Hello! New member from Australia...

[Guest guest]

Hi Bess,

Welcome to our group! The answers you're looking for lie somewhere within yourself; as a chronic dieter I can identify with your hope that SOMEONE ELSE has the answers--wouldn't that be easy?--but in fact none of us has the answers you need. The good news is that YOU can find them within yourself. Instead of being judgmental (which is something all dieters know too well how to do!) try being curious and gentle with yourself. You grew up being taught to use food to handle your feelings; you're now thoroughly aware that that's not working, but then what to do with all those feelings? That's where we all need to get curious.

Martha Beck suggests in an article last year in Oprah Magazine that everyone take a vacation from complaining and see what happens--I did that, and let me tell you, it makes a difference: you suddenly feel that you ought to be *doing* something to change all those things that bother you, because you no longer have the escape valve of complaining. Similarly, if you stop overeating and just let yourself be curious...what would happen if you did that? How would you feel? What else could you do about those feelings? Just feel them and see what happens? Do something to make a difference in what's bothering you? Or something else?

Diets *feel* like quick fixes, but we all know what happens: that quick fix is a slow slide back to hell. So welcome aboard. I can't say this is easy, but hey, overeating and feeling miserable and just gaining more and more weight isn't a walk in the park, either. Like Geneen Roth says, we're already suffering. Might as well walk through a different kind of suffering to try to make some real, lasting change.

All best,

Laurie