nada at the house, counting the days to her departure

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

we are in the middle of Nada drama who is staying at our house for her

one-week-a-year visit. You can tell she is on her best behaviour and she even

points it out! Last night, before going to bed, she said: " I've been so nice

today! " As if it is an unusual and abnormal thing to be nice... Which makes me

think that she knows that most of the time her behaviour is awful.

My husband, after some 25 years, finally really gets it. He sees her for what

she is and has lost any patience towards her. She says something outrageous and

he snaps right back at her.

She is totally frustrated and almost in shock because she is not used to my very

gentle husband ever respond rudely or disrespectfully. He's just coming out of a

long battle with cancer and told me that he has no time for 'mean people' and

putting up with BS in general.

She keep on saying that DH has changed into a 'different' person, that she does

not understand why he is so 'mean' to her. I had to remind her that he just

finished cancer treatment only few weeks ago and it was no a picnic for him, or

me, to deal with a life threatening disease. Of course she spent the following

hour telling me not to make a 'big deal' out of it, that we are the only persons

she knows that 'overreact' to the situation and, finally, not to make it sound

so dramatic because his cancer is one of the 'minor ones' (it is not). SHE, on

the other hand, knows what real pain and suffering is, because SHE had a heart

by-pass 8 years ago. AARGGH, can we say total lack of sympathy and solidarity?

Every dinner conversation is monopolized by her. Even the kids at this point are

getting tired of 'only nada stories'. It still amazes me how many times the

expression 'Oh, this reminds me that I...', 'I had the same exact experience',

or 'When I was..' And the cry for attention goes over to pure madness. My

13-year-old was talking about the pop star Lady gaga and she interrupted by

announcing that she also has direct experience with celebrities because in 1986

she slept with (very famous actor) and he was sooo nice to her and kept on

calling her the following days. Now, I made a quick calculation and I find it

very unlikely that one of the most famous actor in my country who, at the time,

would have been 29 years old, would meet my then 46-year-old, middle-aged,

overweight nada in a pub and end up in bed with her. So outlandish and also

inappropriate for an impressionable 13-year-old. The lies and exaggerations

they use just to get attention! It's maddening.

The conversation moves to the beginning of school, and there she goes on, and on

about my kids not being good enough, not studying enough, not reading enough

while I was so good (because I got so much help from her, of course!) that even

our current Prime Minister - who when I was in high school was CEO of a big

company that had business relations with the company my nada used to work at and

whom she, maybe, met once – used to call her in the office to ask her about my

grades! Btw, my kids are straight A students, and the whole monologue really

made my blood boil and was a big trigger, because I could see in their faces the

disappointment of not being good enough for their grandnada. It reminded me

about all her criticizing, yelling at me about the same things and me feeling

inadequate and never smart enough in school. Total madness.

Anyway, 4 more days and it's over.