re: stay or go away continued

[Guest guest]

sorry didn't get to finish my message got sent before i finished typing...

as i was saying when i told her the news she completely flipped out on me

and called me every name in the book stating i was abandoning here, didn't

care, didn't love her, didn't appreciate what she'd done for me, etc.

it was hard but in the end it was one of the best decisions i ever made for

myself. granted she kept calling me, showing up at my apartment randomly

(once my roommate and i had to pretend we weren't home and she finally

left), leaving obnoxious message and once even showed up at my work!! she

started crying and i had to sneak to the bathroom w/ her and get her to calm

down to leave...how unnerving!

after a couple of years i moved to Houston for grad school and of course

shit hit the fan again!! she became almost psychotic after her bribes

wouldn't work (she offered to help pay grad school if i stayed local) but i

knew that i'd rather take out loans then deal w/ her hell. and i'm so glad i

went b/c i got my degree, my freedom, my sanity, myself back and met my best

friend who is now the godmother to my son. none of that would have happened

if i had stayed. i do admit one of my major supports at the time who helped

me gain the strength and courage i needed to do what was best for me was my

therapist at the time who also inspired me to become a therapist, which is

what i do now.

so my advise is to continue getting support like you are from this group but

also to get a face to face contact who is supportive in your personal life

who will encourage you, inspire you, be happy for you and truly care about

you - whether it's a friend, therapist or other person (doesn't matter) what

matters is having healthy connections. Life w/ a BPD person is chaotic,

disheartening, painful, devastating, tragic, sad, oppressive, scary - do you

want that? if the answer is no then get away and live your life - be happy,

be yourself, find yourself, do what you love, be with people who love you (i

mean really love you which is selfless), take care of yourself.

you deserve it!!

sofia

--

--Sofia

" Live all you can

it's a mistake not to.

It doesn't so much matter

what you do in particular,

So long as you have had your life.

If you haven't had that

What have you had? "

-Henry