Re: nada at the house, counting the days to her departure

[Guest guest]

OMG! I'd like to kill her! That is so freaking obnoxious, inappropriate,

rude and damaging to your kids!

>

>

> Hi All,

>

> we are in the middle of Nada drama who is staying at our house for her

> one-week-a-year visit. You can tell she is on her best behaviour and she

> even points it out! Last night, before going to bed, she said: " I've been so

> nice today! " As if it is an unusual and abnormal thing to be nice... Which

> makes me think that she knows that most of the time her behaviour is awful.

>

> My husband, after some 25 years, finally really gets it. He sees her for

> what she is and has lost any patience towards her. She says something

> outrageous and he snaps right back at her.

>

> She is totally frustrated and almost in shock because she is not used to my

> very gentle husband ever respond rudely or disrespectfully. He's just coming

> out of a long battle with cancer and told me that he has no time for 'mean

> people' and putting up with BS in general.

>

> She keep on saying that DH has changed into a 'different' person, that she

> does not understand why he is so 'mean' to her. I had to remind her that he

> just finished cancer treatment only few weeks ago and it was no a picnic for

> him, or me, to deal with a life threatening disease. Of course she spent the

> following hour telling me not to make a 'big deal' out of it, that we are

> the only persons she knows that 'overreact' to the situation and, finally,

> not to make it sound so dramatic because his cancer is one of the 'minor

> ones' (it is not). SHE, on the other hand, knows what real pain and

> suffering is, because SHE had a heart by-pass 8 years ago. AARGGH, can we

> say total lack of sympathy and solidarity?

>

> Every dinner conversation is monopolized by her. Even the kids at this

> point are getting tired of 'only nada stories'. It still amazes me how many

> times the expression 'Oh, this reminds me that I...', 'I had the same exact

> experience', or 'When I was..' And the cry for attention goes over to pure

> madness. My 13-year-old was talking about the pop star Lady gaga and she

> interrupted by announcing that she also has direct experience with

> celebrities because in 1986 she slept with (very famous actor) and he was

> sooo nice to her and kept on calling her the following days. Now, I made a

> quick calculation and I find it very unlikely that one of the most famous

> actor in my country who, at the time, would have been 29 years old, would

> meet my then 46-year-old, middle-aged, overweight nada in a pub and end up

> in bed with her. So outlandish and also inappropriate for an impressionable

> 13-year-old. The lies and exaggerations they use just to get attention! It's

> maddening.

>

> The conversation moves to the beginning of school, and there she goes on,

> and on about my kids not being good enough, not studying enough, not reading

> enough while I was so good (because I got so much help from her, of course!)

> that even our current Prime Minister - who when I was in high school was CEO

> of a big company that had business relations with the company my nada used

> to work at and whom she, maybe, met once – used to call her in the office to

> ask her about my grades! Btw, my kids are straight A students, and the whole

> monologue really made my blood boil and was a big trigger, because I could

> see in their faces the disappointment of not being good enough for their

> grandnada. It reminded me about all her criticizing, yelling at me about the

> same things and me feeling inadequate and never smart enough in school.

> Total madness.

>

> Anyway, 4 more days and it's over.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Man. These people really do live in a different world, don't they...one where

no one would see anything wrong with this. Maybe we should put them all on

their own separate planet! Planet BP!!

Hang in there...4 more days...

--.

[Guest guest]

your mother's hilarious: " I've been so nice today! " Reminds me of Nellie from

Little House on the Prairie, making it sound like she'd blessed everyone by

" behaving. "

Seriously, though, how incredibly self-absorbed of her to say, " gee, what's up

with your husband?? " Knowing that he'd just finished cancer therapy.

It's so like nadas that nobody else's pain/anguish/experience can match what

THEY'VE been through. My mother still does that, we'll be talking about one

person's experience, e.g., someone we know who had to move suddenly for their

job. " Well, that's nothing like what *I* had to go through, remember???? When

we moved???? Huh! And your father started cheating???? What she's going

through is nothing... "

And her comment to your adolescent child about how she slept with a

celebrity....ho boy. You're right, that is so inappropriate. She sounds like

she likes to shock and be the center of attention.

Good luck this week! Let us know how it goes...

>

> Hi All,

>

> we are in the middle of Nada drama who is staying at our house for her

one-week-a-year visit. You can tell she is on her best behaviour and she even

points it out! Last night, before going to bed, she said: " I've been so nice

today! " As if it is an unusual and abnormal thing to be nice... Which makes me

think that she knows that most of the time her behaviour is awful.

>

> My husband, after some 25 years, finally really gets it. He sees her for what

she is and has lost any patience towards her. She says something outrageous and

he snaps right back at her.

>

> She is totally frustrated and almost in shock because she is not used to my

very gentle husband ever respond rudely or disrespectfully. He's just coming out

of a long battle with cancer and told me that he has no time for 'mean people'

and putting up with BS in general.

>

> She keep on saying that DH has changed into a 'different' person, that she

does not understand why he is so 'mean' to her. I had to remind her that he just

finished cancer treatment only few weeks ago and it was no a picnic for him, or

me, to deal with a life threatening disease. Of course she spent the following

hour telling me not to make a 'big deal' out of it, that we are the only persons

she knows that 'overreact' to the situation and, finally, not to make it sound

so dramatic because his cancer is one of the 'minor ones' (it is not). SHE, on

the other hand, knows what real pain and suffering is, because SHE had a heart

by-pass 8 years ago. AARGGH, can we say total lack of sympathy and solidarity?

>

> Every dinner conversation is monopolized by her. Even the kids at this point

are getting tired of 'only nada stories'. It still amazes me how many times the

expression 'Oh, this reminds me that I...', 'I had the same exact experience',

or 'When I was..' And the cry for attention goes over to pure madness. My

13-year-old was talking about the pop star Lady gaga and she interrupted by

announcing that she also has direct experience with celebrities because in 1986

she slept with (very famous actor) and he was sooo nice to her and kept on

calling her the following days. Now, I made a quick calculation and I find it

very unlikely that one of the most famous actor in my country who, at the time,

would have been 29 years old, would meet my then 46-year-old, middle-aged,

overweight nada in a pub and end up in bed with her. So outlandish and also

inappropriate for an impressionable 13-year-old. The lies and exaggerations

they use just to get attention! It's maddening.

>

> The conversation moves to the beginning of school, and there she goes on, and

on about my kids not being good enough, not studying enough, not reading enough

while I was so good (because I got so much help from her, of course!) that even

our current Prime Minister - who when I was in high school was CEO of a big

company that had business relations with the company my nada used to work at and

whom she, maybe, met once – used to call her in the office to ask her about my

grades! Btw, my kids are straight A students, and the whole monologue really

made my blood boil and was a big trigger, because I could see in their faces the

disappointment of not being good enough for their grandnada. It reminded me

about all her criticizing, yelling at me about the same things and me feeling

inadequate and never smart enough in school. Total madness.

>

> Anyway, 4 more days and it's over.

>

[Guest guest]

Can you all just wear Ipods at the dinner table until she leaves? Or declare

" pizza and a movie " dinners in front of the TV? If she gets mad, maybe she'll

go home a few days early.

I don't blame your husband a bit for his reaction - a life-threatening scare

focuses the mind on what's important - I'm sure he feels that time is finite,

and there's no point in wasting a single day on somebody who makes you

miserable.

Your patience with your mom is remarkable. I can only handle about two hours

face-to-face with my mother, once a year just before Christmas. It's like a dose

of castor oil I have to swallow so I can enjoy the holiday.

>

> Hi All,

>

> we are in the middle of Nada drama who is staying at our house for her

one-week-a-year visit. You can tell she is on her best behaviour and she even

points it out! Last night, before going to bed, she said: " I've been so nice

today! " As if it is an unusual and abnormal thing to be nice... Which makes me

think that she knows that most of the time her behaviour is awful.

>

> My husband, after some 25 years, finally really gets it. He sees her for what

she is and has lost any patience towards her. She says something outrageous and

he snaps right back at her.

>

> She is totally frustrated and almost in shock because she is not used to my

very gentle husband ever respond rudely or disrespectfully. He's just coming out

of a long battle with cancer and told me that he has no time for 'mean people'

and putting up with BS in general.

>

> She keep on saying that DH has changed into a 'different' person, that she

does not understand why he is so 'mean' to her. I had to remind her that he just

finished cancer treatment only few weeks ago and it was no a picnic for him, or

me, to deal with a life threatening disease. Of course she spent the following

hour telling me not to make a 'big deal' out of it, that we are the only persons

she knows that 'overreact' to the situation and, finally, not to make it sound

so dramatic because his cancer is one of the 'minor ones' (it is not). SHE, on

the other hand, knows what real pain and suffering is, because SHE had a heart

by-pass 8 years ago. AARGGH, can we say total lack of sympathy and solidarity?

>

> Every dinner conversation is monopolized by her. Even the kids at this point

are getting tired of 'only nada stories'. It still amazes me how many times the

expression 'Oh, this reminds me that I...', 'I had the same exact experience',

or 'When I was..' And the cry for attention goes over to pure madness. My

13-year-old was talking about the pop star Lady gaga and she interrupted by

announcing that she also has direct experience with celebrities because in 1986

she slept with (very famous actor) and he was sooo nice to her and kept on

calling her the following days. Now, I made a quick calculation and I find it

very unlikely that one of the most famous actor in my country who, at the time,

would have been 29 years old, would meet my then 46-year-old, middle-aged,

overweight nada in a pub and end up in bed with her. So outlandish and also

inappropriate for an impressionable 13-year-old. The lies and exaggerations

they use just to get attention! It's maddening.

>

> The conversation moves to the beginning of school, and there she goes on, and

on about my kids not being good enough, not studying enough, not reading enough

while I was so good (because I got so much help from her, of course!) that even

our current Prime Minister - who when I was in high school was CEO of a big

company that had business relations with the company my nada used to work at and

whom she, maybe, met once – used to call her in the office to ask her about my

grades! Btw, my kids are straight A students, and the whole monologue really

made my blood boil and was a big trigger, because I could see in their faces the

disappointment of not being good enough for their grandnada. It reminded me

about all her criticizing, yelling at me about the same things and me feeling

inadequate and never smart enough in school. Total madness.

>

> Anyway, 4 more days and it's over.

>

[Guest guest]

wow. just wow.

announcing she slept with so and so to a 13 year old? That's completely insane.

You have the patience of a saint to even allow her for that long a visit. Hugs.

>

> Hi All,

>

> we are in the middle of Nada drama who is staying at our house for her

one-week-a-year visit. You can tell she is on her best behaviour and she even

points it out! Last night, before going to bed, she said: " I've been so nice

today! " As if it is an unusual and abnormal thing to be nice... Which makes me

think that she knows that most of the time her behaviour is awful.

>

> My husband, after some 25 years, finally really gets it. He sees her for what

she is and has lost any patience towards her. She says something outrageous and

he snaps right back at her.

>

> She is totally frustrated and almost in shock because she is not used to my

very gentle husband ever respond rudely or disrespectfully. He's just coming out

of a long battle with cancer and told me that he has no time for 'mean people'

and putting up with BS in general.

>

> She keep on saying that DH has changed into a 'different' person, that she

does not understand why he is so 'mean' to her. I had to remind her that he just

finished cancer treatment only few weeks ago and it was no a picnic for him, or

me, to deal with a life threatening disease. Of course she spent the following

hour telling me not to make a 'big deal' out of it, that we are the only persons

she knows that 'overreact' to the situation and, finally, not to make it sound

so dramatic because his cancer is one of the 'minor ones' (it is not). SHE, on

the other hand, knows what real pain and suffering is, because SHE had a heart

by-pass 8 years ago. AARGGH, can we say total lack of sympathy and solidarity?

>

> Every dinner conversation is monopolized by her. Even the kids at this point

are getting tired of 'only nada stories'. It still amazes me how many times the

expression 'Oh, this reminds me that I...', 'I had the same exact experience',

or 'When I was..' And the cry for attention goes over to pure madness. My

13-year-old was talking about the pop star Lady gaga and she interrupted by

announcing that she also has direct experience with celebrities because in 1986

she slept with (very famous actor) and he was sooo nice to her and kept on

calling her the following days. Now, I made a quick calculation and I find it

very unlikely that one of the most famous actor in my country who, at the time,

would have been 29 years old, would meet my then 46-year-old, middle-aged,

overweight nada in a pub and end up in bed with her. So outlandish and also

inappropriate for an impressionable 13-year-old. The lies and exaggerations

they use just to get attention! It's maddening.

>

> The conversation moves to the beginning of school, and there she goes on, and

on about my kids not being good enough, not studying enough, not reading enough

while I was so good (because I got so much help from her, of course!) that even

our current Prime Minister - who when I was in high school was CEO of a big

company that had business relations with the company my nada used to work at and

whom she, maybe, met once – used to call her in the office to ask her about my

grades! Btw, my kids are straight A students, and the whole monologue really

made my blood boil and was a big trigger, because I could see in their faces the

disappointment of not being good enough for their grandnada. It reminded me

about all her criticizing, yelling at me about the same things and me feeling

inadequate and never smart enough in school. Total madness.

>

> Anyway, 4 more days and it's over.

>