Re: Re: overdeveloped sense of responsibility for others?

[Guest guest]

my fada also takes pride in his " supervising role " of chores. He claims he

had the same role growing up Manipulative and controlling .

On Tue, Aug 31, 2010 at 2:39 PM, aj91507 wrote:

>

>

> My nada has a check list when I was 5 years old that was posted on the

> pantry door. Under my name was a list of chores (vaccum, wash dishes, clean

> room, etc.) and the top had the days of the week. Every time I completed a

> chore, I got a star and if I got a star for the whole week, I would get a

> treat (which my nada took away because she told me it was getting too

> expensive, so I was basically free labor).

>

> My grandma (fada's mom and " normal " ) saw this one day and was super angry!

> I remember her getting upset at my nada for putting too much responsibility

> on a little girl and said to her " When she grows up, she is going to hate

> you! " Granted, not the best thing to say to a parent, but she was right on.

>

> AJ

>

>

> >

> > Hello All-

> >

> > Writing again about our foster child, .

> >

> > I've noticed that she's extremely attuned to other's feelings, and

> watches my face like a hawk.

> >

> > If I ever feel sad or vexed about something, she'll come flying across

> the room start rubbing my shoulders and asking if I'm okay.

> >

> > I keep telling her that A) I'm COMPLETELY FINE and experiencing nothing

> but life's little arrows and since she's the kid SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO

> WORRY ABOUT ME. Note: I don't actually shout this.

> >

> > Perhaps it'll sink in some day, but I find it interesting that she

> considers herself responsible for my moods and feelings.

> >

> > I remember feeling the same way about my BPD dad and NPD mom.

> >

> > Do you all remember doing this? Doing it still?

> >

> > Also, she came here expecting to do all the housework, help with all the

> cooking, carry all the groceries, etc. And I do mean ALL the groceries,

> expecting me to just walk along hands-free, la-di-da while she struggled!

> >

> > Was anyone else expected to do all the work while their BPD mom lounged

> about?

> >

> > I think I've finally convinced her what an appropriate amount of work for

> someone her age looks like, but I had to spell it out very clearly and take

> the cooking spoon, laundry basket, broom and grocery bags right out of her

> hands.

> >

> > Letty.

> >

>

>

>