Re: Eating without distractions

[Guest guest]

Kate, I eat in front of the TV or a book too.  For me I think it's just

a habit I acquired when I was a kid when we ate dinner on TV trays (are

you old enough to remember that?) or ate breakfast while reading the

cereal box.  I think this whole idea must've come from my dad who

always preached that eating and sleeping was a waste of time when you

could be doing something productive (that's The Voice in MY head), so

apparently multitasking while eating is a "productive" use of my time. 

LOL  But I'm working on not multitasking anything any more.  One thing

at a time.

Dawn

 

I find eating without distractions (especially TV) way more hard

than I ever thought. It feels like punishment to me too, although I

have several experiences where I only ate half of what I normally would

because I realized I was actually full when I paid attention.

I can't imagine getting to a point where you hate doing it --

can you say more?

Kate

Hi Heidi,

Welcome to the group! And congratulations on your recovery from

bulemia! That is amazing!

I know what you mean about it feeling like punishment to give up

eating while distracted. I think it's an awesome first step that you

committed to not eating while watching TV... and I think that's exactly

the right way to go about it. Baby steps. I focused on one meal a day

to start with. So I committed to eating dinner without distraction.

When I felt comfortable with that, I moved on to lunch, etc.

The other thing I can tell you is that, at least for me, it

stopped feeling like punishment pretty quickly, and started being my

preference. I watched a movie while eating dinner a couple of weeks

ago, and realized after the fact that I had hated it! And this is from

a person that never, ever ate without distraction before.

The other thing to keep in mind is that this isn't a rule; it's

a goal. You don't have to do it 100% of the time. But you may be

surprised to find, after an initial period of discomfort, that you

prefer it!

Glad to have you with us. Let us know how it goes.

Best,

Abby

Practicing IE since 11/08

On Jun 21, 2010 2:04 AM, "heidihowerocks"

<heidihowerocks>

wrote:

 

Hi, new internet friends.

I am new, and I just want to introduce myself. I'm a recovered bulimic

(almost 2 years) who has tried everything to find peace with food and

body image. Intuitive eating is the only thing that has worked for me.

I initially used Overcoming Overeating to overcome my eating disorder,

which helped me greatly. Now I am finding continued growth in the work

of Geneen Roth. 

I am working on being more present in every area of my life, especially

with eating. I have made a conscious decision to not eat while I am on

the computer. I am trying to muster the willingness to not eat while

otherwise distracted (reading, TV, etc.) But it feels like punishment

to me. I know it's not, but that's how it feels.

I would love some feedback or suggestions from you guys.

Thanks so much!

Heidi in KY

[Guest guest]

Hi, Kate,

I can't speak for Abby, but I've found that now I never want the TV on when I eat, whereas before I ALWAYS turned it on when I ate. I've gotten to really like paying attention to my food--I can actually taste and enjoy it, which itself is filling (satisfying), just being able to taste it. Maybe I'm just one of those people who can't multitask when food's involved, but I found to my surprise that the food tastes so much better if I'm actually looking at it, smelling it, and feeling how it feels going into my body. I just ate a poached egg and toast--can't tell you how good it tasted, whereas in days before IE I probably would've considered that a pretty yucky meal, something I ate because it was relatively low in calories. So, yeah, I can understand Abby saying she'd hate eating in a distracted way, because I now know how much better food tastes when you actually concentrate on eating.

Speaking of multitasking, there was a recent study that showed that people who think they can multitask very well, actually can't--they simply do one of the two things poorly or more slowly. I suspect when I eat and watch a movie, I'm not able to taste the food, just shovel it in. Who knew? I always *thought* I was enjoying it, but it really was nothing at all like what I experience with food now.

All best,

Laurie

Kate wrote:

>>>I find eating without distractions (especially TV) way more hard than I ever thought. It feels like punishment to me too, although I have several experiences where I only ate half of what I normally would because I realized I was actually full when I paid attention.

I can't imagine getting to a point where you hate doing it -- can you say more?

Kate<<<

Hi Heidi,

Welcome to the group! And congratulations on your recovery from bulemia! That is amazing!

I know what you mean about it feeling like punishment to give up eating while distracted. I think it's an awesome first step that you committed to not eating while watching TV... and I think that's exactly the right way to go about it. Baby steps. I focused on one meal a day to start with. So I committed to eating dinner without distraction. When I felt comfortable with that, I moved on to lunch, etc.

The other thing I can tell you is that, at least for me, it stopped feeling like punishment pretty quickly, and started being my preference. I watched a movie while eating dinner a couple of weeks ago, and realized after the fact that I had hated it! And this is from a person that never, ever ate without distraction before.

The other thing to keep in mind is that this isn't a rule; it's a goal. You don't have to do it 100% of the time. But you may be surprised to find, after an initial period of discomfort, that you prefer it!

Glad to have you with us. Let us know how it goes.

Best,

Abby

[Guest guest]

By the way, I mis-typed before. I meant to say that it was an awesome first step to commit to not eating while using the computer, not watching TV. I think the TV is harder to give up than the computer so I think it's smart that you started with the computer. Build your confidence with one thing before moving to the second, harder thing.

I saw a quote somewhere that said something along the lines of, for those of us with problems with overeating, it's ironic that we think about food all the time... except when we are eating it! then we go into a trance and just shovel it in. 

it has helped me to know that there is a serotonin release with eating, which is one of the reasons that eating is pleasurable, even when we're not particularly hungry. but we will enjoy the food EVEN MORE if we slow down and savor it. i find that watching TV while eating increases the hazy high of the serotonin release, but lessens the actual satisfaction... which is why i tend to overeat when i'm distracted. 

abby

 

Hi, Kate,

 

I can't speak for Abby, but I've found that now I never want the TV on when I eat, whereas before I ALWAYS turned it on when I ate. I've gotten to really like paying attention to my food--I can actually taste and enjoy it, which itself is filling (satisfying), just being able to taste it. Maybe I'm just one of those people who can't multitask when food's involved, but I found to my surprise that the food tastes so much better if I'm actually looking at it, smelling it, and feeling how it feels going into my body. I just ate a poached egg and toast--can't tell you how good it tasted, whereas in days before IE I probably would've considered that a pretty yucky meal, something I ate because it was relatively low in calories. So, yeah, I can understand Abby saying she'd hate eating in a distracted way, because I now know how much better food tastes when you actually concentrate on eating.

 

Speaking of multitasking, there was a recent study that showed that people who think they can multitask very well, actually can't--they simply do one of the two things poorly or more slowly. I suspect when I eat and watch a movie, I'm not able to taste the food, just shovel it in. Who knew? I always *thought* I was enjoying it, but it really was nothing at all like what I experience with food now.

 

All best,

Laurie

Kate wrote:

 

>>>I find eating without distractions (especially TV) way more hard than I ever thought. It feels like punishment to me too, although I have several experiences where I only ate half of what I normally would because I realized I was actually full when I paid attention.

I can't imagine getting to a point where you hate doing it -- can you say more?

Kate<<<

Hi Heidi,

Welcome to the group! And congratulations on your recovery from bulemia! That is amazing!

I know what you mean about it feeling like punishment to give up eating while distracted. I think it's an awesome first step that you committed to not eating while watching TV... and I think that's exactly the right way to go about it. Baby steps. I focused on one meal a day to start with. So I committed to eating dinner without distraction. When I felt comfortable with that, I moved on to lunch, etc.

The other thing I can tell you is that, at least for me, it stopped feeling like punishment pretty quickly, and started being my preference. I watched a movie while eating dinner a couple of weeks ago, and realized after the fact that I had hated it! And this is from a person that never, ever ate without distraction before.

The other thing to keep in mind is that this isn't a rule; it's a goal. You don't have to do it 100% of the time. But you may be surprised to find, after an initial period of discomfort, that you prefer it!

Glad to have you with us. Let us know how it goes.

Best,

Abby

--

[Guest guest]

I struggle with this too, Barb! But it led to a major ah-ha moment for me. That it's not so much the food I want, as it is the numbing out. And the formula for that for me is food+TV or magazine or internet. Food on it's own is not nearly so interesting, because it doesn't produce the sedating effect that I get from the combination of the two.

In a way, it was liberating to realize this, because it meant I didn't "love" food quite as much as I thought I did. Still however, it is a struggle for me to make the time to eat with no distractions. At work for instance, most of my co-workers eat at our desks. So it almost feels weird to do something different from that.

Thanks for raising this area of discussion!Alice

Subject: eating without distractionsTo: "intuitive eating" <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Wednesday, November 24, 2010, 5:09 AM

Geneen Roth suggests eating without distrations and I have been really resisting doing it. This morning I did however eat my breakfast alone, with nothing, no computer, no tv, no book. I thought I would post my main discovery - that I didn't want as much food. So am I resisting eating without distrations so I can eat more?Any Thoughts?Barb

[Guest guest]

Barb,

Part of my enjoyment of eating while distracted is definitely that I can eat more! Or at least, that joyful numbing lasts longer if I don't notice my fulness right away! And I do think there's some sort of pleasurable serotonin release while eating, why else would we overeat?, so of course we want to continue as long as we can!

Best,

Abby

 

I struggle with this too, Barb!  But it led to a major ah-ha moment for me.  That it's not so much the food I want, as it is the numbing out.  And the formula for that for me is food+TV or magazine or internet.  Food on it's own is not nearly so interesting, because it doesn't produce the sedating effect that I get from the combination of the two.

 

In a way, it was liberating to realize this, because it meant I didn't " love " food quite as much as I thought I did.  Still however, it is a struggle for me to make the time to eat with no distractions.  At work for instance, most of my co-workers eat at our desks.  So it almost feels weird to do something different from that.

 

Thanks for raising this area of discussion!Alice

Subject: eating without distractions

To: " intuitive eating " <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Wednesday, November 24, 2010, 5:09 AM

>>>> Geneen Roth suggests eating without distrations and I have been really resisting doing it. ...

[Guest guest]

I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat without distraction, I eat far less, and sometimes choose not to eat at all when otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told her that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from food, I said comfort. Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from and comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am incredibly lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I should sit at the table with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed

at first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me feel less afraid. I've tried it a couple times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at eating at the table (without distraction) and would love to hear what others think!

Sara

[Guest guest]

Hi, Alice and Barb,

I've had this discovery, too: that I don't want to eat as much if I eat when not distracted. And that numbing out was what I was really after, not the food. For this reason I've allowed myself to unplug in ways other than eating, or rather without also eating. I let myself watch mindless TV from time to time. I think I used to let myself do that only when eating, telling myself it was ok because I was accomplishing something else at the same time (eating). Now I tell myself that everyone needs to unplug sometimes, and give myself permission to do just that.

I think I also used food as an excuse to take a break. Now I just take a break when I feel I need one.

I have always wondered at the work culture that has people eating at their desks instead of taking a real lunch break. Do we do that because we don't want to interact with our coworkers, or because it's encouraged as being more productive? Many people at my workplace do this, too, even though I know for a fact that my boss and his family (four of the family work there) would rather have the rest of us eating with them in the lunch room. I've never found it pleasant to eat at my desk, so usually go out to lunch with a coworker with whom I'm closer. It's expensive, but I hate planning and packing a lunch and eating at my desk, which I can't help but think is teaming with germs from all the manuscripts that cross it, manuscripts that have been handled by several other people besides me. Ugh.

Laurie

eating without distractions

To: "intuitive eating" <IntuitiveEating_Support >

Date: Wednesday, November 24, 2010, 5:09 AM

Geneen Roth suggests eating without distrations and I have been really resisting doing it. This morning I did however eat my breakfast alone, with nothing, no computer, no tv, no book. I thought I would post my main discovery - that I didn't want as much food. So am I resisting eating without distrations so I can eat more?

Any Thoughts?

Barb

[Guest guest]

Honestly this is one of the toughest guidelines for me. I really dislike eating without distraction! But I'm learning a lot from what you all are writing!Jody Sent from my iPhone

I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat without distraction, I eat far less, and sometimes choose not to eat at all when otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told her that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from food, I said comfort. Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from and comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am incredibly lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I should sit at the table with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed

at first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me feel less afraid. I've tried it a couple times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at eating at the table (without distraction) and would love to hear what others think!

Sara

[Guest guest]

Sara,

I too have always been a person to either eat in front of the TV and/or read at

the table and sometimes even at the computer. For me too, it's a lonliness

thing.

I have experimented quite a bit with all the different concepts - mindfully

eating at the table doing nothing else but eating, eating in front of the TV,

eating while reading and eating at the computer.

Here is my conclusion in my 3 1/2 almost 4 years of practicing IE:

I believe that one can eat mindfully while doing something else. For me, eating

while doing nothing else was diet mentality - it was a should I placed on myself

and I felt angry and rebellious and therefore had trouble doing it. So I gave

myself permission to eat while doing something else, but practiced on stopping

every few bites and checking in with myself, asking questions like where am I on

the hunger scale? Am I satisfied? Am I still hungry? Am I full? etc.

PS Getting new carpet helps. I recently got new carpet and set a rule for

myself and my son of no eating in the living room or at the computer, we must

eat at the table. I catch myself starting to walk into the living room with a

plate of food and sometimes it is a battle to sit at the kitchen table. I can

still watch TV, but it is across the room and I have to turn my body to see it.

It has been a challenge but I do think having a designated eating spot does

help. I definately don't snack on the things like chips and the like nearly as

much. I do still read quite a bit at the table.

Hope this helps.

Alana

>

> I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat without

distraction, I eat far less, and sometimes choose not to eat at all when

otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told

her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in

the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told her

that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from

food, I said comfort. Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from and

comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am incredibly

lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the

loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I

should sit at the table with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed at

first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me feel

less afraid. I've tried it a couple

> times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at eating

at the table (without distraction) and would love to hear what others think!

>

> Sara

>

[Guest guest]

Sara,

thank you for this post. It made me take a look at why I hate eating without

distractions. The reason I hate eating at the table is that it links me back to

childhood memories (subconscious ones) of how horrible it used to be to eat at

the table with my step-dad because he was a tyrant & meals became a source of

stress for me. Also, even though there are people around me during the day, I

think that there is a sort of loneliness for me, too, and because we all seem to

have problems eating together at the table, I still feel the loneliness.

Zoning out is another reason that I eat while distracted. GEEEEEsh! Those are a

lot of reasons to work on.

mj

>

> I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat without

distraction, I eat far less, and sometimes choose not to eat at all when

otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told

her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in

the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told her

that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from

food, I said comfort. Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from and

comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am incredibly

lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the

loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I

should sit at the table with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed at

first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me feel

less afraid. I've tried it a couple

> times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at eating

at the table (without distraction) and would love to hear what others think!

>

> Sara

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Alana,

This helps. I'm having a bad day and feeling really hopeless. I FORCED myself to sit at the table this morning and I hated it so much I was experiencing waves of sadness and fear. I only ate half my food - not because i was full or satisfied but because I felt so awful.

I've recently realized that I've created another huge roadblock for myself. If I don't eat healthy food I torture myself. The further away I am from raw/organic, the more I feel like I'm killing myself. Then I binge. I can binge on raw/organic nuts or Dairy Queen. I met someone who is orthoexic and I see that this is not helpful (only eats obsessively healthy). I have all the words and information and can answer all the questions but I seem to be going backwards Not as cheerful as usual,Audrey

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thu, November 25, 2010 7:18:40 AMSubject: Re: Eating without distractions

Sara,I too have always been a person to either eat in front of the TV and/or read at the table and sometimes even at the computer. For me too, it's a lonliness thing.I have experimented quite a bit with all the different concepts - mindfully eating at the table doing nothing else but eating, eating in front of the TV, eating while reading and eating at the computer.Here is my conclusion in my 3 1/2 almost 4 years of practicing IE:I believe that one can eat mindfully while doing something else. For me, eating while doing nothing else was diet mentality - it was a should I placed on myself and I felt angry and rebellious and therefore had trouble doing it. So I gave myself permission to eat while doing something else, but practiced on stopping every few bites and checking in with myself, asking questions like where am I on the hunger scale? Am I satisfied? Am I still hungry? Am I full? etc.PS Getting new carpet helps. I

recently got new carpet and set a rule for myself and my son of no eating in the living room or at the computer, we must eat at the table. I catch myself starting to walk into the living room with a plate of food and sometimes it is a battle to sit at the kitchen table. I can still watch TV, but it is across the room and I have to turn my body to see it. It has been a challenge but I do think having a designated eating spot does help. I definately don't snack on the things like chips and the like nearly as much. I do still read quite a bit at the table.Hope this helps.Alana>> I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat without distraction, I eat far less, and sometimes

choose not to eat at all when otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told her that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from food, I said comfort. Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from and comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am incredibly lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I should sit at the table with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed at first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me feel less afraid. I've tried it a couple> times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at eating at the table (without

distraction) and would love to hear what others think!> > Sara>

[Guest guest]

I say ditto to this.

For me, I find that eating without distractions is boring. As a result, I eat

faster so I can get back to doing something interesting. We talk about making

eating enjoyable, why would I want to do something that is so unenjoyable? I've

spent a lifetime of dieting trying to stick to one rule or another, I'm not

beating myself up about eating in front of the tv.

Personally, I don't really see how eating with tv is different than eating with

someone else and having a conversation - IMO, it's much easier to check out when

doing this than when watching tv, but no one ever says eat all your meals by

yourself! (Might be feeling a bit rebellious today! LOL) Besides, I feel that

if I do check in with myself while eating, I will be able to notice signals.

Maybe one day I won't want the distraction, but for now, IE has enough other

challenges that I'd rather focus on instead of beating myself up over something

I'm not altogether convinced is actually even a problem.

Josie

> >

> > I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat without

distraction, I eat far less, and sometimes choose not to eat at all when

otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told

her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in

the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told her

that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from

food, I said comfort. Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from and

comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am incredibly

lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the

loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I

should sit at the table with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed at

first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me feel

less afraid. I've tried it a couple

> > times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at eating

at the table (without distraction) and would love to hear what others think!

> >

> > Sara

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I think one big difference between eating with someone else present and eating in front of the TV is that I at least never binge when someone else is present, whereas I can't count the number of times I've binged while eating in front of the TV.

Laurie

Re: Eating without distractions

I say ditto to this.

For me, I find that eating without distractions is boring. As a result, I eat faster so I can get back to doing something interesting. We talk about making eating enjoyable, why would I want to do something that is so unenjoyable? I've spent a lifetime of dieting trying to stick to one rule or another, I'm not beating myself up about eating in front of the tv.

Personally, I don't really see how eating with tv is different than eating with someone else and having a conversation - IMO, it's much easier to check out when doing this than when watching tv, but no one ever says eat all your meals by yourself! (Might be feeling a bit rebellious today! LOL) Besides, I feel that if I do check in with myself while eating, I will be able to notice signals. Maybe one day I won't want the distraction, but for now, IE has enough other challenges that I'd rather focus on instead of beating myself up over something I'm not altogether convinced is actually even a problem.

Josie

> >

> > I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat without distraction, I eat far less, and sometimes choose not to eat at all when otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told her that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from food, I said comfort. Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from and comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am incredibly lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I should sit at the table with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed at first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me feel less afraid. I've tried it a couple

> > times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at eating at the table (without distraction) and would love to hear what others think!

> >

> > Sara

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Audrey, I really struggle with "healthy enough?" mantra that goes on in my head. My father was obsessed with being healthy and I felt nothing I ate would ever be good enough for him. I still feel his stare as I eat, even though I'm an adult and he's gone, died at 66 (eating healthy didn't help a whole lot). This is part of the reason I feel I need to eat IE, I feel I first need to accept what I eat, feeling guilty didn't make be eat healthier, it was one factor in making me gain 100+ pounds. So if and when I get to the point where I can so this choice is better than that one without feeling I have to eat "perfect" then I will start considering health in my food choices until then I'm doing just accepting everything as good enough.Barb Re: Eating without distractions

Sara,I too have always been a person to either eat in front of the TV and/or read at the table and sometimes even at the computer. For me too, it's a lonliness thing.I have experimented quite a bit with all the different concepts - mindfully eating at the table doing nothing else but eating, eating in front of the TV, eating while reading and eating at the computer.Here is my conclusion in my 3 1/2 almost 4 years of practicing IE:I believe that one can eat mindfully while doing something else. For me, eating while doing nothing else was diet mentality - it was a should I placed on myself and I felt angry and rebellious and therefore had trouble doing it. So I gave myself permission to eat while doing something else, but practiced on stopping every few bites and checking in with myself, asking questions like where am I on the hunger scale? Am I satisfied? Am I still hungry? Am I full? etc.PS Getting new carpet helps. Irecently got new carpet and set a rule for myself and my son of no eating in the living room or at the computer, we must eat at the table. I catch myself starting to walk into the living room with a plate of food and sometimes it is a battle to sit at the kitchen table. I can still watch TV, but it is across the room and I have to turn my body to see it. It has been a challenge but I do think having a designated eating spot does help. I definately don't snack on the things like chips and the like nearly as much. I do still read quite a bit at the table.Hope this helps.Alana>> I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat without distraction, I eat far less, and sometimeschoose not to eat at all when otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told her that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from food, I said comfort. Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from and comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am incredibly lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I should sit at the table with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed at first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me feel less afraid. I've tried it a couple> times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at eating at the table (withoutdistraction) and would love to hear what others think!> > Sara>

[Guest guest]

I see eating without distraction - for me - as a way to discover things I am thinking/believing, not a magical rule to follow. I need to find out the source of why I gained all this weight and I if I am thinking about the book, tv, or computer I am not discovering what I need to change. I don't think it needs to be every meal and I think some of those things I discover I will not be ready to change. Thank you all for your input it has been very helpful to me. I count this group as a blessing.Barb Re: Eating without distractions

I say ditto to this. For me, I find that eating without distractions is boring. As a result, I eat faster so I can get back to doing something interesting. We talk about making eating enjoyable, why would I want to do something that is so unenjoyable? I've spent a lifetime of dieting trying to stick to one rule or another, I'm not beating myself up about eating in front of the tv. Personally, I don't really see how eating with tv is different than eating with someone else and having a conversation - IMO, it's much easier to check out when doing this than when watching tv, but no one ever says eat all your meals by yourself! (Might be feeling a bit rebellious today! LOL) Besides, I feel that if I do check in with myself while eating, I will be able to notice signals. Maybe one day I won't want the distraction, but for now, IE has enough other challenges that I'd rather focus on instead of beating myself up over something I'm not altogether convinced is actually even a problem. Josie> >> > I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat without distraction, I eat far less, and sometimes choose not to eat at all when otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told her that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from food, I said comfort. Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from and comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am incredibly lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I should sit at the table with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed at first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me feel less afraid. I've tried it a couple> > times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at eating at the table (without distraction) and would love to hear what others think!> > > > Sara> >>

[Guest guest]

Hi, all,

I remembered last night after turning off the computer something that I knew Geneen Roth had said about distracted eating, specifically eating in the car, to which she says she gets the most resistance. What she says is that eating while distraction is the primary way we "hide eating from ourselves."

I know this is true for me, because I truly remember every bite of things that I eat when I'm not watching TV or doing work or reading email; I can't say this is true when I eating while doing anything else, no matter how hard I try to check in with myself. Basically, I remember the few bites when I'm taking the time to check in.

And when I am really aware of the food, I eat less because it's truly more satisfying. I only feel bored when eating without distractions if I'm not really hungry, or eating something I've told myself I "should" eat but don't really want--like leftovers or something healthy when I'm not in the mood for something healthy.

Sometimes I just want to eat more because that's my way of zoning out. So I find good reasons why I don't have to follow this guideline. Jody's post reminded me of my favorite way of getting around this guideline: I say it's too much like all those dieting rules I've suffered through.

Hmmm. If this guideline is too much like a dieting rule, why aren't the others? Calling them "guidelines" could be considered mere symantics. The truth for me is that I don't react as strongly to the other IE guidelines because, frankly, I can more easily "fudge" those. Who's to say if I'm still hungry or not? Easy enough to tell myself I still am. But eating while distracted is like being pregnant--either you are, or you're not.

In short, this guideline, which I resist most adamantly, and against which I can come up with the most "logical" objections, is probably the one to which I need to give most serious consideration.

Ouch. And big sigh.

Laurie

Re: Eating without distractions

I say ditto to this.

For me, I find that eating without distractions is boring. As a result, I eat faster so I can get back to doing something interesting. We talk about making eating enjoyable, why would I want to do something that is so unenjoyable? I've spent a lifetime of dieting trying to stick to one rule or another, I'm not beating myself up about eating in front of the tv.

Personally, I don't really see how eating with tv is different than eating with someone else and having a conversation - IMO, it's much easier to check out when doing this than when watching tv, but no one ever says eat all your meals by yourself! (Might be feeling a bit rebellious today! LOL) Besides, I feel that if I do check in with myself while eating, I will be able to notice signals. Maybe one day I won't want the distraction, but for now, IE has enough other challenges that I'd rather focus on instead of beating myself up over something I'm not altogether convinced is actually even a problem.

Josie

> >

> > I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat without distraction, I eat far less, and sometimes choose not to eat at all when otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told her that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from food, I said comfort. Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from and comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am incredibly lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I should sit at the table with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed at first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me feel less afraid. I've tried it a couple

> > times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at eating at the table (without distraction) and would love to hear what others think!

> >

> > Sara

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Way to go Josie! You are so on the right path with giving yourself permission,

not beating yourself up and throwing out the silly rules we place on ourselves!

Alana

> > >

> > > I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat without

distraction, I eat far less, and sometimes choose not to eat at all when

otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told

her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in

the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told her

that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from

food, I said comfort.  Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from and

comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am incredibly

lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the

loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I

should sit at the table with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed at

first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me feel

less afraid. I've tried it a couple

> > > times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at

eating at the table (without distraction) and would love to hear what others

think!

> > >  

> > > Sara

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

HI

I've learned so much from reading the posts on eating without distractions. The

main thing that stood out for me is that there is no ONE way to do IE, we each

have to figure out what works for ourselves. The guidelines make sense to me but

the eating without distractions is by far the hardest one for me to do. I'm

working on it but it is going to take time. Like someone said, I find it

extremely BORING to eat without the distraction of computer, TV or reading. For

some reason BORING seems to be a word that comes up for me in other areas in my

life. When I am BORED I tend to reach mindlessly for foods even when I am NOT

hungry. I also find that if I just OBSERVE myself while I am eating in front of

the TV, I become aware of just how mindlessly I eat, especially when the show is

interesting to me. Also, I've noticed that if I have the whole bag of veggie

" chips " while doing something else, the bag tends to get empty before I even

realize I've eaten them ALL. If I portion out some of the contents, I generally

end up going back & forth to the pantry or fridge for refills, again & again.

WOW, I didn't realize just how mindless my eating can be until I started to

write about it. Just goes to show that AWARENESS is the key to knowing what is

happening. Geneen said that all the insight in the world will not bring about

change, only ACTION will. So, I guess that tells me that even if I take baby

steps to learning to eat without being distracted, that is the action that will

start the change process. Unfortunately, I am a very impatient person & I need

to remember that I don't have to do it all today, it will take time.

mj

> > > >

> > > > I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat

without distraction, I eat far less, and sometimes choose not to eat at all when

otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told

her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in

the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told her

that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from

food, I said comfort.  Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from and

comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am incredibly

lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the

loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I

should sit at the table with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed at

first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me feel

less afraid. I've tried it a couple

> > > > times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at

eating at the table (without distraction) and would love to hear what others

think!

> > > >  

> > > > Sara

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I think this is true.

I'm just finishing Breaking Free From Emotional Eating (AWESOME book BTW, I

swear Geneen is inside my head!) and in that book, even she says not to blindly

accept everything she says as gospel. We have to take it and see if it makes

sense for us and then decide what to do with it.

The hardest part is trying to figure out if something doesn't work for us

because it's something we " need " to do but don't want to, or if it really just

doesn't work for us. Though, really, I'm not sure it matters. If my goal is to

get to the other side of the wall, I can break through it, dig under it, climb

over it, or go around it. Some ways may take longer than others. But if, at

the end of the day, I get to the other side and that was my goal, does it matter

that I got there in a different way than someone else? I think it only matters

if the way I keep trying isn't getting me there or if I decide that the way I've

chosen is taking too long and that I want to try a different way. Then I might

want to rething my methods. But that's all part of the journey and there's

value in the journey.

Josie

>

> I've learned so much from reading the posts on eating without distractions.

The main thing that stood out for me is that there is no ONE way to do IE, we

each have to figure out what works for ourselves.

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,I'm back after a break, I feel a need to connect with this group....Recently, I got pulled back into the counting game of weight watchers point system but I cannot ignore the teaching of IE and Geneen Roth's work....I can't figure out why I'm pulled away from trusting myself and why I must depend on the system from outside my own intuition. This bugs me. Any ideas?P.S....I hope you are all having a wonderful holiday weekend....Subject: Re: Eating without distractionsTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Friday, November 26, 2010, 7:41

PM

Hi Josie,

I'm also reading Breaking Free. I love it. I read the chapter on exercise last night & it just makes so much sense, as does most of her stuff (to me at least). And YES, she is in my head, too. And I can't think of a nicer voice to have in there.

blessings

mj

> >

> > I've learned so much from reading the posts on eating without distractions. The main thing that stood out for me is that there is no ONE way to do IE, we each have to figure out what works for ourselves.

>

[Guest guest]

These posts have been really helpful for me (i am a few days behind!) but I wanted to say when I eat with my family (2 teenagers and husband) i find it stressful and often too distracting - therefore, I eat quickly to "get away" from them. It's not that we have unpleasant interaction or things are rough in my home, it's just more for my exhausted after working all day brain to try to take it all in and filter. In other words, most days I feel sucked dry by work and just want quiet space so I wish I could eat by myself, at least at dinner! I also struggle alot with waiting for full hunger when the family sits down to eat - i find this really frustrating! However, i wonder if I were truly eating from stomach hunger if I would really want to eat. Perhaps

I am frustrated because I want to eat to satsify an emotional need... I'm still new at this..

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thu, November 25, 2010 10:22:52 PMSubject: Re: Eating without distractions

I say ditto to this. For me, I find that eating without distractions is boring. As a result, I eat faster so I can get back to doing something interesting. We talk about making eating enjoyable, why would I want to do something that is so unenjoyable? I've spent a lifetime of dieting trying to stick to one rule or another, I'm not beating myself up about eating in front of the tv. Personally, I don't really see how eating with tv is different than eating with someone else and having a conversation - IMO, it's much easier to check out when doing this than when watching tv, but no one ever says eat all your meals by yourself! (Might be feeling a bit rebellious today! LOL) Besides, I feel that if I do check in with myself while eating, I will be able to notice signals. Maybe one day I won't want the distraction, but for now, IE has enough other challenges that I'd rather focus on instead of beating myself up over something I'm not

altogether convinced is actually even a problem. Josie> >> > I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat without distraction, I eat far less, and sometimes choose not to eat at all when otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told her that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from food, I said comfort. Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from and comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am incredibly lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I should sit at the table

with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed at first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me feel less afraid. I've tried it a couple> > times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at eating at the table (without distraction) and would love to hear what others think!> > > > Sara> >>

[Guest guest]

I saw an interesting short article in a magazine at the gym that talked about 3

types of hunger:

1. the hunger in our head that tells us " it's 5 o'clock time for dinner " , or " I

always get a snack when I go past the cupboard with the snacks in them "

2. the hunger in the heart which is brought on by emotional eating to numb our

feelings (both the comfortable ones & the uncomfortable ones)

3. the hunger in the stomach which is the only one that really counts as hunger.

It made a lot of sense to me & is very easy to remember & pinpoint as to exactly

which one is operating at any particular time.

mj

> > >

> > > I have struggled with the exact same thing! I KNOW that when I eat without

> >distraction, I eat far less, and sometimes choose not to eat at all when

> >otherwise I would have. I've discussed ths with my counselor, and I even told

> >her that when I tell myself that I can't eat distractedly, I lose interest in

> >the food. She asked me what I get from my distractors- tv or reading. I told

her

> >that I get distraction and entertainment. When she asked me what I get from

> >food, I said comfort.  Then she asked me what I need to be distracted from

and

> >comforted for. I am at home alone all day, and I realized that I am

incredibly

> >lonely. When I sit at the table to eat by myself without distractions, the

> >loneliness really sets in. So we decided that, when I'm physically hungry, I

> >should sit at the table with the stuffed bear that I sleep with. We laughed

at

> >first thinking about it, but the thought of having the bear there made me

feel

> >less afraid. I've tried it a couple

> > > times, and it did help. Honestly, though, I'm still not very good at

eating

> >at the table (without distraction) and would love to hear what others think!

> > >  

> > > Sara

> > >

> >

>