nada in hospice

[Guest guest]

I just found out today that nada was put on hospice by her doctor who is

extremely optimistic and always says/thinks that there is always something

else to try. (She has cancer among other things.) My brother, whose

judgement I do trust, does not think that she will make it too much longer

and says that she is very frail and often confused. It surprised me how

sad/emotional I was after hearing this. It surprises me that as much as she

plagues me that I had such an emotional reaction to the fact that she is

likely dying.

I/We have been waiting more than 4 years and have thought she was going to

die many different times. (One physician has said that she really does seem

to have 9 lives.) However, she has really deteriorated more rapidly since

last March and has been less and less awake and coherent recently. Her death

is likely not immediately imminent, but it seems unlikely that she will

rally again and seems more likely that she will continue to decline...though

obviously no one knows how long she may hang on.

My brother has asked me to come for a few days - something he has never

asked before. My husband and I will likely go for one night/two days later

this week without our kids. I've been in contact with my mom (though it has

been more limited this past year), but I have intentionally not gone to her

town (300 miles away) when she has been sick or in the hospital, but this

time I would like to go - for my sake and for my brother's sake. I don't

feel like I need or want to see her before she dies, but in part because my

brother asked me to (which is so unusual for him) and because my mom has

seemed to drift in recent months into this relatively harmless sleepy state

- I'd like to go now and I hopefully can handle going now. (Sometimes when

her physical health has declined, so has her mental health... and that I can

not handle.) I don't want to go by myself though and am grateful that my

husband is more than willing to go with me and that there are friends where

we live that will take care of our kids.

I don't really have a question nor am I asking for advice. I just know many

others here have been down this road before me and you all really do " get

it " for which I am so grateful.

MY