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Hi Jen,

I completely understand where you're coming from of course because I've been feeling the same way.

In so many ways intuitive eating really does make sense and even legalizing restricted foods makes sense, and I've already done so much of legalizing! I don't regret that I can have cake and cookies and chocolate and stuff like that in the house and not gobble them up, but I did put on a lot of weight when I stopped dieting; I don't think it was from legalizing as much as it was from gaining weight after 18 yrs of dieting because I finally stopped starving myself. But I do gain some weight from legalizing foods also because I do eat more than I need for a while before I get to the point where I can have the food around and not be overly tempted to eat past a point of comfortably full.

It seems to me that, in theory, continuing to legalize the foods that I still haven't makes sense, but practically speaking I'm not going to have that food every day til I can have it around because I'm not willing to gain any more weight. I know this disagrees with the principles but I can't help feeling this way.

I'm not restricting anything, but I'm not in the mood to eat one thing for ten days in a row either; I'm at the point where I just want to be normal, lol, and I want to have an eating style that's balanced while not restricting anything. But I can't stand the thought of not having a normal, healthy, balanced eating style anymore. Chicken parm ten days in a row is not my idea of balanced, but not restricting it and having it if I really want it is also very important. right now I think I'll plan to have it once a week and then if I really, really want it I will have it more than that but I'm not bringing in 20 chicken parm dinners and eating them all week long!

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Tue, February 2, 2010 1:01:41 PMSubject: Re: Been so busy!!!

hi Laurie,i can sort of relate to what you're saying, i think, tho my circumstances are different.i've gained 20 lbs in this past year in part from becoming way more sedentary due to agoraphobia and other anxiety, perhaps due to some of the medications i'm on and from partially easing up on restricting my eating.i feel like i haven't even really begun the IE process and i've already gained weight. i feel like my body really has the starvation mode in high gear! i'm a size 18/20 and have partially accepted the way my body is now. i feel very sad and sometimes panicky thinking about becoming larger, espcially since i am not eating all that differently.anyway...mainly just wanted to say what you wrote resonated with me...good luck with your journey,jen todd> > > > > Hi Everyone,> > > I don't want you all to think I've fallen off the face of the > > > earth!!! I was very busy with paperwork and got 99% of it in; this > > > upcoming week I aught to have all the rest taken care of and then > > > the stress will be just waiting to see how things go.> > >> > > I am sorry, I haven't even had time to read any of your emails!!> > >> > > As far as food goes..wow..it' s much more of a challenge when my > > > level of stress is extremely high...and I also think my harmones are > > > messing with me sometimes!!> > >> > > I have to say that I haven't had any lengthy periods of binging, and > > > I used to go five days in a row before I can stop.> > >>

> > What I'm doing now instead is an improvement; I'll be fine till > > > about 6pm or so, and even then I will have waited til hungry to eat, > > > but that meal is way, way bigger than any human being would need to > > > get full; I think I'm having a big feast, lol. I have zero will to > > > stop eating!!! But then after, when I'm over-full, whereas I used > > > to continue to binge through the night and into the next day, I'm > > > not doing that. I'm not eating and just waiting til hungry the next > > > day. So big improvement from what I used to do when very stressed, > > > but still eating enough to create a bit of weight gain on a body > > > that's already big. I'm not beating myself up.> > >> > > But I am confused about the eat what you want; I am a true believer > > > that if we eat

what we want enough it will lose its specialness, but > > > sometimes I think the amount I'd have to eat to get those foods to > > > be ordinary would create a bunch more weight gain. I have certain > > > foods that are still "special" and I have no will power to eat a > > > "normal" amount. Lots of foods, that I used to restrict, I can > > > have and not overeat, but certain foods like a great Italian > > > restaurant version of chicken parm......well, that is too hard to > > > stop eating right now. I think the goal is balance; I don't think I > > > want to be a health extremist, but I sure want to eat a large > > > variety of healthy foods but I sure can't restrict the chicken parm > > > cause you can bet that will lead to an all out binge of it unless I > > > avoid it forever. But I don't really want to have

it ten times in > > > a row til it seems ordinary because that will be another 20 Lb > > > weight gain cause I don't stop at a> > > normal amount.> > >> > > I know my goal is a healthy, balanced way of eating where no food is > > > restricted but sometimes I don't know in the moment whether to have > > > the chicken parm AGAIN to make it more ordinary, or whether to pick > > > the salad because it's so good for me. If I could just have a > > > normal balance of variety of foods that would be great, but then > > > there are foods that are still "special" so how can I be the normal > > > eater I want to be around those foods?> > >> > > I still don't feel like I have all the answers!!!> > >> > > Laurie> > >>

>>

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I have to jump in on this conversation because I’m starting to

find myself in a mental crisis with this.

How do I know my inner compulsive overeater isn’t just living

large on this idea that it can eat whatever it wants when it wants it?  Last

night I had brownies at two different meals and French fries at one.  I didn’t

feel “guilty†about it but at the same time part of me is aware that long term

eating like this has to have the same consequences as all the other brownies

and French fries I’ve eaten in my life.

Doesn’t there reach a point where I have to “force†myself to

head towards gentle nutrition?  I’m mentally good with the idea that I can eat

whatever I want when I want to…or at least I think I am.  Maybe I’m not until I

stop having the internal debate I’m voicing here?

From: IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of lori

Sent: Wednesday, February 03, 2010 8:29 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: Re: Been so busy!!!

Hi Jen,

I completely understand where you're coming from of course

because I've been feeling the same way.

In so many ways intuitive eating really does make sense and

even legalizing restricted foods makes sense, and I've already done so much of

legalizing! I don't regret that I can have cake and cookies and chocolate

and stuff like that in the house and not gobble them up, but I did put on a lot

of weight when I stopped dieting; I don't think it was from legalizing as much

as it was from gaining weight after 18 yrs of dieting because I finally stopped

starving myself. But I do gain some weight from legalizing foods also

because I do eat more than I need for a while before I get to the point where I

can have the food around and not be overly tempted to eat past a point of

comfortably full.

It seems to me that, in theory, continuing to legalize the

foods that I still haven't makes sense, but practically speaking I'm not going

to have that food every day til I can have it around because I'm not willing to

gain any more weight. I know this disagrees with the principles but I

can't help feeling this way.

I'm not restricting anything, but I'm not in the mood to eat

one thing for ten days in a row either; I'm at the point where I just want to

be normal, lol, and I want to have an eating style that's balanced while not

restricting anything. But I can't stand the thought of not having a

normal, healthy, balanced eating style anymore. Chicken parm ten days in

a row is not my idea of balanced, but not restricting it and having it if I

really want it is also very important. right now I think I'll plan to

have it once a week and then if I really, really want it I will have it more

than that but I'm not bringing in 20 chicken parm dinners and eating them all

week long!

Laurie

From: jentodd510

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tue, February 2, 2010 1:01:41 PM

Subject: Re: Been so busy!!!

hi Laurie,

i can sort of relate to what you're saying, i think, tho my circumstances are

different.

i've gained 20 lbs in this past year in part from becoming way more sedentary

due to agoraphobia and other anxiety, perhaps due to some of the medications

i'm on and from partially easing up on restricting my eating.

i feel like i haven't even really begun the IE process and i've already gained

weight. i feel like my body really has the starvation mode in high gear! i'm a

size 18/20 and have partially accepted the way my body is now. i feel very sad

and sometimes panicky thinking about becoming larger, espcially since i am not

eating all that differently.

anyway...mainly just wanted to say what you wrote resonated with me...

good luck with your journey,

jen todd

> >

> > > Hi Everyone,

> > > I don't want you all to think I've fallen off the face of the

> > > earth!!! I was very busy with paperwork and got 99% of it in;

this

> > > upcoming week I aught to have all the rest taken care of and

then

> > > the stress will be just waiting to see how things go.

> > >

> > > I am sorry, I haven't even had time to read any of your emails!!

> > >

> > > As far as food goes..wow..it' s much more of a challenge when my

> > > level of stress is extremely high...and I also think my harmones

are

> > > messing with me sometimes!!

> > >

> > > I have to say that I haven't had any lengthy periods of binging,

and

> > > I used to go five days in a row before I can stop.

> > >

> > > What I'm doing now instead is an improvement; I'll be fine till

> > > about 6pm or so, and even then I will have waited til hungry to

eat,

> > > but that meal is way, way bigger than any human being would need

to

> > > get full; I think I'm having a big feast, lol. I have zero will

to

> > > stop eating!!! But then after, when I'm over-full, whereas I

used

> > > to continue to binge through the night and into the next day,

I'm

> > > not doing that. I'm not eating and just waiting til hungry the

next

> > > day. So big improvement from what I used to do when very

stressed,

> > > but still eating enough to create a bit of weight gain on a body

> > > that's already big. I'm not beating myself up.

> > >

> > > But I am confused about the eat what you want; I am a true

believer

> > > that if we eat what we want enough it will lose its specialness,

but

> > > sometimes I think the amount I'd have to eat to get those foods

to

> > > be ordinary would create a bunch more weight gain. I have

certain

> > > foods that are still " special " and I have no will

power to eat a

> > > " normal " amount. Lots of foods, that I used to

restrict, I can

> > > have and not overeat, but certain foods like a great Italian

> > > restaurant version of chicken parm......well, that is too hard

to

> > > stop eating right now. I think the goal is balance; I don't

think I

> > > want to be a health extremist, but I sure want to eat a large

> > > variety of healthy foods but I sure can't restrict the chicken

parm

> > > cause you can bet that will lead to an all out binge of it

unless I

> > > avoid it forever. But I don't really want to have it ten times

in

> > > a row til it seems ordinary because that will be another 20 Lb

> > > weight gain cause I don't stop at a

> > > normal amount.

> > >

> > > I know my goal is a healthy, balanced way of eating where no

food is

> > > restricted but sometimes I don't know in the moment whether to

have

> > > the chicken parm AGAIN to make it more ordinary, or whether to

pick

> > > the salad because it's so good for me. If I could just have a

> > > normal balance of variety of foods that would be great, but then

> > > there are foods that are still " special " so how can I

be the normal

> > > eater I want to be around those foods?

> > >

> > > I still don't feel like I have all the answers!!!

> > >

> > > Laurie

> > >

> >

>

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Hi ,

It's a great suggestion. I know that according to intuitive eating or was it Overcoming Overeating, i'm supposed to put so much in front of me that I feel I can figure out, from internal cues, how much to eat, but I seriously think I can't afford to buy three at once, and plus I am quite sure I'd eat at least 1 1/2 before stopping.

I hate to veer from the principles, but in this case I do think putting a normal serving in front of me (not skimping, but putting a decent amount out that still falls within the "normal" range) makes most sense. Then I can have it often enough so eventually I won't need to polish it off. But still not every day. I really am at the point where though I don't want to restrict, I do want to care what's good for my body and stomach, not only my taste buds and cravings.

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Tue, February 2, 2010 12:39:35 PMSubject: RE: Re: Been so busy!!!

This suggestion might run afoul with the “no restriction†police but I think it makes sense…

It seems to me that, for now, chicken parm is one of those foods where portion size is defined as “however much someone puts in front of meâ€. I understand that – up until recently that has been my definition of portion size for any food that I even remotely like.

What if you asked the restaurant to split the order and put the other half in a takeout bag? Or, ideally, if they’d give you a half order. That way you’re telling your mind/body that it’s eaten the chicken parm without restriction but you’re just eating less so you can curb your fear of weight gain while you’re engaging in this exercise?

Sooner or later your body will get the idea “I can eat chicken parm whenever I wantâ€.

Just a thought.

From: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.com [mailto:IntuitiveEa ting_Support@ yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of loriSent: Tuesday, February 02, 2010 11:34 AMTo: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.comSubject: Re: [intuitiveEating_ Support] Re: Been so busy!!!

Hi ,

Hope you've been well. I definitely see your point about the state of mind being most important. I think there are a few foods where I have to give myself total full permission to enjoy them; I've done it with other foods so successfully. But you know, I had chicken parm three nights in a row and you know how big the restaurant portions are, and I just couldn't stop eating it; I guess it's last supper eating because my state of mind is probably not at the "full permission" point yet with this food.

I don't know if you struggle with the full/satisfied feeling sometimes being so incredibly dim a signal; sometimes I just think, is it too much to ask that my signal be a little more obvious and easier to follow? I have the signal but it's still so subtle.

I don't intend to restrict any food so I'll definitely be having the chicken parm again, but I also noticed that certain foods really fill me and last longer and satisfy my body and other foods satisfy my taste buds but not my body; some foods taste great but leave me with no lasting full feeling. If I have a regular french toast, it tastes awesome but just doesn't fill me for long at all, but if i have a nice multigrain pancake, I'm full for quite a while and that feels so much better in the long run; the french toast satisfies only taste buds but the multigrain pancake satisfies stomach and taste buds.

So good to hear from you :.)

Laurie

From: followyourbliss50 <levine@ cox.net>To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.comSent: Mon, February 1, 2010 9:53:58 AMSubject: [intuitiveEating_ Support] Re: Been so busy!!!

Hi Laurie, Welcome back! :) It's nice to hear your voice again. (I was thinking of you when I was posting on the Food and Feelings Board. Someone is having lap band surgery and that is a very provocative issue. I thought, where is Laurie now as she's good at debate. But then I thought, well, who knows she might be debating against me! :)Laurie,I don't think that we have to eat the food until we're sick of it --to take the glitter off of it--so it feels like "ordinary" food.If I do this (and I'm sure I have)--then all I'm doing is depriving myself. (I deprive myself when I put food in my body that my body doesn't want; it then messes up my eating schedule/routine.If I am so busy doing these academic exercises about proving to myself that I can eat, for example, m n m's, then I will have made my body full from m n' m's. So a few hours later--I have what Roth calls empty fullness. I'm not

satisfied. This is because I haven't listened to what my body really wanted. It might have wanted a "butterfinger" or spaghetti (who knows).A few weeks ago I posted on the Long Haul site about eating 11 keebler chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. (I think I stopped at 11 :)) These were new cookies for me and I was finding them very delicious and my hunger was also big (or felt bigger than my mind/judgment part thought was acceptable.) I had eaten a whole row of the cookies (there are three rows) and I still wanted more! What I did during that meal is I opened up permission. I let myself go (heaven forbid!) to the second row--I took several more and I sat down at the table with no distractions and enjoyed and savored them. Once I had given myself full permission, I was able to hear my natural limitand actually didn't eat all of the cookies I had brought to the

table.Afterwards, I decided that I needed to have those cookies in my house--because I didn't want a sense of deprivation about them. I wanted a sense of abundance. (I also have kids who might eat them up) I actually went to two stores to find them. I purchased three packages.What's interesting (and kind of sad in some ways :)) is that those cookies are still sitting untouched in our cupboard. I remember how delicious they were and how I enjoyed them, but I am waiting for my hunger/natural cravings (for this specific type food) to come up. When this happens, I will get to enjoy them again.My point here, is that abundance is more "a state of mind," which we can create by self caring words and sometime stocking up. >> Hi Everyone, > I don't want you all to think I've fallen off the face of the earth!!! I was very busy with paperwork and got 99% of it in; this upcoming week I aught to have all the rest taken care of and then the stress will be just waiting to see how things go.> > I am sorry, I haven't even had time to read any of your emails!!> > As far as food goes..wow..it' s much more of a challenge when my level of stress is extremely high...and I also think my harmones are messing with me sometimes!!> > I have to say that I haven't had any lengthy periods of binging, and I used to go five days in a row before I can stop.> > What I'm doing now instead is an improvement; I'll be fine till about 6pm or so, and even then I will have waited til hungry to eat, but that meal is way, way bigger than any human being would

need to get full; I think I'm having a big feast, lol. I have zero will to stop eating!!! But then after, when I'm over-full, whereas I used to continue to binge through the night and into the next day, I'm not doing that. I'm not eating and just waiting til hungry the next day. So big improvement from what I used to do when very stressed, but still eating enough to create a bit of weight gain on a body that's already big. I'm not beating myself up.> > But I am confused about the eat what you want; I am a true believer that if we eat what we want enough it will lose its specialness, but sometimes I think the amount I'd have to eat to get those foods to be ordinary would create a bunch more weight gain. I have certain foods that are still "special" and I have no will power to eat a "normal" amount. Lots of foods, that I used to restrict, I can have and not overeat, but certain foods like a

great Italian restaurant version of chicken parm......well, that is too hard to stop eating right now. I think the goal is balance; I don't think I want to be a health extremist, but I sure want to eat a large variety of healthy foods but I sure can't restrict the chicken parm cause you can bet that will lead to an all out binge of it unless I avoid it forever. But I don't really want to have it ten times in a row til it seems ordinary because that will be another 20 Lb weight gain cause I don't stop at a> normal amount. > > I know my goal is a healthy, balanced way of eating where no food is restricted but sometimes I don't know in the moment whether to have the chicken parm AGAIN to make it more ordinary, or whether to pick the salad because it's so good for me. If I could just have a normal balance of variety of foods that would be great, but then there are foods that are still "special" so how can I

be the normal eater I want to be around those foods?> > I still don't feel like I have all the answers!!!> > Laurie>

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Hi Laurie,

I don't put piles of food on my plate.  I take as much as I think might

fill me up, and then if I finish all of it I try to take a minute to

figure out if I'm still hungry and want more.  I don't think there's

anything wrong with "normal" portions and checking in with yourself to

see if you want more.  That's really not restricting, but  just trying

to figure out what portions work right for you.

Sohni

lori wrote:

 

Hi ,

It's a great suggestion.  I know that according to intuitive

eating or was it Overcoming Overeating, i'm supposed to put so much in

front of me that I feel I can figure out, from internal cues, how much

to eat, but I seriously think I can't afford to buy three at once, and

plus I am quite sure I'd eat at least 1 1/2 before stopping.

I hate to veer from the principles, but in this case I do think

putting a normal serving in front of me (not skimping, but putting a

decent amount out that still falls within the "normal" range) makes

most sense.  Then I can have it often enough so eventually I won't need

to polish it off.  But still not every day.  I really am at the point

where though I don't want to restrict, I do want to care what's good

for my body and stomach, not only my taste buds and cravings.

 

Laurie

From:

Karlen <jkarlenkarlen>

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tue, February 2,

2010 12:39:35 PM

Subject: RE:

Re: Been so busy!!!

 

This suggestion

might run afoul with the “no restriction†police but I think it makes

sense…

 

It seems to me that,

for now, chicken parm is one of those foods where portion size is

defined as “however much someone puts in front of meâ€.  I understand

that – up until recently that has been my definition of portion size

for any food that I even remotely like.

 

What if you asked

the restaurant to split the order and put the other half in a takeout

bag?  Or, ideally, if they’d give you a half order.  That way you’re

telling your mind/body that it’s eaten the chicken parm without

restriction but you’re just eating less so you can curb your fear of

weight gain while you’re engaging in this exercise?

 

Sooner or later your

body will get the idea “I can eat chicken parm whenever I wantâ€.

 

Just a thought.

 

From: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.com

[mailto:IntuitiveEa ting_Support@ yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of lori

Sent: Tuesday, February 02, 2010 11:34 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.com

Subject: Re: [intuitiveEating_ Support] Re: Been so busy!!!

 

 

Hi ,

Hope you've been well.  I definitely see your

point about the state of mind being most important.  I think there are

a few foods where I have to give myself total full permission to enjoy

them; I've done it with other foods so successfully.  But you know, I

had chicken parm three nights in a row and you know how big the

restaurant portions are, and I just couldn't stop eating it; I guess

it's last supper eating because my state of mind is probably not at the

"full permission" point yet with this food. 

I don't know if you struggle with the full/satisfied feeling sometimes

being so incredibly dim a signal; sometimes I just think, is it too

much to ask that my signal be a little more obvious and easier to

follow?  I have the signal but it's still so subtle.

 

I don't intend to restrict any food so I'll

definitely be having the chicken parm again, but I also noticed that

certain foods really fill me and last longer and satisfy my body and

other foods satisfy my taste buds but not my body; some foods taste

great but leave me with no lasting full feeling.  If I have a regular

french toast, it tastes awesome but just doesn't fill me for long at

all, but if i have a nice multigrain pancake, I'm full for quite a

while and that feels so much better in the long run; the french toast

satisfies only taste buds but the multigrain pancake satisfies stomach

and taste buds.

 

So good to hear from you :.)

 

Laurie

 

From: followyourbliss50 <levine@ cox.net>

To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.com

Sent: Mon, February 1, 2010 9:53:58 AM

Subject: [intuitiveEating_ Support] Re: Been so busy!!!

 

Hi Laurie,

  Welcome back! :)  It's nice to hear your voice again. (I was thinking

of you when I was posting on the Food and Feelings Board.  Someone is

having lap band surgery and that is a very provocative issue.  I

thought, where is Laurie now as she's good at debate. But then I

thought, well, who knows she might be debating against me! :)

Laurie,

I don't think that we have to eat the food until we're sick of it --to

take the glitter off of it--so it feels like "ordinary" food.

If I do this (and I'm sure I have)--then all I'm doing is depriving

myself. (I deprive myself when I put food in my body that my body

doesn't want; it then messes up my eating schedule/routine.

If I am so busy doing these academic exercises about proving to myself

that I can eat, for example, m n m's, then I will have made my body

full from m n' m's.  So a few hours later--I have what Roth calls empty

fullness. I'm not satisfied.  This is because I haven't listened to

what my body really wanted.  It might have wanted a  "butterfinger" or

spaghetti (who knows).

A few weeks ago I posted on the Long Haul site about eating 11 keebler

chocolate chip oatmeal cookies.  (I think I stopped at 11 :))   These

were new cookies for me and I was finding them very delicious and my

hunger was also big (or felt bigger than my mind/judgment part thought

was acceptable.)    I had eaten a whole row of the cookies (there are

three rows) and I still wanted more!   What I did during that meal is I

opened up permission. I let myself go (heaven forbid!) to the second

row--I took several more and I sat down at the table with no

distractions and enjoyed and savored them.  Once I had given myself full 

permission, I was able to hear my natural limit

and actually didn't eat all of the cookies I had brought to the table.

Afterwards,  I decided that I needed to have those cookies in my

house--because I didn't want a sense of deprivation about them.  I

wanted a sense of abundance. (I also have kids who might eat them up) I

actually went to two stores to find them.   I purchased three packages.

What's interesting (and kind of sad in some ways :)) is that those

cookies are still sitting untouched  in our cupboard.   I remember how

delicious they were and how I enjoyed them, but I am waiting for my

hunger/natural cravings (for this specific type food) to come up.  When

this happens, I will  get to enjoy them again.

My point here, is that abundance is more "a state of mind," which we

can create by self caring words and sometime stocking up.  

 

 

 

 

>

> Hi Everyone,

> I don't want you all to think I've fallen off the face of the

earth!!!  I was very busy with paperwork and got 99% of it in; this

upcoming week I aught to have all the rest taken care of and then the

stress will be just waiting to see how things go.

>

> I am sorry, I haven't even had time to read any of your emails!!

>

> As far as food goes..wow..it' s much more of a challenge when my

level of stress is extremely high...and I also think my harmones are

messing with me sometimes!!

>

> I have to say that I haven't had any lengthy periods of binging,

and I used to go five days in a row before I can stop.

>

> What I'm doing now instead is an improvement; I'll be fine till

about 6pm or so, and even then I will have waited til hungry to eat,

but that meal is way, way bigger than any human being would need to get

full; I think I'm having a big feast, lol.  I have zero will to stop

eating!!!  But then after, when I'm over-full, whereas I used to

continue to binge through the night and into the next day, I'm not

doing that.  I'm not eating and just waiting til hungry the next day. 

So big improvement from what I used to do when very stressed, but still

eating enough to create a bit of weight gain on a body that's already

big.  I'm not beating myself up.

>

> But I am confused about the eat what you want; I am a true

believer that if we eat what we want enough it will lose its

specialness, but sometimes I think the amount I'd have to eat to get

those foods to be ordinary would create a bunch more weight gain.  I

have certain foods that are still "special" and I have no will power to

eat a "normal" amount.  Lots of foods, that I used to restrict,  I can

have and not overeat, but certain foods like a great Italian restaurant

version of chicken parm......well, that is too hard to stop eating

right now.  I think the goal is balance; I don't think I want to be a

health extremist, but I sure want to eat a large variety of healthy

foods but I sure can't restrict the chicken parm cause you can bet that

will lead to an all out binge of it unless I avoid it forever.   But I

don't really want to have it ten times in a row til it seems ordinary

because that will be another 20 Lb weight gain cause I don't stop at a

> normal amount. 

>

> I know my goal is a healthy, balanced way of eating where no food

is restricted but sometimes I don't know in the moment whether to have

the chicken parm AGAIN to make it more ordinary, or whether to pick the

salad because it's so good for me.  If I could just have a normal

balance of variety of foods that would be great, but then there are

foods that are still "special" so how can I be the normal eater I want

to be around those foods?

>

> I still don't feel like I have all the answers!!!

>

> Laurie

>

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Hi ,

I think for now you should eat what you think you want, but be very

mindful when eating it--asking yourself, "Is this really what I want? 

Does it really taste good or am I eating it because I *think* it tastes

good?"  If you've tended to have narrow eating patterns, you might want

to try branching out and trying things that you're not sure of but you

think might be appealing.  Different types of sandwiches, salads,

soups, ethnic foods, pastas, etc.  You might find that more variety may

help.  The other thing is to make sure you're stopping when you're full

or when the food no longer appeals to you, even if that's only after a

few fries or half a brownie. 

This is something we all struggle with, I think.  I know I have days

where it's not a problem for me, and other times I really wonder what's

going to happen if I get stuck on eating some of this stuff.

Sohni

Karlen wrote:

 

I have to jump in on

this conversation because I’m starting to

find myself in a mental crisis with this.

 

How do I know my

inner compulsive overeater isn’t just living

large on this idea that it can eat whatever it wants when it wants it? 

Last

night I had brownies at two different meals and French fries at one.  I

didn’t

feel “guilty†about it but at the same time part of me is aware that

long term

eating like this has to have the same consequences as all the other

brownies

and French fries I’ve eaten in my life.

 

Doesn’t there reach

a point where I have to “force†myself to

head towards gentle nutrition?  I’m mentally good with the idea that I

can eat

whatever I want when I want to…or at least I think I am.  Maybe I’m not

until I

stop having the internal debate I’m voicing here?

 

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Share on other sites

Hi Everyone...

Excuse me for saying what is in my heart, but doesn't the logical fact come into all this, that if I continue to eat fried, fattening unhealthy food in excess quantities, my body will justifiably react by adding unwanted FAT TO MY BUTT ?

Am I not supposed to factor in the human truth of my actions with FOODS ? Sort of confused, and baffled...

Diane

To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: jkarlen@...Date: Wed, 3 Feb 2010 08:40:40 -0600Subject: RE: Re: Been so busy!!!

I have to jump in on this conversation because I’m starting to find myself in a mental crisis with this.

How do I know my inner compulsive overeater isn’t just living large on this idea that it can eat whatever it wants when it wants it? Last night I had brownies at two different meals and French fries at one. I didn’t feel “guilty” about it but at the same time part of me is aware that long term eating like this has to have the same consequences as all the other brownies and French fries I’ve eaten in my life.

Doesn’t there reach a point where I have to “force” myself to head towards gentle nutrition? I’m mentally good with the idea that I can eat whatever I want when I want to…or at least I think I am. Maybe I’m not until I stop having the internal debate I’m voicing here?

From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of loriSent: Wednesday, February 03, 2010 8:29 AMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: Re: Been so busy!!!

Hi Jen,

I completely understand where you're coming from of course because I've been feeling the same way.

In so many ways intuitive eating really does make sense and even legalizing restricted foods makes sense, and I've already done so much of legalizing! I don't regret that I can have cake and cookies and chocolate and stuff like that in the house and not gobble them up, but I did put on a lot of weight when I stopped dieting; I don't think it was from legalizing as much as it was from gaining weight after 18 yrs of dieting because I finally stopped starving myself. But I do gain some weight from legalizing foods also because I do eat more than I need for a while before I get to the point where I can have the food around and not be overly tempted to eat past a point of comfortably full.

It seems to me that, in theory, continuing to legalize the foods that I still haven't makes sense, but practically speaking I'm not going to have that food every day til I can have it around because I'm not willing to gain any more weight. I know this disagrees with the principles but I can't help feeling this way.

I'm not restricting anything, but I'm not in the mood to eat one thing for ten days in a row either; I'm at the point where I just want to be normal, lol, and I want to have an eating style that's balanced while not restricting anything. But I can't stand the thought of not having a normal, healthy, balanced eating style anymore. Chicken parm ten days in a row is not my idea of balanced, but not restricting it and having it if I really want it is also very important. right now I think I'll plan to have it once a week and then if I really, really want it I will have it more than that but I'm not bringing in 20 chicken parm dinners and eating them all week long!

Laurie

From: jentodd510 <jentodd510>To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Tue, February 2, 2010 1:01:41 PMSubject: Re: Been so busy!!!

hi Laurie,i can sort of relate to what you're saying, i think, tho my circumstances are different.i've gained 20 lbs in this past year in part from becoming way more sedentary due to agoraphobia and other anxiety, perhaps due to some of the medications i'm on and from partially easing up on restricting my eating.i feel like i haven't even really begun the IE process and i've already gained weight. i feel like my body really has the starvation mode in high gear! i'm a size 18/20 and have partially accepted the way my body is now. i feel very sad and sometimes panicky thinking about becoming larger, espcially since i am not eating all that differently.anyway...mainly just wanted to say what you wrote resonated with me...good luck with your journey,jen todd> > > > > Hi Everyone,> > > I don't want you all to think I've fallen off the face of the > > > earth!!! I was very busy with paperwork and got 99% of it in; this > > > upcoming week I aught to have all the rest taken care of and then > > > the stress will be just waiting to see how things go.> > >> > > I am sorry, I haven't even had time to read any of your emails!!> > >> > > As far as food goes..wow..it' s much more of a challenge when my > > > level of stress is extremely high...and I also think my harmones are > > > messing with me sometimes!!> > >> > > I have to say that I haven't had any lengthy periods of binging, and > > > I used to go five days in a row before I can stop.> > >> > > What I'm doing now instead is an improvement; I'll be fine till > > > about 6pm or so, and even then I will have waited til hungry to eat, > > > but that meal is way, way bigger than any human being would need to > > > get full; I think I'm having a big feast, lol. I have zero will to > > > stop eating!!! But then after, when I'm over-full, whereas I used > > > to continue to binge through the night and into the next day, I'm > > > not doing that. I'm not eating and just waiting til hungry the next > > > day. So big improvement from what I used to do when very stressed, > > > but still eating enough to create a bit of weight gain on a body > > > that's already big. I'm not beating myself up.> > >> > > But I am confused about the eat what you want; I am a true believer > > > that if we eat what we want enough it will lose its specialness, but > > > sometimes I think the amount I'd have to eat to get those foods to > > > be ordinary would create a bunch more weight gain. I have certain > > > foods that are still "special" and I have no will power to eat a > > > "normal" amount. Lots of foods, that I used to restrict, I can > > > have and not overeat, but certain foods like a great Italian > > > restaurant version of chicken parm......well, that is too hard to > > > stop eating right now. I think the goal is balance; I don't think I > > > want to be a health extremist, but I sure want to eat a large > > > variety of healthy foods but I sure can't restrict the chicken parm > > > cause you can bet that will lead to an all out binge of it unless I > > > avoid it forever. But I don't really want to have it ten times in > > > a row til it seems ordinary because that will be another 20 Lb > > > weight gain cause I don't stop at a> > > normal amount.> > >> > > I know my goal is a healthy, balanced way of eating where no food is > > > restricted but sometimes I don't know in the moment whether to have > > > the chicken parm AGAIN to make it more ordinary, or whether to pick > > > the salad because it's so good for me. If I could just have a > > > normal balance of variety of foods that would be great, but then > > > there are foods that are still "special" so how can I be the normal > > > eater I want to be around those foods?> > >> > > I still don't feel like I have all the answers!!!> > >> > > Laurie> > >> >>

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I believe what you’re talking about is the gentle nutrition

phase where you’re balancing the equation in that fashion.

From:

IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of Diane

Melanson

Sent: Wednesday, February 03, 2010 1:32 PM

To: intuitiveeating_support

Subject: RE: Re: Been so busy!!!

Hi Everyone...

Excuse me for saying what is in my heart, but doesn't the logical fact

come into all this, that if I continue to eat fried, fattening unhealthy food

in excess quantities, my body will justifiably react by adding unwanted

FAT TO MY BUTT ?

Am I not supposed to factor in the human truth of my actions with FOODS ?

Sort of confused, and baffled...

Diane

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

From: jkarlen@...

Date: Wed, 3 Feb 2010 08:40:40 -0600

Subject: RE: Re: Been so busy!!!

I have to

jump in on this conversation because I’m starting to find myself in a mental

crisis with this.

How do I

know my inner compulsive overeater isn’t just living large on this idea that it

can eat whatever it wants when it wants it? Last night I had brownies at

two different meals and French fries at one. I didn’t feel “guilty” about

it but at the same time part of me is aware that long term eating like this has

to have the same consequences as all the other brownies and French fries I’ve

eaten in my life.

Doesn’t

there reach a point where I have to “force” myself to head towards gentle

nutrition? I’m mentally good with the idea that I can eat whatever I want

when I want to…or at least I think I am. Maybe I’m not until I stop

having the internal debate I’m voicing here?

From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ]

On Behalf Of lori

Sent: Wednesday, February 03, 2010 8:29 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: Re: Been so busy!!!

Hi Jen,

I completely understand where you're coming from of

course because I've been feeling the same way.

In so many ways intuitive eating really does make sense

and even legalizing restricted foods makes sense, and I've already done so much

of legalizing! I don't regret that I can have cake and cookies and

chocolate and stuff like that in the house and not gobble them up, but I did

put on a lot of weight when I stopped dieting; I don't think it was from

legalizing as much as it was from gaining weight after 18 yrs of dieting

because I finally stopped starving myself. But I do gain some weight from

legalizing foods also because I do eat more than I need for a while before I

get to the point where I can have the food around and not be overly tempted to

eat past a point of comfortably full.

It seems to me that, in theory, continuing to legalize

the foods that I still haven't makes sense, but practically speaking I'm not

going to have that food every day til I can have it around because I'm not

willing to gain any more weight. I know this disagrees with the

principles but I can't help feeling this way.

I'm not restricting anything, but I'm not in the mood to

eat one thing for ten days in a row either; I'm at the point where I just want

to be normal, lol, and I want to have an eating style that's balanced while not

restricting anything. But I can't stand the thought of not having a

normal, healthy, balanced eating style anymore. Chicken parm ten days in

a row is not my idea of balanced, but not restricting it and having it if I

really want it is also very important. right now I think I'll plan to

have it once a week and then if I really, really want it I will have it more

than that but I'm not bringing in 20 chicken parm dinners and eating them all

week long!

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tue, February 2, 2010 1:01:41 PM

Subject: Re: Been so busy!!!

hi Laurie,

i can sort of relate to what you're saying, i think, tho my circumstances are

different.

i've gained 20 lbs in this past year in part from becoming way more sedentary

due to agoraphobia and other anxiety, perhaps due to some of the medications

i'm on and from partially easing up on restricting my eating.

i feel like i haven't even really begun the IE process and i've already gained

weight. i feel like my body really has the starvation mode in high gear! i'm a

size 18/20 and have partially accepted the way my body is now. i feel very sad

and sometimes panicky thinking about becoming larger, espcially since i am not

eating all that differently.

anyway...mainly just wanted to say what you wrote resonated with me...

good luck with your journey,

jen todd

> >

> > > Hi Everyone,

> > > I don't want you all to think I've fallen off the face of the

> > > earth!!! I was very busy with paperwork and got 99% of it in;

this

> > > upcoming week I aught to have all the rest taken care of and

then

> > > the stress will be just waiting to see how things go.

> > >

> > > I am sorry, I haven't even had time to read any of your emails!!

> > >

> > > As far as food goes..wow..it' s much more of a challenge when my

> > > level of stress is extremely high...and I also think my harmones

are

> > > messing with me sometimes!!

> > >

> > > I have to say that I haven't had any lengthy periods of binging,

and

> > > I used to go five days in a row before I can stop.

> > >

> > > What I'm doing now instead is an improvement; I'll be fine till

> > > about 6pm or so, and even then I will have waited til hungry to

eat,

> > > but that meal is way, way bigger than any human being would need

to

> > > get full; I think I'm having a big feast, lol. I have zero will

to

> > > stop eating!!! But then after, when I'm over-full, whereas I

used

> > > to continue to binge through the night and into the next day,

I'm

> > > not doing that. I'm not eating and just waiting til hungry the

next

> > > day. So big improvement from what I used to do when very

stressed,

> > > but still eating enough to create a bit of weight gain on a body

> > > that's already big. I'm not beating myself up.

> > >

> > > But I am confused about the eat what you want; I am a true

believer

> > > that if we eat what we want enough it will lose its specialness,

but

> > > sometimes I think the amount I'd have to eat to get those foods

to

> > > be ordinary would create a bunch more weight gain. I have

certain

> > > foods that are still " special " and I have no will

power to eat a

> > > " normal " amount. Lots of foods, that I used to

restrict, I can

> > > have and not overeat, but certain foods like a great Italian

> > > restaurant version of chicken parm......well, that is too hard

to

> > > stop eating right now. I think the goal is balance; I don't

think I

> > > want to be a health extremist, but I sure want to eat a large

> > > variety of healthy foods but I sure can't restrict the chicken

parm

> > > cause you can bet that will lead to an all out binge of it

unless I

> > > avoid it forever. But I don't really want to have it ten times

in

> > > a row til it seems ordinary because that will be another 20 Lb

> > > weight gain cause I don't stop at a

> > > normal amount.

> > >

> > > I know my goal is a healthy, balanced way of eating where no

food is

> > > restricted but sometimes I don't know in the moment whether to

have

> > > the chicken parm AGAIN to make it more ordinary, or whether to

pick

> > > the salad because it's so good for me. If I could just have a

> > > normal balance of variety of foods that would be great, but then

> > > there are foods that are still " special " so how can I

be the normal

> > > eater I want to be around those foods?

> > >

> > > I still don't feel like I have all the answers!!!

> > >

> > > Laurie

> > >

> >

>

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Share on other sites

Not sure exactly what you mean, Diane, but yes, constantly eating foods

that are bad for us will result in poor health and undesired body

changes (so to speak).  That's why so many of us have had bad outcomes

after dieting and the resultant binges.  The answer is not to restrict

yourself from eating unhealthy foods *while* you also explore the world

of healthier eating and learn that your body may crave foods that both

taste good and are good for you.  I binge on unhealthy foods, but

overall, if I'm eating intuitively I want healthy foods.  Right now I'm

on a tofu kick...seriously!  ; )

Sohni

Diane Melanson wrote:

 

Hi Everyone...

 

Excuse me for saying what is in my heart, but doesn't the logical fact

come into all this, that if I continue to eat fried, fattening

unhealthy food in excess quantities, my body will justifiably react by

adding unwanted FAT TO MY BUTT ?

 

Am I not supposed to factor in the human truth of my actions with FOODS

?  Sort of confused, and baffled...

Diane

 

 

 

 

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

From: jkarlenkarlen

Date: Wed, 3 Feb 2010 08:40:40 -0600

Subject: RE: Re: Been so busy!!!

 

I have to jump in on

this conversation because I’m starting to find myself in a mental

crisis with this.

 

How do I know my

inner compulsive overeater isn’t just living large on this idea that it

can eat whatever it wants when it wants it?  Last night I had brownies

at two different meals and French fries at one.  I didn’t feel “guilty”

about it but at the same time part of me is aware that long term eating

like this has to have the same consequences as all the other brownies

and French fries I’ve eaten in my life.

 

Doesn’t there reach

a point where I have to “force” myself to head towards gentle

nutrition?  I’m mentally good with the idea that I can eat whatever I

want when I want to…or at least I think I am.  Maybe I’m not until I

stop having the internal debate I’m voicing here?

 

From: IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On

Behalf Of lori

Sent: Wednesday, February 03, 2010 8:29 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: Re: Been so busy!!!

 

 

Hi Jen,

I completely understand where you're coming

from of course because I've been feeling the same way.

In so many ways intuitive eating really does

make sense and even legalizing restricted foods makes sense, and I've

already done so much of legalizing!  I don't regret that I can have

cake and cookies and chocolate and stuff like that in the house and not

gobble them up, but I did put on a lot of weight when I stopped

dieting; I don't think it was from legalizing as much as it was from

gaining weight after 18 yrs of dieting because I finally stopped

starving myself.  But I do gain some weight from legalizing foods also

because I do eat more than I need for a while before I get to the point

where I can have the food around and not be overly tempted to eat past

a point of comfortably full.

 

It seems to me that, in theory, continuing to

legalize the foods that I still haven't makes sense, but practically

speaking I'm not going to have that food every day til I can have it

around because I'm not willing to gain any more weight.  I know this

disagrees with the principles but I can't help feeling this way. 

 

I'm not restricting anything, but I'm not in

the mood to eat one thing for ten days in a row either; I'm at the

point where I just want to be normal, lol, and I want to have an eating

style that's balanced while not restricting anything.  But I can't

stand the thought of not having a normal, healthy, balanced eating

style anymore.  Chicken parm ten days in a row is not my idea of

balanced, but not restricting it and having it if I really want it is

also very important.  right now I think I'll plan to have it once a

week and then if I really, really want it I will have it more than that

but I'm not bringing in 20 chicken parm dinners and eating them all

week long!

 

Laurie

 

From: jentodd510 <jentodd510>

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tue, February 2, 2010 1:01:41 PM

Subject: Re: Been so busy!!!

 

hi Laurie,

i can sort of relate to what you're saying, i think, tho my

circumstances are different.

i've gained 20 lbs in this past year in part from becoming way more

sedentary due to agoraphobia and other anxiety, perhaps due to some of

the medications i'm on and from partially easing up on restricting my

eating.

i feel like i haven't even really begun the IE process and i've already

gained weight. i feel like my body really has the starvation mode in

high gear! i'm a size 18/20 and have partially accepted the way my body

is now. i feel very sad and sometimes panicky thinking about becoming

larger, espcially since i am not eating all that differently.

anyway...mainly just wanted to say what you wrote resonated with me...

good luck with your journey,

jen todd

> >

> > > Hi Everyone,

> > > I don't want you all to think I've fallen off the face

of the

> > > earth!!! I was very busy with paperwork and got 99% of

it in; this

> > > upcoming week I aught to have all the rest taken care of

and then

> > > the stress will be just waiting to see how things go.

> > >

> > > I am sorry, I haven't even had time to read any of your

emails!!

> > >

> > > As far as food goes..wow..it' s much more of a challenge

when my

> > > level of stress is extremely high...and I also think my

harmones are

> > > messing with me sometimes!!

> > >

> > > I have to say that I haven't had any lengthy periods of

binging, and

> > > I used to go five days in a row before I can stop.

> > >

> > > What I'm doing now instead is an improvement; I'll be

fine till

> > > about 6pm or so, and even then I will have waited til

hungry to eat,

> > > but that meal is way, way bigger than any human being

would need to

> > > get full; I think I'm having a big feast, lol. I have

zero will to

> > > stop eating!!! But then after, when I'm over-full,

whereas I used

> > > to continue to binge through the night and into the next

day, I'm

> > > not doing that. I'm not eating and just waiting til

hungry the next

> > > day. So big improvement from what I used to do when very

stressed,

> > > but still eating enough to create a bit of weight gain

on a body

> > > that's already big. I'm not beating myself up.

> > >

> > > But I am confused about the eat what you want; I am a

true believer

> > > that if we eat what we want enough it will lose its

specialness, but

> > > sometimes I think the amount I'd have to eat to get

those foods to

> > > be ordinary would create a bunch more weight gain. I

have certain

> > > foods that are still "special" and I have no will power

to eat a

> > > "normal" amount. Lots of foods, that I used to restrict,

I can

> > > have and not overeat, but certain foods like a great

Italian

> > > restaurant version of chicken parm......well, that is

too hard to

> > > stop eating right now. I think the goal is balance; I

don't think I

> > > want to be a health extremist, but I sure want to eat a

large

> > > variety of healthy foods but I sure can't restrict the

chicken parm

> > > cause you can bet that will lead to an all out binge of

it unless I

> > > avoid it forever. But I don't really want to have it ten

times in

> > > a row til it seems ordinary because that will be another

20 Lb

> > > weight gain cause I don't stop at a

> > > normal amount.

> > >

> > > I know my goal is a healthy, balanced way of eating

where no food is

> > > restricted but sometimes I don't know in the moment

whether to have

> > > the chicken parm AGAIN to make it more ordinary, or

whether to pick

> > > the salad because it's so good for me. If I could just

have a

> > > normal balance of variety of foods that would be great,

but then

> > > there are foods that are still "special" so how can I be

the normal

> > > eater I want to be around those foods?

> > >

> > > I still don't feel like I have all the answers!!!

> > >

> > > Laurie

> > >

> >

>

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Share on other sites

Ok Sohni, I haven't read much yet. My books are on order still...

To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: jeanniet58@...Date: Wed, 3 Feb 2010 12:36:38 -0800Subject: Re: Re: Been so busy!!!

Not sure exactly what you mean, Diane, but yes, constantly eating foods that are bad for us will result in poor health and undesired body changes (so to speak). That's why so many of us have had bad outcomes after dieting and the resultant binges. The answer is not to restrict yourself from eating unhealthy foods *while* you also explore the world of healthier eating and learn that your body may crave foods that both taste good and are good for you. I binge on unhealthy foods, but overall, if I'm eating intuitively I want healthy foods. Right now I'm on a tofu kick...seriously! ; )SohniDiane Melanson wrote:

Hi Everyone... Excuse me for saying what is in my heart, but doesn't the logical fact come into all this, that if I continue to eat fried, fattening unhealthy food in excess quantities, my body will justifiably react by adding unwanted FAT TO MY BUTT ? Am I not supposed to factor in the human truth of my actions with FOODS ? Sort of confused, and baffled...Diane

To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: jkarlenkarlenDate: Wed, 3 Feb 2010 08:40:40 -0600Subject: RE: Re: Been so busy!!!

I have to jump in on this conversation because I’m starting to find myself in a mental crisis with this.

How do I know my inner compulsive overeater isn’t just living large on this idea that it can eat whatever it wants when it wants it? Last night I had brownies at two different meals and French fries at one. I didn’t feel “guilty” about it but at the same time part of me is aware that long term eating like this has to have the same consequences as all the other brownies and French fries I’ve eaten in my life.

Doesn’t there reach a point where I have to “force” myself to head towards gentle nutrition? I’m mentally good with the idea that I can eat whatever I want when I want to…or at least I think I am. Maybe I’m not until I stop having the internal debate I’m voicing here?

From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of loriSent: Wednesday, February 03, 2010 8:29 AMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: Re: Been so busy!!!

Hi Jen,

I completely understand where you're coming from of course because I've been feeling the same way.

In so many ways intuitive eating really does make sense and even legalizing restricted foods makes sense, and I've already done so much of legalizing! I don't regret that I can have cake and cookies and chocolate and stuff like that in the house and not gobble them up, but I did put on a lot of weight when I stopped dieting; I don't think it was from legalizing as much as it was from gaining weight after 18 yrs of dieting because I finally stopped starving myself. But I do gain some weight from legalizing foods also because I do eat more than I need for a while before I get to the point where I can have the food around and not be overly tempted to eat past a point of comfortably full.

It seems to me that, in theory, continuing to legalize the foods that I still haven't makes sense, but practically speaking I'm not going to have that food every day til I can have it around because I'm not willing to gain any more weight. I know this disagrees with the principles but I can't help feeling this way.

I'm not restricting anything, but I'm not in the mood to eat one thing for ten days in a row either; I'm at the point where I just want to be normal, lol, and I want to have an eating style that's balanced while not restricting anything. But I can't stand the thought of not having a normal, healthy, balanced eating style anymore. Chicken parm ten days in a row is not my idea of balanced, but not restricting it and having it if I really want it is also very important. right now I think I'll plan to have it once a week and then if I really, really want it I will have it more than that but I'm not bringing in 20 chicken parm dinners and eating them all week long!

Laurie

From: jentodd510 <jentodd510>To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Tue, February 2, 2010 1:01:41 PMSubject: Re: Been so busy!!!

hi Laurie,i can sort of relate to what you're saying, i think, tho my circumstances are different.i've gained 20 lbs in this past year in part from becoming way more sedentary due to agoraphobia and other anxiety, perhaps due to some of the medications i'm on and from partially easing up on restricting my eating.i feel like i haven't even really begun the IE process and i've already gained weight. i feel like my body really has the starvation mode in high gear! i'm a size 18/20 and have partially accepted the way my body is now. i feel very sad and sometimes panicky thinking about becoming larger, espcially since i am not eating all that differently.anyway...mainly just wanted to say what you wrote resonated with me...good luck with your journey,jen todd> > > > > Hi Everyone,> > > I don't want you all to think I've fallen off the face of the > > > earth!!! I was very busy with paperwork and got 99% of it in; this > > > upcoming week I aught to have all the rest taken care of and then > > > the stress will be just waiting to see how things go.> > >> > > I am sorry, I haven't even had time to read any of your emails!!> > >> > > As far as food goes..wow..it' s much more of a challenge when my > > > level of stress is extremely high...and I also think my harmones are > > > messing with me sometimes!!> > >> > > I have to say that I haven't had any lengthy periods of binging, and > > > I used to go five days in a row before I can stop.> > >> > > What I'm doing now instead is an improvement; I'll be fine till > > > about 6pm or so, and even then I will have waited til hungry to eat, > > > but that meal is way, way bigger than any human being would need to > > > get full; I think I'm having a big feast, lol. I have zero will to > > > stop eating!!! But then after, when I'm over-full, whereas I used > > > to continue to binge through the night and into the next day, I'm > > > not doing that. I'm not eating and just waiting til hungry the next > > > day. So big improvement from what I used to do when very stressed, > > > but still eating enough to create a bit of weight gain on a body > > > that's already big. I'm not beating myself up.> > >> > > But I am confused about the eat what you want; I am a true believer > > > that if we eat what we want enough it will lose its specialness, but > > > sometimes I think the amount I'd have to eat to get those foods to > > > be ordinary would create a bunch more weight gain. I have certain > > > foods that are still "special" and I have no will power to eat a > > > "normal" amount. Lots of foods, that I used to restrict, I can > > > have and not overeat, but certain foods like a great Italian > > > restaurant version of chicken parm......well, that is too hard to > > > stop eating right now. I think the goal is balance; I don't think I > > > want to be a health extremist, but I sure want to eat a large > > > variety of healthy foods but I sure can't restrict the chicken parm > > > cause you can bet that will lead to an all out binge of it unless I > > > avoid it forever. But I don't really want to have it ten times in > > > a row til it seems ordinary because that will be another 20 Lb > > > weight gain cause I don't stop at a> > > normal amount.> > >> > > I know my goal is a healthy, balanced way of eating where no food is > > > restricted but sometimes I don't know in the moment whether to have > > > the chicken parm AGAIN to make it more ordinary, or whether to pick > > > the salad because it's so good for me. If I could just have a > > > normal balance of variety of foods that would be great, but then > > > there are foods that are still "special" so how can I be the normal > > > eater I want to be around those foods?> > >> > > I still don't feel like I have all the answers!!!> > >> > > Laurie> > >> >>

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