Re: New Here... anyone have people act threatened by your IE choice?

[Guest guest]

I have found that people who have issues with dieting...as we all have....but have not decided to stop dieting are the people that get upset or intimadated when we talk about IE. But the ones that are 'okay' with the dieting process are not as intimidated. I have a friend who 'diets'. I mean, she measures every stinking thing she puts in her mouth and weighs and measures and the girl has abs like you wouldn't believe. She is like a super diet health nut and LOVES it! It works for her. She has been doing this for as long as I can remember. She works at the YMCA as a fitness director and has a degree in exercise science. She really loves that lifestyle and it realy works for her. And...she is TOTALLY supportive of my choice of IE. Why....because it does not intimadate her. She is fine where she is and likes that I am fine where I am. BUT....people who have so much trouble with the dieting yo yo are the ones that get defensive. They

don't want to let go of dieting because then they REALLY think that all will be lost. I can remember when I felt that way. I think maybe that is why people are defensive about it. It is to bad those people won't listen and give IE a chance but we all know that this is something we can only do when we are truly ready to make a change. Thank God we have come full circle and realize what we have been doing to ourselves with all the diets. We should pray that they will do the same one day. Be blessed, Dawn

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thu, April 7, 2011 1:13:02 AMSubject: New Here... anyone have people act "threatened" by your IE choice?

I've been doing IE for a while now (October 2007), and I've noticed a trend. People who are actively dieting will get very defensive when I bring up my *personal* choice to STOP dieting. I always sprinkle my stories with "this was my choice" and "this was best for me" and "everyone needs to find their own answers." Yet it doesn't seem to matter.It recently cost me a friend on facebook. I was so stunned. She wasn't someone I knew that well, but she mentioned having gone to the gym to join and be measured. She talked about how humiliated she felt with the measuring. I simply stated that I stopped getting weighed or measured several years back and it's been a lot healthier for me emotionally.She replied with comments about how I must not need to lose weight (which is not even slightly true if you're using BMI type standards... or anyone else's, frankly - except my own). She told me she wasn't dieting, but doing Weight Watchers (which made

me groan because, for me, WW was the single worst DIET I did). She loved herself, but needed to be healthier. I said it sounded like she had a great mindset and tried to leave it at that... then she unfriended me and I was stunned. It's not the first "friend" I've lost. I switched from being a diet blogger to being an IE blogger (I don't have time for it anymore) and lost a LOT of followers. It's like they're threatened, somehow, by the fact that I've decided to accept my body as is, judge it as little as possible and eat whatever I decide I want or need in a given moment.The result for me hasn't been weight loss. However, it has been weight stability. I doubt my weight has fluctuated more than 15 pounds since I began IE. Since before I was yo-yo dieting, regularly losing 25 - 30 pounds and then gaining that plus 25 back, this is huge progress for me.I would love to be what I consider thin. It's not that I wouldn't. Shopping

would be easier, I wouldn't worry about booths at diners... etc. etc. But the bottom line is, I dieting for over 20 years. It did nothing except - in the long run - make me fatter. It also totally destroyed my metabolism. Things got even worse because I have Hashimoto's Thyroid Disease now, and that makes losing weight damn near impossible. Last summer, my gallbladder had to come out in emergency surgery. For a full month, I ate very little. When I began eating again, it was extremely low fat for weeks. If I lost even 8 pounds, I'd be stunned. That may seem like a lot, but in my earliest years on Weight Watchers I'd often lose between 11 - 13 pounds my first WEEK. And often up to 8 the second. So, 8 pounds in 6 weeks is not much at all... comparatively speaking.The point being... dieting is just a vicious circle for me. It's down, up, down, up, down... you get the point. It got harder and harder to accomplish any "down." I felt horrible about

myself.You may wonder why WW was the worst diet for me. They spend SO much time preaching about how it's NOT a diet. It's a lifestyle, it's easy, it's the light at the end of the tunnel. Well, when I was "good" on WW and didn't lose weight? Or worse, gained? I felt like the world's biggest failure. If I couldn't lose weight doing that, I might as well run out and have my stomach stapled. WW was so easy and so simple, that failure felt like... 100 times worse. Atkins is hard. South Beach is hard. THey're way more restrictive. But WW... you can "eat anything and lose weight." But I got to a point where that was proving less and less true. I knew I couldn't diet anymore. I just didn't know that not dieting was an option that anyone, least of all an eating disorder therapist, would consider acceptable. Now, I know... and it sucks to have people find this intimidating or threatening.

[Guest guest]

Welcome and great post Lucie. Yes I have noticed the garlic necklaces and cherry

wood crosses appear when I mention or attempt to explain IE. My answer is to

simply NOT say a thing past that I do IE. If the person asks for more, then I

may say more, but do all I can to not go zealot and overwhelm. I figure that the

person is either ready to hear and try or not - their choice. And their choices

do not have to be mine either.

Like you my main 'gain' with IE has been the freedom to stop being jerked around

by diet stupidity. (like insanity - doing the same thing over and over again yet

expecting different results). I too have hovered at a weight range which isn't

where I would LIKE to be, but is OK and certainly much better than the continual

creep upward that dieting causes. I've had my lighter times and heavier moments

too. I'm learning to enjoy the lighter ones and not boomerang back to

'reduction!' thinking when I find myself uncomfortable (aka heavier). And that

is one of the fabulous parts of IE - failure isn't part of it! Its simply pick

up and go forth.

Best to you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I've been doing IE for a while now (October 2007), and I've noticed a trend.

People who are actively dieting will get very defensive when I bring up my

*personal* choice to STOP dieting. I always sprinkle my stories with " this was

my choice " and " this was best for me " and " everyone needs to find their own

answers. " Yet it doesn't seem to matter.

>

> It recently cost me a friend on facebook. I was so stunned. She wasn't someone

I knew that well, but she mentioned having gone to the gym to join and be

measured. She talked about how humiliated she felt with the measuring. I simply

stated that I stopped getting weighed or measured several years back and it's

been a lot healthier for me emotionally.

>

> She replied with comments about how I must not need to lose weight (which is

not even slightly true if you're using BMI type standards... or anyone else's,

frankly - except my own). She told me she wasn't dieting, but doing Weight

Watchers (which made me groan because, for me, WW was the single worst DIET I

did). She loved herself, but needed to be healthier. I said it sounded like she

had a great mindset and tried to leave it at that... then she unfriended me and

I was stunned.

>

> It's not the first " friend " I've lost. I switched from being a diet blogger to

being an IE blogger (I don't have time for it anymore) and lost a LOT of

followers. It's like they're threatened, somehow, by the fact that I've decided

to accept my body as is, judge it as little as possible and eat whatever I

decide I want or need in a given moment.

>

> The result for me hasn't been weight loss. However, it has been weight

stability. I doubt my weight has fluctuated more than 15 pounds since I began

IE. Since before I was yo-yo dieting, regularly losing 25 - 30 pounds and then

gaining that plus 25 back, this is huge progress for me.

>

> I would love to be what I consider thin. It's not that I wouldn't. Shopping

would be easier, I wouldn't worry about booths at diners... etc. etc. But the

bottom line is, I dieting for over 20 years. It did nothing except - in the long

run - make me fatter. It also totally destroyed my metabolism. Things got even

worse because I have Hashimoto's Thyroid Disease now, and that makes losing

weight damn near impossible. Last summer, my gallbladder had to come out in

emergency surgery. For a full month, I ate very little. When I began eating

again, it was extremely low fat for weeks. If I lost even 8 pounds, I'd be

stunned. That may seem like a lot, but in my earliest years on Weight Watchers

I'd often lose between 11 - 13 pounds my first WEEK. And often up to 8 the

second. So, 8 pounds in 6 weeks is not much at all... comparatively speaking.

>

> The point being... dieting is just a vicious circle for me. It's down, up,

down, up, down... you get the point. It got harder and harder to accomplish any

" down. " I felt horrible about myself.

>

> You may wonder why WW was the worst diet for me. They spend SO much time

preaching about how it's NOT a diet. It's a lifestyle, it's easy, it's the light

at the end of the tunnel. Well, when I was " good " on WW and didn't lose weight?

Or worse, gained? I felt like the world's biggest failure. If I couldn't lose

weight doing that, I might as well run out and have my stomach stapled. WW was

so easy and so simple, that failure felt like... 100 times worse. Atkins is

hard. South Beach is hard. THey're way more restrictive. But WW... you can " eat

anything and lose weight. " But I got to a point where that was proving less and

less true.

>

> I knew I couldn't diet anymore. I just didn't know that not dieting was an

option that anyone, least of all an eating disorder therapist, would consider

acceptable.

>

> Now, I know... and it sucks to have people find this intimidating or

threatening.

>

[Guest guest]

Failure not being part of it is the best part of IE. It's just nice to not

constantly beat myself up when really, I've done nothing wrong. The therapist

that introduced me to IE used to tell me that I needed to be gentle with myself

if I overate... she said " food did something for you for many years, and it's

okay to use it that way sometimes. "

I never had a therapist give me permission to eat... to use food as comfort. It

made such a difference. It's remarkable, but when I started to let myself eat

whatever I wanted without the rules and restrictions, I really was freed from a

lot of the eating disorder baggage.

I certainly can't claim I never binge... but it's rare. It's also rare that I

wind up uncomfortably full. When I was dieting, these were common occurrences. I

was also eating foods I didn't really like, foods that upset my stomach (I have

IBS and trying to stuff myself on salads was BAD for my system)... I eat what I

like, when I'm hungry... and sometimes when I'm not.

But I do think this attitude intimidates people. I was desperate. I was at a

point where the thought of doing another diet made me wanna cry or scream or

maybe both. I was ready to hear " there's a solution that doesn't involve dieting

or scales. "

I'm also lucky that my primary care doctor is supportive of this choice and

hasn't tried to get me to get weighed since October 2008. Nor does she try to

pin every health issue I have on my weight (really, only once has she ever said

something was weight related... or at least affected by it).

I also live someplace where people don't really care about looks. It's a nice

change of pace.

[Guest guest]

A place where people don't care about looks!? Wow, I wanna move there!

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Fri, April 8, 2011 1:37:38 AMSubject: Re: New Here... anyone have people act "threatened" by your IE choice?

Failure not being part of it is the best part of IE. It's just nice to not constantly beat myself up when really, I've done nothing wrong. The therapist that introduced me to IE used to tell me that I needed to be gentle with myself if I overate... she said "food did something for you for many years, and it's okay to use it that way sometimes." I never had a therapist give me permission to eat... to use food as comfort. It made such a difference. It's remarkable, but when I started to let myself eat whatever I wanted without the rules and restrictions, I really was freed from a lot of the eating disorder baggage. I certainly can't claim I never binge... but it's rare. It's also rare that I wind up uncomfortably full. When I was dieting, these were common occurrences. I was also eating foods I didn't really like, foods that upset my stomach (I have IBS and trying to stuff myself on salads was BAD for my system)... I eat what I like,

when I'm hungry... and sometimes when I'm not. But I do think this attitude intimidates people. I was desperate. I was at a point where the thought of doing another diet made me wanna cry or scream or maybe both. I was ready to hear "there's a solution that doesn't involve dieting or scales." I'm also lucky that my primary care doctor is supportive of this choice and hasn't tried to get me to get weighed since October 2008. Nor does she try to pin every health issue I have on my weight (really, only once has she ever said something was weight related... or at least affected by it). I also live someplace where people don't really care about looks. It's a nice change of pace.

[Guest guest]

Hey all,

I don't care if people are threatened.

I just realized that I haven't weighed myself in six months. That's awesome.

[Guest guest]

That's awesome. I haven't been weighed since sometime in Autumn of 2008. It's

been the best thing.

I don't care if people are threatened, either. It's frustrating to lose

" friends " over it, but you know, that's their problem, not mine.

I'm happy to not be dieting anymore. It would be lovely to have a magic wand

waved and be thinner, but I'm not willing to do to myself what I did for so many

years, especially knowing what I do now. I now know that losing weight for me

would always have been difficult... and all the yo-yo dieting just made it even

harder and worse.

Fat and happy? Yep. That's me. Don't like it? Too damn bad.

>

> Hey all,

>

> I don't care if people are threatened.? ?

>

> I just realized that I haven't weighed myself in six months.? That's awesome.?

>

[Guest guest]

good for you, Lucie!i love your attitude!abby

 

That's awesome. I haven't been weighed since sometime in Autumn of 2008. It's been the best thing.

I don't care if people are threatened, either. It's frustrating to lose " friends " over it, but you know, that's their problem, not mine.

I'm happy to not be dieting anymore. It would be lovely to have a magic wand waved and be thinner, but I'm not willing to do to myself what I did for so many years, especially knowing what I do now. I now know that losing weight for me would always have been difficult... and all the yo-yo dieting just made it even harder and worse.

Fat and happy? Yep. That's me. Don't like it? Too damn bad.

>

> Hey all,

>

> I don't care if people are threatened.? ?

>

> I just realized that I haven't weighed myself in six months.? That's awesome.?

>