Re: So confused...not sure what to do

[Guest guest]

Hello,

you asked for advice so here it is, I wouldn't go on a diet because they always

worked for me until they DIDN'T anymore & I would gain all the weight back &

more. It helped me to hear Geneen say that whenever someone comes to her & says,

" I just want to lose XXx lbs & THEN I will do IE, she says they always come back

to her 1 or 2 or 3 years later HEAVIER than they were when she first saw them. I

believe it because I was one of those people. I started reading Geneen's books

about 15 years ago & thought, " great idea but let me just try this no carb diet,

or great idea but I think I'll lose more on the GIndex diet.......... " . I

wound up dieting my way from 124 to 169 down to 108 back to 175 now down to 135

over the course of 37 years. I have spent thousands of dollars on books &

clothes & I'm just fed up with the whole lying diet industry that is getting

rich off of people like me. Sorry for the rant. But I am so tired of watching

weight loss commercials followed by junk food commercials.

there has to be a better way. I believe that better way is taking the time to

listen to our bodies, to eat ONLY when we are truly hungry & to eat what our

bodies want (not what our mind thinks it wants).... I could go on but I think I

will get off my soapbox now & hope I didn't turn anyone off of IE.

I guess the other advice I would have is to really listen to what your body

wants. Sometimes I think my body wants something to eat when really I am just

thirsty. So then I drink a glass of water & if after a little while my body

still wants food, I feed it. Another thing is Geneen says that when we are truly

hungry we don't want cheesecake, we want good nourishing food. I think she is

right. Sometimes I want to eat & realize that I wasn't really hungry, I was just

tired, or bored or trying to numb an uncomfortable emotion. It takes time to get

to hear what we are REALLY hungry for BUT it is worth the effort & your body

will thank you by being healthy, happy & whole.

Sorry for the long post but the best thing about email is that it's easy to skim

or delete. LOL.

mj

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much for your post mj! I really appreciate it. I'm just really frustrated mostly at myself, that I can't seem to get this under control! I'm worried for my husband as well...he's at a weight now that is getting scary and I don't want his health to suffer! So I feel that I need to do something to help him too! Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®Sender: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Tue, 02 Nov 2010 03:59:57 -0000To: <IntuitiveEating_Support >ReplyTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: So confused...not sure what to do Hello,you asked for advice so here it is, I wouldn't go on a diet because they always worked for me until they DIDN'T anymore & I would gain all the weight back & more. It helped me to hear Geneen say that whenever someone comes to her & says, " I just want to lose XXx lbs & THEN I will do IE, she says they always come back to her 1 or 2 or 3 years later HEAVIER than they were when she first saw them. I believe it because I was one of those people. I started reading Geneen's books about 15 years ago & thought, " great idea but let me just try this no carb diet, or great idea but I think I'll lose more on the GIndex diet.......... " . I wound up dieting my way from 124 to 169 down to 108 back to 175 now down to 135 over the course of 37 years. I have spent thousands of dollars on books & clothes & I'm just fed up with the whole lying diet industry that is getting rich off of people like me. Sorry for the rant. But I am so tired of watching weight loss commercials followed by junk food commercials.there has to be a better way. I believe that better way is taking the time to listen to our bodies, to eat ONLY when we are truly hungry & to eat what our bodies want (not what our mind thinks it wants).... I could go on but I think I will get off my soapbox now & hope I didn't turn anyone off of IE. I guess the other advice I would have is to really listen to what your body wants. Sometimes I think my body wants something to eat when really I am just thirsty. So then I drink a glass of water & if after a little while my body still wants food, I feed it. Another thing is Geneen says that when we are truly hungry we don't want cheesecake, we want good nourishing food. I think she is right. Sometimes I want to eat & realize that I wasn't really hungry, I was just tired, or bored or trying to numb an uncomfortable emotion. It takes time to get to hear what we are REALLY hungry for BUT it is worth the effort & your body will thank you by being healthy, happy & whole.Sorry for the long post but the best thing about email is that it's easy to skim or delete. LOL.mj

[Guest guest]

I know exactly how you feel, because I have been in the same place myself the

last few weeks. I started IE really well, then went through the most rebellious

phase where ALL I wanted to eat was junk. I wasn't binging per se, but was just

eating really caloric non-nutritious food when I was eating. And was eating

whenever I wanted, whether I was hungry or not. I'm not eating quite as badly

now, but am still not where I want to be and I have gained about ten pounds over

the last two months and can start to feel my clothes getting tighter. It's

scary and I have TOTALLY been tempted to go back to dieting, if only just to get

back to where I was when I started IE!

That said, I completely agree with MJ. I know that won't work because it NEVER

has before. Not in over 30 years of trying. Plus, I know that whatever it is

that's driving me to eat (in my case, job stress is a big factor), is going to

keep driving me to eat unless I address it. Which is all the more reason to not

just go on a diet because it's going to just be a temporary fix, like it always

has been.

I know you feel like you're craving all these fatty foods, but if you're REALLY

honest with yourself, are you really? When I was in my rebellious phase, I

would eat bowls and bowls of lucky charms cereal at a sitting because it was

what I was " craving, " but inevitably, I felt ill when I was done from all the

sugar. And even when I wasn't overeating, I felt like crap because all I was

eating was crap. Food you're really craving shouldn't leave you feeling like

crap. Plus, I don't ever remember feeling satisfied after eating any of that

stuff. If it was what I was truly craving, I should have felt satisfied, but I

didn't.

As for solutions, I finally just gave in and started working with a therapist

who does IE. That may be extreme for some, but I figure I've been trying to do

this on my own for 30 years, perhaps it's time to admit I need some help. It

can't cost more than all the money I've spent on diets over the years, plus my

insurance will pay for therapy. It never paid for all the money I spent on WW,

and diet books, and exercise equipment, and slim fast, and diet pills, and you

get the drift.

Josie

Visit my blog @ www.artofintuitiveliving.blogspot.com

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[Guest guest]

It is scary when we start rebelling against the " diet mentality " and the diet

industry. I too gained weight when I started eating whatever I wanted whenever

I wanted and not necessarily when I was hungry. But I gave myself permission to

eat. By giving myself permission, it released something and I evenutally lost

the urge to eat all the junk food. I have been doing IE for 3 1/3 years (hard

to believe it's been that long). And I can remember freaking out because my

clothes kept gettting tighter and tighter. I finally went out and bought some

clothes that fit me well and I felt good at that time. Once I did that,

something shifted, I started accepting my body where it was at and now finally I

am starting to drop, at least in my clothes. Not sure if in poundage because I

don't weigh except at the doctors.

So hang in there with IE, don't give it up. Give yourself permission to eat

those forbidden foods even in when not hungry. Eventually you will start to

want healthier and healthier foods. Eventually your body won't want the junk

food if you are truly listening to your body because it won't feel good. Don't

be afraid of weight gain. Embrace it. Learn to love yourself in this journey

and where you are right now. IE is a fabulous way to live with such amazing

freedom. Once your fully grasp it, there is no turning back!

Alana

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[Guest guest]

josie,

You are such a great writer. I just love reading your posts ( & blog) because

you generally are expressing my thinking better than I ever could. I have been

thinking of seeing an IE therapist, too, not that I think I NEED her because I

think I am doing really well with it. I took a couple of her evening workshops

& she was so " together " about IE - having done it for over 20 years & WOW, was

she gorgeous looking (like a natural, slim woman with tons of energy & great

personality).

when I was doing OA, we used to say " find someone that has what you want, ask

them how they did it & do what they did to get it. " So, now I am thinking that

this therapist HAS what I want & all I have to do to find out how to get it is

have a few sessions with her & attend a few evening courses. I'm going to make

an appointment TODAY. Thanks for the inspiration because I have been " thinking "

about doing this since LAST SEPT.

mj

[Guest guest]

Hello lharvey180

I do hear that you are experiencing frustration but let me tell you that I used

to feel that way too when clothes were so tight that I had to go out and buy the

next size up. And that would start all the insanity of dieting. As far as your

husband goes, we can only look after ourselves, we can't 'do IT' for other

people. I've found the best way is to just do it myself & when people start to

notice the changes in me, they sometimes ask me what I am doing so I tell them

about IE & then it is UP TO THEM whether they want to do it or not. Sometimes

they do & sometimes they try the latest greatest diet hope. Nothing I can do

about that, it is ENTIRELY their choice. Even if I love them dearly, I have to

let them decide what THEY want for themselves.

blessings to you & your husband

mj

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[Guest guest]

That makes total sense re the following sentence: " Geneen says that when we are

truly hungry we don't want cheesecake, we want good nourishing food. " I totally

agree with that as I know when I am eating when I'm not really hungry or for

other reasons I want sweet, salty, crunchy or high calorie things to soothe,

numb or escape. However, when I'm truly hungry I want more nourishing foods.

J.

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[Guest guest]

This sentence in your post, Josie, " Plus, I don't ever remember feeling

satisfied after eating any of that stuff. If it was what I was truly craving, I

should have felt satisfied, but I didn't. " That is one of the BIG HUGE ENORMOUS

keys for me.

When I have eaten that kind of Lucky Charms overload, I have told myself it's

because I DESERVE it. As if it were a treat, a reward, an earned indulgence.

But it quickly felt like a punishment.

I don't keep binge trigger foods around these days. Usually. But I don't scold

myself in the store when I consider the purchase, about how I can't control it

and " normal " people can have these things and I can't and how this time it will

be different if I buy it and all that. I don't usually buy them because my life

is simpler and kinder without them. I do struggle with night time eating when I

am not hungry. Not having the easy triggers may keep me heading toward a place

where I can more easily eat from hunger and not all the other reasons I eat.

Anyhoo, loved the insight about satisfaction. You & Mick Jagger.

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[Guest guest]

Hi Everybody,

Wow, I haven't chimed in in quite a while, but it's been good to read the thread

these past couple of days. I've been doing really well with Intuitive Eating

and started a support group in my area using the methods of Geneen Roth and I

have to say, my relationship to food is really shifting...I haven't binged

and/or purged in almost a year. The last couple of posts I've read remind me of

an MP3 download Geneen offers on her website about the " true meaning of the

eating guidelines " . She spends a lot of time talking about the difference

between what our minds want and what our bodies want and learning to discern the

difference. I have to say that from my own experience, it does take time, but

it does happen, I have discerned the difference. My " rebellious " phase lasted

about 2 weeks and all I ate were fried chicken tenders, tortilla chips and

nachos...things I never allowed myself to eat, even when bulimic for reasons I

won't go in to here (a bit gross...lol)! However, it did pass and now I seem to

be moving into a relationship with food wherein I'm naturally making choices

that make my body feel good. This means I'm doing a lot more cooking and baking

and loving myself in that way...loving that I'm learning that I deserve to cook

nice meals for myself and to enjoy them without guilt.

Thanks everyone!

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[Guest guest]

sarah, thank you for sharing, it is so inspiring to hear about the success

stories. AND to hear that it does take time & to allow ourselves that time.

thanks again.

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