New to this group, but I definitely need some coping strategies...

[Guest guest]

What to do with a father who is emotionally abusive, doesn't listen when I

actually try and speak to him and who doens't reach out to show that he cares?

He has some of the BPD symptoms. An uncontrollable temper that flares up at the

most random moments, you never know what you'll get. All he can think about is

himself, and that people are always doing wrong to him. It's never his fault. He

is a habitual drinker and prescription drug abuser. And he has a really hard

time showing that he cares about anyone but himself. Financially he always been

supportive, but that is about as far as it goes. When I try to reach out to him,

sometimes he is unresponsive and other times he wants to go to dinner every week

for 4 weeks. He is up and down, but I always want his approval. I seek out his

support and his advice even though I know I won't get it in return most of the

time...

example: I have been through 3 rounds of interviews in the last 2 weeks for a

job that I REALLY WANT. He knows that I am going through this process and has

not called to wish me good luck, not called to see how the interviews went. I

have called and emailed him, but with no response. And I'm absolutely sure that

when he does finally pick up the phone he will say, " I have been too busy

providing for this family. I work my ass of to make sure you are comfortable.

God damnit, I have a lot going on and you shouldn't be so needy etc. etc. " ....

why should I feel bad about reaching out to my own father? For wanting to share

my life experiences with him and get a little feedback and love every now and

then? ...

I don't know what to do. I'm 23 years old and he's always been like this.

Selfish and unpredictable.