Re: Re: Filial responsibility

[Guest guest]

Yep, that's the basis of my post. I live in PA. I actually found this by

accident from a website on elder abuse/neglect so I have not researched

thoroughly. My state was there only as an example, it does not include

every state. I did read somewhere that it goes by the state the elderly

person lives in. For example, if I moved to CA and nada still lived here I

would be subject to PA law regardless of where I live.

I agree it shouldn't be legal, or at least extend the abandonment clause to

include estrangement in adulthood. I am not a part of nada's life and feel

no responsibility to provide for her when she has been so irresponsible with

her finances and treated me so horribly. I can see future lawsuits in which

children of irresponsible parents sue to force them into managing money

better to protect themselves. If I am going to be responsible for someone

else I should have some say in how they handle their money!

Also, for those of us who are abuse survivors it would feel like being

abused all over again. To be told that you have to provide for this person

who tortured you because " he/she provided life, care, and comfort " . It

seems similar to me as cases where a battered spouse is forced into

mediation with their abuser during the divorce.

Here is the link to the article I read but it is pretty narrow in scope:

www.stevensbrand.com/pdfs/Filial-*Responsibility*-Laws.pdf

On Sat, Sep 11, 2010 at 6:33 PM, climberkayak wrote:

>

>

> Holy crap! Check this out:

>

> " There are 30 states that have filial responsibility laws on the books,

> including Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia,

> Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, land, Massachusetts,

> Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina,

> North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota,

> Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Virginia and West Virginia.

>

> Pennsylvania is the only state so far that has been aggressively enforcing

> its filial responsibility law. However, the nursing home industry is

> suffering during these bleak economic times, and it's likely that nursing

> homes in other states with filial support laws will follow Pennsylvania's

> lead in an effort to stay afloat. "

>

>

>

http://elder-law.lawyers.com/Filial-Responsibility-Supporting-Your-Parents.html

>

>

>

> >

> > Hello,

> >

> > I am doing research for my assignment on elder abuse and neglect. I came

> > across a lengthy article about legal filial responsibility. Apparently,

> in

> > the state I live the law was recently changed so that adult children of

> > indigent elders are financially responsible for there long term medical

> > care. Failure to pay is punishable with imprisonment. The law does excuse

> > children who were abandoned but it only covers physical abandonment and

> it

> > must be for at least 10 years before the age of 18. Based on the

> > calculation an adult child would have to pay 1/2 of their disposable

> > income(income left after necessities are paid) each month.

> >

> > I am feeling very shocked and saddened by this. Nada has been

> intentionally

> > irresponsible with her money and retirement savings. To think that her

> > doctors could come after me because of her irresponsibility is sickening.

> > She has verbally and emotionally abused me my entire life ending in us

> > having NC. The law is based on the idea that parents supported children

> so

> > we should do the same. " hold that children are indebted to their parents

> > because they provided life, care, and comfort " . My nada never provided

> care

> > or comfort. I feel physically ill at the thought of being legally

> required

> > to provide care for the person who did everything possible to ruin me.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I plan on contacting a lawyer in February when I will have more available

cash for it. I did more research after I finishes my school work and my

state is scary. In other states the law is almost never used and when it is

it is very easy to avoid having to pay. In SC for example, the courts have

declined to issue a judgment because the adult child did not agree to

provide care. In my state, we have this:

" In a recent Pennsylvania case, a nursing home patient didn't pay her $8,000

rehabilitation bill *even though she had the money to pay*. The nursing home

was unable to obtain any money from the woman because her pension and Social

Security benefits were exempt from collection. The nursing home sued her

adult son, *even though he was raised by his grandparents*. The son didn't

hire an attorney and the nursing home obtained a default

judgment<http://research.lawyers.com/Default-Judgments-in-Civil-Lawsuits.html>ag\

ainst

him for the cost of his mother's care. Now he's faced with two

choices, ignore the debt and destroy his credit, or go into debt to pay off

his estranged mother's bill. "

This type of thing leaves room for nadas and fadas to ruin their children

financially. The expectation is going to become that adult children have to

take their elderly parents into their home or pay.

[Guest guest]

...

He also didn't have an attorney. And when you don't have an attorney, you

usually end up getting screwed.

>

> Subject: Re: Re: Filial responsibility

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Date: Monday, September 13, 2010, 12:13 PM

> What frightens me is that the state I

> live in IS enforcing this

> law-harshly.  The law is supposed take into account if

> the adult child can

> afford to pay but the state is using the most broad

> definition possible to

> determine financial stability.  With my nada, she

> never provided for me and

> was exceptionally irresponsible with her money.  I

> beleive that all the hard

> work I am doing to be stable, get out of debt, save money

> for my children's

> future, and save for my own retirement should not be taken

> from me because

> she refuses to be responsible.  In the case I quoted

> (from my state) the

> mother COULD pay and chose not to.  Her adult son, who

> she didn't raise, was

> ordered to pay 8,000-which would put him in debt. 

> It's horrifying.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

The law in part is being enforced to prevent abuse of the system but it is

punishing the children for abuse of the system on the part of the parent.

This is only a part, though. The major reason is because medicare/caid are

paying far too much for care of elderly people. The politicians, over the

years, have mishandled medicare/caid and now they want to pass the bill to

someone else. The third reason is based on the bible/moral idea that since

parents cared for their children we MUST care for them.

I do understand that the person in that case had no attorney but it was

because he could not afford one. It's no better to bankrupt someone with

attorney's fees than it is with medical bills.

My anger is directed only at the state I live in. The other 49 states do

have protections for the adult children. My state is being so strict on

this new law that, if not fixed, we are going to see more and more indigent

elderly as the years go on. My state is finding judgments against adult

children that are taking everything a person has after their bills are

paid. There are two major problems with this. One is that people forced to

pay these bills cannot save for their own retirement-leaving them unable to

pay for their own care when the time comes. The second is that money that

could be used for college and buying a home and car for the children of the

adult child is also fair game-causing future generations to start life in

debt and continuing the cycle.

Nada made me spend every dime I received as a minor on things that a normal

parent would have paid for. Leaving me forced to acquire a lot of debt just

to get away from her and start my own life. I am working very hard to get

rid of the debt and if I were forced to go back into debt to pay for her

care when she never paid for mine would be just another form of abuse.

As a youth, I tried several times to get help for authorities in my state.

Every time I was refused and told that I was being a bad daughter-once a cop

threatened to lock me up in juvenile detention for trying to get help. It

sickens me that the same authorities who refused to do their jobs and help

me would turn around and make me help nada.