship.

>

> I don't know if that is relavant, but it is a very interesting factoid. And

> it's kinda gross.

>

> Researching these people kind of weirds me out - like am I seriously going

> to open my mind to this after setting a boundary that they aren't part of my

> life?

>

> But I'm also very curious.

>

> What you think guys?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

The funny thing is the geneology library is only about 6 blocks from my

house. But I have always hated geneology. Now I have a reason to look. Cool

Hugs everyone!

>

>

>

> interesting... I know if I just look at my Nada's siblings... ugh ... they

> are so messed up... One of them is a serious drug addict. One has severe

> paranoia (spelling??) ... just a whole slew of problems... Makes you wonder

> what the heck happened to them? I bet your therapist thinks that you may

> find some sort of cycle??? that is my guess anyway... I think that it is

> awesome that you are so aware of things that you are able to break whatever

> cycle might be going on there... Someone has to stop the craziness!! Good

> for you and good luck with that... I have never looked into family history

> so no advice from me... sorry. jen

>

>

> >

> > Okay, so this is really foreign to me. But my therapist today suggested

> that

> > I make a chart of my family history and see what issues are common and

> have

> > been passed down through the generations. I thought it was a very

> > interesting idea, and something Girlscout could put her detective pants

> on

> > and really get excited about.

> >

> > The thing is, I know almost nothing about my mother's parents. Her dad

> died

> > when I was 1. And since she splits dead people as golden, I don't really

> > trust the info she gave me about him. And then about the only things I

> know

> > about her mother are that she was a career woman (maybe a bit ahead of

> her

> > time, my mother was born in the 40s) and that she had issues with

> > depression, and she had electroconvulsive shock therapy sometime in the

> 50s

> > or 60s.

> >

> > So thats not much to go on.

> >

> > Does anyone have research tips for me? Anyone want to join in and do it

> > together a little bit. I'm just going to focus on my maternal

> grandparents

> > for starters.

> >

> > The other thing I know (and don't get all weirded out) but on my mother's

> > side of the family, there was polygamy as recently as my grandmother's

> > grandmother (does that make sense)? So, my great great grandmother was in

> a

> > polygamist relationship.

> >

> > I don't know if that is relavant, but it is a very interesting factoid.

> And

> > it's kinda gross.

> >

> > Researching these people kind of weirds me out - like am I seriously

> going

> > to open my mind to this after setting a boundary that they aren't part of

> my

> > life?

> >

> > But I'm also very curious.

> >

> > What you think guys?

> >

> >

> >