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Re: Avoiding the Mirror?

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Hi Deandra, I was there for a while... avoiding looking or really touching my body. Now I work to see that my body IS beautiful and so is yours. You need to change your mind and how it perceieves. All of us in my opinion, have diseased self perceptions based on a lifetime of media and social bombardment which is soooo contextual. What helped me was to stop reading magazines, stop most mainstream crap and instead starting looking at body and fat aceptance blogs and Fatshion blogs... and also art! lots and lots of art... during this "reprogramming" experience I noticed that I could LOOK at myself for the first time and realize: 1. that how I perceieved myself was totally distorted and not reality and 2. that I am lovely as I am. no ifs, buts, exceptions... its an ongoing process but

trust me making the effort to "change the channel" to one where you are beautiful and whole just the way you ARE and not the way you "should be".That dear ones actually... I wrote a poem about acceptence and for my sisters who struggle with it.... i hope you like it.MetaSyndromes

Please stop telling me about your New Year’s Resolutions. There is no pride in your shame

As if this conversation were about how you are lacking, how you think I might actually look on in

Approval when you tell me you have lost weight or going to or maybe how

Management scares you with Metabolic Syndrome and you should jump on board with their plan.

Cause I wanna teach you about how lovely you are. like

a kitten like a cloud at dawn like the rolling sea…are you gonna tell

me those waves are too fat? The Moon too rounded? That boulder afflicted with too much lump?

Cause I won’t give you… approval for a maybe–someday you… What.

Surprised? you get no smile. no head nod. no glib remark about lunch’s largesse…nu uh!

How DARE you believe yourself to be anything besides the Perfect Now-ness of You?

While you are busy with that madness. I whisper sweet dalliances to your body, a terrorist perhaps in your time of brainwashing but really I

like to call myself

the freedom fighter for

your soul.

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thu, February 24, 2011 9:28:25 PMSubject: Avoiding the Mirror?

Hello all!

I've noticed that the more I glance in the mirror, the more I scrutinize, the more body areas I find fault with, the lower my self-esteem goes.

There's nothing wrong with my body. It allows me to move and get where I need to go everyday; my heart pumps my blood, and my lungs take in the oxygen needed to keep my metabolic processes going.

At the same time I cannot get past the, "you could look better." "You're small, but not small enough," thoughts that plague me.

It's as if there's an angel and devil inside my head and the devil has the lead. Well I want the angel to crush the devil with sugary sweet thoughts and send it into a diabetic coma!

So I figured if I avoid the mirror for a while or at the very least no more than a quick glance to make sure my clothes match, that I could rebuild my love for my body as it is without all the judgment by not making it the focus of my life everyday after I step out the shower.

After all, I can't put down what I can't see, right?

I'm just not sure if this is healthy or not.

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I'm a size 24, and i'm beautiful. Most people may like chocolate ice

cream...and I'm cherry garcia. I have extra lumps and bumps, but I'm

also softer. I'm very good at hugging, and have an almost 100%

approval rating in the hug department. Kids love my smile and my

enthusiastic face. And, though they don't feel the freedom to

express themselves, there are many people out there who actually

prefer large women, who find us particularly attractive.

Now I've been comparing in a different way. What about working it,

so to speak? When I wear an outfit that I LOVE, with makeup, nicely

done hair, adorning and respecting myself as I should, loving my

body, am I not sexy? Have I ever found other large women sexy? The

answer is yes. And, the answer is internal... Women who hate their

bodies, for the most part, aren't very sexy. Women who love their

bodies, no matter the size, ARE. There's the difference...it's SUCH

an inside job.

I'm going to work my cherry chocolate flavor, knowing that maybe most

people prefer plain chocolate or vanilla (standard attractiveness)

but also knowing that those who like cherry chocolate will absolutely

love me. And, when I feel down, I go on youtube and listen to

Queen's Fat Bottomed Girls or some other fun pro-fat song. Why not?!?!

Something like that...life's too short to hate your body!!!

Hugs,

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I think that avoiding the mirror might be a good exercise, especially if you use

that time to really think about how you feel in your body and create a kinder

internal monologue. You might start to focus more on what you are accomplishing

and how well your body supports your daily activities.

I hadn't thought about a vacation from the mirror, but I am working to make

mirror time a kinder experience. When I hear myself say the same old negative

statements, I say to myself (sometimes out loud, if I am alone), " No, that's not

true. My stomach/thighs/fill in the blank hated body part is not

disgusting/enormous/fill in the blank criticism. " Then, I say something nice

about the usefulness of the body part and remind myself that I am beautiful just

as I am.

It sometimes felt forced at first, but after doing this for a couple of weeks, I

am starting to realize the unnatural, unbelievable voice is the one coming from

the devil on my shoulder. I see how false and cruel and inflated that voice is,

and it has helped that voice lose its power. I still hear that " devil's " voice

daily, but it is getting easier to brush those negative thoughts aside and

really see this person in the mirror without judgment.

>

> Hello all!

>

> I've noticed that the more I glance in the mirror, the more I scrutinize, the

more body areas I find fault with, the lower my self-esteem goes.

>

> There's nothing wrong with my body. It allows me to move and get where I need

to go everyday; my heart pumps my blood, and my lungs take in the oxygen needed

to keep my metabolic processes going.

>

> At the same time I cannot get past the, " you could look better. " " You're

small, but not small enough, " thoughts that plague me.

>

> It's as if there's an angel and devil inside my head and the devil has the

lead. Well I want the angel to crush the devil with sugary sweet thoughts and

send it into a diabetic coma!

>

> So I figured if I avoid the mirror for a while or at the very least no more

than a quick glance to make sure my clothes match, that I could rebuild my love

for my body as it is without all the judgment by not making it the focus of my

life everyday after I step out the shower.

>

> After all, I can't put down what I can't see, right?

>

> I'm just not sure if this is healthy or not.

>

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