Guest guest Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Death in family or friends. How do you handle the death without turn to foods to emotion comfort? This is something had hit me so hard. I have had 3 parents. 2 of them already passed away long time ago that I had no longer feel urge of the foods. Now, past few days I have had found out about my stepmother who is old woman and she is dying. I feel like I want to just eating until make myself feel sick. Yet I have not start it yet. I admit I am in debating which side would I likely win my intuiting eating or emotional eating? So, here my question. How do you deal with this death in family or friends? Eliza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Hi Eliza, I don't know if this will help or not, but 11 years ago my older brother committed suicide after many years of suffering with mental illness. It wasn't unexpected, but still a shock. I gave myself permission to use food to make myself feel better, which in retrospect was a mistake, because it didn't help and gave me one more thing to struggling with when I was already overwhelmed. I had so many feelings and thoughts racing through my mind (when I wasn't in a complete fog) that there was no way food could push everything away. I also started working out less--also a mistake. My advice would be to consciously live with the grief, and do whatever you have to do to get through it--talk with people, go for long walks and cry, see a therapist--but don't try to push your feelings away with food. If you need to, tell yourself something like, "This won't make me feel better. I'm going to go do ____________ instead." I'm sorry about your stepmother. (((hugs))) JeannieT Hawk wrote: Death in family or friends. How do you handle the death without turn to foods to emotion comfort? This is something had hit me so hard. I have had 3 parents. 2 of them already passed away long time ago that I had no longer feel urge of the foods. Now, past few days I have had found out about my stepmother who is old woman and she is dying. I feel like I want to just eating until make myself feel sick. Yet I have not start it yet. I admit I am in debating which side would I likely win my intuiting eating or emotional eating? So, here my question. How do you deal with this death in family or friends? Eliza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Eliza,First of all my deepest sympathies. My answer to you is to feel it. Until you feel the pain you can't heal from it which is ultimately what you need. Eating through pain is like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound - it'll sop up some of the blood but it won't heal the wound.Cry, scream, beat up pillows. Sadness and pain are part of what makes us alive and the death of a parent justifies pain and you're entitled to feel it.Use this list and it's members to whatever extent you want. I'm sure I don't overpromise when I say we're all here for you. Death in family or friends. How do you handle the death without turn to foods to emotion comfort? This is something had hit me so hard. I have had 3 parents. 2 of them already passed away long time ago that I had no longer feel urge of the foods. Now, past few days I have had found out about my stepmother who is old woman and she is dying. I feel like I want to just eating until make myself feel sick. Yet I have not start it yet. I admit I am in debating which side would I likely win my intuiting eating or emotional eating? So, here my question. How do you deal with this death in family or friends? Eliza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Oh Eliza, I'm so very sorry to hear about your stepmother!!! She has obviously been a very important figure in your life and is a very special lady! From personal experience, I can tell you that using food to cope in the hopes of easing the pain and sadness you're feeling right now doesn't help in the long run! Eventually it will catch up with you, and you'll have to deal with the feelings anyway. I know when I lost my mother 12 years ago there wasn't enough food or alcohol to take away the intense pain and sorrow I was feeling! At the suggestion of a hospice counselor, I joined a grief support group where I could share with others who were feeling as badly as I was. My suggestion would be to take care of yourself at this very stressful time and seek out some grief support for yourself. I think there are even some online support groups. I send you a e-mail hug and hate you're having to go through this! All the best, Jeanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 You're correct, Jon, you do not overpromise! We're here for you, Eliza! Love and hugs, Jeanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 How about calling or being with a friend or family member who is willing to listen to you, give you hugs, love you, and just hang out with you THROUGH the pain... Somebody you love who will cry with you... Works for me... Diane To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: elizahawk@...Date: Sun, 31 Jan 2010 17:47:26 +0000Subject: How do you handle this? Death in family or friends. How do you handle the death without turn to foods to emotion comfort? This is something had hit me so hard. I have had 3 parents. 2 of them already passed away long time ago that I had no longer feel urge of the foods. Now, past few days I have had found out about my stepmother who is old woman and she is dying. I feel like I want to just eating until make myself feel sick. Yet I have not start it yet. I admit I am in debating which side would I likely win my intuiting eating or emotional eating? So, here my question. How do you deal with this death in family or friends? Eliza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Hi Eliza... Im sorry I pressed send before I said how sad I am for you, and the pain of losing someone you loved so much... I myself get great comfort from my Faith in God, so it helps when I read my Bible or be with Christians who share in my beliefs... But one thing is for sure, what never helped was a brownie or a cookie, or even a drink for that matter... The pain and sadness were always there waiting for me when I returned.... I will keep you in my prayers... Diane To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: elizahawk@...Date: Sun, 31 Jan 2010 17:47:26 +0000Subject: How do you handle this? Death in family or friends. How do you handle the death without turn to foods to emotion comfort? This is something had hit me so hard. I have had 3 parents. 2 of them already passed away long time ago that I had no longer feel urge of the foods. Now, past few days I have had found out about my stepmother who is old woman and she is dying. I feel like I want to just eating until make myself feel sick. Yet I have not start it yet. I admit I am in debating which side would I likely win my intuiting eating or emotional eating? So, here my question. How do you deal with this death in family or friends? Eliza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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