I really need some feedback, please

September 6, 2010

I have spilt ties from Nada and all family three years ago. I have done a lot of

healing and growing, but this one thing keeps knocking me off of my feet. It

seems that every once in a while, I run into someone that spews verbal venom at

me. It's usually in a business situation. Most of the time when it happens, I am

so totally stunned and taken aback that I don't say anything. The frequency of

this has been occurring more and more. I am a soft spoken, nice, agreeable

person, and can't for the life of me understand why this keeps happening! I try

to look over our history to see if I did anything to antagonize them, and the

answer is always no! I just am not like that. A few years ago when my hubby and

I bought this house, the female builder was so mean! I didn't get half of the

choices I wanted, because she was soabrasive to deal with. It made me hate the

house, her, myself for not standing up to her better, and my husband for not

coming to my defense. A few months a go, I tried to buy a new house, and went in

with the intention of correcting any of the builder's(a different one) bad

behavior at the start. Well she turned psycho too, and I set her straight. It

was very shaky and we stressed every detail, wondering how it was gonna go

minute to minute, when it happened again! This time was so bad! She said some

horrible personal things to me, yelled at me, and talked down to me like I was

an idiot. The entire time my husband sat there, and said nothing. I told her

that her behavior was uncalled for, and then my husband continued on talking to

her like it never happened! I stormed out. My husband folled behind me like a

dog at my heels. I cancelled the house. By doing this, we are losing somewhere

between $7000 and $9000 dollars! I signed the contract, it says I forfit the

money. I simply can't let anyone treat me that way EVER again! My husband and I

are on really shaky terms. We have been married 24 years, and he knows all about

my abusive family history, yet will not take up for me, and I'm afraid it's

going to cost me my marriage as well. I am so damn distraught, I am thinking of

suicide. I have been abused in one way or another all of my life. I simply can

not take one more of these episodes! He is scared to death of anyone the

slightest bit aggressive, and he had a great upbringing! I don't know what I can

do. Please help me. Somebody. Please.

September 8, 2010

I think that some people can sense when we have had our boundaries violated, and

some people have a kind of predatory thing where they take advantage of that.

It's still on them though, it's not your responsibility that THEY are a jerk.

Some people just are.

The issue with your husband not defending you is a separate thing, you guys

might need counseling for that since it is an interpersonal issue and it might

take a third party to help you impart to him how you feel and what you need him

to do.

I agree with what someone else said about talking to an attorney about the stuff

with the builder. I do know that of course their ideal situation is when you

give them the money and stay out of their way. They may be overly harsh just to

see if they can get you to do so. Good for you for standing up to them, and good

luck with following up and hopefully you will find some recourse.

>

> I have spilt ties from Nada and all family three years ago. I have done a lot

of healing and growing, but this one thing keeps knocking me off of my feet. It