Re: My Journey Begins!

[Guest guest]

Sounds like you have come a long way.  I too hate my nada for robbing me of my

childhood.  Nada was a FOG (fear, obligation, guilt)  machine.  I too have a

great husband & 4 grown kids and grandkids.  I too decided the last thing I

wanted to be was anything like nada.  Knowing she has diagnosed BPD explained

lots to me.  I could never understand why I was not the " good daughter "   when

I bent over backwards for her. and have resented every minute.  I had spent way

to much time on Nada.  No more  I am slowly getting my life back.  Going to

CODA support groups,  Reading, posting.  All this helps. 

Blessings,

Subject: My Journey Begins!

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Monday, July 26, 2010, 5:03 PM

 

Hello,    I happened to  have come accross your site while searching for a

book on Personality Disorders at Barns & Nobel.  I thought, perhaps

It would be healing to hear the stories of others  who have lived with

someone with PD.   I think my journey began a long time ago as a

young child when I told my mom " I wish I had a happy mom. "   Things were

different in our family of two girls, two boys and a mom and dad.   I hope I

can put my thoughts down on paper and someone can undertand:    " I'm so

sorry, I hate my mother! "

So here goes;  After a family reunion with my late father's side of the

family, I have found that my mother has and continues to lie about the

relationships she has shared with everyone.  I guess this was no big surprise

for me or my sister because our mom has spent her life time poisoning everyone

against eachother.   It's true, no one was exempt or immune.    There is

not a soul on earth that could please her, and she used religion, minipulation,

love and anger to keep us all in tow.   Does this sound familiar to anyone?

We, including my father, never new what to expect when we got home from school

or work.

It' was a game of " She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not. "   We just had to substitute

the name continually, and keep up with the changes.   I'ts a wonder we made it

through those days.

But I want to tell you that I'm not a basket case and have spent MY life making

sure I did not follow her path.  I have a great husband and 3 kids and we all

just adore each other!

(no...... it's not that fluffy, it's hard work)   What I really need is some

coping skills to handle the aftermath of my visits with Mom.   I hope someone

can understand that after a visit with her I feel like I've had the blood sucked

out me and left numb and empty.     I'm thankful for my family because they

usually quickly fill me up again and I'm good to go.  I'm hear to listen and

learn, and hopefully " pay it forward "  to someone else that is

hurting.      Thank You In Advance !                NaNa

Banana   

[Guest guest]

Welcome- may you find insight and hope on this wonderful board.

I am glad to here you made your way out of craziness-

We all have such similiar stories- I know that feeling of she loves me- she

loves me not- the lying and yes at times hating your mother.

This road is not easy and I feel somedays- I have moved forward- then other

days- I am back where I started from- but I know at one time I didn't even

realize this kind of relationship with my mother was wrong and unhealthy- so

realizing that is huge progress.

Keep on your journey- and stay healthy and happy. Keep reading and posting!

Malinda

>

>

> Hello,    I happened to  have come accross your site while searching for a

book on Personality Disorders at Barns & Nobel.  I thought, perhaps It would be

healing to hear the stories of others  who have lived with someone with PD.   I

think my journey began a long time ago as a young child when I told my mom " I

wish I had a happy mom. "   Things were different in our family of two girls, two

boys and a mom and dad.   I hope I can put my thoughts down on paper and someone

can undertand:    " I'm so sorry, I hate my mother! "

> So here goes;  After a family reunion with my late father's side of the

family, I have found that my mother has and continues to lie about the

relationships she has shared with everyone.  I guess this was no big surprise

for me or my sister because our mom has spent her life time poisoning everyone

against eachother.   It's true, no one was exempt or immune.    There is not a

soul on earth that could please her, and she used religion, minipulation, love

and anger to keep us all in tow.   Does this sound familiar to anyone?

> We, including my father, never new what to expect when we got home from school

or work.

> It' was a game of " She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not. "   We just had to substitute

the name continually, and keep up with the changes.   I'ts a wonder we made it

through those days.

> But I want to tell you that I'm not a basket case and have spent MY life

making sure I did not follow her path.  I have a great husband and 3 kids and we

all just adore each other!

> (no...... it's not that fluffy, it's hard work)   What I really need is some

coping skills to handle the aftermath of my visits with Mom.   I hope someone

can understand that after a visit with her I feel like I've had the blood sucked

out me and left numb and empty.     I'm thankful for my family because they

usually quickly fill me up again and I'm good to go.  I'm hear to listen and

learn, and hopefully " pay it forward "  to someone else that is hurting.     

Thank You In Advance !                NaNa Banana   

>

>

[Guest guest]

I loved how you describe it, every day being a game of 'she loves me, she loves

me not'. isn't that just the way it is? it really made me smile. Welcome, I have

gained so much from just reading reading reading, sometimes I feel guilty

because I know what people are relating is very painful for them personally but

it is such a relief to read their sharing and know that I am not alone in

dealing with 'the crazy'. Hugs.

>

>

> Hello,    I happened to  have come accross your site while searching for a

book on Personality Disorders at Barns & Nobel.  I thought, perhaps It would be

healing to hear the stories of others  who have lived with someone with PD.   I

think my journey began a long time ago as a young child when I told my mom " I

wish I had a happy mom. "   Things were different in our family of two girls, two

boys and a mom and dad.   I hope I can put my thoughts down on paper and someone

can undertand:    " I'm so sorry, I hate my mother! "

> So here goes;  After a family reunion with my late father's side of the

family, I have found that my mother has and continues to lie about the

relationships she has shared with everyone.  I guess this was no big surprise

for me or my sister because our mom has spent her life time poisoning everyone

against eachother.   It's true, no one was exempt or immune.    There is not a

soul on earth that could please her, and she used religion, minipulation, love

and anger to keep us all in tow.   Does this sound familiar to anyone?

> We, including my father, never new what to expect when we got home from school

or work.

> It' was a game of " She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not. "   We just had to substitute

the name continually, and keep up with the changes.   I'ts a wonder we made it

through those days.

> But I want to tell you that I'm not a basket case and have spent MY life

making sure I did not follow her path.  I have a great husband and 3 kids and we

all just adore each other!

> (no...... it's not that fluffy, it's hard work)   What I really need is some

coping skills to handle the aftermath of my visits with Mom.   I hope someone

can understand that after a visit with her I feel like I've had the blood sucked

out me and left numb and empty.     I'm thankful for my family because they

usually quickly fill me up again and I'm good to go.  I'm hear to listen and

learn, and hopefully " pay it forward "  to someone else that is hurting.     

Thank You In Advance !                NaNa Banana   

>

>