Re: How do I stop blaming/enabling her?

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Just so you know, this Group is geared toward the non-bpd offspring of bpd

parents. We tend to vent a lot here about the damage done to us by our bpd

parents, so you're likely to encounter an enormous amount of pain, grief, anger,

resentment and even hate towards the condition of bpd here. If this won't hurt

you or trigger you, then you can probably get some good insights and opinions

about dealing with your situation with your bpd mom, here.

Some of us here don't feel that its necessary to forgive an abuser (even if its

a parent), that its more important to protect ourselves from further abuse and

move on with our lives. Others do want to forgive their abusers or have done

so, and others are undecided and looking for an answer that works. The path to

healing is individual, there's no one right path that must be taken. Each

person has to decide for himself or herself what they can and can't tolerate, RE

maintaining or not maintaining contact with a mentally ill parent.

-Annie

>

> I am a borderline who has a borderline parent. Lately, I've been trying to set

boundaries in our relationship that allow me some breathing room from her. I

have not called her or spoke to her except for when we both were at the hospital

for my nephew. The other day I got an email from her saying that we hadn't

talked in forever and that it was her fault. How do I go on from this? Do I keep

on with this and allow her to build our relationship or keep on with the usual

distressing pattern?

>

> When I was younger, I was verbally and physically abused and I still don't

know how to move on from it, I don't know how to forgive her. For denying her

mental health state and denying that I had anything wrong with me. I learn all

of my borderline traits from her and her behavior. How do I forgive her for

this?

>