Anger, so much anger

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I find myself being horrifically angry right now. I don't know why it is

bothering me so much.

Before my daughter's birthday party I contacted two family members intending

to invite them to the party. I did not think that this branch of the family

would support nada. Well, the two that I spoke to(I reminded them not to

tell nada where/when the party is) apparently reported right to their

grandmother(nada/s sister) that I was still not talking to nada. Nada's

sister called me ranting and acting just like nada.

I had recently gotten a facebook page but kept comments and photos of my

children off of it since I had family as friends. Mainly, I wanted facebook

for old coworkers to keep in touch. Once I realized that they were

supporting her I removed them all from facebook. I decided to do what I

wanted and share photos of my beautiful daughters with the coworkers(now the

only friends left on facebook) who all know my children.

All has been fine for 1 1/2 months now. All of a sudden last night one of

the cousins that I removed(one of the two I spoke to who ratted me out, so

to speak) sent me another friend request. I refused it but not the anger

and paranoia are back.

I am furious that she would dare try to get back in touch after throwing me

under the bus like that. I am afraid that by refusing her request the

family will rally again to make my life miserable. By the way they have

behaved I can assume that refusing her request will be seen as more abuse

from me. No one is willing to admit that I am not being abusive but

protecting myself from abuse.

I am not prepared right now to deal with the BS but not knowing what is

being planned now terrifies me. I am so tempted to message her and demand

to know why she sold me out and how she could treat me this way. My head

knows better, though. I know that no matter what I say to her she will

defend herself, her grandmother, and nada. I still so desperately wish that

someone in the family would be 100% on my side. I don't understand how

people can witness a child, and now an adult child, be treated this way and

ignore and condone it.