For MY () and others- when nada/fada has passed away

[Guest guest]

This is going to seem a little out there for some, but I wanted to share this in

case it might help. I know I never would have given this credit if it hadn't

happened to me.

After my nada passed 2m ago I was living in fear that she was going to haunt me

in some way, and that she was not at peace. I always felt after she died I would

know she was at peace. Well after she died I just had this bad feeling she

wasn't. I have this woman that will occasionally read my " energy " . I never

volunteer any info. Well the last time she did it she saw my mom's energy (she

had passed about a week earlier) and she said that my mom said she was going to

leave me alone and that she realized all the damage she had done. She realized

that she was sick while living and something wasn't firing right in her brain.

She said she " was a prisoner in her mind " . Now she is at peace, went toward the

light for a lack of better terms and she wanted me to please forgive her and not

let what she did to me hold me back. Lastly, she wanted to tell me I am a good

mom.

Now let me tell you, when this woman reads my energy she has NEVER

" communicated " with someone who has passed on with me. But she didn't know about

my mom's mental illness and what really struck me was that she didn't know my

fears about being a good mom but my mom DID and I just know that this was the

real deal.

So I guess my take home point is that this may not be the case for all our BPDs,

but I do believe they can have peace after dying and realize they were not right

in the head. As Annie said in another thread- I believe it's an organic problem

combined with conscious choices. While I am still mad, confused and angry about

nada I am glad she's at peace.

Lastly, my T told me yesterday that while the adult me knows I am free now, on a

cellular level the child in me still feels trapped. That's why i am having these

nightmares. I need to periodically tell that child she is safe and comfort her.

I wish I could somehow go back in time and meet myself as a child and rescue me.