Re: well, I broke down & weighed on the wii

December 11, 2010

hi MJ,i have had to be weighed at the dr's fairly regularly, every couple of months, for the past year or so. not for weight related reasons, per se. so no one commented on my weight, except when medications made me gain a lot very fast, which made everyone very concerned (it was clearly not " my fault " as it was all fluid collecting in my abdomen).

anyway, i didn't want going to the dr's to be a stressful experience, so i was able to detach myself from the emotional experience of weighing myself. (to be fair, i was going to a fertility doctor so i had a " good " reason to be there.)

so maybe if the scale is taking on too much power, working on that in ways (weighs) other than avoidance can become helpful? i still worry about " getting fat " but the number on the scale isn't so meaningful to me now. i think if i weighed myself anywhere other than the doctor's office it would be, though.

i don't know if this helps or makes any sense but i thought i'd give it a shot...best,abby

SOMETHING was being revealed by this experience & i wanted to shaSo after humming & hawing about whether I should weigh myself. It's bee 2 months since my monthly weigh in & the " voice " has been telling me that I'm " getting fat again " & that " this isn't working " & " you should go back to dieting before you gain it all back " I took the plunge & actually weighed myself this morning (the 11th was my usual weigh in date). I weighed exactly the SAME as I did Oct 11. My BMI was the same so how come I feel so much heavier & my clothes SEEM to be tighter on me. I've been doing a regular weight lifting program at the gym 3 times a week & some additional cardio, yoga & belly dancing (for fun) but everytime I would see my reflection in the gym mirrors I would hear that voice telling me I " look fat " . This is so discouraging that I can't see myself as I really am. My husband & daughter tell me that it is because before I was LOSING weight/inches so i could see the progress but now that I'm maintaining I can't remember what it was like " before' so I'm seeing this " false " image. I'm thinking it is something like what happens to anorexics when they look in the mirror. That is a bit scary but at least I'm not stopping myself from having what ever I want & I'm not DIETING (even though I admit the " voice " told me to.

Sorry this post wound up so long it was just that it seemed like re it. I think that it's possible that I have become AFRAID of the scale now & perhaps I need to make friends with it (at least for a while) once a month just to keep things " real " and see how that goes. I certainly do feel BETTER since the " voice " has been proven WRONG. Don't know if that is good or bad. LOL.

mj

December 11, 2010

Hi MJ,

Thanks for writing in about this. I've been really getting tempted to go on the

scale again. I have been eating well and working out and feel so much lighter

and my clothes fit better. I sort of want to go on the scale out of curiosity.

But I'm so worried that if I go and I have not lost any weight, then I'll feel

discouraged and it will all become about the number on the scale and not about

how I feel. At the same time, if I have lost weight, I'm worried that I will

start treating what I'm doing now like a diet and a regiment to keep it up and

end up sabotaging all of my efforts. So I feel that either case, its not going

to help me and I'm resisting going on the scale. In fact, my one and only new

year's resolution is to not weigh myself in 2011! This is a huge change for me.

Up until this year, ever year, I resolved to " lose weight " . This year, I

resolve to " feel good " !

I find that when I don't weigh myself, I start listening more to my body and my

inner signals. I love how I'm feeling these days when I wake up. I feel so

much more fit and lighter and more refreshed because I'm eating a lot of fresh

fruits and veggies - all things that I'm craving. I like paying attention to

these signals and I want to keep going for these things, not for the number on

the scale. I just hope I can keep it up. But again, I'm just trying to take it

one day at a time.

I'm glad that your diet voice was silenced after you weighed yourself. Maybe

you needed to do it to really see that the number on the scale doesn't matter.

What matters is how you feel. Maybe you were just taking in too much salt and

feeling bloated, or not enough sleep, or something else. Just focus on taking

good care of yourself.

Best,

Mali

>

> >

> > SOMETHING was being revealed by this experience & i wanted to shaSo after

> > humming & hawing about whether I should weigh myself. It's bee 2 months

> > since my monthly weigh in & the " voice " has been telling me that I'm

> > " getting fat again " & that " this isn't working " & " you should go back to

> > dieting before you gain it all back " I took the plunge & actually weighed

> > myself this morning (the 11th was my usual weigh in date). I weighed exactly

> > the SAME as I did Oct 11. My BMI was the same so how come I feel so much

> > heavier & my clothes SEEM to be tighter on me. I've been doing a regular

> > weight lifting program at the gym 3 times a week & some additional cardio,

> > yoga & belly dancing (for fun) but everytime I would see my reflection in the

> > gym mirrors I would hear that voice telling me I " look fat " . This is so

> > discouraging that I can't see myself as I really am. My husband & daughter

> > tell me that it is because before I was LOSING weight/inches so i could see

> > the progress but now that I'm maintaining I can't remember what it was like

> > " before' so I'm seeing this " false " image. I'm thinking it is something like

> > what happens to anorexics when they look in the mirror. That is a bit scary

> > but at least I'm not stopping myself from having what ever I want & I'm not

> > DIETING (even though I admit the " voice " told me to.

> >

> > Sorry this post wound up so long it was just that it seemed like re it. I

> > think that it's possible that I have become AFRAID of the scale now &

> > perhaps I need to make friends with it (at least for a while) once a month

> > just to keep things " real " and see how that goes. I certainly do feel BETTER

> > since the " voice " has been proven WRONG. Don't know if that is good or bad.

> > LOL.

> >

> > mj

> >

>

December 11, 2010

Yay for maintaining! Sorry that you are fighting this mentally. Making friends with the scale. Hmm, I don't think that would be such a bad idea. I weigh, whenever I feel like it. I've never been addicted to the scale though, so sometimes this is almost daily, other times it's barely weekly, but I use it as information. It neither breaks or makes my day. Yeah, a smaller number is nicer, but I'm pessimistic enough to usually go, 'gee, I must be dehydrated' or something. For me that number keeps me connected with the picture I see in the mirror. When I'm feeling I'm doing really good and am really thin, it tells me,"not so fast, you're still a work in progress." But, I use my mirror most for positive and negative feedback, and I can't get rid of

all my mirrors, so perhaps that's part of why my scale doesn't bother me too much.Anyway, maybe that makes some sense. I'm very proud of you for taking this step and exploring what it means to you.DawnTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sat, December 11, 2010 10:22:10 AMSubject: well, I broke down & weighed on the wii

SOMETHING was being revealed by this experience & i wanted to shaSo after humming & hawing about whether I should weigh myself. It's bee 2 months since my monthly weigh in & the "voice" has been telling me that I'm "getting fat again" & that "this isn't working" & "you should go back to dieting before you gain it all back" I took the plunge & actually weighed myself this morning (the 11th was my usual weigh in date). I weighed exactly the SAME as I did Oct 11. My BMI was the same so how come I feel so much heavier & my clothes SEEM to be tighter on me. I've been doing a regular weight lifting program at the gym 3 times a week & some additional cardio, yoga & belly dancing (for fun) but everytime I would see my reflection in the gym mirrors I would hear that voice telling me I "look fat". This is so discouraging that I can't see myself as I really am. My husband & daughter tell me that it is because before I

was LOSING weight/inches so i could see the progress but now that I'm maintaining I can't remember what it was like "before' so I'm seeing this "false" image. I'm thinking it is something like what happens to anorexics when they look in the mirror. That is a bit scary but at least I'm not stopping myself from having what ever I want & I'm not DIETING (even though I admit the "voice" told me to.

Sorry this post wound up so long it was just that it seemed like re it. I think that it's possible that I have become AFRAID of the scale now & perhaps I need to make friends with it (at least for a while) once a month just to keep things "real" and see how that goes. I certainly do feel BETTER since the "voice" has been proven WRONG. Don't know if that is good or bad. LOL.

mj

December 11, 2010

Hi Mali,

I think this IE is very personal for each of us. What I found out with this

experience that it was more painful to not know, which set of the " voice " than

to actually know. Now that I know, it hasn't really made too much difference, I

still feel heavier than I did 2 months ago (the last weigh in but at least I'm

no longer imagining that I've gained around 5-10 lbs when actually I gained

nothing. At least now I know that there will be times when I just feel

" different " & that doesn't mean that IE isn't working. It just means that I feel

different than I did. The mind is a very strange beast. LOL. Or, as Geneen says,

" the mind is mad " .

mj

> >

> > >

> > > SOMETHING was being revealed by this experience & i wanted to shaSo after

> > > humming & hawing about whether I should weigh myself. It's bee 2 months

> > > since my monthly weigh in & the " voice " has been telling me that I'm

> > > " getting fat again " & that " this isn't working " & " you should go back to

> > > dieting before you gain it all back " I took the plunge & actually weighed

> > > myself this morning (the 11th was my usual weigh in date). I weighed

exactly

> > > the SAME as I did Oct 11. My BMI was the same so how come I feel so much

> > > heavier & my clothes SEEM to be tighter on me. I've been doing a regular

> > > weight lifting program at the gym 3 times a week & some additional cardio,

> > > yoga & belly dancing (for fun) but everytime I would see my reflection in

the

> > > gym mirrors I would hear that voice telling me I " look fat " . This is so

> > > discouraging that I can't see myself as I really am. My husband & daughter

> > > tell me that it is because before I was LOSING weight/inches so i could

see

> > > the progress but now that I'm maintaining I can't remember what it was

like

> > > " before' so I'm seeing this " false " image. I'm thinking it is something

like

> > > what happens to anorexics when they look in the mirror. That is a bit

scary

> > > but at least I'm not stopping myself from having what ever I want & I'm

not

> > > DIETING (even though I admit the " voice " told me to.

> > >

> > > Sorry this post wound up so long it was just that it seemed like re it. I

> > > think that it's possible that I have become AFRAID of the scale now &

> > > perhaps I need to make friends with it (at least for a while) once a month

> > > just to keep things " real " and see how that goes. I certainly do feel

BETTER

> > > since the " voice " has been proven WRONG. Don't know if that is good or

bad.

> > > LOL.

> > >

> > > mj

> > >

> >

>

December 11, 2010

Thank you Dawn,

I wasn't sure how people would react to my post but I'm glad that I posted it

anyway. I'm planning on going back to weighing in on my wii once a month again

until I feel strong enough to give it up again. My goal is to be more like you &

NOT have those numbers mean anything but that might take awhile.

Thanks for posting.

mj

>

> Yay for maintaining! Sorry that you are fighting this mentally. Making

friends

> with the scale. Hmm, I don't think that would be such a bad idea. I weigh,

> whenever I feel like it. I've never been addicted to the scale though, so

> sometimes this is almost daily, other times it's barely weekly, but I use it

as

> information. It neither breaks or makes my day. Yeah, a smaller number is

> nicer, but I'm pessimistic enough to usually go, 'gee, I must be dehydrated'

or

> something. For me that number keeps me connected with the picture I see in

the

> mirror. When I'm feeling I'm doing really good and am really thin, it tells

> me, " not so fast, you're still a work in progress. " But, I use my mirror most

for

> positive and negative feedback, and I can't get rid of all my mirrors, so

> perhaps that's part of why my scale doesn't bother me too much.

>

> Anyway, maybe that makes some sense. I'm very proud of you for taking this

step

> and exploring what it means to you.

>

> Dawn

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: IntuitiveEating_Support

> Sent: Sat, December 11, 2010 10:22:10 AM

> Subject: well, I broke down & weighed on the wii

>

> SOMETHING was being revealed by this experience & i wanted to shaSo after

> humming & hawing about whether I should weigh myself. It's bee 2 months since

my

> monthly weigh in & the " voice " has been telling me that I'm " getting fat

again "

> & that " this isn't working " & " you should go back to dieting before you gain

it

> all back " I took the plunge & actually weighed myself this morning (the 11th

was

> my usual weigh in date). I weighed exactly the SAME as I did Oct 11. My BMI

was

> the same so how come I feel so much heavier & my clothes SEEM to be tighter on

> me. I've been doing a regular weight lifting program at the gym 3 times a week

&

> some additional cardio, yoga & belly dancing (for fun) but everytime I would

see

> my reflection in the gym mirrors I would hear that voice telling me I " look

> fat " . This is so discouraging that I can't see myself as I really am. My

husband

> & daughter tell me that it is because before I was LOSING weight/inches so i

> could see the progress but now that I'm maintaining I can't remember what it

was

> like " before' so I'm seeing this " false " image. I'm thinking it is something

> like what happens to anorexics when they look in the mirror. That is a bit

scary

> but at least I'm not stopping myself from having what ever I want & I'm not

> DIETING (even though I admit the " voice " told me to.

>

> Sorry this post wound up so long it was just that it seemed like re it. I

think

> that it's possible that I have become AFRAID of the scale now & perhaps I need

> to make friends with it (at least for a while) once a month just to keep

things

> " real " and see how that goes. I certainly do feel BETTER since the " voice " has

> been proven WRONG. Don't know if that is good or bad. LOL.

>

> mj

>

December 11, 2010

thanks abby for responding & it was helpful to be reminded that it might be

water retention. That could well be the case.