Guest guest Posted September 11, 2010 Report Share Posted September 11, 2010 The one my nada told me was " I made you, I can do what I want with you. " Yes, she actually said this out loud the day I was about 15 or 16 and she grabbed my pubic area as I walked by. I got upset, she got angry. Apparently she used to do that when I was a baby to " tickle " me. Thank God I don't remember that but trying that crap on your teenage daughter is sick and stupid. > > Hello, > > I could use some help. Growing up the rules of living with nada were not > stated verbally but understood. I am having a hard time putting them into > words. Can you think of any rules that a BPD person would create if they > spoke them out loud? The most I can come up with is " mother always comes > first " . Thanks. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2010 Report Share Posted September 11, 2010 , you captured my fada's rants in a nutshell! Wow! I've been trying to recreate his crazy rants in my mind, but I think my brain shut the memories out to protect me, haha. The thing that my fada always actually said was " do what I say, when I say, how I say. " I " m going to give that an addenum. " Do what I say, when I say, how I say, even when it's crazy or irrational. " Oh, here's another one. " It's not me; it's you. " On Sat, Sep 11, 2010 at 9:14 AM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > Yeah, shame for existing. I feel that. I remember saying to my brother > " what > did I do to you? " and he would say every time " you were born! " > > Amazing accuracy because apparently all hell broke loose when I was born > and > nada saw it as an afront to brother's existence. > > Yeah who's fault is it that I was born? Who made that decision? not me, I > wasn't even a fetus yet. > > Shame for existing. . . thats a big one. Do you ever wonder if nada feels > that way too? or do they cast out those feelings and paint them on us? > > > > > > > > > The one my nada told me was " I made you, I can do what I want with you. " > > Yes, she actually said this out loud the day I was about 15 or 16 and she > > grabbed my pubic area as I walked by. I got upset, she got angry. > Apparently > > she used to do that when I was a baby to " tickle " me. Thank God I don't > > remember that but trying that crap on your teenage daughter is sick and > > stupid. > > > > > > > > > > > > Hello, > > > > > > I could use some help. Growing up the rules of living with nada were > not > > > stated verbally but understood. I am having a hard time putting them > into > > > words. Can you think of any rules that a BPD person would create if > they > > > spoke them out loud? The most I can come up with is " mother always > comes > > > first " . Thanks. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2010 Report Share Posted September 11, 2010 This is SO my mom, even now! When I was in contact with her she would vehemently deny something she said 5 minutes ago, and how dare I suggest she said that! Very crazy-making. -Annie > > > > Hello, > > > > I could use some help. Growing up the rules of living with nada were not > > stated verbally but understood. I am having a hard time putting them into > > words. Can you think of any rules that a BPD person would create if they > > spoke them out loud? The most I can come up with is " mother always comes > > first " . Thanks. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2010 Report Share Posted September 11, 2010 Wow. Definitely both inappropriate and creepy behavior: the feelings of ownership, and entitlement to violate personal, sexual boundaries with one's own child. The sense of ownership, that one's child is mere property with no rights or feelings, and available for sexual play/exploitation is to me more indicative of narcissistic pd and even antisocial pd than bpd. I've heard a variation on that particular theme, also: " I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it. " -Annie > > > > Hello, > > > > I could use some help. Growing up the rules of living with nada were not > > stated verbally but understood. I am having a hard time putting them into > > words. Can you think of any rules that a BPD person would create if they > > spoke them out loud? The most I can come up with is " mother always comes > > first " . Thanks. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2010 Report Share Posted September 12, 2010 i will punish you until you love me..  don't dare have your own feelings, self or life.. i am always the only one you love or have in your life.. how dare you ask for attention for yourself.. don't ever try to get your needs met, you are here to serve mine..  don't think for yourself.. make me feel good about myself, forgetting you.. take care of my feelings .. try to make me happy despite everything.. and on and on..ann Subject: Re: BPD rules? To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 12:15 AM  (humbly submitting another one): " Your mission in life,which you chose to accept simply by being my child,is to make *me* feel good or better about *me*--even when or especially when that involves making *you* feel bad or worse about *you*. " > > Hello, > > I could use some help. Growing up the rules of living with nada were not > stated verbally but understood. I am having a hard time putting them into > words. Can you think of any rules that a BPD person would create if they > spoke them out loud? The most I can come up with is " mother always comes > first " . Thanks. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2010 Report Share Posted September 12, 2010 Yeah, I hear you on the greedy siblings. that was a daily issue with my bada. And I " m SO FREAKING OVER HIM! He wants to be part of my lilfe now, but I " m NOT FREAKING INTERESTED! You go your way and I'll go mine. You took it too far, bro. > > > i will punish you until you love me.. don't dare have your own feelings, > self or life.. i am always the only one you love or have in your life.. how > dare you ask for attention for yourself.. don't ever try to get your needs > met, you are here to serve mine.. don't think for yourself.. make me feel > good about myself, forgetting you.. take care of my feelings .. try to make > me happy despite everything.. and on and on..ann > > > > From: christine.depizan <christine.depizan@...<christine.depizan%40yahoo.com>> > > > Subject: Re: BPD rules? > To: WTOAdultChildren1 <WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com> > Date: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 12:15 AM > > > > > (humbly submitting another one): " Your mission in life,which you chose to > accept simply by being my child,is to make *me* feel good or better about > *me*--even when or especially when that involves making *you* feel bad or > worse about *you*. " > > > > > > > > > > Hello, > > > > > > I could use some help. Growing up the rules of living with nada were not > > > stated verbally but understood. I am having a hard time putting them into > > > words. Can you think of any rules that a BPD person would create if they > > > spoke them out loud? The most I can come up with is " mother always comes > > > first " . Thanks. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2010 Report Share Posted September 12, 2010 My mum had quite a few spoken rules: The only person in the house allowed to have privacy in this house is me (even now if I visited I can guarantee she would go through my handbag, suitcase etc when Im not around. Just because she can.) You are not allowed to be different from your twin sister - no different friends, no different grades, no different opinions, and if one of you does something to annoy me - both get punished for it. You are two halves OF THE SAME PERSON and will be treated as such. Both of you only have one soul between you. You will never talk about home life to anyone. Ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2010 Report Share Posted September 13, 2010 With apologies to Sgt. Joe Friday and Humphrey Bogart - " You must tell me intimate details of your life so I'll know we're close. However, anything you say to me can and will be used against you (and twisted beyond all recognition to suit my own views) - maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life. " > > > > > > > > > > Hello, > > > > > > > > > > I could use some help. Growing up the rules of living with nada were not > > > > > stated verbally but understood. I am having a hard time putting them into > > > > > words. Can you think of any rules that a BPD person would create if they > > > > > spoke them out loud? The most I can come up with is " mother always comes > > > > > first " . Thanks. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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