Re: As long as you don't make me mad

[Guest guest]

Or " as long as mom is happy, everybody is happy " I hate that saying! its such

crap!

>

> This is the USUAL catchy phrase that my nada uses every time she comes for a

visit.

> She starts with a " well, let's hope that everythig goes well.. " and to the

typical response " Why shouldn't it go well? " she always ends with a cryptic

" things will go well, as long as you don't make me mad " , which infuriates me

right away.

>

> She knows very well that the rage and the arguments are always around the

corner, but with a 'preemptive strike' she put the blame already on me, no

matter what. Even before nothing happens, she is ready to blame me or my family

if SHE starts acting up.

>

> They are devilish, aren't they?

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, some nadas are so good at the game of manipulation its like a verbal chess

game, in a way; such nadas turn their ability to strategize into a kind of

perverted art-form. It is fascinating to watch a spider weaving its web, I

think. Your mother is brilliant, coming up with a preemptive strike like that,

I agree!

Too bad her intelligence and her talent for planning and strategy couldn't be

used for good instead of " evil. " She would make a fine general. I also think

such nadas have a lot of narcissistic pd traits, and possibly some antisocial pd

traits as well, and they're likely to be highly intelligent.

-Annie

>

> This is the USUAL catchy phrase that my nada uses every time she comes for a

visit.

> She starts with a " well, let's hope that everythig goes well.. " and to the

typical response " Why shouldn't it go well? " she always ends with a cryptic

" things will go well, as long as you don't make me mad " , which infuriates me

right away.

>

> She knows very well that the rage and the arguments are always around the

corner, but with a 'preemptive strike' she put the blame already on me, no

matter what. Even before nothing happens, she is ready to blame me or my family

if SHE starts acting up.

>

> They are devilish, aren't they?

>

[Guest guest]

This is sooooo nada-like. She doesn't say " unless I get mad " .

No, she has to give the responsibility for her emotions to you.

We're to blame if they feel negative emotions and they expect us

to do things to try to make them feel positive emotions. They

have no sense of being in control of what they feel. It is

always our responsibility.

At 06:29 AM 08/21/2010 Vero wrote:

>This is the USUAL catchy phrase that my nada uses every time

>she comes for a visit.

>She starts with a " well, let's hope that everythig goes well.. "

>and to the typical response " Why shouldn't it go well? " she

>always ends with a cryptic " things will go well, as long as you

>don't make me mad " , which infuriates me right away.

>

>She knows very well that the rage and the arguments are always

>around the corner, but with a 'preemptive strike' she put the

>blame already on me, no matter what. Even before nothing

>happens, she is ready to blame me or my family if SHE starts

>acting up.

>

>They are devilish, aren't they?

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

gosh, before she gets a chance you can say, 'it will, as long as you don't make

me mad.'. LOL

>

> This is the USUAL catchy phrase that my nada uses every time she comes for a

visit.

> She starts with a " well, let's hope that everythig goes well.. " and to the

typical response " Why shouldn't it go well? " she always ends with a cryptic

" things will go well, as long as you don't make me mad " , which infuriates me

right away.

>

> She knows very well that the rage and the arguments are always around the

corner, but with a 'preemptive strike' she put the blame already on me, no

matter what. Even before nothing happens, she is ready to blame me or my family

if SHE starts acting up.

>

> They are devilish, aren't they?

>

[Guest guest]

I totally agree, we got the strength, but not the way they like to think….hahaha

let em think they have that halo, we all know >

> >Oh , I know how that goes. They take credit for

> >everything. Even to this day, I have not spoken to my nada in

> >over 8 years and yet she claims I am now strong and tough

> >because that is how she raised me! I got my strength from her!

> >HAHAHA ROTFLMAO! LB

>

> --

> Katrina

>

[Guest guest]

This is a little off topic, but reminded me how hypocritcal nadas can be. I

remember my mother going into a full blown meltdown when she found out that

ville would be getting the Jaguars football team. She talked for weeks

and weeks about how run down it would make the city and bring in " riff raff. "

WEEKS!!! Then when my husband and I moved to Atlanta, she turned it all around

into what a wonderful city we were leaving for this trash ridden town of

atlanta, lol.

Re: Re: " As long as you don't make me mad "

In a way, I'd say is at least partially responsible, but not in

a way that says anything good about her. We are forced to learn

to be strong and tough to survive the abuse and neglect while

growing up.

Taking credit is something they're so good at. My nada acts like

she's basking in the glory of various things that we do when she

talks to outsiders. The things in question have nothing to do

with her, but she seems to feel like people should think well of

her because her children have done various good things. Her

prattlings about my sister being in the army make me sick. She

didn't like that choice when my sister made it, so what possible

right could she have to somehow take credit for her choice? How

can she go around bragging about my sister 's accomplishments

when she's never had a good word to say to my sister herself?

At 10:02 AM 08/23/2010 faerydancing96 wrote:

>Oh , I know how that goes. They take credit for

>everything. Even to this day, I have not spoken to my nada in

>over 8 years and yet she claims I am now strong and tough

>because that is how she raised me! I got my strength from her!

>HAHAHA ROTFLMAO! LB

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

Yeah. My mother isolated us really really bad. And when she died, her own

brother didnt want to come to the funeral.

Re: " As long as you don't make me mad "

It's amazing how good they are at isolation! I started looking at the way our

family works - nada doesn't talk to anyone from ANY side of the family except my

sister who calls her religiously. And she sends emails that try to explain how

awful these family members are and how I should stay away from them because

they're thieves and murderers.

WHY so dramatic!?

> > >

> > > This is the USUAL catchy phrase that my nada uses every time she comes

> for a visit.

> > > She starts with a " well, let's hope that everythig goes well.. " and to

> the typical response " Why shouldn't it go well? " she always ends with a

> cryptic " things will go well, as long as you don't make me mad " , which

> infuriates me right away.

> > >

> > > She knows very well that the rage and the arguments are always around

> the corner, but with a 'preemptive strike' she put the blame already on me,

> no matter what. Even before nothing happens, she is ready to blame me or my

> family if SHE starts acting up.

> > >

> > > They are devilish, aren't they?

>

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hmmm, maybe this is a flea, but talking about isolating and not going to

funerals - thats me. I'm NC, I don't interact. I haven't been to a big

family party in 7 years. I guess I could be accused of isolating. Of course,

its just me - who am I isolating from. But if I had kids it would be even

stricter. I'd probably change my name and move.

>

>

> Yeah. My mother isolated us really really bad. And when she died, her own

> brother didnt want to come to the funeral.

>

>

> Re: " As long as you don't make me mad "

>

> It's amazing how good they are at isolation! I started looking at the way

> our family works - nada doesn't talk to anyone from ANY side of the family

> except my sister who calls her religiously. And she sends emails that try to

> explain how awful these family members are and how I should stay away from

> them because they're thieves and murderers.

>

> WHY so dramatic!?

>

>

> > > >

> > > > This is the USUAL catchy phrase that my nada uses every time she

> comes

> > for a visit.

> > > > She starts with a " well, let's hope that everythig goes well.. " and

> to

> > the typical response " Why shouldn't it go well? " she always ends with a

> > cryptic " things will go well, as long as you don't make me mad " , which

> > infuriates me right away.

> > > >

> > > > She knows very well that the rage and the arguments are always around

> > the corner, but with a 'preemptive strike' she put the blame already on

> me,

> > no matter what. Even before nothing happens, she is ready to blame me or

> my

> > family if SHE starts acting up.

> > > >

> > > > They are devilish, aren't they?

> >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Sometimes I tell my mother " Call me back when you're done with your temper

tantrum. " And she'll leave me voicemails or emails that say " I would have had a

tantrum if you didn't... *whatever I did/said she didn't like " . No

responsibility for her own actions, no realization that no matter what I did or

said 57 year olds should be throwing tantrums!!

She also told me a lot of things like that as a kid, like " Why do you like to

hurt me? " Sometimes making it sound like my purpose in life - hell my EXISTANCE

- is just to hurt her.

A couple weeks ago she determined that EVERYTHING i do is because i hate her and

so I'm trying to " rebel " (i'm way past that - i'm almost 30) and do everything

opposite. Her examples are that I'm fat and don't ever exercise (I don't even

know why she determined I don't exercise, I was just telling her a few days

before this that I tried to go on my exercise bike 3 times a week), that I

picked my partner based on what she wouldn't like (yes I don't actually feel

love, I just pretend to love someone to piss her off), and that I am a computer

nerd because I knew it would piss her off to be so much like my dad. It's like I

have no self at all, everything I do or don't do or like is all about her!

More quotes from childhood - " I had to have another kid because you didn't love

me enough " " Don't make your brother hit you! " (my brother was also never

considered responsible for his actions, except if he hit HER) " Why did you make

me say/do that? " " You must like it when I'm depressed/mat or you wouldn't make

me be that way! "

> > >

> > > This is the USUAL catchy phrase that my nada uses every time she comes for

a visit.

> > > She starts with a " well, let's hope that everythig goes well.. " and to the

typical response " Why shouldn't it go well? " she always ends with a cryptic

" things will go well, as long as you don't make me mad " , which infuriates me

right away.

> > >

> > > She knows very well that the rage and the arguments are always around the

corner, but with a 'preemptive strike' she put the blame already on me, no

matter what. Even before nothing happens, she is ready to blame me or my family

if SHE starts acting up.

> > >

> > > They are devilish, aren't they?

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

You " make me be that way! "

Wow!!! I'm glad you are here. Maybe a little LC action is called for at this

time. I'm sorry she said those things but I " m glad you know better now.

Yeah, my nada thought I was too much like my dad too. I think she wanted me

to be her little doll clone.

On Tue, Aug 24, 2010 at 6:44 PM, slingshot2hell wrote:

>

>

> Sometimes I tell my mother " Call me back when you're done with your temper

> tantrum. " And she'll leave me voicemails or emails that say " I would have

> had a tantrum if you didn't... *whatever I did/said she didn't like " . No

> responsibility for her own actions, no realization that no matter what I did

> or said 57 year olds should be throwing tantrums!!

>

> She also told me a lot of things like that as a kid, like " Why do you like

> to hurt me? " Sometimes making it sound like my purpose in life - hell my

> EXISTANCE - is just to hurt her.

>

> A couple weeks ago she determined that EVERYTHING i do is because i hate

> her and so I'm trying to " rebel " (i'm way past that - i'm almost 30) and do

> everything opposite. Her examples are that I'm fat and don't ever exercise

> (I don't even know why she determined I don't exercise, I was just telling

> her a few days before this that I tried to go on my exercise bike 3 times a

> week), that I picked my partner based on what she wouldn't like (yes I don't

> actually feel love, I just pretend to love someone to piss her off), and

> that I am a computer nerd because I knew it would piss her off to be so much

> like my dad. It's like I have no self at all, everything I do or don't do or

> like is all about her!

>

> More quotes from childhood - " I had to have another kid because you didn't

> love me enough " " Don't make your brother hit you! " (my brother was also

> never considered responsible for his actions, except if he hit HER) " Why did

> you make me say/do that? " " You must like it when I'm depressed/mat or you

> wouldn't make me be that way! "

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > This is the USUAL catchy phrase that my nada uses every time she

> comes for a visit.

> > > > She starts with a " well, let's hope that everythig goes well.. " and

> to the typical response " Why shouldn't it go well? " she always ends with a

> cryptic " things will go well, as long as you don't make me mad " , which

> infuriates me right away.

> > > >

> > > > She knows very well that the rage and the arguments are always around

> the corner, but with a 'preemptive strike' she put the blame already on me,

> no matter what. Even before nothing happens, she is ready to blame me or my

> family if SHE starts acting up.

> > > >

> > > > They are devilish, aren't they?

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >