Re:therapy notes

[Guest guest]

This might be a good week for me to do this exercise, as I have been

stymied myself in my own therapy process, really wondering what it is

doing for me, if anything. But please do not let my jaded experience

get in your way.

My therapist knows about BPD, but lately just lets me talk. (Offering

perspectives only when she feels it is important to do so.) Maybe it

because she has seen me bring up issues and generally find my way to

deal with them? I need to ask her this point blank, because I am

feeling unfocused there. I have appreciated her for the early part

of my journey, so that I could heal from a misdiagnosis. She helped

me also recognize I had a nada, by having the Eggshells book on her

shelf for years, while I ignored it. What I mean is she let me

discover the futility of my mother in my own time frame when I was

ready and strong enough. Then when I showed her the checklist, she

said, " Yes, you're probably right. Would you like to take the book

home with you? " And that became our study off and on for the next

year. Continuing as I read from this list, when I can.

Now that I know the relationship with nada is unredeemable, am not

feeling like there is a concrete reason to see her any longer. That

is not necessarily her " fault " . I think there are ebbs and flows in

this recovery process and I may be taking for granted that through our

work I have learned how to use more tools outside of therapy to help

me.

I guess, girls scout your post yesterday (which I read just now) came

at a good time. You shared this the very day I had my therapy I

encountered my Inner Nada, after weeks of having a respite from her.

Your topic is timely for me. Thanks...this will be something to

journal about. I hope others will share too!