Re: help?

April 27, 2011

What an interesting situation. When I get stuck with any decision I have found it useful or at least interesting to sit down with paper and pen and write down all the options I can think of no matter how wild or unrealistic. Brainstorming like this can often reveal an interesting, never thought of solution. Depending on the age of your children and other circumstances, maybe it would be a fun " trip " for them and an interesting model of how to take care of yourself. What about a friend or neighbor to babysit for a few minutes? Maybe you can write a letter to the " six year old " and see what she has to say. These are strange suggestions perhaps and I am guessing by the time on your email that this is too late anyway. Might be good for some time in the future. Let us know what solution you came up with. I'm not proud of what I did when my kids were little and I was addicted to cigarettes, but I left them home alone and walked to the corner store to buy cigarettes. It was less than a block away but anything could have happened. I definitely would not recommend this. A little deep breathing, meditation, exercise, calling a friend, anything would have been a better choice. But I didn't know better choices back then and was really addicted. Sorry I got off on that. Next time try brainstorming alternatives no matter how wild and make it fun. Might even write a " a space ship came down and lifted me up to the sandwich shop " . Get real crazy. If nothing else you could have fun and it might become a good distraction. And no I'm not crazy, just a little cooky. Actually I learned that technique in a graduate school psychology class. Sandy

I'm struggling with something today...I think I wrote that I was on an

antibiotic that made me not have much of an appetite. Tonight I am actually

hungry but nothing is appealing. I do feel a little nauseated, so I thought

hard, if I could have anything, what would it be. There is a certainly place

around here that makes sandwiches that I would reeeeaaally like, but I can't go,

because I have two children in bed and I think it would just a little

inappropriate to wake them and say " mommy wants a sandwich. " (if they weren't

here, I'd have gotten in the car already.)

I keep telling myself that I can have the sandwich tomorrow, and asking if there

is something else I want, but the answer is no. I feel like I'm talking a little

to a six year old.

So how do others handle this?

Thanks,

Patti

April 27, 2011

Sandy, I think a lot of your ideas were creative and might be very interesting and helpful to try some day. The reminded me a lot of some of the " tips " in the Emotional Eating e-book I shared here awhile back. I would also like to hear how you ended up dealing with your situation Patti.

One idea I had is for you to think about what about those sandwiches would have been particularly satisfying to you. For example, is it gooey cheese, warm toasted bread, creamy salad dressing, salty deli meat? (Is anyone else getting hungry, haha?). Then you could try and re-create those key elements yourself--it might not be a recreation of the exact sandwich, but of what you would have found most satisfying about it.

I often realize when reading a lot of messages here, that it is easier to " do " IE if you have a lot of ingredients on hand or knowledge of cooking. I love to cook and always have a stocked fridge and pantry and am often reminded that some people do not have the option to do things like this b/c of having limited ingredients, knowledge, etc. Do any of you have advice on how to help in this situation without having to prepare and cook the food yourself?

- Casey

April 27, 2011

One idea I had is for you to think about what about those sandwiches would have been particularly satisfying to you. For example, is it gooey cheese, warm toasted bread, creamy salad dressing, salty deli meat? (Is anyone else getting hungry, haha?). Then you could try and re-create those key elements yourself--it might not be a recreation of the exact sandwich, but of what you would have found most satisfying about it.

I often realize when reading a lot of messages here, that it is easier to "do" IE if you have a lot of ingredients on hand or knowledge of cooking. I love to cook and always have a stocked fridge and pantry and am often reminded that some people do not have the option to do things like this b/c of having limited ingredients, knowledge, etc. Do any of you have advice on how to help in this situation without having to prepare and cook the food yourself?

April 27, 2011

I hear what you were saying, but given the hour (it was about 10pm), my options were limited to what I had in the house. I have a nice open pantry, and I looked in there, and I looked in the freezer, and I looked in the fridge. Those were my options. Too late to order out, and I don't know my neighbors (I moved to town a year and a half ago when my ex and I separated, and the only neighbor I know moved away.)

I think the internal six year old was mad because it felt very familiar to my childhood, being told that I could only have certain food, and not have other food, and being told I couldn't eat when I was hungry (literally, my stomach would be aching from hunger, and I'd feel wobbly, and I'd be told I couldn't eat.)

I think the distraction idea is good if I'm eating when I'm not hungry and I am just trying to solve some emotional problem with food, and I'll definitely remember that for next time. I think the issue here was being hungry and not feeling very interested in what I had. I ended up eating some yogurt that was ok, and really didn't hit the spot, but it made my stomach be quiet and stop complaining so it was better than nothing. I think what pissed me off is that I am finally listening to myself and not just eating what is on some list or what someone else says I should be eating, and it felt yucky that I couldn't support myself in that.

I brought it to the list to see what others do about this problem. I'll be interested to see if anyone else has had it.

Later I'm going to go to the market to get some food to stick in my freezer, and I'll run by that store to get that sandwich!!

BTW, Sandy, I did not think you are crazy. I do use "crazy" techniques like that when something feels overwhelming, and it helps me sort of get things in perspective!

Patti

What an interesting situation. When I get stuck with any decision I have found it useful or at least interesting to sit down with paper and pen and write down all the options I can think of no matter how wild or unrealistic. Brainstorming like this can often reveal an interesting, never thought of solution. Depending on the age of your children and other circumstances, maybe it would be a fun"trip" for them and an interesting model of how to take care of yourself. What about a friend or neighbor to babysit for a few minutes? Maybe you can write a letter to the "six year old" and see what she has to say. These are strange suggestions perhaps and I am guessing by the time on your email that this is too late anyway. Might be good for some time in the future. Let us know what solution you came up with. I'm not proud of what I did when my kids were little and I was addicted to cigarettes, but I left them home alone

and walked to the corner store to buy cigarettes. It was less than a block away but anything could have happened. I definitely would not recommend this. A little deep breathing, meditation, exercise, calling a friend, anything would have been a better choice. But I didn't know better choices back then and was really addicted. Sorry I got off on that. Next time try brainstorming alternatives no matter how wild and make it fun. Might even write a "a space ship came down and lifted me up to the sandwich shop". Get real crazy. If nothing else you could have fun and it might become a good distraction. And no I'm not crazy, just a little cooky. Actually I learned that technique in a graduate school psychology class. Sandy

April 27, 2011

Hello PattiThere is nothing greater than a prize we cannot reach! Knowing that you cannot have one of those sandwiches only make the yearning stronger. At times like this it is your mind which wants that food, not your belly - your belly is unwell so would probably reject in anyway. All you can do it rationalise to yourself the why's of not being able to have that sandwich & give yourself FULL permission to have one the next time you can get to the shop. You may even find that when you do it is not as good as you expect it to be!I hope you feel totally well soon xPam

April 27, 2011

Hello PattiThere is nothing greater than a prize we cannot reach! Knowing that you cannot have one of those sandwiches only make the yearning stronger. Ain't it the truth! LolAt times like this it is your mind which wants that food, not your belly - your belly is unwell so would probably reject in anyway. My belly is ok. I had a bacterial infection last week, but my stomach has only been along for the ride because of the abx. But it's possible I would have felt yucky after. All you can do it rationalise to yourself the why's of not being able to have that sandwich & give yourself FULL permission to have one the next time you can get to the shop. You may even find that when you do it is not as good as you expect it to be!And that's true too although I gotta tell ya, it's never been the case in the forty plus years I've lived in the area. I even worked there as a teen, made the same sandwich myself in the shop, and it was still good. There is just something in their ingredients. I don't know why. The same sandwich is not the same anywhere else to me. I hope you feel totally well soon xThanks! I'm just trying to listen and be present. Tummy is grumbling NOW and of course now is not a good time so I'm having what I'd have if the sandwich place exploded. ( thanks to the people who suggested talking to the six yr old!)Patti

April 27, 2011

Sounds like you did a great job on this issue and I like your solution of getting that sandwich when you go to the market. Glad I'm not the only " crazy " one . Sandy

I hear what you were saying, but given the hour (it was about 10pm), my options were limited to what I had in the house. I have a nice open pantry, and I looked in there, and I looked in the freezer, and I looked in the fridge. Those were my options. Too late to order out, and I don't know my neighbors (I moved to town a year and a half ago when my ex and I separated, and the only neighbor I know moved away.)

I think the internal six year old was mad because it felt very familiar to my childhood, being told that I could only have certain food, and not have other food, and being told I couldn't eat when I was hungry (literally, my stomach would be aching from hunger, and I'd feel wobbly, and I'd be told I couldn't eat.)

I think the distraction idea is good if I'm eating when I'm not hungry and I am just trying to solve some emotional problem with food, and I'll definitely remember that for next time. I think the issue here was being hungry and not feeling very interested in what I had. I ended up eating some yogurt that was ok, and really didn't hit the spot, but it made my stomach be quiet and stop complaining so it was better than nothing. I think what pissed me off is that I am finally listening to myself and not just eating what is on some list or what someone else says I should be eating, and it felt yucky that I couldn't support myself in that.

I brought it to the list to see what others do about this problem. I'll be interested to see if anyone else has had it.

Later I'm going to go to the market to get some food to stick in my freezer, and I'll run by that store to get that sandwich!!

BTW, Sandy, I did not think you are crazy. I do use " crazy " techniques like that when something feels overwhelming, and it helps me sort of get things in perspective!

Patti

What an interesting situation. When I get stuck with any decision I have found it useful or at least interesting to sit down with paper and pen and write down all the options I can think of no matter how wild or unrealistic. Brainstorming like this can often reveal an interesting, never thought of solution. Depending on the age of your children and other circumstances, maybe it would be a fun " trip " for them and an interesting model of how to take care of yourself. What about a friend or neighbor to babysit for a few minutes? Maybe you can write a letter to the " six year old " and see what she has to say. These are strange suggestions perhaps and I am guessing by the time on your email that this is too late anyway. Might be good for some time in the future. Let us know what solution you came up with. I'm not proud of what I did when my kids were little and I was addicted to cigarettes, but I left them home alone

and walked to the corner store to buy cigarettes. It was less than a block away but anything could have happened. I definitely would not recommend this. A little deep breathing, meditation, exercise, calling a friend, anything would have been a better choice. But I didn't know better choices back then and was really addicted. Sorry I got off on that. Next time try brainstorming alternatives no matter how wild and make it fun. Might even write a " a space ship came down and lifted me up to the sandwich shop " . Get real crazy. If nothing else you could have fun and it might become a good distraction. And no I'm not crazy, just a little cooky. Actually I learned that technique in a graduate school psychology class. Sandy

April 27, 2011

Sounds like you did a great job on this issue and I like your solution of getting that sandwich when you go to the market. Glad I'm not the only "crazy" one . SandySandy, I got the sandwich. I put half on a plate and dropped it on the floor! Doh! At least it wasnt the whole thing. It was very tasty and as it turned out, half hit the spot. That was nice to find out. Normally I'd have inhaled it so I never found out that half is going to be enough. The nice thing about that is I can save the other half for two meals next time. (I know I could eat the whole thing, but I may well be happy with half!)Yay! It's always nice to learn something new.

Patti

April 27, 2011

Another example of how a " bad " thing, dropping the sandwich, can lead to a " good thing " of realizing that half is enough. WOW! Sandy

Sounds like you did a great job on this issue and I like your solution of getting that sandwich when you go to the market. Glad I'm not the only " crazy " one . Sandy

Sandy, I got the sandwich. I put half on a plate and dropped it on the floor! Doh! At least it wasnt the whole thing. It was very tasty and as it turned out, half hit the spot. That was nice to find out. Normally I'd have inhaled it so I never found out that half is going to be enough. The nice thing about that is I can save the other half for two meals next time. (I know I could eat the whole thing, but I may well be happy with half!)

Yay! It's always nice to learn something new.

Patti

April 28, 2011

Patti, there is another IE type book called Overcoming Overeating in which the

authors suggest having a 'food bag' handy, especially in we begin getting going.

Stocking up worked well for me but not perfectly since I live out in the

'sticks' and don't tend to dash down to a grocery store whenever I feel I really

want something. Sounds like you connected the dots pretty well already, but

wanted to share that concept for those who haven't heard of it either.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I hear what you were saying, but given the hour (it was about 10pm), my

options

> were limited to what I had in the house. I have a nice open pantry, and I

looked

> in there, and I looked in the freezer, and I looked in the fridge. Those were

my

> options. Too late to order out, and I don't know my neighbors (I moved to town

a

> year and a half ago when my ex and I separated, and the only neighbor I know

> moved away.)

>

> I think the internal six year old was mad because it felt very familiar to my

> childhood, being told that I could only have certain food, and not have other

> food, and being told I couldn't eat when I was hungry (literally, my stomach

> would be aching from hunger, and I'd feel wobbly, and I'd be told I couldn't

> eat.)

>

> I think the distraction idea is good if I'm eating when I'm not hungry and I

am

> just trying to solve some emotional problem with food, and I'll definitely

> remember that for next time. I think the issue here was being hungry and not

> feeling very interested in what I had. I ended up eating some yogurt that was

> ok, and really didn't hit the spot, but it made my stomach be quiet and stop

> complaining so it was better than nothing. I think what pissed me off is that

I

> am finally listening to myself and not just eating what is on some list or

what

> someone else says I should be eating, and it felt yucky that I couldn't

support

> myself in that.

>

> I brought it to the list to see what others do about this problem. I'll be

> interested to see if anyone else has had it.

>

> Later I'm going to go to the market to get some food to stick in my freezer,

and

> I'll run by that store to get that sandwich!!

>

> BTW, Sandy, I did not think you are crazy. I do use " crazy " techniques like

that

> when something feels overwhelming, and it helps me sort of get things in

> perspective!

>

> Patti

>

April 28, 2011

>People frequently invite themselves over for holidays because I enjoy cooking

and they don't, and they say they like my food. What I am learning about those

situations is that it's ok not to make what everyone else wants. If they don't

like what I'm making, then perhaps they shouldn't invite themselves over.

Sounds GREAT to me Patti! If they don't 'request a menu', they shouldn't be bent

out of shape if they don't like the COOK'S CHOICE.

>

>I love to cook, but there are some things I love to have but take a long time

to cook outside of a special occasion, so I just buy them prepared and stick

them in the freezer.

> Patti

I too love to cook and bake too. One of my 'like duh!' moments since starting IE

was to switch over to making little cakes from a mix instead of the standard 2

layer. That way I could take out and ice a satisfying serving instead of getting

into the 'gotta eat it before it stales' mentality. I also found that if I made

cookies and froze them into small packages I didn't

eat-until-empty-bowl-syndrome either. It wasn't a 'dieting trick' to me, just a

help to not be triggered by seeing allllll that sitting there 'begging' to be

eaten (mindlessly).

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

April 28, 2011

What exactly do you mean by a " food bag " ? Sandy

Patti, there is another IE type book called Overcoming Overeating in which the authors suggest having a 'food bag' handy, especially in we begin getting going. Stocking up worked well for me but not perfectly since I live out in the 'sticks' and don't tend to dash down to a grocery store whenever I feel I really want something. Sounds like you connected the dots pretty well already, but wanted to share that concept for those who haven't heard of it either.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I hear what you were saying, but given the hour (it was about 10pm), my options

> were limited to what I had in the house. I have a nice open pantry, and I looked

> in there, and I looked in the freezer, and I looked in the fridge. Those were my

> options. Too late to order out, and I don't know my neighbors (I moved to town a

> year and a half ago when my ex and I separated, and the only neighbor I know

> moved away.)

>

> I think the internal six year old was mad because it felt very familiar to my

> childhood, being told that I could only have certain food, and not have other

> food, and being told I couldn't eat when I was hungry (literally, my stomach

> would be aching from hunger, and I'd feel wobbly, and I'd be told I couldn't

> eat.)

>

> I think the distraction idea is good if I'm eating when I'm not hungry and I am

> just trying to solve some emotional problem with food, and I'll definitely

> remember that for next time. I think the issue here was being hungry and not

> feeling very interested in what I had. I ended up eating some yogurt that was

> ok, and really didn't hit the spot, but it made my stomach be quiet and stop

> complaining so it was better than nothing. I think what pissed me off is that I

> am finally listening to myself and not just eating what is on some list or what

> someone else says I should be eating, and it felt yucky that I couldn't support

> myself in that.

>

> I brought it to the list to see what others do about this problem. I'll be

> interested to see if anyone else has had it.

>

> Later I'm going to go to the market to get some food to stick in my freezer, and

> I'll run by that store to get that sandwich!!

>

> BTW, Sandy, I did not think you are crazy. I do use " crazy " techniques like that

> when something feels overwhelming, and it helps me sort of get things in

> perspective!

>

> Patti

>

April 28, 2011

What exactly do you mean by a "food bag" ? Sandy