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Hi,

I spent the first few weeks after going NC recently with my fada unconciously

assumuming that it will be a temporary thing for a few years and that he will

get help and change the way he is at some point. I think I am in the habit of

thinking this as I have made myself think it half my life out of guilt of

thinking anything else and feeling that it was what he expected me to think. (he

would always say after a bad scene that he was so sorry, he loved me, he

couldn't help it and he'd try not to do it again. How many years later and it's

still going on)

Now I think I was probably just fooling myself out of habit thinking that he

will change. I think that it is not impossible perhaps, but that it would be

safer to assume that I will be NC with him for the rest of his life and that I

can always change plans if things change.

Assuming I will be speaking to him again leaves me way too vulnerable to him

somehow, I'm not quite certain why.

I think that the scariest thing about going NC is the part of one which wants

things to be ok and which wants to get dragged back in again. Anyone found the

same?

Other people, which way round did you think about NC at first? Forever or

temporary? What about now?