Guest guest Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 Thanks Casey for sharing the Honoring Health website. I have never seen it, but she certainly spoke to me. Jami Subject: Re: RelapseTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, March 3, 2011, 2:21 PM Hi - I'm feeling a lot of sympathy for everything you're going through right now. It seems like you should give yourself some slack and make YOU your top priority. Remember to give yourself a lot of care at this time, take lots of "breaks," and do whatever you need to preserve your spirit. I can't say I've ever went through anything this difficult, so I may be off base, but it seems like one of the hardest things with IE is to really face our feelings, b/c while we must give ourselves unconditional permission to enjoy food and live life, we won't get anywhere if we continue with emotional eating practices and use food as a crutch.This concept by Christie at Honoring Health (http://www.honormyhealth.com) called the 15-minute method is DIFFICULT but clever tool for addressing emotional eating and dealing with your issues: http://www.honormyhealth.com/2010/04/06/how-to-deal-with-emotional-eating-the-15-minute-method/ However, I can entirely empathize with "As if IE is a diet" problems. I recently had a personal revelation when I realized that I had a similar problem by hanging on to weight loss or my weight as a measurement of success. By telling myself things like "It's ok, if you listen to your body and eat intuitively the weight will come off" I throw open the door for myself and let the food police march right in. If I don't stop seeing my weight as a solution to my life or a road to happiness, the IE can turn in to just another diet, with myself subconsciouly policing my food choices, feeling guilt about them, and not truly giving myself permission to eat anything. And then the guilt-binge spiral begins. I'm always so shocked by how insidious my internal running food police tape is, if I give it one little millimeter it takes right over and it's so easy to clip back in to my old behaviors. I don't know if any of this helps, but if not please keep talking. I was losing hope recently, and I can't begin to say how helpful its been knowing other people are going through this too and sharing our thoughts and experiences. Best wishes, and most of all remember to LOVE yourself as much as possible right now, you NEED it! - Casey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 4, 2011 Report Share Posted March 4, 2011 , I think you have gotten some excellent advice.I like April's idea of being really sympathetic with yourself, and just acknowledging that you are eating to soothe yourself. Maybe that's all you can do right now, is acknowledge it and keep on eating for comfort. I do think that criticizing yourself for it won't make it stop any sooner... more likely the latter! If you can do it without it sounding terrible, what about trying to gently return to yoga? Even if it's just a few minutes a day?I think it's important to emphasize to yourself that it's not punitive and it's not to lose weight, but as a way to bring you joy and comfort and manage your stress. for me, i can't " find myself " without exercise. but i think you have to be careful that it remains a joyful thing. i wouldn't be surprised if the eating stuff falls into place after you get back to the yoga...the other thing i would focus on is tackling the emotional issues head on. not the eating, which is a distractor, but the stress with your ex, your dad, money, losing a friend, Winter Blues... all these things! i suspect you went the eating route because you didn't have adequate coping techniques for dealing with this (not surprising -- it's a LOT to deal with!). so focus on what you could do to take better care of yourself, things that have nothing to do with eating. like promising to take 15 minutes and curl up with a magazine or book or the phone (to catch up with a friend), or reading a story to your child, or anything that brings you calm and peace. i mention the child thing because i imagine coping techniques that do not exclude your child might be easier to manage.. and positive time with him or her will make your relationship with your child happier, too. (not that you are having issues there, but kids love attention, and respond so well... it can only help!) i think if you focus on your coping techniques, including but not limited to yoga, you will see your need for comforting eating die down. be sure to give yourself full permission to use it as long as you need it... forbidding it will only prolong this stage. and try to forgive yourself for it and weight gain... you are doing the BEST you can in very HARD times! all the best,abby , my own IE journey has had a few U-turns in it as well as peaks and valleys. When I feel 'lost' I remind myself that what I am doing is going towards my IE GPS setting - which is really the point I was 'set' at when I began eating - for my body's needs. Logic would say that I should 'go' in a straight line towards that point, but its more like walking the Himalayas - many ups, downs and walk-arounds not to mention resting stops too. What I have learned from this group is that IE can be practiced a la dieting. And when one makes a RULE out of 'eat only to full' its way like 'eating only enough' as in limiting. And we all know the last step of dieting - REGAIN! Following an 'IE' diet isn't an exception either. Good to read that you are recognizing you need to add more kind-to-self at this moment. That is a very good 'deep breath' thing to do. This last week I ate my way through a large bag of Snickers that I got on sale. I caught myself being disgusted and admonishing myself for this. Then I remembered its a too typical reaction to not having this food choice ALWAYS at hand (a la legalizing and stocking up). By not having this (previous) 'bad' food sitting there I had returned it to the 'forbidden' status. In the end I found that I didn't want any more when it was gone and I am content with saying 'this too will pass'. Keep up the good work and looking forward to reading more posts from you too. Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > > Hello! My name is . Last spring I discovered Intuitive Eating and joined this group. I haven't posted for a long time, but I always read the recent posts here. > > I want to say that the concept of Intuitive Eating radically has changed my life. I was struggling so much from depression over my recent divorce and the stress of being a single mom and the binge/self hatred/starve cycle had become just another hopeless part of my life. I realized that this cycle was actually making my depression worse and keeping me from getting to better places emotionally. > > It took a few months but by the end of summer IE was helping me be happier where I was and who I was - which is the goal of this in my opinion. Food lost its power over me. I kept chocolate bars in my freezer and actually forgot they were there! Best of all, for the first time in my life I got into an exercise routine that I stuck to. I did yoga nearly daily not to lose weight but because it made me feel amazing. I focused on how things made me feel and I learned to stop eating when I was full. I did lose weight but didn't know it since I had thrown out my scale, but I shouldn't have been surprised since the weekly (or more) nights of my massive binging had stopped. It kinda felt like a miracle since I had struggled with eating disorders my whole life. I absolutely believe in IE. > > However....Past few months, I've lost my focus. It's like I've had a relapse. Not sure the reason - my dad being hospitalized repeatedly since December, losing a friend, serious money stress, being snowed in, just the Winter blues. My yoga stopped. My binging returned. I've spiraled down. This week, I've had drama with my ex husband and numbed the emotions with large and I mean LARGE amounts of food. I feel the panic that " better eat while you can because soon I'll be doing that IE thing again " As if IE is a diet!!!! My pants are getting tight. I just want to eat and sleep. I am back to my depressive tendencies. I am criticizing myself... > > Can any of you relate to relapsing like this? I even have reread the IE main points. Should I read the whole thing again? Read other books? Should I just focus on getting back into yoga and the food will follow? I can't seem to stop when I am full now. I simply do not want to stop eating. I've become a rebel. > > I know I believe in IE what I am lacking now is my resolve. Like I need to hit that " wall " of being done with these destructive habits all over again... but I want to correct this now! Any help would be appreciated!!! > > Wishing you all the best ~ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 4, 2011 Report Share Posted March 4, 2011 Good idea about the children. I know for me it's my grandson and it is true that I can enjoy him and then walk away from his moods or whatever. ut whenever I am feeling down, I go visit him and he can make us all laugh, even himself. Isn't it wonderful that even he thinks he is funny. And it often is just nonsensical stuff that we don't always understand. He just turned 5 by the way. Sometimes I have to " strongly " encourage him to play outside but then at the park we can both get our exercise. He also loves to read to me and listen. When the music comes on, he always says " come on let's dance " . And I don't have to be a good dancer, just crazy. It's really nice because a year ago I could hardly walk or do anything to play with him. Now I can even go in the ocean, or swim in the pool. I live in Florida right near the beach too. Here's a funny story. His Mom is struggling with her weight(not ready for IE yet), but he is learning all about nutrition in daycare. He'll come home and say to her or me. " That's not good for you Mommy. " Of course that might be on the issue of " good food, bad food " though. When she told him that Pop Tarts were full of sugar, he said he'd start working on that on Monday. Boy does that sound like diet messages. Cute when says it, but maybe setting him up too. Hope you can play with your children, and sing and dance and run sometime. Again love yourself a lot during this difficult time and carve out a little time for yourself too. , I think you have gotten some excellent advice.I like April's idea of being really sympathetic with yourself, and just acknowledging that you are eating to soothe yourself. Maybe that's all you can do right now, is acknowledge it and keep on eating for comfort. I do think that criticizing yourself for it won't make it stop any sooner... more likely the latter! If you can do it without it sounding terrible, what about trying to gently return to yoga? Even if it's just a few minutes a day?I think it's important to emphasize to yourself that it's not punitive and it's not to lose weight, but as a way to bring you joy and comfort and manage your stress. for me, i can't " find myself " without exercise. but i think you have to be careful that it remains a joyful thing. i wouldn't be surprised if the eating stuff falls into place after you get back to the yoga...the other thing i would focus on is tackling the emotional issues head on. not the eating, which is a distractor, but the stress with your ex, your dad, money, losing a friend, Winter Blues... all these things! i suspect you went the eating route because you didn't have adequate coping techniques for dealing with this (not surprising -- it's a LOT to deal with!). so focus on what you could do to take better care of yourself, things that have nothing to do with eating. like promising to take 15 minutes and curl up with a magazine or book or the phone (to catch up with a friend), or reading a story to your child, or anything that brings you calm and peace. i mention the child thing because i imagine coping techniques that do not exclude your child might be easier to manage.. and positive time with him or her will make your relationship with your child happier, too. (not that you are having issues there, but kids love attention, and respond so well... it can only help!) i think if you focus on your coping techniques, including but not limited to yoga, you will see your need for comforting eating die down. be sure to give yourself full permission to use it as long as you need it... forbidding it will only prolong this stage. and try to forgive yourself for it and weight gain... you are doing the BEST you can in very HARD times! all the best,abby , my own IE journey has had a few U-turns in it as well as peaks and valleys. When I feel 'lost' I remind myself that what I am doing is going towards my IE GPS setting - which is really the point I was 'set' at when I began eating - for my body's needs. Logic would say that I should 'go' in a straight line towards that point, but its more like walking the Himalayas - many ups, downs and walk-arounds not to mention resting stops too. What I have learned from this group is that IE can be practiced a la dieting. And when one makes a RULE out of 'eat only to full' its way like 'eating only enough' as in limiting. And we all know the last step of dieting - REGAIN! Following an 'IE' diet isn't an exception either. Good to read that you are recognizing you need to add more kind-to-self at this moment. That is a very good 'deep breath' thing to do. This last week I ate my way through a large bag of Snickers that I got on sale. I caught myself being disgusted and admonishing myself for this. Then I remembered its a too typical reaction to not having this food choice ALWAYS at hand (a la legalizing and stocking up). By not having this (previous) 'bad' food sitting there I had returned it to the 'forbidden' status. In the end I found that I didn't want any more when it was gone and I am content with saying 'this too will pass'. Keep up the good work and looking forward to reading more posts from you too. Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > > Hello! My name is . Last spring I discovered Intuitive Eating and joined this group. I haven't posted for a long time, but I always read the recent posts here. > > I want to say that the concept of Intuitive Eating radically has changed my life. I was struggling so much from depression over my recent divorce and the stress of being a single mom and the binge/self hatred/starve cycle had become just another hopeless part of my life. I realized that this cycle was actually making my depression worse and keeping me from getting to better places emotionally. > > It took a few months but by the end of summer IE was helping me be happier where I was and who I was - which is the goal of this in my opinion. Food lost its power over me. I kept chocolate bars in my freezer and actually forgot they were there! Best of all, for the first time in my life I got into an exercise routine that I stuck to. I did yoga nearly daily not to lose weight but because it made me feel amazing. I focused on how things made me feel and I learned to stop eating when I was full. I did lose weight but didn't know it since I had thrown out my scale, but I shouldn't have been surprised since the weekly (or more) nights of my massive binging had stopped. It kinda felt like a miracle since I had struggled with eating disorders my whole life. I absolutely believe in IE. > > However....Past few months, I've lost my focus. It's like I've had a relapse. Not sure the reason - my dad being hospitalized repeatedly since December, losing a friend, serious money stress, being snowed in, just the Winter blues. My yoga stopped. My binging returned. I've spiraled down. This week, I've had drama with my ex husband and numbed the emotions with large and I mean LARGE amounts of food. I feel the panic that " better eat while you can because soon I'll be doing that IE thing again " As if IE is a diet!!!! My pants are getting tight. I just want to eat and sleep. I am back to my depressive tendencies. I am criticizing myself... > > Can any of you relate to relapsing like this? I even have reread the IE main points. Should I read the whole thing again? Read other books? Should I just focus on getting back into yoga and the food will follow? I can't seem to stop when I am full now. I simply do not want to stop eating. I've become a rebel. > > I know I believe in IE what I am lacking now is my resolve. Like I need to hit that " wall " of being done with these destructive habits all over again... but I want to correct this now! Any help would be appreciated!!! > > Wishing you all the best ~ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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