Re: My doctor says I need to Diet!

January 5, 2011

Hi, M.

Congratulations on all the wonderful work you've done on your IE! I really hope you don't let your doctor sabotage it.

It occurs to me that when I'm feeding myself well, eating what I really want when I'm really hungry and no longer eating to overfull, I'm still not going to be losing weight because my idea of "comfortably full" is just a little more than my body actually needs. That thought - no kidding - actually made me cry when I realized it, because all I could think of was that there was deprivation in store for me.

What I came to think, however, is that yes, we do ultimately have to eat less in order to lose weight, but what's important is that the "less" comes from determinations we make INSIDE ourselves about what we FEEL, and not by following anyone else's prescriptions for us. So, I may enjoy feeling "comfortably full" but recognize that in order to lose weight I will have to make friends with a slightly lighter sensation of fullness. Which, by the way, I will do when I'm good and ready and not a minute before, and which I expect to be a process over time, not a program to follow mechanically, all the while paying attention to what different levels of fullness feel like to me and what emotional material may be locked into that "comfortably full" feeling I keep wanting.

The problem with your doctor's prescription is that it tells you not to trust yourself but to trust her diet plan, her idea of what your calorie limit ought to be, and it's a setup to undo all the beautiful work you've done so far. You're most of the way there with what you've accomplished. When you're ready to take another step dealing with the level of fullness you've needed, you'll do that. The decision should come from inside you, from bringing awareness to it, from your own experimenting, in a way that makes you trust yourself even more and makes you feel completely whole.

Good luck.

April

Hi all,I could really use your advice. I've been eating healthy (only because I crave healthy stuff now!) and listening to my body. I feel like I'm finally an intuitive eater. I've also been working out and feeling good and have learned to be more mindful and present and deal with my emotions productively and not through food. This has been HUGE progress for me and I feel more grounded than ever!However, I saw my doctor today and while she supports IE and acknowledges that I'm doing a good job at maintaining my weight, she is concerned about my (very) high body fat % and that I'm not losing weight. She wants me to go on a limited calorie diet and start counting calories. She says I don't need to do anything drastic or deprive myself, but just gently keep track of what I eat (write things down in non-judgmental way) and make some substitutions to get my daily calories in the right range to create a deficit and lose some weight gradually. She said that I should keep listening to my body and eating when hunger and full, etc... but just try to stay in the range.It sounds reasonable, but I'm worried that I may get sucked back into the diet mentality and start obsessing about my weight. It took me so long to get to where I am and feel free from food... I just don't want to go back there. My doctor seems to believe in me and thinks I'm ready for this, but I guess I don't trust myself as much. I think I could do it if I remembered to be present, continue to accept my body, be gentle, and do these things to take care of my health, not to put pressure on myself to be thin. Any thoughts, advice?Thanks so much!M. ------------------------------------

January 6, 2011

Excellent point, Carol.

From: Carol Mielke

Sent: Wednesday, January 05, 2011 4:19 PM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: RE: My doctor says I need to "Diet"!

I have been lurking for a long time on this list but just had to respond to this post to tell you about a book I recently read. Health at Every Size is by Bacon Phd. and I would encourage you to take a look at it before you start down the calorie counting path. She sites many studies that show body fat % doesnâ€™t necessarily have anything to do with how healthy an individual is, as a matter of fact, there is a ton of misinformation out there regarding body fat, longevity and health.

January 6, 2011

I sit on both sides of the fence with calorie counting.

On one side, I think many people have no clue as to what they truly eat in a day. My husband. who also struggles with weight gains, has some of the weirdest ideas about calories and food. He wonâ€™t eat bacon because he believes it to be too high in fat, but adores pork rinds which he can eat with abandon. He will freak out over a calorie count for a food item on a nutritional label and when I ask him how many calories a day he is eating or striving for, he has no clue! My point is, that calorie counting for my husband would give him a better picture of what amount of food he is really eating and how to correlate what he is eating compared to the numbers he comes across. For myself, I maintained my obesity on mindful eating, but my health began to suffer, I developed diabetes, struggled with arthritis and could hardly walk and breath at the same time at 317 pounds. Calorie counting helped me become aware of what I was eating and I could find where I could make changes. The approach I took was to not restrict any food, not to have any set calorie limit, but to just eat and record the information in a nutritional software. I learned a great deal from this year long experience. I was able to lose 85 pounds this way.

On the other hand, I discovered that I feel a sense of security in the counting, whereas I want to have that same sense in â€œmeâ€ rather than the numbers. I want to be totally reliant on myself and my ability to make daily choices in a positive and sensitive way. I want to â€œcareâ€ for myself with nurturing and learn the skills to cope with stress and misfortune. Calorie counting doesnâ€™t do anything except provide the numbers and in a way, it is meaningless in the sense that food choices soon fall into acceptability through the count. Yet, had I not done this, I would be in worse health today. I am 55 and cannot play around anymore with my health and the ways I was eating, diabetes has already become the new reality. I did learn what foods keep my blood glucose in the normal range and which ones make it spike. I had to count and compare and analyze all the information for myself to see it clearly.

How we use calorie (or any kind of nutritional counting) depends on the need. To feel as though we must always be on a diet because we may be overweight inspired by media influence, no, calorie counting is not the way to solve the issues or relationship to food. But serious health issues or even just to find an understanding of the cause and effect of eating, counting has valuable information.

I have struggled for over 30 years with just about every realm of disordered eating, including long term periods of mindful eating and weight maintenance that came so easy and so natural. At this point, having helped my health get in a better place, having lost enough weight to improve breathing and walking and having learned what I need to know to keep off of medications through lower carb foods, was critical. Yet I am determined to continue my journey in a different direction, embracing life, now that I have some of it back gain.

Not sure any of this makes sense, it is so hard to explain. But I wanted to somehow say that â€œdietsâ€ are not always bad and â€œIEâ€ is always good Thatâ€™s black and white thinking once again. I also think that there are many levels of transition from one way of thinking to another. Just as my husband has a hard time comprehending calories, I have a hard time with trusting my intuition!

From: reputkow

Sent: Wednesday, January 05, 2011 7:36 PM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: My doctor says I need to "Diet"!

Hello,Honestly speaking, as a RN who worked several years in a very good family practice--I think you should take what your doctor says with a grain of salt. Unless there's a medical problem that's being really impacted by your body fat %, I think that counting calories is a very slippery slope and not the way to go. My experience is that doctors, as well-intentioned as they are, cannot help people lose weight. Fear induction (i.e. high body fat %) doesn't work, no matter how well-meaning and kind she might be. As an aside, many slender people have a very high body fat %.It's very difficult to explain to someone who doesn't suffer from disordered eating that dieting increases the disorder. So you've gotten her input (I bet she didn't tell you anything new), and perhaps you'll be able to do things a bit differently that might lead to some slow, very gently weight loss. I know that there are things that I could be doing, that I'm not doing--there are absolutely times when I eat but am not hungry, or eat past fullness. I think that focusing on that type of thing, not the calorie count, will lead to a natural weight loss.I hope I haven't overstepped my boundaries here, and am actually uncomfortable weighing in on this (pun not intended!). It's just that I know what calorie counting can do to me, and it's not a good thing. It's never been helpful for me in the past--ever.I'm very interested to hear what others have to say.>> Hi all,> > I could really use your advice. I've been eating healthy (only because I crave healthy stuff now!) and listening to my body. I feel like I'm finally an intuitive eater. I've also been working out and feeling good and have learned to be more mindful and present and deal with my emotions productively and not through food. This has been HUGE progress for me and I feel more grounded than ever!> > However, I saw my doctor today and while she supports IE and acknowledges that I'm doing a good job at maintaining my weight, she is concerned about my (very) high body fat % and that I'm not losing weight. She wants me to go on a limited calorie diet and start counting calories. She says I don't need to do anything drastic or deprive myself, but just gently keep track of what I eat (write things down in non-judgmental way) and make some substitutions to get my daily calories in the right range to create a deficit and lose some weight gradually. She said that I should keep listening to my body and eating when hunger and full, etc... but just try to stay in the range.> > It sounds reasonable, but I'm worried that I may get sucked back into the diet mentality and start obsessing about my weight. It took me so long to get to where I am and feel free from food... I just don't want to go back there. My doctor seems to believe in me and thinks I'm ready for this, but I guess I don't trust myself as much. I think I could do it if I remembered to be present, continue to accept my body, be gentle, and do these things to take care of my health, not to put pressure on myself to be thin. > > Any thoughts, advice?> > Thanks so much!> M.>

January 6, 2011

I'm soooo glad that we're all in agreement here!And, April--I LOVE your usage of the word, sabotage! That's exactly what was happening, and it happens constantly--on TV, magazines, friends, spouses, well-intentioned doctors, best-sellers (I wonder if Intuitive Eating was ever a best-seller).M--stay true to yourself--it sounds like you're doing wonderfully. >> Hi, M. > Congratulations on all the wonderful work you've done on your IE! I > really hope you don't let your doctor sabotage it. > It occurs to me that when I'm feeding myself well, eating what I really > want when I'm really hungry and no longer eating to overfull, I'm still > not going to be losing weight because my idea of "comfortably full" is just a > little more than my body actually needs. That thought - no kidding - > actually made me cry when I realized it, because all I could think of was that > there was deprivation in store for me. > What I came to think, however, is that yes, we do ultimately have to > eat less in order to lose weight, but what's important is that the "less" > comes from determinations we make INSIDE ourselves about what we FEEL, and not > by following anyone else's prescriptions for us. So, I may enjoy feeling > "comfortably full" but recognize that in order to lose weight I will have to > make friends with a slightly lighter sensation of fullness. Which, by the > way, I will do when I'm good and ready and not a minute before, and which I > expect to be a process over time, not a program to follow mechanically, > all the while paying attention to what different levels of fullness feel like > to me and what emotional material may be locked into that "comfortably > full" feeling I keep wanting. > The problem with your doctor's prescription is that it tells you not to > trust yourself but to trust her diet plan, her idea of what your calorie > limit ought to be, and it's a setup to undo all the beautiful work you've > done so far. You're most of the way there with what you've accomplished. When > you're ready to take another step dealing with the level of fullness you've > needed, you'll do that. The decision should come from inside you, from > bringing awareness to it, from your own experimenting, in a way that makes you > trust yourself even more and makes you feel completely whole. > Good luck. > April > > > > > Hi all,> > I could really use your advice. I've been eating healthy (only because I > crave healthy stuff now!) and listening to my body. I feel like I'm > finally an intuitive eater. I've also been working out and feeling good and have > learned to be more mindful and present and deal with my emotions > productively and not through food. This has been HUGE progress for me and I feel > more grounded than ever!> > However, I saw my doctor today and while she supports IE and acknowledges > that I'm doing a good job at maintaining my weight, she is concerned about > my (very) high body fat % and that I'm not losing weight. She wants me to > go on a limited calorie diet and start counting calories. She says I don't > need to do anything drastic or deprive myself, but just gently keep track > of what I eat (write things down in non-judgmental way) and make some > substitutions to get my daily calories in the right range to create a deficit > and lose some weight gradually. She said that I should keep listening to my > body and eating when hunger and full, etc... but just try to stay in the > range.> > It sounds reasonable, but I'm worried that I may get sucked back into the > diet mentality and start obsessing about my weight. It took me so long to > get to where I am and feel free from food... I just don't want to go back > there. My doctor seems to believe in me and thinks I'm ready for this, but > I guess I don't trust myself as much. I think I could do it if I > remembered to be present, continue to accept my body, be gentle, and do these > things to take care of my health, not to put pressure on myself to be thin. > > Any thoughts, advice?> > Thanks so much!> M. > > > > ------------------------------------> >

January 6, 2011

Alana,

I'm with you on the great tasting oils, LOVE coconut & avocado. And goat cheese

& almonds on my salads, GREAT!!!

I'm never going back to depriving myself of these tasty foods again.

mj

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > I could really use your advice. I've been eating healthy (only because I

crave healthy stuff now!) and listening to my body. I feel like I'm finally an

intuitive eater. I've also been working out and feeling good and have learned

to be more mindful and present and deal with my emotions productively and not

through food. This has been HUGE progress for me and I feel more grounded than

ever!

> >

> > However, I saw my doctor today and while she supports IE and acknowledges

that I'm doing a good job at maintaining my weight, she is concerned about my

(very) high body fat % and that I'm not losing weight. She wants me to go on a

limited calorie diet and start counting calories. She says I don't need to do

anything drastic or deprive myself, but just gently keep track of what I eat

(write things down in non-judgmental way) and make some substitutions to get my

daily calories in the right range to create a deficit and lose some weight

gradually. She said that I should keep listening to my body and eating when

hunger and full, etc... but just try to stay in the range.

> >

> > It sounds reasonable, but I'm worried that I may get sucked back into the

diet mentality and start obsessing about my weight. It took me so long to get

to where I am and feel free from food... I just don't want to go back there. My

doctor seems to believe in me and thinks I'm ready for this, but I guess I don't

trust myself as much. I think I could do it if I remembered to be present,

continue to accept my body, be gentle, and do these things to take care of my

health, not to put pressure on myself to be thin.

> >

> > Any thoughts, advice?

> >

> > Thanks so much!

> > M.

> >

>

January 7, 2011

Josie- your post about your experience with doctors was amazing and I felt sadness with my own experience with doctors. I really admire and respect your perseverance in listening to your body. I know I have and am working in therapy (among other things!) around my issues with doctors. I had a kidney transplant when I was 12 and I have had so many harsh experiences with doctors that have lead me to feel powerless, ashamed, unable to trust my body, and stuck with having to rely on them. This isn't to say every experience has been terrible and I am honestly grateful for those who have helped me live healthfully this long, but from a young age any and all decisions about what to do with my body were not up to me-and if it weren't for my parents, the doctors weren't even that interested in

telling me what they planned next! I say all this because I am in my thirties and am now just allowing myself to trust my body. It's scary. I remember in my early twenties I had gained 40 pounds, after losing 70, and felt ashamed. Then a curious thing happened, I thought, what if I was just alright at this weight... what if I exercised because I enjoy it and not focused on losing weight. I spent a summer toying with this idea. Then I went to the transplant clinic for a check-up and they told me that my blood pressure was high (which it always is at this clinic) and that I had three months to lose some weight or they'd put me on medication. I have always resented being put on medication if I feel it is unnecessary because my blood pressure is only high when I see my specialist... not at PCP's, not at supermarket blood pressure cuffs, not with anyone who has their own cuff. Even telling doctors (been a few) this they act as if this is the most ridiculous

conspiracy theory they've ever heard! Well, I freaked out, lost the forty pounds in about five months. Of course, I'm not a doctor and I can't offer any medical advice, but for me after losing and gaining more weight through the years, I am 80 pounds more than before I lost the blood pressure weight! IE feels like something I was coming close to realizing many pounds lighter. It's hard to just fire and pick and choose a specialist with the insurance I have and the condition they are monitoring, but now I try to remain an informed consumer and when they recommend the 30-60-90 diet a few years ago (I think this is the name-300 calories a day for 3 days, 600 for 6 and 900 for 9 (I think that's what it was, it was so ridiculous I couldn't do a day... and felt so terrible about it!)), I just have to patiently listen, work through a host of feelings that come up, and try to remind myself that I can trust myself. So, I feel really protective around

people (and myself) when they are doing something that feels good, freeing, and healthy (according to drs' tests). I'm sure many mean well and truly believe in what they're doing, and perhaps it works for people, but I can't help but remember my own experience. I know I can't dwell on the past, but I can't help but think that the last 7 years of dieting, weight loss/gain, self-deprivation, restriction, binges, etc. could have been avoided. But, I may not have found IE and I may not have been ready. This just maybe the perfect moment-that's a nicer thought for me to sit with! Anyway, it's been hard figuring IE out, but I am so grateful to be trying it now. ... I think I went all over the place. Thanks for reading and being part of this process everyone!-C To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wed, January 5, 2011 11:04:08 PMSubject: Re: My doctor says I need to "Diet"!

I used to put a lot of trust in doctors, now I take what they say with a grain of salt based on a past experience.

Almost two years ago, a medical issue that I had been dealing with for a long time finally had to be dealt with. Because of my age, the conventional course of treatment was a hysterectomy, which I was dead set against. I'd done a fair amount of research on my own and knew there were other treatments, but my OBGYN gave me all kinds of reasons for why none of those were appropriate and were probably, in fact, dangerous. I couldn't believe that was true, so I started getting consults. Two more doctors, including one I found who was supposedly an "expert" (an experienced professor, researcher, and a published author on the topic) gave me every horror story in the book for why anything other than a hysterectomy was doomed to failure and every other kind of debilitating and nasty side effect imaginable including a lengthy (eight week) and excruciatingly painful recovery from surgery and a probably recurrence of the condition shortly thereafter. I was

despondent and almost ready to give in and just have the hysterectomy against every voice in my head that screamed not to do it, when (with the encouragement of some awesome women on another message board) I found another specialist and figured I'd have one last consult with another doctor who was also an expert that only worked on women with this condition. I was hopeful, but after everything else I had heard, was preparing myself for the worst.

On the day of my consult, the doctor had already reviewed my medical records, which I had sent in advance, and she sat down and asked me why I was there. And I got my courage up and was prepared to argue with her to the death and said I'd had three consults and everyone kept telling me that hysterectomy was my only option, but I didn't want one and I didn't understand why I should have to. She just looked at me and said "I've reviewed your file and there's no reason on earth why you should have to have a hysterectomy. I'd tell you if it was necessary, but I don't see anything here that tells me it is." I was so relieved that I almost burst into tears on the spot. Six weeks later, this woman performed the surgery I wanted and it went off without a hitch. I was out of the hospital in two days and walking (VERY slowly! LOL) to the Starbucks in my neighborhood for coffee two days after that. I didn't even take painkillers for more than a week after I

returned home. My recovery was mind bogglingly easy and within three weeks I felt as good as new and I've had absolutely no problems since.

So, that's a long story, but there is a point! LOL What that taught me is that I HAVE to follow my own instincts about what's right for my body. A lot of people who supposedly knew what they were talking about gave me advice that they thought was appropriate for me, but I knew in my heart, that it wasn't. I don't think I ever could have lived with myself if I had given in to what I knew was wrong for my body. At a minimum, I knew I had to exhaust every option before I submitted. I don't think any of the other doctors were necessarily bad, but I did learn that there are HUGE differences between doctors' knowledge and skill levels and many just aren't up to speed on the latest research and studies. They learn one thing in medical school and stick with it because it's easy and it's what they know or maybe because they have their own biases about what is appropriate. Whatever the case may be, it's SO important for us to do our own homework and trust

our own instincts about what is right for us. I'll never just blindly follow a doctor's advice again.

As a final aside, since that time, I've found an AMAZING doctor that I love to pieces. During my first appointment with her, I talked about wanting to lose weight and the first thing she said to me was that she doesn't believe in dieting and I should not eliminate any foods from my diet but just work on trying to eat more healthy foods (something I wanted to do, anyway) and getting out and walking a bit at lunch time. And that if I was going to lose weight, she thought it should be VERY slowly, no less than three years! (I'm about 70 pounds over the top of the weight range for my height). This year when I had my annual check up, I had just started working with my therapist on IE and I told my doctor about it and she was SO enthusiastic and said that was an excellent step to take and she fully supported IE. (Did I mention that I LOOOOOVE my doctor?? LOL)

Sorry if that was a long ramble. It was just an amazingly eye opening experience for me and really reinforced for me that we have to do what is right for us and find the RIGHT doctor that will support us in that effort.

Josie

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > I could really use your advice. I've been eating healthy (only

> because I crave healthy stuff now!) and listening to my body. I feel

> like I'm finally an intuitive eater. I've also been working out and

> feeling good and have learned to be more mindful and present and deal

> with my emotions productively and not through food. This has been HUGE

> progress for me and I feel more grounded than ever!

> >

> > However, I saw my doctor today and while she supports IE and

> acknowledges that I'm doing a good job at maintaining my weight, she is

> concerned about my (very) high body fat % and that I'm not losing

> weight. She wants me to go on a limited calorie diet and start counting

> calories. She says I don't need to do anything drastic or deprive

> myself, but just gently keep track of what I eat (write things down in

> non-judgmental way) and make some substitutions to get my daily calories

> in the right range to create a deficit and lose some weight gradually.

> She said that I should keep listening to my body and eating when hunger

> and full, etc... but just try to stay in the range.

> >

> > It sounds reasonable, but I'm worried that I may get sucked back into

> the diet mentality and start obsessing about my weight. It took me so

> long to get to where I am and feel free from food... I just don't want

> to go back there. My doctor seems to believe in me and thinks I'm ready

> for this, but I guess I don't trust myself as much. I think I could do

> it if I remembered to be present, continue to accept my body, be gentle,

> and do these things to take care of my health, not to put pressure on

> myself to be thin.

> >

> > Any thoughts, advice?

> >

> > Thanks so much!

> > M.

> >

>

January 7, 2011

Hi All,

Wow!! Thank you so much for all your inputs, support and for sharing your

stories. I truly know that IE is the way to go. I have accepted my weight and

my size, but honestly, moving and exercise has been very difficult. My ankles

and joints really hurt when I move sometimes and I was also worried about my

health - that's why I went to see my doctor.

She was the one that introduced me to IE and knows how the thought of dieting

scares me to death. In fact, it scared me so much I didn't even want to hear

what she was saying, but as soon as she started talking about calories I assumed

she wanted me to diet! Upon reflection, deep down, I know she wouldn't suggest

it unless she thought it was necessary and knew that that I was ready to handle

it. So we made a deal to only count calories for two days just to see what is

going on. I went on as I normally do... ate everything that I wanted (did not

hold back one bit!), when I wanted it, and stopped when I was satisfied and

tracked my calories for two days and my total number of calories were 950 and

1100 for day 1 and 2 respectively! I emailed this to my doctor and she said

that I'm not eating enough and because of all of those years of chronic dieting,

binging, and starvation etc... my body quickly goes into starvation mode and

slows down my metabolism. So now, she told me to add more healthy protein, fats

and carbs (like avocado, hummus, oatmeal etc...) and keep trusting my body and

doing IE. She said she just wanted me to be aware of what is going on, but she

doesn't believe in dieting especially given that they have never resulted in

sustainable weight loss for me.

It was great reading your words of support and reminders as I was counting

calories the last two days and I feel that it was because of you all that I did

not fall back to the old diet ways of thinking. I kept believing in myself and

the hard work I have done to get here, just wrote things down in a

non-judgmental way and didn't care much about the task or the total number,

etc... I feel a lot more relieved now and will keep moving forward and continue

to nurture and nourish myself.

Thanks again. I hope this experience is helpful to others who may be in the

same situation.

All the best,

M.

> > >

> > > Hi all,

> > >

> > > I could really use your advice. I've been eating healthy (only

> > because I crave healthy stuff now!) and listening to my body. I feel

> > like I'm finally an intuitive eater. I've also been working out and

> > feeling good and have learned to be more mindful and present and deal

> > with my emotions productively and not through food. This has been HUGE

> > progress for me and I feel more grounded than ever!

> > >

> > > However, I saw my doctor today and while she supports IE and

> > acknowledges that I'm doing a good job at maintaining my weight, she is

> > concerned about my (very) high body fat % and that I'm not losing

> > weight. She wants me to go on a limited calorie diet and start counting

> > calories. She says I don't need to do anything drastic or deprive

> > myself, but just gently keep track of what I eat (write things down in

> > non-judgmental way) and make some substitutions to get my daily calories

> > in the right range to create a deficit and lose some weight gradually.

> > She said that I should keep listening to my body and eating when hunger

> > and full, etc... but just try to stay in the range.

> > >

> > > It sounds reasonable, but I'm worried that I may get sucked back into

> > the diet mentality and start obsessing about my weight. It took me so

> > long to get to where I am and feel free from food... I just don't want

> > to go back there. My doctor seems to believe in me and thinks I'm ready

> > for this, but I guess I don't trust myself as much. I think I could do

> > it if I remembered to be present, continue to accept my body, be gentle,

> > and do these things to take care of my health, not to put pressure on

> > myself to be thin.

> > >

> > > Any thoughts, advice?

> > >

> > > Thanks so much!

> > > M.

> > >

> >

>

January 9, 2011

Other than the odd flu or sprain or whatever here and there, I'd been lucky to

have always been pretty healthy prior to this point, which I think made this

that much harder. I never had any reason to not trust what a doctor was saying

until then. Also, one of the most important things I came away with this from

is that often, there's not *one* right answer. That was the most surprising

thing. I remember raving to my friends and the women in my message board that I

thought medicine was a science and science was exact. But that's not the case.

Also, the other thing that infuriated me is that no doctor would say that the

advice they were giving you was just their opinion but that there might be other

options or that they didn't have experience with what I was asking for but that

didn't mean it wasn't possible. Instead, they'd state their " opinion " as if it

was the only possibility and make me feel like an idiot for questioning it. My

regular doc until that point actually rolled her eyes at me when I said that I

wanted to research her recommendation some more and would " google " it.

(Needless to say, that was the last time I ever set foot in her office). I'm

not an idiot. I have a graduate degree and a job where I advise others on how

to improve their business. I probably have as much education as most of those

doctors, just in a different field. But more than once I was made to feel like

an idiot. And I wasn't one of those troublesome, argumentative people. I was

just asking simple questions about my own care! There are definitely still

plenty of doctors that think they're god.

It was the hardest thing ever, and I nearly gave in. Probably would have if I

hadn't had the support of the women on my message board that told me not to give

up when I was really down. But it really taught me that it was so important to

do my own homework and that I could trust my instincts. In that way, I think it

was valuable for me. So, as difficult and frustrating as it was, I take that

away as the good that came out of it. And for that, I'm grateful.