Weekend with Nada for cousin's wedding

[Guest guest]

Oh gosh, this weekend could very well get me to drinking again.

My cousin is getting married this weekend, so I made plans to arrive last night

and fly out tomorrow night. Nada arrived this morning in her typical anxious,

high-strung state. Of course, she's already given me guilt ridden diatribes

about excluding her from my wedding, accusing me of trying to upstage my

cousin's wedding, etc. When she lamented that she wanted to do something to

help me and DH with our wedding, I cheerfully replied that she could repay us in

full or in part for what we spent on the wedding. She said, " Why would I do

that?! It's already paid for! "

She's already caused a scene in the hallway with my grandmother, made rude

remarks about my husband and his job (he works in maintenance and is one year

away from a bachelor's but has stopped going to school temporarily for various,

personal reasons that are none of her business), and so on. When I reminded her

that it took her 8 years to finish her bachelor's and she was married to an

attorney who had a nervous breakdown and now drives trucks (my dad), so surely

maintenance work wasn't that bad, she lost it in a rage. My grandmother told me

not to provoke her in public. I told her my mother shouldn't act as a fool in

public and then she wouldn't be treated as such.

Quite honestly, I feel that I must treat her as a parent does to a child. I

have to remind her to lower her voice, to not cause a scene, to not interrupt

people, to not make rude comments. I feel that my elementary school aged

stepdaughters understand better than her how to act appropriately in public.

It's just exhausting. And when I say that this is precisely the reason why I

moved away, that DH and I do not visit often because of the way we (primarily

he) is treated, I am told that we are immature and need to " forgive and forget. "

When I remind her that he has repeatedly tried to make amends, and who could

blame him for giving up, she says, " Is this how it's going to be - that you two

are going to be so stuck in the past? Then I just need to forget I have a

daughter! "

At least I'm going home tomorrow. Does anyone else wonder if they are the ones

who are crazy when in the presence of the BP? I know it's not me, but sometimes

I question myself if it is me when I'm around her, especially when fleas show

up. It's like I have to constantly remind myself that I'm the sane one when I'm

around her so I don't get entirely sucked in.