Re: Illness/Injury: How Nada Reacted to YOU?

[Guest guest]

I can relate to the extreme nada behaviors. My nada was the same, either all or

nothing. Nada used to constantly deny if I was hurt or sick depending on her

mood. Then for a minor thing, she'd send me to the Doctor or insist on

unnecessary antibiotics, for nothing. Yet if I was hurt badly she could care

less.

The worst was when I was really hurt and she would yell at me. I severely

sprained my ankle sledding when I was five or so and she refused to ice,

elevate, or allow me crutches. I walked on that mangled ankle and it has never

been the same since. My right foot still curls inwards at a funny angle.

Actually I think I remember her laughing at how badly I was limping and telling

everybody what happened but I don't remember her helping me in any way.

Throughout school if there was a kid on crutches I always wondered how those

kids managed to get the crutches when they were hurt. It was a mystery to me.

Another time I smashed my fingers in an old wooden window pane that slid down

fast, and I mean SMASHED my fingers to bits. Blood, swelling, finger nails

fallen off, crushed bone, awful just awful. I was about 7 or so. I screamed

bloody murder and cried, OBVIOUSLY, and nada got so frustrated at me that she

kept yelling at me and snapping with temper outbursts.

I learned very early on to stifle my pain and shut the hell up, suffer in

silence. It's better than a nada rage whilst in pain. She waited until at least

a day, or even several days to take me to the Doctor. All they did was soak my

hand in disinfecting fluid. No xrays, nada didn't insist either. I think the

only reason she took me in was because my hand was in such bad shape that it was

evident to the other adults around and nada likely couldn't get away with

neglecting the injury. (we were at the lake with my uncle, aunt, and cousins) My

right middle finger is permanently flat and the last joint (tip) is much larger

than the left with a funny round spot near the joint. Clearly the bone was

squished owwwww!

I have memories of many, many similar incidents. The golden child (eldest boy)

however; he was a delicate flower for which nada would move heaven and earth to

pamper. Nada also facilitated his violent abuse towards me, the younger sibling

for years and years. He was all that mattered to her.

Just recently I was preparing for a cooking event at work and dropped a giant

knife on my foot and impailed my toe. I made the mistake of breifly mentioning

it to nada (I had to since she asked about the cooking event that I missed

because I was in the hospital patching up the toe). I got a blank reaction,

nothing. No empathy, questions about if the toe will be ok, nothing, blank. Nada

however talks endlessly about her latest arthritic woe, pain, discomfort,

procedure, etc. Endlessly. I guess some things never change.

I just realized I am kind of accident prone! LOL

[Guest guest]

I also remember my mother downplaying my injuries. I used to play catcher on my

high school softball team and one time a girl slid into my leg. My knee snapped

backward, I was in intense pain, and could barely walk. My coach was very

concerned about me, but when my mother picked me up, she told me I was faking

it. She made me clean the kitchen and did not help me make arrangements to

sleep--I had a loft bed at the time. She grudgingly took me to a clinic the

next day, warning me that there'd better be something wrong with me. I actually

remember praying that the doctor would find something and then I realized how

ridiculous that was and amended my prayer to ask that the doctor would find

something fixable wrong with me (still ridiculous, I know).

>

> The worst was when I was really hurt and she would yell at me. I severely

sprained my ankle sledding when I was five or so and she refused to ice,

elevate, or allow me crutches. I walked on that mangled ankle and it has never

been the same since. My right foot still curls inwards at a funny angle.

Actually I think I remember her laughing at how badly I was limping and telling

everybody what happened but I don't remember her helping me in any way.

Throughout school if there was a kid on crutches I always wondered how those

kids managed to get the crutches when they were hurt. It was a mystery to me.

>

[Guest guest]

yes, I can relate to this...our illness or injuries always seemed to make

nada angry..was it time she wasn't in the spotlight ? or just the

inconvenience of having to take a child to the dr/hospital when she'd rather

sit and watch her soaps ?? I'll never know ,but like you, unless I was

actually DYING better not let nada know your hurt or sick...my sister had to

take me to the hospital when I was a kid because I got stung by 2 bees in

the neck and was having trouble breathing...nada decided I was faking...I'm

allergic to bee stings !!

Jackie

I can relate to the extreme nada behaviors. My nada was the same, either all

or nothing. Nada used to constantly deny if I was hurt or sick depending on

her mood. Then for a minor thing, she'd send me to the Doctor or insist on

unnecessary antibiotics, for nothing. Yet if I was hurt badly she could care

less.

The worst was when I was really hurt and she would yell at me. I severely

sprained my ankle sledding when I was five or so and she refused to ice,

elevate, or allow me crutches. I walked on that mangled ankle and it has

never been the same since. My right foot still curls inwards at a funny

angle. Actually I think I remember her laughing at how badly I was limping

and telling everybody what happened but I don't remember her helping me in

any way. Throughout school if there was a kid on crutches I always wondered

how those kids managed to get the crutches when they were hurt. It was a

mystery to me.

Another time I smashed my fingers in an old wooden window pane that slid

down fast, and I mean SMASHED my fingers to bits. Blood, swelling, finger

nails fallen off, crushed bone, awful just awful. I was about 7 or so. I

screamed bloody murder and cried, OBVIOUSLY, and nada got so frustrated at

me that she kept yelling at me and snapping with temper outbursts.

I learned very early on to stifle my pain and shut the hell up, suffer in

silence. It's better than a nada rage whilst in pain. She waited until at

least a day, or even several days to take me to the Doctor. All they did was

soak my hand in disinfecting fluid. No xrays, nada didn't insist either. I

think the only reason she took me in was because my hand was in such bad

shape that it was evident to the other adults around and nada likely

couldn't get away with neglecting the injury. (we were at the lake with my

uncle, aunt, and cousins) My right middle finger is permanently flat and the

last joint (tip) is much larger than the left with a funny round spot near

the joint. Clearly the bone was squished owwwww!

I have memories of many, many similar incidents. The golden child (eldest

boy) however; he was a delicate flower for which nada would move heaven and

earth to pamper. Nada also facilitated his violent abuse towards me, the

younger sibling for years and years. He was all that mattered to her.

Just recently I was preparing for a cooking event at work and dropped a

giant knife on my foot and impailed my toe. I made the mistake of breifly

mentioning it to nada (I had to since she asked about the cooking event that

I missed because I was in the hospital patching up the toe). I got a blank

reaction, nothing. No empathy, questions about if the toe will be ok,

nothing, blank. Nada however talks endlessly about her latest arthritic woe,

pain, discomfort, procedure, etc. Endlessly. I guess some things never

change.

I just realized I am kind of accident prone! LOL