Guest guest Posted September 24, 2010 Report Share Posted September 24, 2010 This was a the subject line of a gut-churning email I received yesterday. I suppose the audience here could understand better than anyone why it might stir me up, especially when I mention the little detail that Nada's b-day was nearly 4 MONTHS AGO!!! Yes, it seems she has decided that she did not get enough attention, like a petulant child, is demanding her due. She has put my father up to pressuring her children to throw her a party next month and I am livid about it. I can't quite explain it to any of my friends with normal moms . . . I mean how much more like a jerk could I sound than complaining about celebrating my mom's birthday? But seriously, I already took her out to eat the week of her actually birthday and I imagine that most of the rest of the fam did something as well. Now my dad is pressuring my sister to organize a big get together in her honor. I DO NOT WANT TO GO! Yes that was me screaming, I said I was livid! She keeps saying that " empty nest syndrome " is really getting to her, but really it is just more of the same old stuff. She just feels the need for more of the limelight. Someone please tell me that I don't have to go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2010 Report Share Posted September 24, 2010 Dude, no way, don't go. This is an opportunity to set a boundary. You love yourself and your sanity enough to do it. Hugs and punching bags. On Fri, Sep 24, 2010 at 12:56 PM, mcsmitty1227 wrote: > > > This was a the subject line of a gut-churning email I received yesterday. I > suppose the audience here could understand better than anyone why it might > stir me up, especially when I mention the little detail that Nada's b-day > was nearly 4 MONTHS AGO!!! > > Yes, it seems she has decided that she did not get enough attention, like a > petulant child, is demanding her due. She has put my father up to pressuring > her children to throw her a party next month and I am livid about it. I > can't quite explain it to any of my friends with normal moms . . . I mean > how much more like a jerk could I sound than complaining about celebrating > my mom's birthday? But seriously, I already took her out to eat the week of > her actually birthday and I imagine that most of the rest of the fam did > something as well. Now my dad is pressuring my sister to organize a big get > together in her honor. I DO NOT WANT TO GO! Yes that was me screaming, I > said I was livid! She keeps saying that " empty nest syndrome " is really > getting to her, but really it is just more of the same old stuff. She just > feels the need for more of the limelight. > > Someone please tell me that I don't have to go! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2010 Report Share Posted September 24, 2010 (I'm using a virtual bullhorn here:) You Do Not Have To Go!!! Honestly. What a narcissist. Send your mother another birthday card and maybe a small gift certificate, and in the card ask her if this means she is already one year older than she was 4 months ago? (Yes, I know that is being mean. You don't have to pay attention to that suggestion, that was just my evil twin talking.) But truly, you are not obligated to cave in to these inappropriate demands for more attention or she'll just keep it up. Once the pd person figures out a tactic that works on you, they'll keep using it. They're smart little monkeys. -Annie > > This was a the subject line of a gut-churning email I received yesterday. I suppose the audience here could understand better than anyone why it might stir me up, especially when I mention the little detail that Nada's b-day was nearly 4 MONTHS AGO!!! > > Yes, it seems she has decided that she did not get enough attention, like a petulant child, is demanding her due. She has put my father up to pressuring her children to throw her a party next month and I am livid about it. I can't quite explain it to any of my friends with normal moms . . . I mean how much more like a jerk could I sound than complaining about celebrating my mom's birthday? But seriously, I already took her out to eat the week of her actually birthday and I imagine that most of the rest of the fam did something as well. Now my dad is pressuring my sister to organize a big get together in her honor. I DO NOT WANT TO GO! Yes that was me screaming, I said I was livid! She keeps saying that " empty nest syndrome " is really getting to her, but really it is just more of the same old stuff. She just feels the need for more of the limelight. > > Someone please tell me that I don't have to go! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2010 Report Share Posted September 24, 2010 Not only do you NOT have to go to this silly excuse for a party, you don't even have to go to her REAL birthday parties. Taking an adult out to eat on their birthday is sufficient. Big whoop-de-do parties are for people turning some milestone age (like, 100), or children aged one through, say, ten. Demanding that people throw you a birthday " do-over " is just - stupid. And immature. And caving in to such a demand means that the next set of " lines in the sand " will be even more extreme. Nah. You don't have to go. > > This was a the subject line of a gut-churning email I received yesterday. I suppose the audience here could understand better than anyone why it might stir me up, especially when I mention the little detail that Nada's b-day was nearly 4 MONTHS AGO!!! > > Yes, it seems she has decided that she did not get enough attention, like a petulant child, is demanding her due. She has put my father up to pressuring her children to throw her a party next month and I am livid about it. I can't quite explain it to any of my friends with normal moms . . . I mean how much more like a jerk could I sound than complaining about celebrating my mom's birthday? But seriously, I already took her out to eat the week of her actually birthday and I imagine that most of the rest of the fam did something as well. Now my dad is pressuring my sister to organize a big get together in her honor. I DO NOT WANT TO GO! Yes that was me screaming, I said I was livid! She keeps saying that " empty nest syndrome " is really getting to her, but really it is just more of the same old stuff. She just feels the need for more of the limelight. > > Someone please tell me that I don't have to go! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2010 Report Share Posted September 24, 2010 My mother actually set up her own 50th surprise party and told my sister, her husband, and myself in great detail what she wanted at this " surprise " party. She gave us a long list of where to put coats, what candles to light, cd's to play, and she even put out her best chafing dishes and silver with little notes in them so everything was just to her liking. (((I still can't believe I went along with it))) I went out and bought all over the hill balloons and cups, napkins, plates, etc. (to get my digs in of course :0). When she saw them she went freakin ape shit and wouldn't allow me to use them. But then when someone brought her flowers with the same over the hill theme she laughed and said how cleaver it was. WTF??? BARF!!! It was a horrible night, and to see her come in the house after going to dinner with her husband and fake her own surprised expressions was insane!!! Sick, sick, sick, drlingirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2010 Report Share Posted September 24, 2010 I hear something contagious is going around. you might come down with it on the day of her tantrum birthday. just sayin'. > > This was a the subject line of a gut-churning email I received yesterday. I suppose the audience here could understand better than anyone why it might stir me up, especially when I mention the little detail that Nada's b-day was nearly 4 MONTHS AGO!!! > > Yes, it seems she has decided that she did not get enough attention, like a petulant child, is demanding her due. She has put my father up to pressuring her children to throw her a party next month and I am livid about it. I can't quite explain it to any of my friends with normal moms . . . I mean how much more like a jerk could I sound than complaining about celebrating my mom's birthday? But seriously, I already took her out to eat the week of her actually birthday and I imagine that most of the rest of the fam did something as well. Now my dad is pressuring my sister to organize a big get together in her honor. I DO NOT WANT TO GO! Yes that was me screaming, I said I was livid! She keeps saying that " empty nest syndrome " is really getting to her, but really it is just more of the same old stuff. She just feels the need for more of the limelight. > > Someone please tell me that I don't have to go! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2010 Report Share Posted September 24, 2010 My mother actually set up her own 50th surprise party and told my sister, her husband, and myself in great detail what she wanted at this " surprise " party. She gave us a long list of where to put coats, what candles to light, cd's to play, and she even put out her best chafing dishes and silver with little notes in them so everything was just to her liking. (((I still can't believe I went along with it))) I went out and bought all over the hill balloons and cups, napkins, plates, etc. (to get my digs in of course :0). When she saw them she went freakin ape shit and wouldn't allow me to use them. But then when someone brought her flowers with the same over the hill theme she laughed and said how cleaver it was. WTF??? BARF!!! It was a horrible night, and to see her come in the house after going to dinner with her husband and fake her own surprised expressions was insane!!! Sick, sick, sick, drlingirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2010 Report Share Posted September 24, 2010 drlingirl -- that " suprise " party sounds just awful, but sadly, totally believable--I could see my mom trying it out. Thank you all for the encouragement! Fortunately, most of my siblings have also objected to the idea, making it even easier for me to NOT go. I determined not to go, even if my siblings end up caving. Thanks again, Anne > > > > > > > > My mother actually set up her own 50th surprise party and told my sister, her husband, and myself in great detail what she wanted at this " surprise " party. She gave us a long list of where to put coats, what candles to light, cd's to play, and she even put out her best chafing dishes and silver with little notes in them so everything was just to her liking. (((I still can't believe I went along with it))) I went out and bought all over the hill balloons and cups, napkins, plates, etc. (to get my digs in of course :0). When she saw them she went freakin ape shit and wouldn't allow me to use them. But then when someone brought her flowers with the same over the hill theme she laughed and said how cleaver it was. WTF??? BARF!!! > > It was a horrible night, and to see her come in the house after going to dinner with her husband and fake her own surprised expressions was insane!!! > > Sick, sick, sick, drlingirl > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 I agree with the others - you don't have to plan anything or go again. Just remind her and dear old Dad that you took her out to eat for her birthday. Wonder how the other family members feel about this. You might get them off the hook by setting the stage and refusing to do more. If one caves in, the others probably will too. Kind of like kids in class, if one raises their hand, the others tend to do the same thing just so they don't seem wrong or an oddball. Be brave, tell her she's had her celebration and food. We only get one birthday a year. > > This was a the subject line of a gut-churning email I received yesterday. I suppose the audience here could understand better than anyone why it might stir me up, especially when I mention the little detail that Nada's b-day was nearly 4 MONTHS AGO!!! > > Yes, it seems she has decided that she did not get enough attention, like a petulant child, is demanding her due. She has put my father up to pressuring her children to throw her a party next month and I am livid about it. I can't quite explain it to any of my friends with normal moms . . . I mean how much more like a jerk could I sound than complaining about celebrating my mom's birthday? But seriously, I already took her out to eat the week of her actually birthday and I imagine that most of the rest of the fam did something as well. Now my dad is pressuring my sister to organize a big get together in her honor. I DO NOT WANT TO GO! Yes that was me screaming, I said I was livid! She keeps saying that " empty nest syndrome " is really getting to her, but really it is just more of the same old stuff. She just feels the need for more of the limelight. > > Someone please tell me that I don't have to go! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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