Re: RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

[Guest guest]

Thank you, , for the laughs and the memories they triggered. I not only remember Red Skelton, I can remember al Jolson.

Jack

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

I couldn't think of a better man to express the mens point of view on this fathers day, so----

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed!! Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A rerun of great one liner's from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more .

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds.Hers is in California , and mine is in

Texas . 3. I take my wife everywhere.... but she keeps finding her way back.4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our

anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake." 8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!" 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.

I don't like to interrupt her .

13. The last fight was my fault though.

My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it........these were the good old days

when humor didn't have to start with a four letter

word. It was just clean and simple fun.

And he always ended his programs with the words,

"God Bless"

G. UIP/IPF 5/07 AZ

This email was Anti Virus checked by Astaro Security Gateway. http://www.astaro.com

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks for the trip down memory lane!

Yes, I remember Red Skelton!

Z fibriotic NSIP/05

Z 64,

fibriotic NSIP/o5/PA

And “mild”

PH/10/07 and Reynaud’s too!!

No, NSIP was not

self-inflicted…I never smoked!

Potter,

reader,carousel lover and MomMom to

Darah

and Sara

“I’m gonna be

iron like a lion in Zion” Bob Marley

Godfrey wrote:

I

couldn't think of a better man to express the mens point

of view on this fathers day, so----

For

those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy

this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you

missed!! Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great

entertainer. A rerun of great one liner's from the man who was known

for his clean humor. I hope you get

a chuckle or two reading them

once

more

..

RED

SKELTON'S RECIPE

FOR

THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1.

Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a

little beverage, good food and companionship

She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.

Hers is in California ,

and mine is in Texas .

3.

I take my wife everywhere....

but she keeps finding her way back.

4.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested the kitchen

5.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6.

She has an electric blender, electric

toaster and electric bread maker.

She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place

to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7.

My wife told me the car wasn't running well

because there was water in the carburetor.

I asked where the car was.

She

told me, "In the lake."

8.

She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.

Then the mud fell off.

9.

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late

for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

10.

Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.

I

don't like to interrupt her

..

13.

The last fight was my fault though.

My

wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

Can't

you just hear him say all of these?

I love it........these were the good old days

when

humor didn't have to start with a four letter

word.

It was just clean and simple fun.

And

he always ended his programs with the words,

"God

Bless"

G.

UIP/IPF 5/07 AZ

This email was Anti Virus checked by Astaro Security Gateway. http://www.astaro.com

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG. Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 270.3.0/1503 - Release Date: 6/14/2008 6:02 PM

[Guest guest]

Oh, yes, indeed. I taught him everything he knew. I lie about my age so no one will think I'm old.

Jack

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

I couldn't think of a better man to express the mens point of view on this fathers day, so----

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed!! Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A rerun of great one liner's from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more .

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds.Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas . 3. I take my wife everywhere.. .. but she keeps finding her way back.4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake." 8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!" 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.

I don't like to interrupt her .

13. The last fight was my fault though.

My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it........these were the good old days

when humor didn't have to start with a four letter

word. It was just clean and simple fun.

And he always ended his programs with the words,

"God Bless"

G. UIP/IPF 5/07 AZ

This email was Anti Virus checked by Astaro Security Gateway. http://www.astaro. com

[Guest guest]

>

> From: Jack Marshall <mrshlljckyahoo (DOT) com>

> Subject: Re: RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT

MARRIAGE

> To: Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups. com

> Date: Sunday, June 15, 2008, 1:48 PM

>

>

> Thank you, , for the laughs and the memories they triggered. 

I not only remember Red Skelton, I can remember al Jolson.

>  

> Jack

>

>

> RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT

MARRIAGE

>

>

>

>

>

>  

>  

>  

>  

>  

>   

> I couldn't think of a better man to express the mens point of view

on this fathers day, so---- 

>  

> For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you

will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see

what you missed!! Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a

great entertainer. A rerun of great one liner's from the man who was

known for his clean humor. I hope youget a chuckle or two reading

themonce more.

>  

>  

> RED SKELTON'S RECIPEFOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

>  

>  

> 1. Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a

> little beverage, good food and companionship

> She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

>

> 2. We also sleep in separate beds.

> Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.

>

> 3.. I take my wife everywhere.. ..

> but she keeps finding her way back.

>

> 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.

> " Somewhere I haven't been in a long time! " she said.

> So I suggested the kitchen

>

> 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

>  

> 6. She has an electric blender, electric

> toaster and electric bread maker.

> She said " There are too many gadgets, and no place

> to sit down! " So I bought her an electric chair.

>

> 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well

> because there was water in the carburetor.

> I asked where the car was.She told me, " In the lake. "

>

> 8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.

> Then the mud fell off.

>

> 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, " Am I too late

> for the garbage? " The driver said, " No, jump in! "

>

> 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

>  

> 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was

Always.

>

> 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.

> I don't like to interrupt her.

>  

> 13. The last fight was my fault though.  

> My wife asked, " What's on the TV? " I said, " Dust! "

>

>                    

> Can't you just hear him say all of these?

> I love it........these were the good old days  

> when humor didn't have to start with a four letter

> word. It was just clean and simple fun.

> And he always ended his programs with the words,

>  

>   " God Bless "

>  

>

> G. UIP/IPF 5/07  AZ 

>  

> This email was Anti Virus checked by Astaro Security Gateway.

http://www.astaro. com

>