Guest guest Posted September 8, 2010 Report Share Posted September 8, 2010 the thought that keeps going thru my mind as I read this is. If Auntie and Brother are so concerned about Nada..why don't they get her to a Dr...call a Dr. for her...Why call you?..are you a Dr? They are just as capable of helping her as you have been. They just would rather have you take care of her so they don't have to worry...I have a similar situation with my brother and Uncle...And I have come to the conclusion that I need to set some boundaries with them...If they are so " concerned " they can get her help. I hope nothing serious is wrong with my mother but either way I don't want to be involved..frankly I don't even want to know if I had my choice. Don't let them guilt you... Stefanie > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > contact with him. > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to > me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it > don't worry there isn't. > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to > her. > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this > is not a surprise. > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > involved. > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to > Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't > told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to > see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds > like he believes I shouldn't. > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > Riah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2010 Report Share Posted September 8, 2010 Well put, I was going to write something similar myself. Instead, I'll just say " I agree! " -Annie > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > > contact with him. > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to > > me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to > > her. > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this > > is not a surprise. > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > involved. > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to > > Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't > > told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to > > see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds > > like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 it sounds like she has a 'staff infection'. sorry for the bad joke. i wouldn't blame you for telling her 'staff' to lay off of you, maybe you can gently suggest something like codependents anonymous to them...that usually gets people to back away slowly...my mischevious side thinks maybe you can tell them you just became a Moonie and you should all meet and pray for her and to share your new faith with them, or maybe you could get together and share some prayer and possibly sell them some Amway as it's your latest venture or something. I do think they are being infected by her drama and are playing 'run and tell' someone. > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > Riah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 At this point, she has lots of people playing into it who can help. You've made your stance clear to everyone. It is not YOUR responsibility. If they are so concerned, then they can deal with it. Bottom line. Your mother is an adult and can take care of herself. If she can't, well, then sucks to be her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 " Run, Riah, Run! " I love it, but alas I have been running for a few years now. Still, very fitting. My brother did not come out of our childhood era without major emotional wreckage. I wouldn't be the least surprised if he has an Axis II disorder as well. On the upside for me he is on Parole in Colorado and I am many states away so there will be no couch surfing here. Even if he did show up there is no way he'd be staying here. Nada has tried the " oh no! I have nowhere to go and look you have extra room! " thing before... Never again. I'm seriously considering changing my phone number... > > > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > > > palm. > > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > > > I > > > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > > > just > > > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > > > > contact with him. > > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > > messaged > > > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > > > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > > > breast > > > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > > > because > > > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > > > it > > > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > > > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > > > to > > > > her. > > > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > > > is > > > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > > > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > > > due > > > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > > > along > > > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > > > see > > > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > > > this > > > > is not a surprise. > > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > > > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > > > in > > > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > > > her > > > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > > > this > > > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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